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block that metaphor cupcake evil sexy ladies MGTOW misogyny MRA no girls allowed vaginas

The Parable of the Cupcakes and the Male Spaces

When did vagina cupcakes become a thing?
When did vagina cupcakes become a thing?

Welcome, my brethren, to the Church of Jesus Christ Going His Own Way From Icky Girls. Today’s sermon is a reflection on the Parable of Cupcakes Invading Male Spaces Because Vagina.

Please turn to MGTOW 2:8109 and read along with me.

Cupcakes are busybodies who feel entitled to invade male spaces just because vagina while demanding to have female only spaces.
For truly, they are like baked goods, with vaginas.
[M]en act differently when cupcakes are around and cupcakes don’t understand why sometimes men want to just be with other men … . 
Verily, we are blinded by the light of their vaginae, and seek a refuge in which we can free ourselves from the foul temptation to behave decently for two minutes in the hope that one of these cupcakes will shine the light of her vagina upon us.
[B]lue pill men refuse to believe anything about cupcakes’ nature unless they experience it first hand, or … discover their special cupcake’s previous proclivities … .
For all men completely freak out at the notion of a woman having had sex with other people before them, right?
However, the men might have fun and cupcakes don’t like it when men have fun without them since cupcakes believe the world revolves around them and their almighty vagina.
And that is not the case even though we MGTOWs spend every waking moment obsessing about these filthy sexy vagina-having cupcakes.
If their vaginae aren’t needed for men to have fun, they lose their power and nothing upsets cupcakes more.
Hell hath no fury like a cupcake whose vagina is scorned. We’re pretty sure. I mean, these sexy bad evil vagina cupcakes are all mad that we don’t want to hang out with them, right?
Cupcakes are far more interested in controlling as many men as they can in all circumstances and male only spaces makes it harder for them to do so which is why they invade.
Get thee behind me, cupcake! 

NOTE: Well, a question, anyway. When exactly did vagina cupcakes — I mean the real, baked kind — become a thing? I mean, if you do an image search for “vagina cupcakes” there are gazoodles of pictures of them.

 

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Paradoxical Intention
6 years ago

@Sparky: I love how some of those penii are uncircumcised. XD

weirwoodtreehugger
6 years ago

Uhh…

Some genes don’t get passed down because some people die before they can reproduce or their descendents do. Or they have daughters only, therefore no Y chromosome DNA passed on, which I’m guessing is what that comment is referring to.

Also, it’s not like all materlineal lines have made it either.

fruitloopsie
fruitloopsie
6 years ago

Banana Jackie cake
That’s incredibly unfair, plus he said that they are still trying to pay off their medical bills.

Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
6 years ago

@weirwoodtreehugger

I wonder if they (the researchers) didn’t track the X chromosome men pass on or was the study only Y chromosomes? And if the study account for males and females that have XX and XY respectively? The numbers can be heavily skewed in many ways.

Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
6 years ago

@fruitloopsie

Oh. Well, I guess I won’t be donating to them again. :/

epitome of incomprehensibility

Re donating hair: the second time was for a cancer fundraiser I forget the name of, and the first was for Angel Hair for Kids, which doesn’t sell wigs but donates them, plus gives the children a free hair care kit… unfortunately it’s only in Canada:

“Angel Hair for Kids™ is a program of A Child’s Voice Foundation™ that provides wigs and hair loss solutions to financially disadvantaged children in Canada who have lost their hair due to a medical condition or treatment.”

Anyway, I checked out the Pantene site and their program looks cool. The only part that makes me roll my eyes is where they suggest potential donors should use lots of hair care products (preferably theirs, I’m guessing). Honestly, the neighbour who used to cut my hair told me not to use conditioner. She said just shampoo was best, because conditioner would leave a residue. (Of course, it depends on hair type; I’m white with straight, somewhat oily hair.)

Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
6 years ago

@epitome

It’s probably because of that oily hair. Conditioner is for hair that is dry. Whether or not it leaves residue depends on the conditioner you use.

Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
6 years ago

Well, no, all condition leaves some residue, but that’s to keep hair soft and moisturize. Residue depends on type of conditioner.

epitome of incomprehensibility

Augh, I sound so ignorant. That makes perfect sense!

I am also laughing at everything cupcake-related. I wonder what Marcel Duchamp would think of the cupcakes in the urinal?

mythago
6 years ago

Oh, don’t worry. We cupcakes know EXACTLY why sometimes men just want to be with other men.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tom_of_Finland

Paradoxical Intention
6 years ago

If anyone wants a quick hair care recommendation: I tried this stuff called Wen by a famous hair stylist, and it’s pretty amazing.

It smells like mint and oatmeal, and my hair was way softer and wasn’t as frizzy once I used it.

The only downside is that it’s hella expensive. : / I only got to try it because my aunt bought a bottle at a mall kiosk to try out.

odaran
odaran
6 years ago

So what if 40% of men have passed down their genes? Do we have to be pronatalists in a world with 7 billion people? Is that all there is to life, reproduction?
Can’t they just go their own way already?

Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
6 years ago

@epitone

I think “ignorant” is too strong a word to describe not knowing about hair care. I just happen to know a lot about hair because I have a LOT of hair. Super thick. And it has needs.

However, if you’re not talking about that, um, ignore this post.

@Paradoxical

I used that once. It was amaaazing~! My hair was soooo soft. *3* But if anyone wants something rather cheap, I’d suggest Burt Bee’s shampoo. It happens to make my hair (three days until it somewhat oily) super soft and smells awesome. Doesn’t dry out the hair, doesn’t leave a lot of waxy-crap. Pert two in one works alright too.

zoon echon logon
zoon echon logon
6 years ago

Cupcakes are busybodies who feel entitled to invade male spaces just because vagina while demanding to have female only spaces.</blockquote

It's super hypocritical for women to invade male spaces like sports and fiction and outside, but demand their own spaces like cooking or knitting or frilly pink stuff that I assume they like. I mean, women get all mad when guys get involved in their hobbies, right?

zoon echon logon
zoon echon logon
6 years ago

Well played, blockquote mammoth. I have avoided you for a long time, but I see you are patient foe.

Catalpa
Catalpa
6 years ago

These guys don’t seem to grasp what the concept of a “safe space” is.

For example, some women can set up a women-only blog, password protect it or something, and discuss women-only things. They can’t unilaterally declare that ALL blogs are now woman-only spaces and that all men need to GTFO or be subjected to an unending torrent of abuse.

In the same vein, some men can set up a men-only video game server, password protect it, and do all the manly dude things they want in it. They can’t unilaterally declare that ALL video games are now man-only spaces and that all women need to GTFO or be subjected to an unending torrent of abuse.

Well, I suppose in the latter they can, and they do. But they SHOULDN’T.

marinerachel
marinerachel
6 years ago

Those jellybeans as clitorides are all wrong. Some of them are placed so poorly that they look more like the vaginal orifice. It should be at the front junction of the labia minora, not between them. Those cupcakes don’t even have outer labia.

This is just fucking silly.

proxieme
proxieme
6 years ago

BQS – +1 for ominously interrupted sentence.

proxieme
proxieme
6 years ago

Re: 40% of males passing down their genes: There was apparently a recent study which indicated that thousands of years ago (around the time of the advent/spread of agriculture and the consolidation of populations under more heirarchal social systems) only around 40% of men passed down their DNA most likely because of mate hoarding by men in leadership at the expense of the ability of the remaining men being able to pair off (because math).

No, wait, that was OBVIOUSLY due to MISANDRY and DAMN, CUCKOLDING WOMEN.

THESE GUYS!
Where’s the fucking reading comprehension!?!
It’s like ALLLLLLLLLL of the assholes who only read headlines or article ledes and then spit out teal deers in comments sections have congregated in one effing movement .

proxieme
proxieme
6 years ago

Sauce: http://arstechnica.com/science/2015/03/neolithic-culture-may-have-kept-most-men-from-mating/

Y’know, though, this says for every 17 women who passed along their genes, only one male did…so maybe they’re citing some other assfax.

proxieme
proxieme
6 years ago

Perhaps not surprisingly, when I Google “only 40 of males reproduce” (not in quotes in my search, in quotes here to separate it out) the most credible hit was Psychology Today talking about monogamy vs polygamy – the rest were comments sections.

Long story short: The 1:17 ratio apparently happened about 8k years ago. Averaged out historically, the ratio’s about 2:3 largely because of polygamy, wars, and rape-as-warfare.
Or, if you’re an MRA, because social structures have always been identical to the US in the 1950s, those DAMN CUCKOLDING WOMEN.

So we’re back to poor reading confirmation theater not playing well with a rampant tendency to give confirmation biases big ol’ hugs.

proxieme
proxieme
6 years ago

Reading comprehension*

Cue prox stopping pecking at her phone and getting coffee.

Melyanna
6 years ago

Why did I click on the last link? Some of those photos are… the horror!

Flying Mouse
Flying Mouse
6 years ago

Welcome, RoscoeTCat! If you have not already done so, please proceed to the sidebar and collect your welcome package. You will be taken there after you click the scented fucking candle.

Long story short: The 1:17 ratio apparently happened about 8k years ago. Averaged out historically, the ratio’s about 2:3 largely because of polygamy, wars, and rape-as-warfare.

Or, if you’re an MRA, because social structures have always been identical to the US in the 1950s, those DAMN CUCKOLDING WOMEN.

Of course it is! Women of course chose to “join” harems, or to be spoils of war (if they were honorable, they would have taken the other option, which was ignoble death. Duh).

I know that I personally yearn for those days of yore. Why only this morning I was mourning the fact that “collected by a warlord” isn’t a viable career path for a Western woman these days.

*FM spits viciously*

These guys. They can take terrible examples of violence, terror, and dehumanization (all of which STILL OCCUR in other parts of the world) and somehow make it all about how awful women won’t give them their due.

Fibinachi
6 years ago

Its remembering and misunderstanding an old claim in a speech by a researcher I forgot (possibly Roy Baumeinster)

The claim is multiple women can be impregnated by one man so most men historically haven’t reproduced. There’s nothing in that claim about cuckolding, but trust mra’s to make odd research claims even worse :b

Buttercup Q. Skullpants

Do we actually know what proportion of women survived to reproduce? For every 17 harem concubines getting pregnant off the same man, maybe there were 50 other women we don’t know about who died of disease, accident, childbirth, or homicide, were infertile or disfigured or otherwise unmarriageable, or lived in isolation as slaves and nuns,

The only thing you can say about this statistic is that it sheds light on the tendency of cultures down through the ages to propel a few elite men to the top of the pyramid, at the expense of those on the bottom. MRAs complain about this phenomenon all the time, but they’re completely blind to the fact that it’s a natural consequence of winner-take-all capitalist competition. That’s mainly driven by men, who define the rules and the terms of success.

MRAs, with their usual spaghetti logic, have decided that this economic disparity must be the fault of evil women manipulating men behind the scenes. Therefore, women are obligated to atone for Genghis Khan’s war slave monopoly by dispensing sex to the 80%. The best way to convince women to do this is by crop-dusting Jezebel comment sections with whiny paeans to evo psych and how unfairrrrr and unnatural the dating scene is.

ktrantingredhead
6 years ago

You know, the thing is, I AM in full support of male spaces. I know there are men who don’t always want women around or might feel inhibited when women are around or who might want to “relax with the guys.” This is why golf was invented. I even don’t mind men casually bitching about women. I’m a woman who doesn’t always went men around! Fuck knows when my girlfriends and I get together (times in which we all hate to have any men around), we bitch about men, but it’s not because we DESPISE men as beings. It’s because, like any human being, we have our frustrations with the gender of our affection. It’s perfectly healthy, normal, and ACCEPTABLE! Everyone does it and if you claim you don’t, you’re just plain lying (I am sure some of you will lie and say you don’t ever do that and make objections to what I’m saying; that’s your right, be you and I know the truth).

The thing is NOTHING on the internet is private. It’s not like Reddit is your secret no-girls-allowed tree fort. If they really want secret “safe” male spaces, they should probably stop screaming at the top of their lungs, “HEEEEEEEY THIS IS WHERE THE SUPER SECRET NO GIRLS ALLOWED TREE FORT IS! COME AND BITCH ABOUT HOW SLUTS ARE RUINING SOCIETY!! Hey, sluts, here we are complaining about you and plotting ways to either kill, torture, or abuse you and get away with it….but don’t say anything because FREE SPEECH (for men only).”

It’s one thing for a group of guys to say, “My wife gets all pissy when I don’t put down the toilet lid. I’m like, look before you sit, dummy!”

“Yeah, women are a pain in the ass.”

It’s quite another for a group of guys to say, “All women are vile hookers who are cheating on you before they meet you with every man they sleep with before you and they should be sent off to camps to be civilized or killed if they can’t be.”

“Yeah, Elliot Rodger is my hero.”

Venting vs. Hating One is ok, the other is dangerous.

I guess “cupcakes” could fight fire with fire and say, “YOU’RE TAKING AWAY MY FREEEEEEEE SPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH.”

2big2fail
2big2fail
6 years ago

Wow, the MRA movement is like a perpetual abstinence-only sex-ed class.

proxieme
proxieme
6 years ago

^ I’m completely in support of male-spaces, too, they just can’t claim all of a given hobby or interest as a no-girls-allowed club and then cry when we show up.

Video games?

http://i.imgur.com/A4Bj1cn.jpg

No, those aren’t only for dudes, and they can eat a bag of vagina cupcakes if they’d like to say otherwise.

AltoFronto
AltoFronto
6 years ago

I think the vagina cupcakes originated with VaJanuary, which I only heard about in… 2011? ish?

Seems it originated as an equivalent to Movember, in which people with vaginas grow out their pubic hair, but it also serves to raise awareness of ovarian cancer and to break some of the taboo around our genitalia. 🙂

But like, where are all these male-only spaces that we feeeemales are apparently ruining by wandering into, like loose sheep in the road, or maybe like a hoard of ravenous zombies against which the Menz must barricade the doors?
Because most people will respect any room with a sign that says “X Group Meeting Here” – in fact, as anyone who’s ever had to organise a community event will know, it’s actually really difficult to get people to turn up to stuff, even if it caters to them specifically… So it would be unlikely for “cupcakes” to show up anywhere that was explicitly not meant for them.
And if I somehow turned up to a meeting of Freemasons, or a testicular cancer support group, I’d probably twig, feel uncomfortable and leave immediately anyway.

These asshats are clearly defining “safe space for men” faaaar too broadly. Because they don’t get that words mean things.
I hope they are constantly tormented… in that I mean I hope that there continue to be women in great numbers in every “manly” profession or hobby or public space – having fun and not giving any fucks.

Bina
Bina
6 years ago

However, the men might have fun and cupcakes don’t like it when men have fun without them since cupcakes believe the world revolves around them and their almighty vagina.

Translation: We want to go to strip joints and look at appropriately humbled vaginas on continuous display, instead.

That IS what they mean by “safe spaces for men”, is it not?

maistrechat
6 years ago

@incomprehensible

For what it’s worth, my mind went directly to Duchamp when I saw that picture too.

J. Schmidt
J. Schmidt
6 years ago

[M]en act differently when cupcakes are around and cupcakes don’t understand why sometimes men want to just be with other men …

Are… are they just insecure around women? I think I’d have a lot more respect for them if they just came out and admitted that. I can get behind that. I remember feeling scared and insecure; feeling like I had to perform a certain role if I ever wanted to have romantic relationships; feeling like this role contradicted who I really wanted to be. I wouldn’t hold it against them if they felt that way.

Paradoxical Intention
6 years ago

Speaking of being a cupcake and wiggling into a man-niche that…I’ve always…been in?: I just played the most interesting little game that was inspired by The Stanley Parable: Her Majesty’s Apathy Bomb.

You play as a (female!) bomb maker, who was tasked by a tyrant queen to make an “apathy bomb” to quell a rebellion.

There are six different endings, depending on how well you listen to the narrator, and what choices you make. They’re all pretty easy to get to (I did have a little bit of trouble figuring out one of them, but it turned out to be super easy).

It was made for a contest where you make a game with an “unconventional weapon”.

Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
6 years ago

@Paradoxical

Just finished it. Not bad. Should have had an ending where you just idled however because that would have been funny.

It’s a really quaint mechanic (would have been better if there were subtitles though) and I wouldn’t mind seeing it in a much longer and complex game. The narration was awesome, the story was funny and the art style was nice and simple but had a very large scope about it.

8/10 would play again.

Bryce
Bryce
6 years ago

@proxieme

Regarding only 40% of our male ancestors reproducing: as you probably know, a lot of the beta/alpha evo psych theories these guys posit stem from the idea that women actively hate men they wouldn’t sleep with.

Thus the presence of women in ” male spaces” results in relational aggression against the betas. (Women as social terrorists, spreading nasty rumours and generally being unpleasant towards the fugly socially awkward guys, who get pushed out and left with nowhere to go.)

Bryce
Bryce
6 years ago

*Fudge! I meant only 40% of men in total reproducing (in hunter-gatherer times).

epitome of incomprehensibility

as you probably know, a lot of the beta/alpha evo psych theories these guys posit stem from the idea that women actively hate men they wouldn’t sleep with.

Really. Just really. How would that even work? I guess they’re taking the “males compete for females” thing and taking it way too far. People, and other primates, do a lot of non-sex things that require cooperation, so evolutionarily speaking (if you can speak in an evolutionary way!) that makes no sense.

@Banana Jackie Cake – No worries about yesterday! I just meant I didn’t know much about hair, not that I felt bad. I like your screen name, by the way. 🙂

@maistrechat – That, and “Oh no, don’t pee on the cupcakes!”

Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
6 years ago

@epitome

I know what you meant; it just seemed like you were taking it hard with the word choice. lol

Paradoxical Intention
6 years ago

SO, I mentioned this sometime last month or so, but since we brought up cupcakes again, here’s a dude who got mad that a lesbian in a video game rejected him because she’s, y’know, not attracted to men:

http://40.media.tumblr.com/ae4dcd481fcb4c394042869290e9c38d/tumblr_nl2mueVdOb1rqseloo1_1280.png

Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
6 years ago

@Paradoxical

Are you kidding me? What an idiot. It’s a fucking video game character. And you know what? There’s other fucking cupcakes in the world, you don’t need that specific cupcake.

Just, what.

Paradoxical Intention
6 years ago

Last time I brought this up (I couldn’t find the graphic for it though! Sadface!), someone (I think it was Bina, bless their face), said this was like walking into a cupcake shop, and demanding that the baker make a lemon cupcake into a chocolate one, even though there are plenty of other chocolate cupcakes in the store, and that was one of the few lemon cupcakes.

Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
6 years ago

@Paradoxical

That sounds about right.

I just can’t get behind the logic.This dipshit most be one of those assholes who REFUSES to play a female character, as if somehow playing a female avatar will make his dick fall off or something. Man, I wish I had the luxury of refusing to play a game if the main character wasn’t my exact gender. *rolls eyes*

Kootiepatra
6 years ago

The analogy gets even more nonsensical when you think about it—I mean, if I picked up a sentient cupcake to eat it, I’d imagine it would do something more along the lines of screaming for its life. Because wishing not to be eaten is somewhat more severe than rebuffing a romantic approach.

Ellesar
Ellesar
6 years ago

How many more ways will women be dehumanised? – we are cupcakes, plates, hamsters, chicks and of course the ubiquitous bitches and cunts.

Spindrift
Spindrift
6 years ago

@Ellesar “How many more ways will women be dehumanised? – we are cupcakes, plates, hamsters, chicks and of course the ubiquitous bitches and cunts.”

Don’t forget cars!

Robert
Robert
6 years ago

The screaming cupcake reminds me of Daniel Handler’s sweet little Chanukah story, “The Latke Who Couldn’t Stop Screaming”.

I’m reading a history of Europe before Rome. One of the interesting details is how the shift from gathering – hunting to agriculture led to stratified societies and inequalities of wealth. They weren’t baked into human society from the get go, but an outgrowth of technological change. Evo psych begone!

Paradoxical Intention
6 years ago

So, the developer of the Apathy Bomb game just tweeted me.

https://twitter.com/itreallyisamre/status/591237663342129152

Best tweet ever.

Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
6 years ago

That’s awesome. If I had Twitter, I’d follow him.

Bina
Bina
6 years ago

Last time I brought this up (I couldn’t find the graphic for it though! Sadface!), someone (I think it was Bina, bless their face), said this was like walking into a cupcake shop, and demanding that the baker make a lemon cupcake into a chocolate one, even though there are plenty of other chocolate cupcakes in the store, and that was one of the few lemon cupcakes.

Nope, ’twasn’t me. I’d remember if I said that.

But yeah. What is it about these guys thinking of us as consumable comestibles, and not, you know, what we actually ARE, i.e. PEOPLE?

(Also, Sentient Cupcake says NOOOOOO to WTF Dude. If I had any hand for cartooning, I’d make up a Sentient Cupcake strip on the spot.)