So have you been following this whole #HowToSpotAFeminist thing on the Tweeter? The hashtag was started a couple of days ago by some right-wing radio dudes as an excuse to say mean things about feminism. By yesterday it had turned into a monster, with some feminists jumping in to try to combat the forces of darkness; as I write this at 7:28 AM Wednesday it’s still going strong.
Happily, the hashtag is proving to be very educational. So I would like to share with you The top 10 shocking “truths” about feminism I’ve learned from #HowToSpotAFeminist. You may want to take notes, as some of them are truly shocking indeed.
1) Feminists are fat and ugly with stinky, hairy armpits and no one likes them
#HowToSpotAFeminist – Usually fat & ugly, always inherently unlikeable, supremely hypocritical, snarky, annoying, deluded, intransigent.
— Paul Joseph Watson (@PrisonPlanet) May 5, 2015
https://twitter.com/TechEFX/status/595634992702685184
https://twitter.com/Sgt_Bravo/status/595770240291733506
#HowToSpotAFeminist find an ugly, stupid, hairy, fat girl who talks too much and doesn't wear enough makeup to cover her ugly face
— roz (@rozzzzzzzz) May 5, 2015
https://twitter.com/SaltyCon/status/595698771264217090
https://twitter.com/gardenofthegods/status/595746816307630083
https://twitter.com/Mikkjr/status/595777294377078784
#HowToSpotAFeminist Hasnt shaved in months, smells nasty and is usually fat & ugly.
— Indian Meninist (@IndianMeninist) May 5, 2015
https://twitter.com/Hello_Meow/status/595793317100658688
https://twitter.com/JeremySteyer/status/595757786627186689
#HowToSpotAFeminist You dont usually spot them first, you will usually smell them coming.
— Leo🐸 (@TheKorzion) May 6, 2015
https://twitter.com/jokeocracy/status/595620011567390721
#HowToSpotAFeminist look for the dyed and braided armpit hair. There's also no mistaking the smell.
— Jessie Ramsey, ABC (@jramseyABC) May 6, 2015
#HowToSpotAFeminist She is super ugly and make men sad with her ugliness. #hugoawards please now.
— Shaenon K. Garrity (@shaenongarrity) May 6, 2015
Oh, wait, I think that last one is a ringer.
2) Feminists have smelly vaginas that may contain sand, cobwebs
Their vagina smells like their asshole because of the shit that comes from the inside flies right out their mouths. #HowToSpotAFeminist
— MG_SNAKE (@VenomIsLust) May 6, 2015
https://twitter.com/BizarroGodzilla/status/595656206947069952
https://twitter.com/Your_in_nation/status/595828853009993728
https://twitter.com/ComputerThug/status/595604888362590208
3) These ugly, fat, hairy, feminists with stinky armpits and cobweb-filled vaginas sometimes resort to ad hominem instead of serious man logic
https://twitter.com/Sizzle75Ian/status/595854364859887617
https://twitter.com/HeroOfCanton42/status/595821728259055617
https://twitter.com/ABurntTVDinner/status/595756421314129922
4) Feminists are Jews, or they’re controlled by Jews, or, I dunno, something to do with Jews
https://twitter.com/CapitalistMao/status/595752677163847681
https://twitter.com/AntiRHitler/status/595843351200571393
https://twitter.com/QuantumBios/status/595718068095025153
https://twitter.com/ReddFields/status/595859969783762944
5) Feminists don’t know what “real feminism” is, and need to have some doofus on the internet who refers to women as “cumsluts” explain it to them
https://twitter.com/CartoonRage/status/595858534690136064
#HowToSpotAFeminist They are the strident malcontents focused on imaginary oppression and petty complaints. They are NOT real feminists
— Peter Deacon (@AmerPatriot1) May 6, 2015
https://twitter.com/TsundereRager/status/595564852501999616
6) Feminists think they are equal to men, even though they sometimes need to have things repaired
https://twitter.com/voteforcantwell/status/595690322908344323
#HowToSpotAFeminist she's the one talking about "toxic masculinity", but has her car towed to the mechanic when it breaks down.
— Jessie Ramsey, ABC (@jramseyABC) May 6, 2015
7) Feminists for some weird reason think that rape is bad even though they’re so ugly no one would even want to rape them
https://twitter.com/MARTYM0NDAYS/status/595747350083203074
#HowToSpotAFeminist She is the one being raped. By everything. pic.twitter.com/V6ZAM9gomV
— Your Father (@LBR_TY) May 6, 2015
https://twitter.com/olearyos/status/595789379534196736
She's the one worried about being raped, despite being so ugly no one would want her pic.twitter.com/eZnNWk1dTH
— Bisex Master (@bisex_master) May 6, 2015
https://twitter.com/naughty_nerdess/status/595881432196714496
8) Feminists aren’t real women, possibly because they don’t like Hitler enough
Real women aren't feminists, they're too busy getting on with the business of being free and equal to be mad at nonsense #HowToSpotAFeminist
— Steve Evenly Naked (@impossiblebones) May 5, 2015
https://twitter.com/rentrikin/status/595648628116606977
https://twitter.com/ThatFoxyShadow/status/595726000987742208
9) They have kept alive by men for all of human life and still are with male taxes.In 40years of feminism only assault men
https://twitter.com/Sizzle75Ian/status/595856408651902979
10) Whatever the hell is going on here
They pretend to hate the system they exploit for money & power. http://t.co/ACKrX18nqs #HowToSpotAFeminist
— Hannah Wallen | Professional Smartass (@Oneiorosgrip) May 6, 2015
@proxieme re: love
Redpillians have re-conceptualized love as something dirty, unpredictable, and feeemale, based on selfish delusion (projection for the win), and, most tellingly, bereft of sex and respect for the husband (which, in their minds, is one and the same thing; also, more projection).
They’ve contrasted this projected red herring with their ‘manly’ version of marriage which is based on obligation (read: sex and money, i.e., their money and their sex needs).
They delight themselves in making fun of love — something of which they are distinctly incapable and which is forever beyond their understanding — while simultaneously crowing that men love idealistically (no kidding, lol) and women opportunistically (for realz; redpillian lojick in action).
So yeah, a woman reminding one of them that marriage is about love evokes all kinds of projection-fueled angry associations.
Forget being a fully realized human being with hopes and dreams, these insightful insults have made me realize that meeting the expectations of random men is my highest calling! Oh, vitriolic internet strangers, your grudging approval means so much to me now – how will I ever convince you that I am as lovely as a spring morn and delightfully fragrant to boot?
Re: tires ‘n stuff
Why is this somehow a sign of poor character to rely on services of a professional when dealing with assorted life problems? It has nothing to do with feminism.
Do those Manly Men (TM) refuse services of women professionals in many areas of life just to make a point of their Manly Manliness (TM)?
Aunt Edna,
I know. Have they never seen a female nurse or doctor? Had a female teacher? Been helped by a woman at a bank? Does being helped by a female professional mean they have their man cards revoked? At my old work, the person who always fixed our computer problems was a woman. Does that mean the men there aren’t real men because a feeemale fixed their computer? It’s so stupid. Nobody is an expert in every area. We all need the assistance of a professional sometimes. Some of them may be a different gender. So what!
…Why would shit coming out of your mouth make your vagina smell like your butt?
@katz:
Gulp.
Well, human anatomy and physiology is not their strong suit either.
Shall we take a peak at a few of these Twitter feeds?
Snark Enlightenment @jokeocracy
a bullet behind a marxists’ ear is all the fair play they deserve, they’d do it to you in a heartbeat wake the fuck up
Snark Enlightenment @jokeocracy
#HowToSpotAFeminist use binoculars and laser range finder from >500 yards, adjust for windage, tell your sniper teammate to fire at will
Snark Enlightenment @jokeocracy
how could cops shoot those muslims in cold blood? why weren’t they busy framing good college-bound black boys for crimes they didn’t commit?
Snark Enlightenment @jokeocracy
in an alternate-reality non-faggot America boy scouts are earning their sniper merit badges for headshotting rioting dindus
Uh, ha ha? If your name suggests all sorts of hilarity awaits us, you should have at least be mildly amusing at some point. AE has sprawling anger issues that mostly involve racism, but he takes time off being outraged by non-white people to accuse Sheryl Sandburg of murdering her husband and accuse Joss Whedon’s feminism of ruining Avengers: Age of Ultron. He doesn’t seem like a fun guy.
Rachel Edwards @naughty_nerdess
#HowToSpotAFeminist “A dictionary and my favorite celebrities say it’s about equality..” They don’t see the broken logic in this
Rachel Edwards @naughty_nerdess
#HowToSpotAFeminist Hates “the patriarchy,” spends all their time talking about it.
This plucky Gamer Gator has fallen a little in love with #howtospotafeminist. She grinded out 27 tweets with the hashtag in two hours, caught some ZZZs and is now back at eight hours later.
I learned from her feed that Gamer Gators had a Washington D.C. get together a few days ago. Why hell didn’t any one tell me?!? Great, I have dozens of hilarious Arthur Chu putdowns and missed my one chance to tell them to people who both know who he is and inexplicably hate him.
@Aunt Edna;
So is anything demanding a tiny bit of reflection from them, like metaphors.
I’d say they’re not allowed to call us feminazis anymore, considering real Nazis don’t like us at all…
Well that was pretty nasty, sheesh. I guess all the attractive nice smelling feminists I know are hallucinations. I better get my meds reevaluated. Excuse me while I go braid my armpit hair.
Lol, Dana!
Re: computers and fixing things –
This makes no sense to me. At all. What does professional ability have anything to do with gender?
What about someone like me who can build a computer from scratch, but I have a hard time finding my car’s engine even when it is properly labeled and I have a mechanic point to it with a giant laser pointer. I also call AAA to change my tire because they can do it far better and safer than I can.
Does that mean I am only 1/2 a man in their eyes?
Then you get to the level of capability. I can put all the hardware together, but editing a computer bios I still require research on. Does that invalidate my manliness? What about VR? I have no clue how to build or fix a oculus VR headset. How does that figure into ones manliness abilities?
Also anyone who thinks a woman can’t lift more than 40lbs has never met a mother.
This is ridiculous. Armpit hair doesn’t grow long enough to get a decent braid out of it.
If the MRM did no other harm than reinforcing the stereotype that men need to be interested in cars, I would still hate it. Every time a guy tries to bond with me by blabbering about cars – the single most boring topic in all of the universe – it makes me want to strangle something.
“3) These ugly, fat, hairy, feminists with stinky armpits and cobweb-filled vaginas sometimes resort to ad hominem instead of serious man logic”
That’s a fairly good summary of all these tweets. It was pretty rich seeing those appeals to “logic” in a hashtag of mostly childish insults.
Ha, I am fat and I am dirty right now, might even be a bit smelly. But I’m about take a bath. It’s my grand plan to go undercover.
@Nitram
When you’re a feminist, it just naturally grows longer and fuller. Because science. *skips through a wildflower field, long, flowing armpit hair trailing in the wind*
Also, pretty much all these tweets are about women feminist because, obviously, there are no men who are feminists. You guys don’t exist, sorry.
@banana Cake
Crap. I have a big problem then. How am I going to break this to my wife that the last 16 years she has spent dating and having children with her imagination?
… Actually don’t ask that. She will likely say her imaginary husband is far better than I am.
Wait a sec.
So, cooters smell like arse because poo originates in them and subsequently exits thru the owner’s mouth what?
What is the “shit” of vaginal origin these gentlemen speak of? And how does it get from the vagina to the mouth to exit the body? And how does it exiting the body through the mouth make the vagina smell like butt?
This is just fucking silly. I’m going back to growing out my leg hair.
There were many facepalm moments in this post, but I think this one was my favorite.
The part about validation really gets me because it is MRA types who seek validation (from other men) by having sex. Feminists, on the other hand, have been trying to get society to accept the idea that women can have sex for for no other reason that because we want to.
Or did I just miss the memo about opposite day?
Dammit, I got the ugly part right but forgot the part about being Jewish. And I didn’t even know “dirty” and “smelly” were feminist stereotypes. How’d we get so dirty if we won’t even change a tire?
I see the AVFM Facebook page has posts that straight-up say, “Give us money for this questionable project because it’ll piss off feminists!” This gives me hope that my ongoing campaign to get a Hugo Award nomination by agreeing to hate women, gays, and liberals will triumph.
How to spot a sexist shitferbrains (in way more than ten uneasy steps):
They post illegible (and often illiterate) memes on Twitter, claiming they’ve sussed out what feminism “really is”.
They use the word “cumslut” all the fucking time.
They have rape confused with sex. And humor.
They have butts confused with vaginas. And their own heads confused with their butts, which I guess is understandable, because where else would they keep ’em?
They use every tired old ugly trope there is (and it’s probably sheer projection on their part, too.)
They spell things in ALL FUCKING CAPS. Or with 0s in place of Os.
They unironically refer to us as “feminazis”, only to slide right into every old Hitlerian trope in the book.
They reach for the old “you’re not a real feminist because you’re not whining about Islam” canard.
They kvetch about our lack of hygiene, beauty, manners, etc. Meanwhile, what they thought was us is in fact their own bathroom mirror. Because they haven’t gotten off the john ALL DAY.
They think conservative women are “hot”. Or claim to, because overprocessed helmet hair and clutched pearls are soooooo sexay.
They obsess about sex (and the women who have it) because with THEIR personalities, they secretly know they ain’t gettin’ any.
They call all women whores, but then whine about how they ain’t gettin’ any.
A personality? What’s that? Oh, just something to make fun of…because they ain’t got any.
Irony? What’s that? Oh, something that they wouldn’t know if it bit them. (And it does…all the time.)
They kvetch about all the things women can’t do, but they can’t do them either. (Do you even lift cars, bro?)
They never met a feminist (because no woman spends more time talking to them than she absolutely MUST), so of course they’re full of shit about them.
And they’re loud and proud of it, too, which is convenient, because that lets any woman with an iota of intelligence and self-esteem dodge them when she smells the douchebag doused in Axe coming her way.
Did I miss any?
“Do you even lift cars, bro?”
This is the best. XD Omigod my cheeks are hurting.
“Their vagina smells like their asshole because of the shit that comes from the inside flies right out their mouths.”
You fail anatomy forever. (Maybe they were too busy asking to smell women’s vaginas to pay attention in school?)
Learning that Nazis hate feminists actually made my day. Thank you.
I guess I’m a seasonal feminist if I only shave off armpit/leg hair in the summer, right? Or is it more about being smelly, which means I’m more of a feminist after exercising? Or is it about mechanical abilities, in which case I’m a feminist because I don’t fix my car myself, yet I take my car to the mechanic when… wait a second, I don’t have a car. HOW CAN I KNOW IF I’M A FEMINIST OR NOT IF I DON’T HAVE A CAR??? It’s all so confusing!