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The top 10 shocking “truths” about feminism I’ve learned from #HowToSpotAFeminist

That is a lot of tweeting.
That is a lot of tweeting.

So have you been following this whole  thing on the Tweeter? The hashtag was started a couple of days ago by some right-wing radio dudes as an excuse to say mean things about feminism. By yesterday it had turned into a monster, with some feminists jumping in to try to combat the forces of darkness; as I write this at 7:28 AM Wednesday it’s still going strong.

Happily, the hashtag is proving to be very educational. So I would like to share with you The top 10 shocking “truths” about feminism I’ve learned from #HowToSpotAFeminist. You may want to take notes, as some of them are truly shocking indeed.

1) Feminists are fat and ugly with stinky, hairy armpits and no one likes them

https://twitter.com/TechEFX/status/595634992702685184

https://twitter.com/Sgt_Bravo/status/595770240291733506

https://twitter.com/SaltyCon/status/595698771264217090

https://twitter.com/gardenofthegods/status/595746816307630083

https://twitter.com/Mikkjr/status/595777294377078784

https://twitter.com/Hello_Meow/status/595793317100658688

https://twitter.com/JeremySteyer/status/595757786627186689

https://twitter.com/jokeocracy/status/595620011567390721

Oh, wait, I think that last one is a ringer.

2) Feminists have smelly vaginas that may contain sand, cobwebs

https://twitter.com/BizarroGodzilla/status/595656206947069952

https://twitter.com/Your_in_nation/status/595828853009993728

https://twitter.com/ComputerThug/status/595604888362590208

3) These ugly, fat, hairy, feminists with stinky armpits and cobweb-filled vaginas sometimes resort to ad hominem instead of serious man logic

https://twitter.com/Sizzle75Ian/status/595854364859887617

https://twitter.com/HeroOfCanton42/status/595821728259055617

https://twitter.com/ABurntTVDinner/status/595756421314129922

4) Feminists are Jews, or they’re controlled by Jews, or, I dunno, something to do with Jews

https://twitter.com/CapitalistMao/status/595752677163847681

https://twitter.com/AntiRHitler/status/595843351200571393

https://twitter.com/QuantumBios/status/595718068095025153

https://twitter.com/ReddFields/status/595859969783762944

jewslose

5) Feminists don’t know what “real feminism” is, and need to have some doofus on the internet who refers to women as “cumsluts” explain it to them

https://twitter.com/CartoonRage/status/595858534690136064

https://twitter.com/TsundereRager/status/595564852501999616

6) Feminists think they are equal to men, even though they sometimes need to have things repaired

https://twitter.com/voteforcantwell/status/595690322908344323

7) Feminists for some weird reason think that rape is bad even though they’re so ugly no one would even want to rape them

https://twitter.com/MARTYM0NDAYS/status/595747350083203074

https://twitter.com/olearyos/status/595789379534196736

https://twitter.com/naughty_nerdess/status/595881432196714496

8) Feminists aren’t real women, possibly because they don’t like Hitler enough

https://twitter.com/rentrikin/status/595648628116606977

https://twitter.com/ThatFoxyShadow/status/595726000987742208

9) They have kept alive by men for all of human life and still are with male taxes.In 40years of feminism only assault men

https://twitter.com/Sizzle75Ian/status/595856408651902979

10) Whatever the hell is going on here

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sunnysombrera
9 years ago

@estraven
That’s because the backbone of the MRM is perceived injustice. Never do they ever stop to consider how maybe it’s something they’ve done that’s caused them their troubles, or maybe it was just bad luck, and instead seek to blame something/someone for their discomfort. They’ve chosen women/feminists (the two words are used interchangeably) and they’re not letting go. They feel that a restoration of male privilege as it once was is the only thing that will make them happy, and that kind of thinking is the bubble they try to stay in at any cost.

Dvärghundspossen
9 years ago

Seconding Buttercup, plus what on Earth has toxic masculinity got to do with being able to repair stuff?”. Like… I’m crap with computers, so if something’s wrong with mine I just ask the IT guy at work. But how does that make me a hypocrite? When did a feminist ever say that knowing computers is a trait that men shouldn’t have?

Does he believe that “everything that’s ever been associated primarily with men”=”toxic masculinity and something feminists want to get rid of”?

dhag85
dhag85
9 years ago

I went to the AVfM Facebook page. Scrolled down and saw a headline: “Tsongas bill looks to protect male victims of military sex assault”

First comment: “Better question is how many feminists will oppose it?”

They really believe feminists want to rape men? I don’t really understand this narrative (as usual).

dhag85
dhag85
9 years ago

Everybody knows feminists oppose toxic car repair skills.

Flora
Flora
9 years ago

These guys are trying to spot chickadees by looking for griffins. I guess they both have wings, but the similarities end there…

sparky
sparky
9 years ago

This proves two things:

1. Feminism is both highly relevant and highly needed. (“They find no humor in rape.” Seriously? What kind of vicious, inhuman asshole does?)

2. Anti-feminists have no actual arguments. They don’t appear to understand what an actual logical, well-reasoned argument is. “You’re fat and ugly and smelly!” isn’t a counter-argument to anything. “You’re not a nazi!” is actually a compliment.

lkeke35
lkeke35
9 years ago

Dhag85; it simply doesn’t even occur to them that the vast majority of sexual assault on men…is by men, even in the military. Apparently its difficult for them to wrap their head around that idea.

Aunt Edna
Aunt Edna
9 years ago

This may be a good opportunity to remind people (though not necessarily the commenters on this blog who need no such reminders) of this oldie but goodie:

11 Signs You Might Be an MRA:
http://freethoughtblogs.com/lousycanuck/2013/02/22/11-signs-you-might-be-an-mra/

lkeke35
lkeke35
9 years ago

And c’mon! Look at those screen names. You can automatically dismiss a person whose screen name is simply the name of a veneral disease or just Hitler or Mao. That is a person who has nothing of import or intelligence to say about any topic.

Mizuki
Mizuki
9 years ago

So what happens when a feminist takes a shower? Does he or she suddenly not become a feminist? Am I currently not a feminist as I just showered? Or does it only happen if she removes a significant chunk of her natural body hair and put on a significant chunk of unnatural make-up?

Also did not know that strength=rights. I don’t remember having to lift weighs when I registered to vote.

Aunt Edna
Aunt Edna
9 years ago

In related news, Elle magazine this month features Charlize Theron on its cover and beyond with a caption “Hollywood’s most fearless feminist,” totally confirming the Misogynist Rape Advocates’ stereotype of what feminists look like:
http://www.elleuk.com/

Arctic Ape
Arctic Ape
9 years ago

Dvärghundspossen:

Does he believe that “everything that’s ever been associated primarily with men”=”toxic masculinity and something feminists want to get rid of”?

The first tweet in section (6) strongly implies that men are justly privileged over women because they generally can repair some stuff, whereas women generally can’t. I understand that’s pretty close to the cultural core of toxic masculinity.

Earl
Earl
9 years ago

Soooooooo many new people to block. And according to the bio of one of them, I’m a coward for doing so. No, it’s more like I just don’t ever want to hear your bullshit ever again, thank you very much.

proxieme
proxieme
9 years ago

Sunny – They sure are a bunch of class acts.
I especially enjoyed the one guy (not going back to check his name) who threw out a salad of only loosely associated SAT words to tell the commenter that her assertion that marriage is about love “shows her contempt for men”.

Kay there, buddy.

Retrobitch
Retrobitch
9 years ago

I’ve seen my share of misogyny over the years but never witnessed such vocalization as I have over the past 14 months over the internet. There’s been a veritable avalanche of hatred of the most vicious kind. It’s scary to realize just how many screwed up people there are -men and women alike. The nasty comments from the men on that hashtag, and especially the antisemitism and hypersexual insults on female genitalia, are appalling. But what truly bothers me is to see actual women join in support of misogyny and post negative things and/or “like” and “retweet” foul, hateful tweets. I saw one that read: (HTSAF)…”One who hates having her period because they don’t make a tampon big enough for her fat ass.” (checked account/real woman posted it) I mean, wtf? Wow.

I just can’t understand that other than knowing that misogyny isn’t just for men. For every jackass who posts such hateful crap there’s a self-loathing woman who thinks it’s funny.

Swales
Swales
9 years ago

Re: Car maintenance being a Man Thing/gotcha for feminists: But when my car broke down and I asked my dad how to fix it, he said I should call triple-A like he always does, and they sent us a lady towtruck driver?? Are we doing it wrong?

M.
M.
9 years ago

I wonder how many of these manly men’s men flexing their e-biceps about fixing computers and changing tyres have ever built a computer or built a car. Because I have. Does that mean I’m not a feminist anymore? Or does it not count, since I’m gay and haha bulldyke lulz?

(Of course, I don’t think actually think that building/not building computers or cars makes anybody more/less manly, I’m just saying these guys are twits.)

tedthefed
tedthefed
9 years ago

“Pro choice and anti-death penalty” could be the worst attempt at a meaningless internet gotcha I’ve ever seen.

M.
M.
9 years ago

”One who hates having her period because they don’t make a tampon big enough for her fat ass.” (checked account/real woman posted it) I mean, wtf? Wow.

That might very well be a new low in health class/sex ed failures.

keshkirshkinra
9 years ago

See feminists do want to take power away from men. Assuming the power the men have is belittling and dehumanizing women, and lets be honest, that is the only power some of these men have.

zoon echon logon
zoon echon logon
9 years ago

@Dvärghundspossen

Seconding Buttercup, plus what on Earth has toxic masculinity got to do with being able to repair stuff?”. Like… I’m crap with computers, so if something’s wrong with mine I just ask the IT guy at work. But how does that make me a hypocrite? When did a feminist ever say that knowing computers is a trait that men shouldn’t have?

Does he believe that “everything that’s ever been associated primarily with men”=”toxic masculinity and something feminists want to get rid of”?

Feminists hate men and think they’re stupid and useless, but hypocritically rely on men to do jobs that they are paid for.

Checkmate, feminists!

weirwoodtreehugger
9 years ago

What is it with trolls and their love of the word fetid? Somebody once accused me of having a “fetid ham wallet” for daring to disagree with him.

Also it’s not feminists who want to classify everything as rape. Just the upset. It’s MRA guys who say things like “divorce rape”

Lids
9 years ago

In response to that tampon one, it really surprises me how little women (and people in our) know about vaginas. One, I’m fat but uh I wear the lowest absorbent tampon available because I have a narrow vaginal channel and a light flow. My friend who has been severely underweight her entire life can’t use tampons because she has two vaginal channels but she used to wear the biggest extra absorbency one because she bleeds A LOT (she also has two uteruses). The point being one, weight doesn’t determine how “big” your vaginal canal is, and two, TAMPONS ARE WORN FOR ABSORBENCY NOT VAGINAL SIZE SHEESH. They do get bigger (which can be uncomfortable if you have a narrow canal because the scratchy material chafes the walls, at least for me) because the more blood the more material you need to absorb it.

Moggie
Moggie
9 years ago

Buttercup Q. Skullpants:

If not being able to replace a brake caliper is a sign of weakness, then this dude is just as weak and helpless as the rest of us who don’t own hydraulic lifts and $400 Bluetooth code readers.

Sigh, I thought we’d made this clear. Most mechanics are men, and when you’re a dude you automatically get dude points for the achievements of other dudes, because reasons. The writer would probably call a professional even for a flat tyre, but in days of old he would totally have done all his own maintenance (when not being a warrior), so that counts.

(I actually drive a car made in 1970, and used to do a lot of my own maintenance. But these days I’m just too tired to bother with that shit, so I mostly leave it to professionals. I genuinely feel guilty about that, you know? Like I need to hand in my dude card? Car patriarchy hurts men too)

Lids
9 years ago

*(or people in general)
*ABSORBENCY not absorbent

I hate my stupid phone.