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The top 10 shocking “truths” about feminism I’ve learned from #HowToSpotAFeminist

That is a lot of tweeting.
That is a lot of tweeting.

So have you been following this whole  thing on the Tweeter? The hashtag was started a couple of days ago by some right-wing radio dudes as an excuse to say mean things about feminism. By yesterday it had turned into a monster, with some feminists jumping in to try to combat the forces of darkness; as I write this at 7:28 AM Wednesday it’s still going strong.

Happily, the hashtag is proving to be very educational. So I would like to share with you The top 10 shocking “truths” about feminism I’ve learned from #HowToSpotAFeminist. You may want to take notes, as some of them are truly shocking indeed.

1) Feminists are fat and ugly with stinky, hairy armpits and no one likes them

https://twitter.com/TechEFX/status/595634992702685184

https://twitter.com/SaltyCon/status/595698771264217090

https://twitter.com/Mikkjr/status/595777294377078784

https://twitter.com/Hello_Meow/status/595793317100658688

https://twitter.com/JeremySteyer/status/595757786627186689

https://twitter.com/jokeocracy/status/595620011567390721

Oh, wait, I think that last one is a ringer.

2) Feminists have smelly vaginas that may contain sand, cobwebs

https://twitter.com/BizarroGodzilla/status/595656206947069952

https://twitter.com/Your_in_nation/status/595828853009993728

https://twitter.com/ComputerThug/status/595604888362590208

3) These ugly, fat, hairy, feminists with stinky armpits and cobweb-filled vaginas sometimes resort to ad hominem instead of serious man logic

https://twitter.com/Sizzle75Ian/status/595854364859887617

https://twitter.com/HeroOfCanton42/status/595821728259055617

https://twitter.com/ABurntTVDinner/status/595756421314129922

4) Feminists are Jews, or they’re controlled by Jews, or, I dunno, something to do with Jews

https://twitter.com/CapitalistMao/status/595752677163847681

https://twitter.com/AntiRHitler/status/595843351200571393

https://twitter.com/QuantumBios/status/595718068095025153

https://twitter.com/ReddFields/status/595859969783762944

jewslose

5) Feminists don’t know what “real feminism” is, and need to have some doofus on the internet who refers to women as “cumsluts” explain it to them

https://twitter.com/CartoonRage/status/595858534690136064

https://twitter.com/TsundereRager/status/595564852501999616

6) Feminists think they are equal to men, even though they sometimes need to have things repaired

https://twitter.com/voteforcantwell/status/595690322908344323

7) Feminists for some weird reason think that rape is bad even though they’re so ugly no one would even want to rape them

https://twitter.com/MARTYM0NDAYS/status/595747350083203074

8) Feminists aren’t real women, possibly because they don’t like Hitler enough

https://twitter.com/impossiblebones/status/595726459941081088

https://twitter.com/ThatFoxyShadow/status/595726000987742208

9) They have kept alive by men for all of human life and still are with male taxes.In 40years of feminism only assault men

https://twitter.com/Sizzle75Ian/status/595856408651902979

10) Whatever the hell is going on here

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megpie71
5 years ago

I’m tempted to point out to these guys that if they’re going to make themselves over into the living embodiment of any argument about “why vibrators are better than men”, they’re going to be paying the price in a lack of feminine attention. But I think they’ve already worked out the effect – their problem is they’re confused (or wilfully ignorant) as to the cause. Plus, of course, I’m a woman, so what would I know about important stuff like “what women like” and such?

Bina
Bina
5 years ago

I’m not worried about people being pro Nazi because nobody takes them seriously and they have no power so they’re not a threat. Not true of feminism.

O RLY? Last I looked, feminists didn’t build terrorist compounds in Idaho, Texas, etc. Neo-Nazis did. The only thing feminists are a threat to to that wall of idiotic shit you’ve built inside your head…which, quite frankly, deserves all the “threatening” it gets.

theluckyfrog
5 years ago

I think I’m a stealth feminist because whenever I start ranting about some women’s or gender issues (and I mean I RANT), the predominant reaction I get is some confused blinking and “I didn’t expect this from *you* of all people”.

I guess I throw people off because I dress very modest and feminine– people are always asking if I’m religious, far from it in fact– and because my default personality is giggly and somewhat demure. Men always compliment me on my personality, many even compliment me on my clothes. Then I’m all like SO X IS PISSING ME OFF AND HERE’S WHY and they’re just like… whoa.

I really enjoy disabusing people of their stereotypes in this manner.

Robert
Robert
5 years ago

Theluckyfrog – that sounds marvelous! Long may you disabuse.

Neurite
Neurite
5 years ago

I believe Lothar Hoat (of the “They find no humor in rape” tweet) has actually been unfairly included here. In the context of his Twitter, it seems clear that the implication is “because nobody should find humor in rape”.

He made that tweet as part of a sequence of other tweets about male feminists. Other tweets include “they are able to extend the same courtesy to all women as they do their Mothers, Sisters, Wives & GF’s,” “they don’t believe in the inherent superiority of one sex over another, they believe in equality & celebrate differences,” and “they adore women and admire their strength, intelligence and achievements”.

I find the phrasing he uses in some of his tweets (“as real men…”) a bit iffy, but it seems like his heart is definitely in the right place here.

Now as for the other scumbags… shudder.

Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
5 years ago

@Neurite

Now that I’ve seen their other Tweets (and kinda sat down and didn’t skim read it), I agree. That one should be removed.

weirwoodtreehugger
5 years ago

Good because that name is likely an ASOIAF reference and I want to think the best of fellow fans despite having encountered quite a few assholes on ASOIAF/GoT sites.

katz
5 years ago

Grr, I was messing with my WordPress stuff and now it’s being a butt.

Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
5 years ago

@WWTH

I really should read those books. I’ve only seen the first 3 seasons, too.

katz
5 years ago

Yeah, don’t worry about those comments. Stupid WordPress.

Spindrift
Spindrift
5 years ago

@the 4th survivor “Nobody thinks rape is funny except maybe people with mental illness.”

Ableism’s not going to help your case any here. Also, from what I’ve seen, plenty of people think rape (especially men being raped) is hilarious, and they don’t think that cause of mental illness or feminism.

Mikki
Mikki
5 years ago

Aww that sucks, one of those Nazi ladies is wearing milnjir, a Thor’s hammer. It’d great if we could celebrate our Norse heritage without being associated with damn neo nazi jerks. They kinda ruin it for the rest of us.

The average Stoic Sophist of today

“She can’t fix a computer, change a tire, or lift more than 40lbs, but she thinks she should be treated equally anyway”

Um, yeah, this exactly what feminists believe. Equality does not depend on your degree of skill at automotive maintenance.

proxieme
proxieme
5 years ago

The 4th said: “David was just kidding when he called anti feminists the force of darkness? I find that a little hard to believe.”

In fairness, even if he wasn’t engaging in hyperbole, a pretty healthy segment of anti-feminists align with a movement that’s labeled itself “The Dark Enlightenment”, so…
…There’s that.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants

She says no when I ask if I can smell her vagina.

Whereas anti-feminists will always say yes to this request? How is this supposed to be a distinguishing field mark of feminists?

The hashtag on that tweet should be more like “How to spot a woman with working creepdar.” Or “How to spot a woman who is going to reject you anyway before you even talk to her so you might as well neg her first with crude, unoriginal middle school gotchas.”

@the4thsurvivor – sure, nobody thinks rape is funny. Except for the person who tweeted the glass joke. And all the “feminists are too ugly to rape hurr hurr” tweets. And all the people above who minimize it, as if the whole thing is one giant joke – “oh, there go those feminists, whining about rape again, nobody take them seriously”.

And yes, anti-feminists are the forces of darkness. They lie, they harass, they doxx, they drive people from their homes. They post revenge porn and get people fired from their jobs. They steal logos, disrupt conventions, prank people for the lulz, divert funds from charitable organizations that are trying to do good in the world. They swarm the comment section of every article even tangentially related to gender politics, and smother honest discourse with nasty attacks on feminists and teal deers about how much the world should be catering to their boners. They’re trying to drive women out of gaming and comics and STEM and professional sports and even the internet. They give each other tips for manipulating and breaking down women so they’ll be obedient sex dispensers. They think unbangable women (over 25, over 150 lbs., short hair, tattoos, does not meet approved jawline algorithm, occasionally opens mouth to speak, etc.) should be shamed, punished, or invisible. Even the less vicious anti-feminists earn massive bro points by posturing as supervillains and competing to see who can say the most offensive, outrageous things about women.

Any movement that does all this, that is fundamentally based on hatred and disrespect for half the human population, that wants to silence and stifle women’s voices and confine them to the bedroom and the kitchen, is a force of darkness. There is no love or compassion or light coming from anti feminists. Re-read these tweets. Notice the sneering tone and ugly, harsh, racist language. These people are bullies. They’re the bad guys. If you seriously can’t tell the difference, you need to get your moral compass checked.

sunnysombrera
5 years ago

This is the last I’m going to say on this but….

Bryce, my bad. I read “aren’t critical” instead of “aren’t uncritical.” I wouldn’t have made my post if I had grasped what you really meant.

sunnysombrera
5 years ago

And yes, anti-feminists are the forces of darkness. They lie, they harass, they doxx, they drive people from their homes. They post revenge porn and get people fired from their jobs. They steal logos, disrupt conventions, prank people for the lulz, divert funds from charitable organizations that are trying to do good in the world. They swarm the comment section of every article even tangentially related to gender politics, and smother honest discourse with nasty attacks on feminists and teal deers about how much the world should be catering to their boners. They’re trying to drive women out of gaming and comics and STEM and professional sports and even the internet. They give each other tips for manipulating and breaking down women so they’ll be obedient sex dispensers. They think unbangable women (over 25, over 150 lbs., short hair, tattoos, does not meet approved jawline algorithm, occasionally opens mouth to speak, etc.) should be shamed, punished, or invisible. Even the less vicious anti-feminists earn massive bro points by posturing as supervillains and competing to see who can say the most offensive, outrageous things about women.

Yup. They then turn around and claim that they don’t hate women, only feminism.

Uh huh sure.

Lea
Lea
5 years ago

If being hairy makes a person stink, what do these men think they smell like?

I notice that a female body unaltered with razors, diets, paint, perfume etc is ugly to them and “ugly” is the worst insult they think they can pay women.
o.0
They really do think everything is about their cocks, don’t they? I feel sorry for any women who have the misfortune to date one of these scumsuckers.
(My apologies to plecostomus everywhere.)

Lea
Lea
5 years ago

Ablism, sexism and excuses for why Nazis are OK.
4th, you are the perfect manospherean.
You’re frustrated, confused, ignorant, hateful and think much too highly of your weak attempts at arguments. Did they create you in a lab or are you just another wonder of nature?

Dawn Incognito
Dawn Incognito
5 years ago

Oh, I forgot to ask: David, where is that .gif in the main article from? Because it is uncannily like my ex, whose favourite pastime seemed to be typing loudly at people on the internet.

Spindrift
Spindrift
5 years ago

@Dawn

Looks like David Mitchel, so I’d guess “the mitchel and webb look”.

JocTheWriter
5 years ago

It’s time for these types to get over body hair. There’s a problem and it is not women who decide to not shave.

Also, ugly? Smelly? Did these enlightened individuals ever evolve beyond grade school?

shannon
shannon
5 years ago

Huh… well I’m a feminist. I also have been raped 4 times, so clearly someone(s) wanted to. And I’m poly, so my vagina sees plenty of use. And my boyfriend — a combat veteran Marine — will be surprised to find that him calling to have his car towed to mechanic this morning makes him a woman.

fruitloopsie
fruitloopsie
5 years ago

So what if we are ugly, smelly and fat? Who cares, does that mean that we are nobody, less than human because we are unattractive and that we don’t matter? Same garbage different day anti feminists proving that their nothing but misognist, rape-advocating, stupid, hypocritical, creepy, obsessive vagina smelling, terriorists just like always.

Shannon
I’m sorry hugs if you want them.

Lynn
Lynn
5 years ago

Ah yes, feminists are ugly, ugly, ugly….. I’ve heard it all before. I guess wanting women to be treated better and not like sex objects is a crime against humanity.

cool
cool
5 years ago

I have no idea where the ‘feminists smell bad’ argument came from, but alright

Virgin Mary
Virgin Mary
4 years ago

Neck beards who live on chips and pot noodles and sit in their mums basement drinking beer and smoking weed wrapped in their Star Wars sleeping bag in their pants jacking off to porn all day smell bad, what about shaming them?

VioletBeauregarde
VioletBeauregarde
4 years ago

Hmmm…let’s see:
-I’m not fat
-I’m even less ugly
-I’m not smelly, considering that I am wearing clinical strength deodorant
-I can lift over 40 pounds
-I do have Jewish in me (one of my great-grandmothers was a German Jew)
-My body hair is barely peach fuzz
-I don’t presently know how to but I could learn to fix a computer or a flat tire
-I have long, straightish, red (copper in shade) hair…hardly Jewish style
They probably would mistake me for a non-feminist, till I start talking…oh, and bonus points, my voice is fairly low-pitched for a woman.