So over on the Ask The Red Pill subreddit, one fellow had an unusual question: what to do about a girlfriend who is “TOO GOOD. TOO PERFECT” for him.
It’s starting to get to a point where i’m disgusted with how much she loves me, and how dedicated she is to me. She’s no longer a challange, and i’ve been considering leaving her.
One Red Piller with something of a philosophical bent offered him a rather unique perspective on his dilemma:
Well, that’s one way of looking at it, I guess.
H/T — r/TheBluePill
Well I guess it’s a change from all the usual crap about women as aloof spoiled princesses who never giving average men chances.
This is what happens when guys who don’t/won’t/can’t see a partner as anything more than a source of entertainment and validation. They’ll never appreciate what they have because it was never about ‘her’ to begin with but their own insecurities and self loathing.
If someone did that to me I would immediately think “potential sex trafficker” and hand the card to the cops.
The guy in the OP could be legitimately bored with his girlfriend. Someone can be wonderful on paper and still not be right for you in practice. It happens. Shit, Teenaged Me was dumped a few times for being boring or too nice. It’s okay to want out of a relationship for any reason. What’s not okay is treating someone like garbage for your own fulfillment (or in the hopes that they’ll leave and save you the breakup unpleasantness – been the victim of that one myself).
That makes the situation even sadder to me. I’ve been an immature jerk in relationships (things went to pot with my first college boyfriend mainly because I just REFUSED to talk about important stuff because I was sure things would just sort themselves out sooner or later). The last thing I needed when I was sorting out my shit was an echo chamber of fellow immature jerks to tell me that my SO was only valuable for their utility to me and that all of my most selfish impulses were correct.
Amen to that. And while you’re doing awesome things, you will meet people who compare sharing your time and attention with winning the lottery, not having a bowel movement. Go forth and prosper, sweet woman!
If she leaves him he’ll be on there just as fast to describe her as a heartless harpy who used him and left him to slut it up with bad boys.
Thinking of being married to or having kids with a man like that makes me sad. He’ll never love anyone, not even himself. Then when he is left alone, he will blame the world and everyone in it. He’ll be the 40 something redpiller telling the youngins to hate women. The circle of sad assholes will continue.
These Red pill freaks need have a tattoo of a red pill on their person. That way women can stay away from drama if that’s not their thing.
I’ve been dealing with this BS for the last 24 years.
In the process of writing Dr.Phil a letter. Going public on National TV seems like the only way to live in peace.
@baroncognito:
Does watching all three seasons of classic Star Trek more than once count?
“Suddenly I remember why I call you ‘Number One’…”
This guy clearly hates himself and can’t understand why someone else would love him. It’s kind of sad, really.
@Jurgan:
You are not the first one to express this belief, but I’d like to point out that there is no indication that this young man hates himself. There is nothing in his letter to his RP online buddies that would suggest so.
What he writes paints a picture of a selfish, entitled, and spoiled young jerk. It is not that he believes he does not deserve love; on the contrary — he fully expects it; and now, having secured it, is bored by it, disrespects it, and is ready to discard it in favor of a new chase and “challenge.”*
He sounds incapable of love, maybe permanently so, but not self-hating. If anything, he’s self-loving a tad much.
*And with karma being what it is, may he get what he asks for.
For as much as these dudes bemoan the miserable lot of the NiceGuy(TM), you’d think they’d ease up a bit on Nice Girls.
But nope, of course not, because women are totes weird and have different rules due to not really counting as people. :/
What this guy’s girlfriend is doing does not sound like love at all to me. It sounds like a desperate need to please a manipulative, cold person. A survival mechanism, even.
Meanwhile, he has lost respect for her precisely because she is now the kind of woman terpers want to make of all women. She has sacrificed her dignity and self respect, so she’s not interesting to him anymore.
Sounds like this guy and his girlfriend would both be much happier with themselves and their relationship if they became feminists.
@cassiopeia:
A big yes to that.
What he’s found out, even though he cannot understand or articulate it (in large part because the redpillian cult indoctrination prevents him from doing so), is that one cannot be genuinely happy in a relationship with a doormat. Redpillians desire doormat qualities in women and reduce them to as much in relationships, and this is one result they get.
If, god forbid, this relationship were to survive any longer, it would be a nightmare of increasing abuse and misery for her. I hope she’s out and far away from this individual.
I don’t know, but I do know it’s as old as the hills. Certainly older than any Red Pillock forum on the Internet. Like I said earlier, I dated this guy…or someone just like him. Honestly, you date one misodge, you’ve dated them all. They are all, basically, just one guy, and a real shithead he is, too.
Anyhow: The thing that made me want to stick with this guy was not his unpredictable bouts of shittiness, but the niceness that came in between. The less there was of it, the more I wondered what the hell was wrong with him…and ME, for dating him. Couldn’t he do better than that? Couldn’t I do better than him? Being dumped was, honestly, the best thing that ever happened to me, as far as he was concerned, because it freed me to actually do better. And when he called again, two years later, I cheerfully and truthfully told him there was someone else now. He wasn’t happy.
But I was. Especially to hear the drop in his voice when he said “Oh.” Congratulations, proto-Pillock…you are your own worst enemy!
@Bina “They are all, basically, just one guy, and a real shithead he is, too. ”
Reminded me of this video.
@Bina:
LMAO here at misodge and proto-Pillock. You have a way with words.
What you described is the common dynamic at work in abusive relationships: a woman (or a man sometimes) sticks around for those rare moments of happiness, often believing that they can and should help their mate fight whatever inner demons possess them during the not-so-rare and increasing abusive episodes. In the process, however, they lose their perspective on reality, their health and peace of mind, and too often their life.
There is a recent excellent (Pulitzer-winning, no less, for 2015) report on domestic violence in SC Post and Courier, “Till Death Do Us Part:” http://www.postandcourier.com/tilldeath/title.html
It is eye-opening and heartbreaking, but a must read, IMO (with warnings of violence and cruelty attached) for everyone.
Ugh, I think I’ve had a run-in with THAT guy, too.
And to think some people wonder why I’m not into older men. Yeah, me too. Me too.
OMG, that video. That explains it all! He’s a Lizard Person from Planet Xenon! Suddenly it all makes sense!
And yeah, I think I dated a couple of those shapeshifters. The drinking-problem one sounds familiar, as does the noncommitter. Luckily, I shape-shifted out of those patterns. Better alone than in bad company, as the saying goes.
PS: Aunt Edna, thanks. Luckily, this guy wasn’t a physical abuser, but he sure did yoink me around mentally for the two months I dated him. Bleah. NEXT!
It’s really just psych 101 stuff. Intermittent conditioning. When a reward (in this case the abusive partner being kind or romantic) sometimes occurs and sometimes doesn’t when the abused partner performs a conditioned behavior (in this case appeasing the abuser), the conditioned behavior will be performed even after the reward stops coming. I think this explains why people stay with shitty partners longer than they should. Red pillers probably think they’re immune to conditioning and it’s only weak feeemales who can be, but no.
Y’know, I really do hope this guy’s girlfriend dumps HIM. And never takes him back. And then, the next one…I hope she’s a Rules Fool who jerks him around like there’s no leash short enough. Let’s see how much he enjoys a “challange” (sic) when it’s dialed up to 11!
@Aunt Edna – I don’t know if I should’ve laughed at anything in the link you posted, but it did amuse me that someone thought the “romantic hero” of 50 Shades of Grey was DORIAN Gray.
http://s188.photobucket.com/component/Download-File?file=%2Falbums%2Fz284%2Foblongman7%2FScrubs%2Fb6488ee3.gif
These red pillers are so miserable and they want everyone else to be miserable too. I hope that woman leaves and finds someone better.
Hugs and kisses for everyone who’s been in a bad relationship.
Oh sweet lord, this is so… WOW… no words, no words…
Please don’t ever let me turn into a Red Piller. I don’t wish to become that horrible a person.