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The top 10 shocking “truths” about feminism I’ve learned from #HowToSpotAFeminist

That is a lot of tweeting.
That is a lot of tweeting.

So have you been following this whole  thing on the Tweeter? The hashtag was started a couple of days ago by some right-wing radio dudes as an excuse to say mean things about feminism. By yesterday it had turned into a monster, with some feminists jumping in to try to combat the forces of darkness; as I write this at 7:28 AM Wednesday it’s still going strong.

Happily, the hashtag is proving to be very educational. So I would like to share with you The top 10 shocking “truths” about feminism I’ve learned from #HowToSpotAFeminist. You may want to take notes, as some of them are truly shocking indeed.

1) Feminists are fat and ugly with stinky, hairy armpits and no one likes them

https://twitter.com/TechEFX/status/595634992702685184

https://twitter.com/Sgt_Bravo/status/595770240291733506

https://twitter.com/SaltyCon/status/595698771264217090

https://twitter.com/gardenofthegods/status/595746816307630083

https://twitter.com/Mikkjr/status/595777294377078784

https://twitter.com/Hello_Meow/status/595793317100658688

https://twitter.com/JeremySteyer/status/595757786627186689

https://twitter.com/jokeocracy/status/595620011567390721

Oh, wait, I think that last one is a ringer.

2) Feminists have smelly vaginas that may contain sand, cobwebs

https://twitter.com/BizarroGodzilla/status/595656206947069952

https://twitter.com/Your_in_nation/status/595828853009993728

https://twitter.com/ComputerThug/status/595604888362590208

3) These ugly, fat, hairy, feminists with stinky armpits and cobweb-filled vaginas sometimes resort to ad hominem instead of serious man logic

https://twitter.com/Sizzle75Ian/status/595854364859887617

https://twitter.com/HeroOfCanton42/status/595821728259055617

https://twitter.com/ABurntTVDinner/status/595756421314129922

4) Feminists are Jews, or they’re controlled by Jews, or, I dunno, something to do with Jews

https://twitter.com/CapitalistMao/status/595752677163847681

https://twitter.com/AntiRHitler/status/595843351200571393

https://twitter.com/QuantumBios/status/595718068095025153

https://twitter.com/ReddFields/status/595859969783762944

jewslose

5) Feminists don’t know what “real feminism” is, and need to have some doofus on the internet who refers to women as “cumsluts” explain it to them

https://twitter.com/CartoonRage/status/595858534690136064

https://twitter.com/TsundereRager/status/595564852501999616

6) Feminists think they are equal to men, even though they sometimes need to have things repaired

https://twitter.com/voteforcantwell/status/595690322908344323

7) Feminists for some weird reason think that rape is bad even though they’re so ugly no one would even want to rape them

https://twitter.com/MARTYM0NDAYS/status/595747350083203074

https://twitter.com/olearyos/status/595789379534196736

https://twitter.com/naughty_nerdess/status/595881432196714496

8) Feminists aren’t real women, possibly because they don’t like Hitler enough

https://twitter.com/rentrikin/status/595648628116606977

https://twitter.com/ThatFoxyShadow/status/595726000987742208

9) They have kept alive by men for all of human life and still are with male taxes.In 40years of feminism only assault men

https://twitter.com/Sizzle75Ian/status/595856408651902979

10) Whatever the hell is going on here

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potterchik
potterchik
9 years ago

These dudes are not very good at spotting feminists.

freemage
freemage
9 years ago

I got to number two or three and it all became just a very unpleasant blur. Did kind of sit up for the anti-Semitism, though.

Tulgey Logger
Tulgey Logger
9 years ago

They have kept alive by men for all of human life and still are with male taxes.In 40years of feminism only assault men

lynseywhite
9 years ago

Thanks for the handy list of people never to follow on twitter.

sunnysombrera
9 years ago

I keep hearing MRAs say that feminists want to classify everything as rape, and it’s obvious bullshit, but where the hell are they getting this idea from? Is it deliberate delusional exaggeration that they now believe themselves? Like when “Yes Means Yes” rolled around they were going “omg now we need to sign sex contracts!!11”

It’s likely that they refuse to see actual rape as rape, and think that feminists are just making a fuss. It’s not like there’s anything wrong with getting a girl so drunk she can’t say no, and then taking her back to your place, amirite lads?

M.
M.
9 years ago

Hmm. To be a feminist or to froth about how great Hitler is under names like “Leader of ISIS”… With tough choices like that, it’s no surprise that feminism is seen as a bad thing. [/keyboard-melting levels of acidic sarcasm]

M.
M.
9 years ago

She says no when I ask if I can smell her vagina.

http://i.imgur.com/2hZQkx3.jpg

General Star Cat (@Gannon_Shepherd)

According to one of those tweets the leader of ISIS lives in Alabama….How surprising.

damechou
damechou
9 years ago

I’m kind of shocked and deeply saddened by the women participating in this travesty.

Ellesar
Ellesar
9 years ago

Well, I read all the rage and hate and how we are REALLY SMELLY (!?), and when it was getting too depressing had to LOL at “USES SHAMING TACTICS INSTEAD OF REASONED ARGUMENTS”!
Cos the fat ugly smelly stuff isn’t shaming, and are TOTES reasoned!

And I am very pleased to see that neo Nazis are anti feminist – this is the way it should be!

Spindrift
Spindrift
9 years ago

“I’m kind of shocked and deeply saddened by the women participating in this travesty.”

Kind of wonder how many of them really are women. Though there’s probably at least a few.

broadwayjed
9 years ago

@M. I never comment here (long time reader) but I had to break my silence to applaud that PERFECT use of Multiple Miggs <3

Also your avatar is GLaDOS, so I basically love you.

Orion
Orion
9 years ago

@SunnySombrera: MRA’s get this idea from the book “Intercourse” by Andrea Dworkin which has a quote usually mangled as “all sex is rape”. The quote is in fact “Intercourse is the pure, sterile, formal expression of men’s contempt for women,” in context this is about the issues with Pornography displaying sex as inherently the conquest of women.

Dworkin never argues that all sex is rape. But MRA’s, continuing a long tradition of hating the works of people they’ve made no effort to read, research or even understand at a basic level, hear the one quote “all sex is rape” attributed to Dworkin (I think Cathy Young is the actual origin) and then declare all Feminists to believe this.

This is then reinforced by them believing lots of things to not be rape or sexually inappropriate being called out as such. Because they’re dense.

It’s pretty much the same as their notions about Marxism, Judaism, MLK, Free Speech, Nazism, Critical Race theory etc: A lot of half-heard crap they regurgitated into vomit.

Nequam
Nequam
9 years ago
isidore13
isidore13
9 years ago

Omg I think I understand the smelly thing! These are the type of men who only perform basic hygiene to pull women, and they think that everyone feels that way, and so QED feminists MUST be smelly because why clean up if you don’t care about attracting men?

odaran
odaran
9 years ago

Bizarro senses a smell.
He wants to smell a vulva.
He is not allowed to smell the vulva.
He decides that what he sensed was feet.

Does anyone have an explanation for what this all could mean?

Mij
Mij
9 years ago

Didn’t Catharine MacKinnon say that within the context of traditional heterosexual relationships sex was rape?

I know that there’s a lot more explanatory context to that particular comment but I was wondering if I overall idea correct.

Spindrift
Spindrift
9 years ago

@odaran

Think he meant it in the sense of “is that your vagina I smell?”
But he didn’t phrase it very well, so it’s hard to be sure.

isidore13
isidore13
9 years ago

@mij, no, but that quote is often falsely attributed to her. http://en.m.wikiquote.org/wiki/Catharine_MacKinnon

freemage
freemage
9 years ago

Mij: Nope. http://www.snopes.com/quotes/mackinnon.asp

The article explains both MacKinnon’s and Dworkin’s statements on the subject.

sunnysombrera
9 years ago

On a slight tangent, you know how we keep saying that MRAs have no concept of love? They can’t understand that couples get together for reasons other than sex/money?

Read the first comment under this Facebook post of theirs and see how they react when someone says that marriage is not about sex but about unconditional love. Holy shit, it’s like showing a crucifix to a vampire. You can practically see them writhing in their seats and screaming.

https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=816157845106365&id=102001393188684

Selt
Selt
9 years ago

Dammit Shaenon, stop making me break into laughter on public.

estraven
estraven
9 years ago

Wow, that is a lot of hate there. All my closest friends are feminists, most are married and have kids and grandkids, and none of them to this point have ever smelled or braided their armpit hair. That stuff about rape really bothers me, because rape isn’t about being so aroused by female beauty that the rapist just can’t help himself. Rape is about dominance and power. Also I think women have kept the human race alive by giving birth and caring for children. It’s an amazing amount of hatred that can even spew stuff like this.

Xenophone
Xenophone
9 years ago

Why are JesusFreaks so butthurt about j00z these days? It’s not our fault that our religion works and there’s doesn’t! 😉

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
9 years ago

“She can’t fix a computer, change a tire, or lift more than 40 lbs…”

Oh, FFS. I can do all three, and I’m a feminist. I’d love to see this guy try to hoist two squirming, tantruming 40-lb preschoolers, carry them across a parking lot, and stuff them into a car seat, while also schlepping a purse, two lunch bags, two bags of nap blankets, a huge bag of clothes, and miscellaneous loosely glued pasta art projects.

“…has her car towed to the mechanic when it breaks down”

I’d confidently bet a thousand dollars that these guys also run whimpering to the mechanic when their car breaks down. Maybe back in the ’70s, it was possible for the average grease monkey to do simple maintenance in the driveway with a repair manual and a few easily available tools, but the days of DIY are long gone. Modern-day cars are full of sophisticated electronics, specialized parts, and wiring, some of which require expensive computers and high-tech machinery to diagnose and repair. Even starting your own garage is prohibitively expensive now, due to the start-up costs of buying all the specialized tools and equipment. If not being able to replace a brake caliper is a sign of weakness, then this dude is just as weak and helpless as the rest of us who don’t own hydraulic lifts and $400 Bluetooth code readers.

As for conservative women being hotter than left-wing women, um, hello: Hollywood.

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