Would you like to hear the good news about Jesus Christ?
I suppose I should preface this by saying it’s only good news for evil misandrist women who want to make life as hard as possible for men, and (of course) f0r self-hating manginas. But here it is, straight from the Black Pill blog (formerly Omega Virgin Revolt).
No real-life dude can possibly live up to Jesus as a boyfriend.
In Christian churches, many women treat Jesus not as their savior as such, but as they’re boyfriend. It “works” for them since they’re dealing with someone they are only imagining in their heads. However, it creates a huge problem for Christian men since no man can compete with the Jesus boyfriend women have inside their heads.
So God’s Match for You is … His son, the carpenter?
To Christians, Jesus is God, and no man can compete with God, much less what women have in their own heads with treating Jesus as their boyfriend.
Imaginary Jesus boyfriend is the ultimate Alpha and Omega Male.
The Christian dating advice industry doesn’t deal with this problem and won’t even admit it exists.
Well, the “Christian dating advice industry” may not, but Wikihow sort of does.
But men who are not Jesus can take comfort in one thing: When Jesus returns to earth, he’ll have to deal with false accusations just like mortal men.
If Jesus were to come back, millions of Christian women would have their illusion shattered that Jesus is their boyfriend. This would lead to women falsely accusing Jesus of rape to get back at him. The same false accusation bandwagon effect that happened to Bill Cosby would happen to Jesus.
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned!
Just remember, not even Jesus can avoid false accusations from women. If the son of God can’t, then you won’t be able to either if you spend enough time with women.
In other words, the only solution is COMGTOW — “Children of Men” Going Their Own Way.
I gotta say, when I read the phrase “when Jesus returns”, I sure didn’t see the next clause coming.
I actually could see how Jesus being a pretty good boyfriend, if some of the recent debate by historians that Mary Magdalene may in fact have been his wife (meaning he’d wasn’t celibate) is anything to go by. Any guy that tolerant of sex workers seems like a pretty cool dude to me.
I’ve seen jokes online about how movie Jesuses always tend to be studs (and white, but that’s another story). I’d totes be cool with Ewan McGregor, Christian Bale, Diego Morgado, or Jeffrey Hunter. http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/gallery/jesus-film-tv-17-devilishly-430438/1-haaz-sleiman-killing-jesus
You know, what Christian treats Jesus as their boyfriend? Where is THAT self-insert Bible fan fiction? Is Judas Jesus’ rival for so-and-so affections and THAT’S why Judas got Jesus crucified? Does Jesus change his name to Vampire and go all gawff? Do they go to Bethlehem’s Ouran Academy? How about Immaculate Male Conception?
I have to laugh at the idea of Jesus coming back to Earth and the current sociopolitical systems remaining in place, so that Jesus could be arrested on rape charges. What kind of vision of Christian eschatology does this dude have that that could be a plausible scenario? Has this guy ever spoken to a Christian?
Let us all rejoice, for the sentence “The same false accusation bandwagon effect that happened to Bill Cosby would happen to Jesus” has been written. It was always going to be written, and now it has been written. Another piece of human destiny achieved.
Oh yes, Christian men famously hold only themselves to a very high standard and have absolutely NO arbitrary or restrictive expectations of women. You know those pesky Christian women – walking all over everyone in the church leadership, participating in daily orgies, having totally safe, affordable, and shame-free access to birth control and abortion… You know, doing all the things Christian women famously get to do all the time.
he wouldnt be safe of red pillers accusing him of being a mangina as well
“he wouldnt be safe of red pillers accusing him of being a mangina as well”
“The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”
“Fucking Beta Mangina. “
In the red pill version of end times theology, they all get raptured and the antichrist is a fat, lesbian feminist. All the feminists and manginas get left behind.
Actually, I like this scenario. Can this please happen in real life? A world where all the misogynists get whisked off the planet? Yes please!
Oh, and the antichrist also has short dyed hair. Can’t leave that detail out.
Isn’t this like complaining that no philanthropist can compare to Father Christmas?
Clearly Jesus is a Beta male. With the long hair and even longer sermons about loving thy neighbor and all of the peace and kindness nonsense he simply can’t compete. Someone gets in his way and this loser simply turns the other cheek. Real women want a real deity! Like Zeus! When Hera got uppity Zeus and his thousand armed bros did her right. By throwing rocks at her until she submitted.
/end sarcasm
I’m reminded of another post: https://www.wehuntedthemammoth.com/2014/11/17/manosphere-philosopher-f-roger-devlin-asks-is-the-violence-against-women-act-an-attempt-to-get-back-at-men-for-their-failure-to-put-women-in-their-place/
It’s clear that some of these guys have forgotten that the word “rape” refers to a specific kind of crime that sometimes men commit against women. They constantly discuss and theorize “false rape accusation” but if they hear the word “rape” by itself their only response is to assume that you are about to falsely accuse them.
What a stunning turd. When I thought MGTOW couldn’t get worse, it gets combined with dispensationalism and ridiculously poor theology.
Well, it just goes to show, there is no bottom.
I mean a big part of Christian philosophy is believing that you have intrinsic value simply because you are a creation of God. I scanned the wikihow link and it seems to be saying pretty much that….yada yada yada, god loves you (you have intrinsic value) therefore you don’t need to rely on another’s approval or love to validate your existence. Yes, I see how this is problematic for MRA types if women believe this.
I… I… I can only second Fruitloopsie’s pic.
That line made me make an ugly snort of laughter. Nice job, David.
Also, uh, isn’t Jesus supposed to come back during the End Times? And take the true believers to heaven, that sort of thing? Pretty sure they don’t have courts and a justice system like we do, up in heaven. So when exactly would these false rape charges happen? Pre-rapture? I don’t think there’s really gonna be time.
That got really weird really fast.
Jesus boyfriend.
Is Jesus all over the walls of their room like tigerbeat posters?
Well, I guess if things won’t work out with jesus as a boyfriend women will just have to enjoy themselves by riding the god carousel. And then settle down with plutus, the god of wealth, to live off his beta god bucks./s
I wonder if boyfriend Jesus, Schrödinger’s Brad Pitt and Chad ever get together to laugh at these fools.
Could we settle down with Dionysus? He’s most likely got the alpha dick all us feeemales crave.
“someone they are only imagining in their head …”
Truly, the enlightened among us imagine in our peniseses.
I’m also struck by the idea of “The Passion of the Huxtable,” I’m actually pretty sure that was the takeaway image the blackskullydoompilldoom brigade was intending to convey, so I’ma just run with it.
http://images4.fanpop.com/image/polls/548000/548960_1287797931364_full.jpg
Of course Jesus is a Beta Male. He hasn’t even come two times yet!
… I’ll show myself out, thanks.
The laugh I just had would have pretty much made me a Viking, LordCrowstaff.
For some reason this reminds me of Dostoevsky’s The Grand Inquisitor, if Dostoevsky was an embittered PUA.
Jesus Christ comes back to Earth in Edmonton, Canada. The next day he is arrested on a false charge of rape by a coalition of leading Feminazis and sentenced to pay alimony and child support from jail for the rest of his life. Anita Sarkeesian visits him in his cell and rambles at him in a gigantic, one-sentence monologue, saying that society no longer needs men and they should all be castrated for the good of the people, and that Cultural Marxism alone can lead people to enlightenment. Jesus says nothing the whole time, merely sits there with a look of Amused Mastery on his face.
I just remembered that according to the Bible, Jesus and his disciples lived off the beta bucks of Mary Magdalene and Susanna, at least for some time. (Since the Bible actually never says that Mary Magdalene was a prostitute, and since prostitutes usually didn’t have that much money at the time anyway, I’ve read scholars who argue that she and Susanna were most likely wealthy widows – that would explain why they both had money, could do with their money as they pleased and had the opportunity to follow Jesus around.) Does that make Jesus super alpha or even more beta? What does it mean, really, if a woman supports a man?
I’ve always snarked that if Jesus came back, America’s religious right would immediately have him re-crucified for being a “Socialist commie [every slur ever]-lover”…
… Of course, the difference is that the Bible agrees with me and just facepalms at this dumbass.
And now, a message from my cat, who’s turned this thirty-second eye-roll into a ten-minute ordeal because he won’t get off the bloody keyboard, so he clearly has something important to say:
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Thankyou, Levi. We’re all enlightened by your furry wisdom.
@Dvarg
Well, I agree with the theory that Mary Magdalene was probably Jesus’ wife, so he was definitely a beta. Probably a cuck, too. You just know how those wimminzes are! [/s]