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When Jesus returns, will hordes of jealous women falsely accuse him of rape?

Hey girl, I brought you some fish.
Hey girl, I brought you some fish.

Would you like to hear the good news about Jesus Christ?

I suppose I should preface this by saying it’s only good news for evil misandrist women who want to make life as hard as possible for men, and (of course) f0r self-hating manginas. But here it is, straight from the Black Pill blog (formerly Omega Virgin Revolt).

No real-life dude can possibly live up to Jesus as a boyfriend.

In Christian churches, many women treat Jesus not as their savior as such, but as they’re boyfriend.  It “works” for them since they’re dealing with someone they are only imagining in their heads.  However, it creates a huge problem for Christian men since no man can compete with the Jesus boyfriend women have inside their heads.

So God’s Match for You is … His son, the carpenter?

To Christians, Jesus is God, and no man can compete with God, much less what women have in their own heads with treating Jesus as their boyfriend.

Imaginary Jesus boyfriend is the ultimate Alpha and Omega Male.

The Christian dating advice industry doesn’t deal with this problem and won’t even admit it exists.

Well, the “Christian dating advice industry” may not, but Wikihow sort of does.

But men who are not Jesus can take comfort in one thing: When Jesus returns to earth, he’ll have to deal with false accusations just like mortal men.

If Jesus were to come back, millions of Christian women would have their illusion shattered that Jesus is their boyfriend. This would lead to women falsely accusing Jesus of rape to get back at him. The same false accusation bandwagon effect that happened to Bill Cosby would happen to Jesus.

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned!

Just remember, not even Jesus can avoid false accusations from women.  If the son of God can’t, then you won’t be able to either if you spend enough time with women.

In other words, the only solution is COMGTOW —  “Children of Men” Going Their Own Way.

 

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Lady Mondegreen
Lady Mondegreen
9 years ago

Imaginary Jesus boyfriend is the ultimate Alpha and Omega Male

I see what you did there, David.

😀

bekabot
bekabot
9 years ago

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again:

{Christian men to Christian women}

“Listen here, sweetie pie, Jesus is not your boyfriend. You hear that? Jesus is so not your boyfriend. And why not? Because He can’t be, sweetheart — because Jesus is my boyfriend.”

Flying Mouse
Flying Mouse
9 years ago

@sunnysombrera – I’ve seen a few people in comment sections and on their personal blogs talk about their struggles to get their churches to accept that yes, young women have sex drives. I remember one teenage girl’s account of approaching her youth group leader about the dress code for an upcoming pool party. Girls were supposed to wear one-piece suits AND t-shirts AND shorts. Boys’ requirements boiled down to “don’t be naked.” The girl told her youth group leader that his clothing rules weren’t fair, and asked him to please make the boys wear shirts since naked male torsos could be a stumbling block for some of the girls. Youth group leader was shocked and murmured something about how he hadn’t thought about that before. He never did ask the boys to put on shirts, though. And the triple garment rule stayed in place for the girls.

I’ve identified as an agnostic for a few years now, but I used to really enjoy church. I’d probably go back and take the kids with me if I could find somewhere that would focus on Christ’s teachings instead of the strictest parts of the Pauline letters. Even the most liberal denominations in my area tend to fall in line with a lot of those fundamentalist/conservative evangelical beliefs, especially when it comes to what they teach young adults about sexuality and relationships. No thanks.

So we stay home on Sunday morning and eat doughnuts instead.

Tracy
Tracy
9 years ago

How would you accuse Jesus of rape? Who would you file a complaint with?

I was raised Catholic, and all our crucified Jesus’ were of the skinny, ribby variety. My friends and I never sat around and giggled dreamily about how cute Jesus was*. Corey Haim? Keifer in Lost Boys? John Taylor from Duran Duran? Hell yeah. Not so much with the Jesus.

*though Jesus was also God was also the Holy Ghost, which was confusing, and we regularly ate bits of him on Sunday. Not sexy, really.

lyophil
lyophil
9 years ago

@ Aunt Edna

“Jesus LOL’d.”

Now that was funny.

Dvärghundspossen
9 years ago

PIctures of Jesus, Mary and so on that looked north-European used to irk me as a kid. Not because I had any inklings about racism (I was SO ignorant as a kid… lived in a literally all-white village and very rarely saw non-white people except, sometimes, on the news on TV), but because even I knew that it was factually incorrect. Even I knew that people who live in southern countries don’t generally look the same as the majority population of Sweden.
I still have pics I draw as a child for Christmas of the nativity scene, and I always made everyone black-haired and slightly darker than myself.

Jarnsaxa
Jarnsaxa
9 years ago

I’d mind the white Jesuses a lot less if they weren’t so darned *prevalent.* And they’re *so* white. Blond, blue eyes, porcelain skin white. It’s weird. Even white people aren’t all blond and blue eyed.

dvarghundspossen
9 years ago

Järnsaxa, did you take your nym from the witch in Nordic mythology? Are you Scandinavian too? 🙂

Delphi Ote
Delphi Ote
9 years ago

“Just remember, not even Jesus can avoid false accusations from women.”

Hey, guy. You might want to tone down that rhetoric. Historically, when Christians start talking about a group of people making false accusations about their Messiah, it hasn’t ended well.

Jarnsaxa
Jarnsaxa
9 years ago

I am an American of Norwegian descent, yep!

skybison
skybison
9 years ago

comment image

How could Jesus even be prosecuted? He’s an omnipotent deity worshipped by most of the population… I don’t…. What the hell?

epitome of incomprehensibility

The Jesus boyfriend women have in their heads = a huge men’s rights crisis, apparently.

As is the distinction between “they’re” and “their” …okay, I’m a hypocrite on this count, because I mix up to/too/two fairly regularly. I need to pause for a moment and reflect, “What would my Jesus boyfriend do?”

CattyGal
CattyGal
9 years ago

To put Bill Cosby’s name into that steaming pile of utter shite is an absolute insult to all the young women he drugged and raped. The misogynistic prick who wrote that crap should be sectioned. I can’t believe there are men out there who actually believe women would falsely accuse Jesus of rape. You’d have to be one special kind of nut to even think that.

Paradoxical Intention
9 years ago

CattyGal: Please don’t use ableist terminology here. Lots of us commenters are mentally ill (I myself have depression and anxiety), so we don’t appreciate you equating their nonsense with mental illness.

We prefer to call them “self-deluded”, rather than any form of “crazy”, “nut”, or “insane”.

Robert
Robert
9 years ago

Paradoxical, I also suggest ‘utterly, pig-bitingly awful’. Too restrained?

CattyGal
CattyGal
9 years ago

@Paradoxical Intention: Was so outraged I guess I didn’t realise what I was saying. Sorry! Won’t happen again.

Chelsea Lee
Chelsea Lee
9 years ago

In what world are these delusional, indignant MRA idiots living in which false rape accusations are not only ubiquitous, but also in which every single woman is so petty and vindictive as to make false rape accusations against any and every man with whom they have a problem? I’d wager that the vast majority of MRAs don’t know any men who’ve been falsely accused of rape. Moreover, the vast majority of MRAs probably unknowingly socialize with actual rapists, but would assume female treachery if told. How have so many men been lead to believe that if a woman accuses a man of rape she’s automatically lying, even though statistically and rationally speaking it’s far more likely that she’s telling the truth?

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