Would you like to hear the good news about Jesus Christ?
I suppose I should preface this by saying it’s only good news for evil misandrist women who want to make life as hard as possible for men, and (of course) f0r self-hating manginas. But here it is, straight from the Black Pill blog (formerly Omega Virgin Revolt).
No real-life dude can possibly live up to Jesus as a boyfriend.
In Christian churches, many women treat Jesus not as their savior as such, but as they’re boyfriend. It “works” for them since they’re dealing with someone they are only imagining in their heads. However, it creates a huge problem for Christian men since no man can compete with the Jesus boyfriend women have inside their heads.
So God’s Match for You is … His son, the carpenter?
To Christians, Jesus is God, and no man can compete with God, much less what women have in their own heads with treating Jesus as their boyfriend.
Imaginary Jesus boyfriend is the ultimate Alpha and Omega Male.
The Christian dating advice industry doesn’t deal with this problem and won’t even admit it exists.
Well, the “Christian dating advice industry” may not, but Wikihow sort of does.
But men who are not Jesus can take comfort in one thing: When Jesus returns to earth, he’ll have to deal with false accusations just like mortal men.
If Jesus were to come back, millions of Christian women would have their illusion shattered that Jesus is their boyfriend. This would lead to women falsely accusing Jesus of rape to get back at him. The same false accusation bandwagon effect that happened to Bill Cosby would happen to Jesus.
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned!
Just remember, not even Jesus can avoid false accusations from women. If the son of God can’t, then you won’t be able to either if you spend enough time with women.
In other words, the only solution is COMGTOW — “Children of Men” Going Their Own Way.
Jesus was not WHITE. and this poor man gets dragged into so much that he shouldn’t be part of. I’ll read what David wrote now. Just had to vent.
@Flying Mouse
Yeeahh, it doesn’t seem to me that boys get much of “how to construct yourself while waiting for The One” talk. I think you’re right, it just boils down to ‘don’t have sex.’ They never get told to avoid ‘making your sisters stumble’ via their clothes or behaviour though, which is annoying. Some parts of the Church continue to ignore that women have a sexuality that exists beyond pleasing their future husband.
Like seriously, I’m a straight single lady. Of course I have sinful thoughts about a man from time to time. 😉
Okay, ex Christian now atheist here. I don’t even know where to start here. This guy is way off. I’m thinking he’s never met a pure Christian woman. Is he thinking they are masturbating to Jesus?!? Um, no, that’s a sin!!!! Jesus is pure, He is how MEN, Christian men, are supposed to be. It’s not Christian women who will be in trouble if He ever returns.
Jesus was a nice guy, not a Nice Guy™. And when girls say they’re “dating” him, they mean symbolically, until a real-life version who’s just as nice comes along to take Jesus’s place for realz.
Of course, this guy (who is just nasty) couldn’t be arsed to tell the difference.
Just about any imaginary thing would make a better boyfriend than Black Pill Dude. Unicorns. Armored bears. Pan-Galactic Gargle Blasters. Inexpensive college tuition. i (though you have to be careful not to let things get too irrational).
That’s some prime Grade A hypocrisy on his part. He’s all gung-ho on Christianity so long as it regulates women and instructs them to be submissive, but then he’s like “wait, *I’m* supposed to curb my behavior too, and emulate Jesus? What kind of beta misandrist religion is this, telling me to do good and love my neighbor? That’s not gonna get me laid!” I’m surprised he doesn’t try to argue that Jesus is criminalizing “natural” male behavior by telling people to turn the other cheek.
This guy has a pretty weird Jesus inside his head, too. One who wears colorful sweaters and eats Pudding Pops and gets all the chicks. No way can Real Jesus compete with that.
Yeahhh, Jesus is probably going to be a little busy during the Second Coming. You know, what with trampling the grapes of wrath, smiting unbelieving nations, doing battle at Armageddon, casting Satan back into the depths, resurrecting the dead, and judging souls for all eternity. People are likewise going to be a little busy fleeing in terror from the Four Horsemen, flaming swords, etc. Bit of a full docket. Somehow, I don’t think anyone’s going to be able to pencil false rape charges into the schedule. (Even if they did manage to get a hearing…isn’t Jesus the final judge and arbiter of everything?)
Translation:
“Make believe women and what I imagine they think and feel are dangerous in a fictitious scenario I dreamed up. Even women’s spirituality is dangerous. I find all men threatening, even the one I worship. They’re making me look less desirable by being awesome!
Women must hate Jesus for not fucking them the way I hate women for not fucking me. The monsters! Just look at what’s going in in my head! It’s very scary in here! Beware the women!”
I was a Christian teen. Even though Jesus is often depicted mostly nude and quite fit, I never once sexualized him in my head. Jesus’s partially nudity didn’t seem strange. Even now Jesus’s erect nips in the pic above seem a little creepy. Why didn’t I ever notice Jesus the way this guy thinks women do? Even with the church called the bride of Christ, I never made a sexual connection. (At least, I don’t think I did. Who knows what’s lurking around in my subconscious?)
I can’t even imagine a world in which teenage boys would be expected to pray to a goddess depicted as nearly nude and bound without that goddess being sexualized. Maybe that’s why this guy assumes Christian women see Jesus as a “boyfriend”. He can’t imagine feeemales existing as anything but as sex objects. Just like he would sexualize a female Christ, he sexualizes Feeemale Christians.
Patriarchy is gross, y’all.
By the way, aren’t Gods normally pretty lousy about paying Child Support and should thus be MRA icons? I mean, Zeus was all, “Yo Herc, here are some super powers, but my wife might try to kill you, lololol”
There’s clearly a market for Christian PUA guides. I need to write an Amazon e-book on a bunch of bullshit about “footwashing game” and “lifting like carpenter” and I’ll make a mint.
The church in the village where I grew up was really old, about seven hundred years. Old enough to have an old goddess statue nailed upside down to the inside wall of the church tower (people at the time would believe that pagan religion=black magic, and you had to do something like that to drain the scary magic out of pagan statues). Old enough to be guarded by a ghost pig… A poor pig had once been buried alive in the church yard, in the belief that she would turn into a ghost and then scare off burglars who might want to steal the church silver. The big crucifix hanging from the ceiling was slightly more recent, but only slightly, and pictured Jesus as terribly emaciated and terribly suffering.
That’s typical, btw, for areas who used to suffer starvation themselves. It was a crucial part of their Christianity that God knows what it’s like to suffer, he’s suffered just like us through his son. So they’d picture Jesus with toothpick arms and a clearly visible ribcage.
I still think Jesus with muscles look weird.
http://i.imgur.com/dosZy8i.jpg
Very weird.
It isn’t really about Jesus, is it? It’s really about women having standards, and those standards not including black-pill dude. His fantasy is about what would happen should Jesus actually return is just self-serving; fantasizing that women would act horribly to the son of god because lol women, and reassuring himself that rape accusations are truly false and ubiquitous.
Though I’m kind of curious what black-pill dude would suggest as a good way to “deal” with the “issue” that Christian women have unrealistic expectations of their mortal boyfriend pool. A public service announcement?
“He may not be Jesus, but he’s just fine.
Good Christian Women Know that God should always be #1 in their hearts, until marriage anyway. Sometimes it can seem like no man could possibly fill the hole in your soul the way Jesus does. How do you know when to move from the Almighty to the Alrighty?
No man or woman could possibly live up to the standards Jesus has set for us, but that’s ok! We can all accept the little imperfections in our partners, and mutually strive to do better under the eye of the Lord. So even if he’s a little short for your tastes, or a little smelly, or writes misogynistic screeds on the internet about how women are vile creatures that would sooner accuse the Son of God of rape than introspect, just remember; he may not be Jesus, but he’s just fine.
Standards are misandry.”
@zoon echon logon: Telling people they’ll go to hell if they reject you is the ultimate dread game.
@M:
You know, apart from “Jesus is gonna tip over pretty soon, he isn’t exactly standing on anything and he’s suddenly become quite top-heavy,” that image brings another thought to mind.
Why is it that the concept of destroying the torture device used to crucify the messiah is not a thing in Christianity? In fact, the torture device itself is considered a holy symbol. I guess Jesus breaking out of the thing that was supposed to kill him would wreck havoc on his plan to pay for the sins of the world but still…
I think the only thing remotely similar to a false rape accusation against Jesus came from a dude, John Donne:
Batter my heart, three-person’d God, for you
As yet but knock, breathe, shine, and seek to mend;
That I may rise and stand, o’erthrow me, and bend
Your force to break, blow, burn, and make me new.
I, like an usurp’d town to another due,
Labor to admit you, but oh, to no end;
Reason, your viceroy in me, me should defend,
But is captiv’d, and proves weak or untrue.
Yet dearly I love you, and would be lov’d fain,
But am betroth’d unto your enemy;
Divorce me, untie or break that knot again,
Take me to you, imprison me, for I,
Except you enthrall me, never shall be free,
Nor ever chaste, except you ravish me.
Blond muscle Jesus: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PM13yXlW-Vs
There’s also a famous altarpiece by Matthias Grunewald done for a hospital that depicts Jesus with skin diseases.
@Kirbywarp: See, I took the cross to be a symbol of death, so Muscular Jesus up there breaking it comes out of the idea that Jesus beat death through the resurrection.
I can’t explain why wearing a device of torment and death is so popular, though, but in many ways Jesus’ death is given more weight than his life by a lot of people.
@falconer
I’ve read that early Christians had the same objections you bring up, thinking it kind of tasteless to venerate the instrument of torment and death of their saviour.
However, Jesus’ death and ressurection are so central to Christian belief that it kind of makes sense. As it says in Corinthians: “And if Christ has not been raised, our preaching is useless and so is your faith.”
I think they should had stayed with the fish symbol.
Dude, if she’s telling you that Jesus is her boyfriend, it probably means she not interested.
@Integral: I think it wasn’t completley uncommon, actually, to paint Jesus with blisters during the plague.
I always assumed that the cross symbol was due to Luke 9:23- Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.”
The cross is a symbol of self-sacrifice, something that Christians are also supposed to commit to, in their following of Jesus’ teachings.
My understanding is that early Christianity didn’t really have any symbols, in reference to the ‘no graven images’ edict they inherited from Judaism.
The veneration of the cross, as I understand it, dates back to when Christianity was operating as a sort of mystery cult within the Roman Empire, making some inroads amongst the poor and the downtrodden, and the priests discovered that it was really difficult to sell a religion without symbols to people used to the great temples and statues of the Roman Empire (symbology they mostly inherited from the Greeks). Since they still felt uncomfortable making images of Christ himself, they instead used the cross as an image, as that was something that all the people they were trying to recruit could understand.
All I want for Christmas is for people to stop whitewashing Jesus.
That guy looks very much like Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. Like his face is eerily similar.
Yeah, I understand that the resurrection comes from roots in the mystery cult tradition.