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no trolls allowed off topic open thread

Open Thread for Personal Stuff: May 2015 Dinosaurs Are Ruining My Life Edition

Those pesky dinosaurs!
Those pesky dinosaurs!

An open thread for personal stuff, continued from here. As always: No trolls, no MRAs/PUAs/MGTOWs/dinosaurs etc, be nice. Email the mods/me if shit gets weird.

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Stegosaurus (@ShiraMK)

You’re being so hurtful right now smh.

Stegosaurus (@ShiraMK)

Shit, I didn’t know changing my name would actually filter me. It’s still the same twitter account!

autosoma
5 years ago

I got a job last week after being a stay at home dad for nearly two years, my wife us getting better after having a breakdown a couple of weeks a go and us settling into bring a stay at home mum and her childhood abuser died this week too, which seemed to raise a cloud from her oh and my job is 75% work from home do I can support her too in case she;s not feeling well. I’m starting to feel content, I hope others of you are feeling content too

Nequam
Nequam
5 years ago

I am making slow progress on the cover for my latest book project. Book leather (probably vinyl) and homemade book cloth are much more persnickety than the professional-made cloth and paper I usually work with. For some reason I had a mild anxiety issue over how it’s coming out, so I’m trying to just leave it aside for now.

fruitloopsie
fruitloopsie
5 years ago

Autosoma and nequam
Hope everything works out for you guys

Me, my cousin let me drive her car a little, she wanted me to pass my drivers test and Iv been on anti-depressants for a couple of months now and still no change my family really wants me to get off of them other than that nothing much is happening right now.

Falconer
5 years ago

Beloved’s getting griefed by creepers in Minecraft.

Both of the babies are asleep, although in a few hours my daughter will get up and come crawl into bed with me, where she will sleep all night and wake up and whine if I try to put her in her cot or her crib. I don’t mind except she lies on my arm, and really keeps me from shifting in my sleep, so my arm is sore every morning.

Also they really need to start putting themselves to sleep and sleeping all night long in their own beds.

I hope everything will work out for everyone else, and I’m putting hugs and tiny toddler kisses in the barrel.

Dawn Incognito
Dawn Incognito
5 years ago

Should I do a trigger warning for nonspecific mention of self-harm? If so this is it.

I did not hurt myself today even though a bunch of things went wrong (not particularly anyone’s fault, just stuff going wrong) and I didn’t feel like I handled them well. I was really upset and my chest hurt a LOT but I just did my best to breathe through it. I went for a walk and took my as-needed anti-anxiety medication instead.

I should be proud of myself. But I’m not in particular because I still have faint bruises from a stressful situation on Tuesday that I coped with poorly.

I hate feeling like I’m wrong or making a fool of myself all the time. I wish I could just be invisible. But I keep trying to interact with other people because isolating is worse. And then I beat myself up afterwards. Rinse and repeat until I go into silent mode for awhile.

*sigh*

Thanks for letting me get this out.

fruitloopsie
fruitloopsie
5 years ago

Dawn
We’re here for you just let it out. It takes a lot of courage to speak up and we’re glad that you did. Please don’t harm yourself is there anything that you need? Let us know. And hugs if you want them.

because reasons
because reasons
5 years ago

@Dawn
I am very proud of you! (TW) I am a recovering(ed) self-harmer as well and i know how difficult is can be not to use that as a coping mechanism and to find alternate/healthier outlets. You did a wonderful job! And don’t worry about Tuesday’s episode. Remember how well you did with this most recent situation and look forward! ๐Ÿ™‚

I started a new job and this is my second week there. I like it-it’s the best place I’ve worked in probably 5 years. But there are some issues. I won’t get all into it, but I have chronic pain and was working PT for a few years (before that I was out of work for quite some time). This job is FT and I am doing it to get benefits (and I need the money)…and it’s killing my body. I’m in pain 24/7 and there’s really nothing I can do. And by that I mean that my options are very limited as it is and those I do have don’t help.
The other issue is that, while most of the people I work with (about 10) are very nice, in the short time I’ve been there I have heard remarks (from different folks) like: *Trigger warning for badness*
-“jew them down”, in reference to a coworker buying a stove
-“she’s crazy”, in reference to a patient calling with a legit concern about her anxiety meds
-“he’s gay”, in reference to a patient giving me a hard time
-“he’s a queen”, same patient giving me a hard time-this was my manager’s explanation for why he is such an asshole, as if that mas anything to do with it.
And there have been other comments too. Every time this happens I cringe and try to restrain my disgust, because I just started there and I need the job. It just blows my mind the level of sanctioned bigotry taking place. Ugh.

Dawn Incognito
Dawn Incognito
5 years ago

Thanks, fruitloopsie.

I’ve done a lot of harm reduction with regards to my self-injury behaviour, so I am in no danger of really hurting myself. I’m learning to ride the wave of the feelings instead of causing myself pain to lessen them. But it’s hard. It kind of is an addiction, which I would never have believed a few years ago. It’s a coping mechanism and it works. …with a lot of tradeoffs.

I’m actually about to do some chores and then reward myself with anime. (I’m really enjoying Samurai Flamenco, which is a parody of pretty much any tokusatsu show trope (like Kamen Rider and Super Sentai shows and magical girl shows). I’m ok.

Thanks again ๐Ÿ™‚

katz
5 years ago

Dawn, you may not feel proud of yourself, but we are proud of you! I award you this basket of kittens.

http://pbs.twimg.com/media/CD9PQlgVEAEMXI8.jpg

Machine Gun Sally
Machine Gun Sally
5 years ago

So, I am fairly new around here, but you all seem like a good bunch of people so I want to share something that has been stressing me out a bit lately.

I have been dating a fantastic woman who really lights up my life. It’s only a couple of months in, but has a lot of promise. I want her to be a real part of my life and introduce her to all the people who are important to me. This means that I will have to come out as pansexual (I’ve only been open about dating men and this is a fairly recent discovery about myself) and, since she is married, come out as polyamorous as well. I have been dating polyamorously for a few years, but nothing has ever gotten really serious.

I think my family will be OK with it – some of them are awesome and have known all along. I mostly worry about it being awkward and stressful telling my parents. I also worry because I work with kids, and I don’t know if misconceptions people have about polyamory will make work in my chosen field difficult.

Thanks for letting me get that out.

Also, I saw tons of baby geese at the lake today!! Dawn, and everyone else who needs some cute, these are for you (not my picture and I hope this works as I have no idea what I’m doing)comment image

Machine Gun Sally
Machine Gun Sally
5 years ago

Yay! It worked!

because reasons
because reasons
5 years ago
fruitloopsie
fruitloopsie
5 years ago

Dawn
I used to harm myself too so I know how you feel. And I’m glad you’re ok now.

I’m watching anime too I just finished Kara no Kyoukai it’s very beautiful but has gore in all episodes and rape in the very beginning of episode 3 So you can skip it I just watched it because I read that it had a male yandere in it. And now I’m watching Angel Beats it’s ok it’s a bit random and funny.

Machine Gun Sally
Thanks for opening up I wish I could help but I hardly have any experience with relationships so maybe someone around here can help you.
Did you get your welcome package? Scroll down and click on the candle.

childrenofthebroccoli
childrenofthebroccoli
5 years ago

I just got a new job working in a grocery store bottle return after nearly two years of being unemployed. It’s really nice having a paycheck again, and I like the work (even though it’s loud and sticky), but it’s taking a while for my body to adjust to doing manual labor 20+ hours a week after being a full-time couch potato for so long, and my feet and knees are killing me. Even my hands ache, which is kind of a weird feeling.

katz
5 years ago

They don’t have names yet, so feel free to furnish suggestions ๐Ÿ™‚

because reasons
because reasons
5 years ago

@katz
I want to call them Winky Blinky and Nod, but then there’d be an odd kitteh out. Same with Snap Crackle and Pop. Hmmm..whatever shall we do? This is a real pickle.

brooked
brooked
5 years ago

@Dawn

I struggle with anxiety and social phobia myself, so I have some idea how hard it is to feel good about any success you have with better coping strategies because you’re struggling with things that do a bang up job at making you feel shitty or ashamed. You should feel proud about any hard fought success against something you constantly struggle with, I second the basket of kittens.

(I apologize if any of this is projection on my part rather than empathy.)

Machine Gun Sally
Machine Gun Sally
5 years ago

@fruitloopsie – Thanks! I do so like scented candles ๐Ÿ™‚

@childrenofthebroccoli – Glad you found some work you enjoy! I found that standing on hard floors can be really hard on feet/knees just because of the shock. One place I worked had rubber mats to stand on and it helped a ton. Now I have a really thick pair of squishy insoles that are meant for people with back problems. They help a bunch and they cost me about $10.

childrenofthebroccoli
childrenofthebroccoli
5 years ago

@Because Reasons: We could name them John, Paul, George, and Ringo. They can be the fuzzy fab four!

@Machine Gun Sally: I might have to get some of those squishy insoles, the bottle room is all hard tile and concrete, so that’s probably a good bit of the problem.

because reasons
because reasons
5 years ago

@childrenofthebroccoli
Yes, of course! The answer was there all the while! lol As per your work stuff, I have a similar problem (going back to FT work after PT for a long time) but my pain comes from sitting at a desk and computer all day, using a phone and keyboard. Different kind of hurt, but my point is I empathize with you and I second the insole suggestion. ๐Ÿ™‚

Machine Gun Sally
Machine Gun Sally
5 years ago

@childrenofthebroccoli – Concrete is the worst! I just got mine at a pharmacy. I hope you find something that helps!

katz
5 years ago

The marmies are boys and the gray and tortie are girls, btw.

because reasons
because reasons
5 years ago

Ginger, MaryAnn, The Skipper and Gilligan? I got nothin.

Dawn Incognito
Dawn Incognito
5 years ago

Blinky, Inky, Pinky, and Clyde.

I love marmie boys. Every one I’ve known have been charmers. Even the shelter ones who had some personality problems.

Robert
Robert
5 years ago

Because Reasons – Athos, Porthos. Aramis and D’Artagnan.

Matthew, Mark, Luke and John.

Earth, Air, Fire and Water.

North, South, East and West.

Lemon, Lime, Grapefruit and Pommelo.

That’s all I got.

Childrenofthebroccoli – I second the rubber mat suggestion. I’ve got two in my kitchen – one in front of the sink, the other at the main counter. I wouldn’t want to do without them.

katz
5 years ago

Blinky, Inky, Pinky, and Clyde.

I had a family of hamsters named that!

Paradoxical Intention
5 years ago

I think my family might just smoosh my traditional birthday dinner with Mother’s Day dinner again like we did last year. Because it’s cheaper (but I don’t get to pick where we go. ; n ; )

And my aunt might just say that she didn’t get me a present because she paid for my new ID card, which I’m okay with. Money’s tight ’round here.

Mij
Mij
5 years ago

I had to have my 16 year cat put to sleep. She had stopped eating and was slowly wasting away before my eyes.

I miss her so very much. ๐Ÿ™

Machine Gun Sally
Machine Gun Sally
5 years ago

Aw Mij. I’m so sorry to hear that! Hugs if you’d like.

@Paradoxical – I know how you feel. My birthday is right around Christmas and so it usually gets eclipsed by the holidays in one way or another.

weirwoodtreehugger
5 years ago

Oh no Mij. I’m so sorry about the kitty. They tea are family members IMO.

Machine Gun Sally
Machine Gun Sally
5 years ago

Oh and Happy Birthday Paradoxical!!

Paradoxical Intention
5 years ago

Thanks for the birthday wishes, everyone!

And hugs for you Mij, if you want them. I know what it’s like to lose a pet, and it’s a terrible, terrible feeling.

contrapangloss
5 years ago

Happy belated birthday!

Also, adding hugs to the barrel for Mij; loosing a good old kitty is hard.

Practicals tomorrow, then a week to a month of waiting to be sure I’m not the first in the department’s history to not pass the state testing.

Also, just hung out with a good friend for a bit to unwind after the three written exams. She has to move out of student housing and fly out of town for the summer while I’m sequestered at practicals, but it was still the best way I could have spent the last 2 hours.

I’m grateful for interwebs.

To bed with me, now.

dhag85
5 years ago

I wasn’t prepared for the open thread for non-personal stuff and posted in the wrong thread by mistake. Just gonna paste my comment in here too, and hope it gets deleted from the other thread.

I finally got to start my remicade/IV treatment last week and have actually been feeling a lot better since then. Not sure if this is very powerful placebo effect or unexpectedly quick results, but Iโ€™m just gonna roll with it. Going in for 2nd treatment on Wednesday. It actually wasnโ€™t that bad. It was nice to have a few hours in a hospital bed, just catching up on old TV shows on my laptop. However, not having full use of my left arm was unsettling. Iโ€™ve never really put myself in that sort of position before, but I could tell on a bad day it might make me freak out.

Oh, and I also got a weird โ€œfinger straightenerโ€ contraption.

http://i374.photobucket.com/albums/oo188/dhag85/1c7fbb85-02a5-45ba-9cde-aa8c51a8e8a9_zpsqycrbujh.jpg

dhag85
5 years ago

I was meaning to ask, how many of us are Minecraft players? I wouldn’t mind more people on my current server. ๐Ÿ™‚

Luzbelitx
5 years ago

Hi everyone! Also, lots of hugs and kitties for those in need of them <3

I'm very happy today, I will be re-starting therapy (and probably with my excellent last therapist, yay!) soon, and I already began my appearances in the radio station belonging to Mothers of Plaza de Mayo!! I'll be on the air bi-weekly on Wednesday nights. My parents accepted to have my daughter at their home on those occasions.

Also, my host is a lovely and very sensitive man, with a very deep knowledge of Latin America and its existing inequalities, so we're having great conversations ๐Ÿ™‚

I still have very low moments in my life sometimes, but I feel I'm slowly digging myself out of the hole…

If anyone is curious (and/or speaks Spanish) here's the link to the playlist.

There’s only one audio at the moment, but I’ll be uploading future appearances ๐Ÿ™‚

dhag85
5 years ago

@Luzbelitx

Nice. ๐Ÿ™‚ Good luck with therapy and radio! I’ll definitely learn Spanish one day. :p

trendafilka
trendafilka
5 years ago

I am a new poster, long time lurker. This community is amazing, and I’ve loved you from behind the screen.

My father has been missing in Barrie ON since Thursday April 30, around 6pm. If you have places you can share these links, my family and I are extremely grateful.
http://barrie.ctvnews.ca/police-search-for-missing-barrie-man-1.2354587
http://www.thebarrieexaminer.com/2015/05/01/city-police-asking-for-publics-help

Friday, May 1, 2015 4:05:43 EDT PM
Barrie city police are requesting the publicโ€™s assistance in locating a man missing since Thursday evening.
Gordon McDowall, 62, was last seen on April 30 at 6:30 p.m. on Bayfield Street in Barrie.

City police are unaware what McDowall may have been wearing at the time he went missing. Family also have reported that this is not normal behaviour for McDowall and there are no pre-existing medical issues.

McDowall is white, stands 5’8โ€, weighs 180 pounds, has grey hair and hazel eyes. His vehicle is a white 2007, four-door Dodge Nitro, with Ontario licence plate BCWS 714.

Anyone with information is asked to contact the Barrie Police Service at 705-725-7025 or Crime Stoppers at 1-800-222-8477.

emcdowall
5 years ago

First time poster, long time lurker. This community is amazing, and I have loved you from behind the screen.
My dad has been missing since Thursday, April 30 around 6pm in Barrie ON. If you have places you can share these links, my family and I are extremely grateful.
http://www.thebarrieexaminer.com/2015/05/01/city-police-asking-for-publics-help
http://barrie.ctvnews.ca/police-search-for-missing-barrie-man-1.2354587

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
5 years ago

my new ID card

Eeek! Where do you live that requires one of those!?

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
5 years ago

A call to arms!

Hi Mammotheers, I wounder if you might be so kind as to assist me with something?

First a bit of background. An ex-military colleague and I are setting up a ‘Community Interest Company’ here in England. A CIC is a company that has a social purpose. Our aim is perhaps best illustrated by our CIC statement:

“To promote fitness and wellbeing through the provision of physical and mental challenge events; with particular emphasis on providing such services to women and young people”

We’re currently involved in Obstacle Course Racing (“OCR”) and military fitness bootcamps. What is interesting is that we have a majority women take-up. We want to expand on that. We’ve been liaising with various government organisations and NGOs.

We ‘re aiming to target people who want to do something to get fitter but are put off by the current options available.

So for instance, adult women may be put off joining a gym for two main reasons:

They don’t feel they’ll be able to do the level of work required.
They don’t want to be surrounded by girls in lycra showing off their abs, whilst they’re in a baggy t-shirt.

For younger girls there are similar reasons and also other factors (especially issues around competitiveness, they prefer something more cooperative).

Our plan is to use the OCR events as something to work towards. We’re playing down the race aspect. We’ll run them military style where you have to work as a team to complete them. We’ll also run bootcamps prior to the events train people for the races (we’ll have the bootcamps running in various locations)

In effect the OCRs are a means to an end. Getting into better shape is the end. The OCR is just a fun thing to aim for and see how you’ve got on.

We’ll be working with ex-mil people for the training. We do that already. it may seem odd putting a woman trying to lose some of the baby weight with a soldier getting ready for SF selection; but essentially they’re both under the same pressures. They have a goal that’s important to them and they can best achieve it by helping each other.

Our key element then is “inclusiveness”. We want people to feel welcome. it doesn’t matter how fit or unfit you are initially, we’ll work with you to get to the next level.

So the key thing we’re still chewing over is a name for the CIC.

We want to emphasise the inclusivity aspect. We also need a ‘respectable’ name. We’ll be working a lot with youth organisations and NGOs so we don’t want all that “Suck it up Princess!!!” crap you get with the “Extreme!!!!!!” elements of OCR.

You’re all very bright creative people, so any ideas gratefully received.

sunnysombrera
5 years ago

@Alan
I’ve got nothing that springs to mind but I will definitely ponder on a name and get back to you. As someone who very much likes exercise (yes I’m weird :P) I’m glad you’ve started this CIC! May it have massive success.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
5 years ago

Hi Sunnysombrera

That’s brilliant; thank you. Once it’s all up and running we’ll drag you along for some “Log PT” (it’s actually quite good fun)

For people who enjoy Government reports here’s some light reading….

http://www.wsff.org.uk/system/1/assets/files/000/000/273/273/ccc7dd1b4/original/WSFF_PE_Toolkit_CGFG.pdf

and

https://www.womeninsport.org/resources/what-sways-women-to-play-sport/

Corinn
5 years ago

Well, not much really changes in my life. Still trans. Still poor and unemployed. Still on the verge of homelessness. Still can’t get even the crappiest part-time work.

Oh, well, something did change. I had to sell even more of my belongings so I could eat. I don’t really own things anymore. Clothes. A five year old laptop. A two year old phone with a battery going flat.

My book seems to be doing well. My writer friends are jealous of how popular it is, but I am finding it difficult to get excited about. I won’t get the royalties soon enough to matter.

Link to my book for anyone interested:
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00UGFVVRA

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
5 years ago
gilshalos
5 years ago

@Alan (Moving from a non-personal thread :P)

Also, what do you mean showing our age ?!
I’ll have you know I’m a sprightly…uh…44.
So I did live through the Falklands, and the miner’s strike.
In fact, I knew twins who’s father was one of the police who were posted around mines.
(And since they could be incredible bullies, I shivered even as a High Schooler at what their father might do)
My first political memory is of Thatcher’s 1979 win.

sunnysombrera
5 years ago

@gilshalos
I’m 26. For me the phrase is “You know you’re getting old when your friends start having babies on purpose.”

I remember when phones had black and white screens and the only game was “Snake.”
I remember having only four analogue TV channels.
I remember VHS and audio tapes.

Am I a cool oldie yet?

Fred_the_Dog
5 years ago

I have more work than I can get done. This is both a good and a bad thing. Also, our program head is retiring so things are weird and will probably remain weird for the next couple of months as the power changeover happens. But the work is becoming increasingly exciting as we get closer to a potential life changing treatment for the sick kids I work with.

My co-mom had her gallbladder out but is doing well (this is my daughter’s mother-in-law, we’re great friends, we couldn’t think of a better name to call ourselves).

I am attempting to declutter but one of my couchsurfers told me I should just go for the Victorian style of decorating (basically, cram stuff in every which where) as my house is a “visual delight”. So, maybe…never going to be minimalist, though I like that look!

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