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block that metaphor cupcake evil sexy ladies MGTOW misogyny MRA no girls allowed vaginas

The Parable of the Cupcakes and the Male Spaces

When did vagina cupcakes become a thing?
When did vagina cupcakes become a thing?

Welcome, my brethren, to the Church of Jesus Christ Going His Own Way From Icky Girls. Today’s sermon is a reflection on the Parable of Cupcakes Invading Male Spaces Because Vagina.

Please turn to MGTOW 2:8109 and read along with me.

Cupcakes are busybodies who feel entitled to invade male spaces just because vagina while demanding to have female only spaces.
For truly, they are like baked goods, with vaginas.
[M]en act differently when cupcakes are around and cupcakes don’t understand why sometimes men want to just be with other men … . 
Verily, we are blinded by the light of their vaginae, and seek a refuge in which we can free ourselves from the foul temptation to behave decently for two minutes in the hope that one of these cupcakes will shine the light of her vagina upon us.
[B]lue pill men refuse to believe anything about cupcakes’ nature unless they experience it first hand, or … discover their special cupcake’s previous proclivities … .
For all men completely freak out at the notion of a woman having had sex with other people before them, right?
However, the men might have fun and cupcakes don’t like it when men have fun without them since cupcakes believe the world revolves around them and their almighty vagina.
And that is not the case even though we MGTOWs spend every waking moment obsessing about these filthy sexy vagina-having cupcakes.
If their vaginae aren’t needed for men to have fun, they lose their power and nothing upsets cupcakes more.
Hell hath no fury like a cupcake whose vagina is scorned. We’re pretty sure. I mean, these sexy bad evil vagina cupcakes are all mad that we don’t want to hang out with them, right?
Cupcakes are far more interested in controlling as many men as they can in all circumstances and male only spaces makes it harder for them to do so which is why they invade.
Get thee behind me, cupcake! 

NOTE: Well, a question, anyway. When exactly did vagina cupcakes — I mean the real, baked kind — become a thing? I mean, if you do an image search for “vagina cupcakes” there are gazoodles of pictures of them.

 

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Li
Li
6 years ago

I really have to question why so many of those edible type cupcakes appear to have been… Used.

Rabukurafuto
Rabukurafuto
6 years ago

A friend of mine took photos of vagina cupcakes more than a decade ago, so they’ve been around for a while.

Anyway, whenever I eat a cupcake now, I give a little salute to feminism and a little “fuck you” to MRAs.

weirwoodtreehugger
6 years ago

I wonder what he means by male spaces? If he’s talking about a possessive girlfriend insisting she be allowed to tag along on guy’s night out. Then, sure.

Something tells me he’s talking about hobbies or careers that were never actually for men only. Sci fi, gaming, computers, atheism etc.

ikanreed
ikanreed
6 years ago

Of course, “male safe spaces” means “entire segments of society and culture” to these clowns, rather than small contained spaces and situations designed for dealing with gendered concerns.

Go join an Elk club if you want an all male club, and maybe don’t try to commit illegal and/or hostile acts to get women out of sports/games/politics/whatever dumbshit thing you think is a “safe space”.

Kootiepatra
6 years ago

cupcakes don’t understand why sometimes men want to just be with other men…

Well, baked goods aren’t known for their cognitive ability.

But *women*–yes, *women* do understand why sometimes men want to just be with other men. That’s fine.

We just take issue when they try to declare major public spaces as male-only zones; that’s all.

Kootiepatra
6 years ago

And I see I got ninja’d by weirwoodtreehugger 🙂

Spaceman
Spaceman
6 years ago

If they don’t want any cupcakes, I will be happy to take them off their hands. Chocolate only. Because well vanilla is just plain boring.

I will be happy to drop off a nice big carrot platter for them to munch on in exchange.

Not sure how vaginas factor into this, but I’ll be happy to share my new batch of cupcakes with anyone.

😛

Sarity
Sarity
6 years ago

“If their vaginae aren’t needed for men to have fun, they lose their power and nothing upsets cupcakes more.”

What? No! I beg you, nothing would make cupcakes happier than if more men realized they don’t need vaginae to have fun. Men learning to live happily without making vaginae the center of their world could make for a wonderful decline in rape, assault, catcalling, stalking, and all such sexually aggressive behavior. That would be a GIFT, sir.

Thalia
Thalia
6 years ago

He gets points of some kind for using “vaginae” I guess — I don’t know whether that’s really the correct plural, but it sounds pretty awesome!

I also am curious about which spaces are meant to be male-only and free of the vaginidae and their insidious clitoric jellybeans. Absolutely there should be no cupcakes in, for example, the men’s side of a Korean-style spa, or at your prostate-cancer-survivor support group (unless you’re the kind of freak who appreciates having your female friends and relatives offering love and support), or breaking into your house when you have the guys over.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
6 years ago

What is it with these guys constantly coming up with different metaphors for women? They’re cupcakes! They’re plates! They’re spoiled milk! They’re gorillas!

It’s like women are some kind of elaborate 26-dimensional bosonic string that they can only grasp when explained to them in terms of inanimate objects. Inanimate objects with cute outer appearances, but weirdly sinister intentions.

Speaking of which, here comes a whole flock of adorable little cupcakes. I wonder what they wan

Spaceman
Spaceman
6 years ago

“What is it with these guys constantly coming up with different metaphors for women? They’re cupcakes! They’re plates! They’re spoiled milk! They’re gorillas!”

Because if they call women by anything that resembles a normal human being, they may be forced to realize that they are dealing with a normal human being. Not the gross caricature of a straw [wo]man they have built in their minds.

Robert
Robert
6 years ago

When I joined the lodge, the Worshipful Master made an observation that has stuck in my memory. Apparently, some brothers’ wives were occasionally curious about what their husbands were doing during Masonic ceremonies, and mildly chagrined that they could not participate. Now my husband could have joined, but had no interest in doing so. He found this surprising.

Also, the persistent identification of women in the OP as some mash-up of pastry and reproductive organs is frankly disturbing. Is thinking of women as human beings that difficult for them?

Paradoxical Intention
6 years ago

Kootiepatra | April 21, 2015 at 3:42 pm

cupcakes don’t understand why sometimes men want to just be with other men…

Well, baked goods aren’t known for their cognitive ability.

But *women*–yes, *women* do understand why sometimes men want to just be with other men. That’s fine.

We just take issue when they try to declare major public spaces as male-only zones; that’s all.

QFT.

You can’t declare all of France to be your secret [insert identifier here] club, and then wonder why some of the French are so upset about it.

Spaceman | April 21, 2015 at 4:14 pm
Because if they call women by anything that resembles a normal human being, they may be forced to realize that they are dealing with a normal human being. Not the gross caricature of a straw [wo]man they have built in their minds.

So many truth bombs being dropped today. I bask in their glory.

http://media.giphy.com/media/11lTsuHVXoQBlm/giphy.gif

Shalimar
Shalimar
6 years ago

If he can get away with vaginae, maybe I should try again with getting penii accepted as the proper plural form of penis.

NicolaLuna
NicolaLuna
6 years ago

On Saturday I baked cupcakes with my sons because MISANDY!!!!1!! 1! We baked banana ones and strawberry ones and they were yummy.

Also, if I think cupcakes are tasty, is that cannibalism?

Sarity
Sarity
6 years ago

Any acknowledgement of women as human beings is just political correctness gone mad.

Miss Anne Dairy
Miss Anne Dairy
6 years ago

@ Nicola Luna: I think that’s probably cake-ilingus

Bill
Bill
6 years ago

I am so sick and tired of random misogynists and reactionaries trying to create “male safe place” fiefdoms in mediums like comics, video games and science fiction. This people care absolutely nothing about the medium, but they seem to think that they have the right to pop in and tell others what they are allowed to read and watch. Honestly, go away and stop throwing temper tantrums whenever a medium has characters that aren’t white, straight and male.

Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
6 years ago

@NicolaLuna

Mmm, banana cupcakes. <3

Paradoxical Intention
6 years ago

Are banana cupcakes misandry because you’re chopping/mashing something phallic?

reymohammed
reymohammed
6 years ago

On certain Greek isles, they have holidays where they not only observe sex rolls, but eat them. My spelling is fine.

Tulgey Logger
Tulgey Logger
6 years ago

To be ridiculously pendantic, I think those are vulva cupcakes, actually. Unless they have an interior or tubelike structure. In which case: bravo, baker, bravo.

Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
6 years ago

@Tulgey Logger

With strawberry filling.

me and not you
me and not you
6 years ago

I remember buying vagina/vulva lollypops at the vagina monologues. I imagine cupcakes are an extension of that.

Also: Tulgey – you could make creme filled cupcakes. Or, like… eclairs (?) with a vulva on the end.

Jordan James Fuller
6 years ago

Do they guys not realize that they sell pretty good replicas of vagina nowadays? The Tenga 3d actually won some non-adult awards for it’s design. So they don’t need those evil “Fe-males!” so get their rocks off.

Ceredwyn Ealanta
6 years ago

Speaking of the whole male safe spaces (Comics! Science fiction! Cars! Most things!) versus female safe spaces (that meeting room once a week!) it looks as if there’s some sort of separation where men are supposed to have large scale systems supported by industry and women are supposed to have small private systems supported by individuals.

I have seen safe spaces for men in the local community set up and advertised that match the ‘female’ model, actually – they deal with things like homelessness, depression, job problems, giving an outlet for community support, as they also build things like benches in parks etc.

But those ‘safe spaces’ really don’t seem to have the MRA infection going on.

Thalia
Thalia
6 years ago

That dog cupcake is SO WRONG. I definitely do not want THAT invading my space, I’m starting to see what this guy means! The maple-bacon though? Come to mama.

fromafar2013
6 years ago

I was all ready for cupcakes until the dog pooping one. I think I’ll just have another beer, thanks.

Andrew
Andrew
6 years ago

“What is it with these guys constantly coming up with different metaphors for women? They’re cupcakes! They’re plates! They’re spoiled milk! They’re gorillas!”

As always, Simpsons did it first:

Son, a woman is a lot like a… a refrigerator! They’re about six feet tall, 300 pounds. They make ice, and um Oh, wait a minute! Actually, a woman is more like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you’d step over your own mother just to get one! But you can’t stop at one, you wanna drink another woman!

Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
6 years ago

@Paradoxical Intention

Hey, off-topic, but I was wondering since you said you weren’t donating to Locks of Love what charity you have or are going to donate your hair to?

friday jones
friday jones
6 years ago

Cupcakes are Cake Teases. I need two large slices of the real thing just to get well, man. And would it hurt to add some ice cream? Well, yes, being as I’m lactose intolerant, but that’s not the point, the point is… The point is….. I like cake!

Paradoxical Intention
6 years ago

Oh, the best way to eat a cupcake is: you peel off the paper, then you carefully tear off the bottom cake bit, and sandwich the frosting with it!

Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
6 years ago

@Paradoxical Intention

So far, the best part is that the length requirement is 2 inches shorter than Locks of Love. Yay!

Paradoxical Intention
6 years ago

And they give the wigs away for free, instead of selling them like Locks of Love does. : /

fromafar2013
6 years ago

Oh, the best way to eat a cupcake is: you peel off the paper, then you carefully tear off the bottom cake bit, and sandwich the frosting with it!

Why hadn’t I thought of that!? I’m doing that from now on.

Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
6 years ago

@Paradoxical Intention

I’m actually pretty sure Locks of Love does give wigs free to kids who need them, but they encourage buying them so they have money for high-quality wigs. I know there’s a charity (forgot which) that makes wigs and gives them completely free but the wigs are much lower quality than Locks of Love.

Shaenon
6 years ago

Whenever these guys get all spooooky about The Secret Way Women Really Are That Only Those What Have Taken the Red Pill Know, and then they have to explain what this Way actually is, it’s almost always “a normal person more or less like me, only a lady.”

Women often experience sexual feelings! Shocking!

Women look different in different outfits! Horrifying!

Women tend not to like it when you yell stuff or grab at them! Bizarre!

Women sometimes go to the same places you go and do the same things you do, even though you are a man and they are the opposite of men! WHAT IS THIS FEMALE PLOT?!

fruitloopsie
fruitloopsie
6 years ago

I met a man who said he had long hair and gave it to locks of love but they sold the wig to a kid which cost thousands. I’m nervous who I want to give my hair to becuase I don’t want anyone to buy instead I want to give it for free.

Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
6 years ago

@fruitloopsie

Maybe they sell it to families that can afford it but give away wigs to those who can’t?

Tessa
6 years ago

If their vaginae aren’t needed for men to have fun, they lose their power and nothing upsets cupcakes more.

Actually I think most women would rather not be simply reduced to the amount of fun a man can have with her vagina. You know, existing as a person independent of whether or not a man wants to have sex with her. Maybe a person who enjoys that job or hobby, too.

This just shows they only see women as a source of sex and nothing else. Dehumanization at its finest.

RoscoeTCat
RoscoeTCat
6 years ago

OK, this post took the cake! Time to de-lurk.

skybison
skybison
6 years ago

All you have to do is take a cup of flour
Add it to the mix.
Now just take a little something sweet, not sour
A bit of salt, just a pinch.
Baking these treats is such a sinch!
Add a teaspoon of vanilla.
Add a little more
And you count to four
And you never get your filla!

Cupcakes! So sweet and Tasty!
Cupcakes! Don’t be too hasty!
Cupcakes! Cupcakes Cupcakes Cupcakes!

sparky
sparky
6 years ago

For what it’s worth, they also make [Warning: very not safe for work] penis cupcakes.

I also found some pictures of STD cupcakes, but I’m not going to link those. Because ewwww.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
6 years ago

Cupcakes invading a male space:
comment image

skybison
skybison
6 years ago

Also from the same thread as this post

“According to historical DNA evidence, only 40% of men have passed down their genes. This would suggest the 6 out of 10 men are being cuckolded and used by their wives. Now if you factor out all the conquerors, rapes, etc, the number is probably higher. We’re talking the 80/20 rule.”

I’d ask to see the source of these stats, but I suspect it’s from the Journal of advanced PIDOOMA research.

Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
6 years ago

@skybison

I guess they didn’t think about all the men who died hunting mammoths before they could bang up a woman. You’d think they’d bring that up.

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