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Sad news, white ladies: Some dude on the internet won’t date you any more

Well, ok, he WOULD date Audrey Hepburn
Well, ok, he WOULD date Audrey Hepburn

UPDATE 9/19/18: Yes, this is the same Mark Judge who allegedly helped Brett Kavanaugh allegedly try to rape a 15-year-old girl. For more on his creepy writings and even creepier videos, see my post here

By David Futrelle

I hope you’re happy, white ladies. You have tempted fate with your evil white lady ways, and now you will be paying the price: Some dude named Mark Judge will no longer be dating you.

To be fair, he won’t be dating white men either — he’s straight — but he seems a bit more worked up about the women.

In a post earlier this week on Real Clear Religion, Judge, a right-wing Catholic who is himself white, explained Why I Won’t Date Secular White Women. It’s really quite simple: they’re soulless sluts who don’t know how to love: 

White women in the West — like white men in the West — have lost their souls. Triangulated between a feminism that preaches perpetual outrage, a porn culture that turns love into a biology lesson (and which has made it into our sit-coms, movies, and music) and a hard conservatism that ignores art, many Western women have lost the capacity to appreciate and create beauty, to wonder and delight, to genuinely love.

I guess before “porn culture” and raunchy sit-coms, love was chaste and pure and didn’t require anyone to put any part of themselves inside of anyone else.

Oh, and he’s apparently not a big fan of iPhones, or women with a sense of humor.

Bombarded into spiritual catatonia by rage politics, digital devices, easy sex and irony, American women don’t seem to have wisdom, but sarcasm. Instead of joy, they trade in snark. They take flirting to be sexual harassment. Claiming to be “spiritual but not religious,” they are neither.

As he sees it, the western women of today just can’t compare to the much higher quality of western women in days gone by.

[I]t wasn’t so long ago that there were women in the West who had both brilliance and the capacity to wonder … Sophia Loren, Annie Leibovitz, Bille [sic] Holiday, Joan Didion, Elizabeth Taylor, Edna St. Vincent Millay, and Audrey Hepburn — to name just a few — were women who have no contemporary equal, at least in the decadent Western world.

It’s an odd list for many reasons. For one thing, nearly half the women on it (Sophia Loren, Annie Leibovitz, and Joan Didion) are very much alive. The “contemporary equal” of Annie Leibovitz would probably be … Annie Leibovitz. The “contemporary equal” of Joan Didion would be Joan Didion.

But let’s let that slide, because, aside from these six white gals, and “Bille” Holiday, we still don’t know what sorts of ladies he would date.

The answer? Foreign ladies who are all “receptive” and shit.

Compared to white women, women from other parts of the world offer genuine substance. I was lucky enough to date someone from another culture for several years. She was from India, and had in abundance what most women in the West have lost: what the philosopher Dietrich von Hildebrand called “receptivity to values.”

And it helps if they’ve never seen an ocean before.

Dating someone from India brought me into contact with a culture that is still receptive to values as von Hildebrand understood them. My girlfriend clutched my hand in delight at dance concerts and wept when she saw the Atlantic Ocean for the first time.

Also, fans of 2 Broke Girls are definitely OUT. Total dealbreaker!

India — like Africa and Japan and other non-Western cultures — still sees with open eyes. They have dance that flatters rather than degrades the female body, colorful and embodied religious ritual (hands folded, my girlfriend would greet the sun morning at the beach), and food as soulful restitution and not just bodily nourishment. We have cupcakes and 2 Broke Girls.

I haven’t ever watched 2 Broke Girls, but what the hell is wrong with cupcakes?

Weirdly, Judge seems to have forgotten that there are a variety of not-white women in the US that don’t come from exotic foreign lands. Aside from a brief snarky comment about Jennifer Lopez, he seems unaware that there are quite a few other latina women in the US. He mentions Africa, but doesn’t seem much interested in American-born black gals.

Of course, he might still be sore because a couple of years ago a black person stole his bike.

Well, he thinks it might have been a black person. In a 2012 post on the Daily Caller, Judge wrote about the day his feelings of white guilt ended forever — the day someone stole his beloved bike, which he’d left locked to his car in a predominantly black area in Washington DC.

I could be pretty certain that on Good Friday a member of the Little Sisters of the Poor, which is across the street from where I was parked, had not nicked my bike. Neither had the monks at the Dominican House of Studies on the corner. The students at Catholic University were on Easter break. That left the neighborhoods around the university. Since the time I was an undergrad at Catholic University in the 1980s, most of the crime that has occurred on campus has come from those neighborhoods, which are predominately black. …  I knew that the odds were very high that a black person had taken my bike — maybe one of the [neighborhood] kids … .

You know, Mark, it might be a good idea if you didn’t date anybody, regardless of race, creed, color, or national origin.

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fruitloopsie
fruitloopsie
9 years ago

Pussypowertantrum
” I need your help, white sisters! How do I pass myself off as a secular white woman and make myself totally undesirable to asshats like this guy? Do I dye my hair blonde? Or will just swearing a lot send them away?”

Swearing, hair dyes, makeup, wear “Indecent” clothing. Just a few that I can think of.

Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
9 years ago

@PussyPowerTantrum

Get Clueless and watch it a bunch of times and try to imitate Alicia Silverstone’s performance. And don’t forget Bad Girls from Valley High! In fact, forget Clueless and try to imitate Julie Benz and Nicole Bilderback (with empathist on Benz). Nothing says “Western Woman” than stuck up Valley Girl mannerisms! That’s about as Western as you can get without crossing the Pacific.

Bina
Bina
9 years ago

As for the OP, holy Orientalism Batman! In addition to India and Africa (as others have pointed out, this is supposed to be one culture now?) he lists Japan as one of those places where women are unsullied, which is a) laughable, b) creepy, and c) alarmingly close to where I live. I need your help, white sisters! How do I pass myself off as a secular white woman and make myself totally undesirable to asshats like this guy? Do I dye my hair blonde? Or will just swearing a lot send them away?

Cussing up a blue streak definitely helps. Particularly on the street, when harassed by strangers. So does flipping ’em the bird. Dressing like a total riot grrrl is also an asset. I couldn’t help but notice that I got harassed a lot more when I dressed and acted demurely than after I finally said to hell with all that and put on Doc Martens with a miniskirt, walked like I owned the sidewalk, and flipped harassers off on the street with no shame. And zero fucks given.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants

Wait, why is he blaming women’s loss of wonder on porn culture?

He sounds like another numbskull who thinks living cultures and ethnicities are just decoration. Here he is complaining about how shallow and jaded Western women are, all while spouting the most insensitive, hackneyed tripe about magical Closer To The Earth Asian Girls. Ooh! They have exotic religious rituals! They pray directly on the beach! They must be more in touch with nature!

What he really wants is a woman to look on him with wonder and weep, because he provides magnificent Western cultural bounty such as oceans and dance festivals. He wants a childlike waif who won’t have opinions or compare him to anyone.

American women don’t seem to have wisdom, but sarcasm

Who says wisdom and sarcasm are mutually exclusive?

Who says these American women who scoff at him and his idiotic, racist insistence on being treated like a god, don’t get swept off their feet by music and poetry and dance and literature (and other men/other women)? On what grounds does he make that assumption?

suffrajitsu
suffrajitsu
9 years ago

@PussyPowerTantrum: oh, gosh, Creepy White Guys. I too was a little sad when I found out that Tumblr no longer exists, though it’s probably better for my well-being that it isn’t.

There was one guy who mentioned The Kitchen God’s Wife by Amy Tan about how white American men like him would rescue Chinese women from their abusive Chinese husbands. That amused me because while it is true that the protagonist in The Kitchen God’s Wife leaves an abusive Chinese husband and then marries an American, that second husband wasn’t actually white–he was also of Chinese descent. So.

There was another guy who messaged a Korean-American woman in Korean, and then immediately followed that up with “I just said ‘hello beautiful princess’ in your language :)” When she was like, “Um, am I supposed to be impressed?” he started ranting about Asian women trying to be white and having no respect for their heritage. Ugh. (To dudes everywhere: “hello beautiful princess” is not a good way to greet women in ANY language.)

For what it’s worth, while I have known a few young Asian women who have expressed preference for white men (at least physically), this is *far* from the majority of girls and women I have known. Look up “Kpop idols”, those dudes have massive fan followings among young Asian girls. And appearance-wise they’re not exactly your big strong alpha males with lantern jaws and large wrist circumferences.

Raichu
Raichu
9 years ago

I experience joy and awe when I see beautiful things in nature, culture, and art. Am I doing the American white woman thing totally wrong? (Also, now I really want a cupcake.)

Aerinea
Aerinea
9 years ago

@Xanith Maybe follow a low-key version of Gyaru? It’s all about emulating American SoCal type girls, with fake tan, bleached hair, and loud mannerisms. So act like a Valley Girl and maybe he’ll stay away.

These men always make me want to dye my hair purple and start wearing gothic makeup again.

guest
guest
9 years ago

I remember writing a blog post years ago about how much more enthusiastic and excited about the world I used to be–when I was younger everything was new, everything was fascinating, everything was an adventure. I’m a lot older now, and it’s very rare that I encounter something entirely new to me; I know my own tastes and preferences well enough now that I rarely encounter a completely new genre/style/etc. that I unexpectedly love. Heck, when I first moved to the UK more than a decade ago everything was interesting and weird; now I can only sigh when I run into an American who is amazed that shops don’t keep eggs in the refrigerated section. But someone wrote a lovely comment to my post saying that however jaded I might feel, I have in the meantime developed so many new ways of appreciating the world that I couldn’t even have imagined when I was in my teens/20s…and he was right; I’ve traded in one set of pleasures for another. It’s sad to lose that wide-eyed enthusiasm, but one gains something else in return.

I’m wondering if this guy would actually have written, if he weren’t a pompous unselfreflective misogynist, ‘the world isn’t as exciting to me now as it was when I was 18, and that’s sad.’

Olive O'Sudden
Olive O'Sudden
9 years ago

@Paradoxical Intention

So, I turn to his wife and she giggles a bit and explains they don’t have biscuits and gravy in Canada (which I was able to confirm later with a friend of mine’s mom who came from Canada. She said she heard the gravy referred to as “floor paste”.)

Yeah, ‘biscuits and gravy’-type gravy is a white sausage gravy (kinda like a pork sausage-based bechamel sauce), which we don’t really do up here. (Our KFCs don’t even offer biscuits.) When we say ‘gravy’ we usually mean something brown–beef or yeast/mushroom-based–and our regional starch-with-gravy dish is fries with gravy or poutine (fries with gravy and cheese curds).

Paradoxical Intention
9 years ago

I remember reading somewhere that the “kawaii” culture and the gothic lolita culture came out of a desire to do things that would make them “undesirable” to men.

Girls who sported this fashion were often told that they should stop dressing like that because “men don’t like it”, so they started to do it more.

Paradoxical Intention
9 years ago

@Olive: So I’ve heard. 😀

I’ve never been to Canada, but I have southern roots, so it’s a thing in my family.

weirwoodtreehugger
9 years ago

What? White gravy exists? The only gravy I’ve ever had is brown. I guess that’s what happens when you live in a state that borders Canada!

Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
9 years ago

Poor people that never had sausage gravy. :/

Just take some chunks of sausage, brown it, add some water, flour, salt and pepper and BAM! White gravy.

Mikki
Mikki
9 years ago

The sad part is, even if he did move to another country, like India for example, and he found the most naive, vulnerable, submissive manic-pixie-dream-exotic that ever lived, who totally worshipped him as the great white god he thinks he is, he’d dump her once she turned twenty six, and find some other poor twelve year old to crush.

Tessa
Tessa
9 years ago

WWTH:
It does, and it’s wonderful. Where I live, most places that serve breakfast will have a dish that has sausage gravy. Even Taco Bell (I had assumed that was company wide, but now I’m wondering if their “country” items are only here in the south).

Kootiepatra
9 years ago

As a religious white woman who a) isn’t into porn, b) who has, in fact, prayed on the beach before, and c) whose favorite place in the city is our art museum—I guess I just don’t exist to this guy. Neither do the women I know who fit roughly those same categories.

This is a promising start.

Do you think we can we begin convincing him that other groups of women don’t exist, too? Preferably starting with the ones he highlights in the OP? “Dude, didn’t you hear? Women in India are marching through the streets with some pretty strong ideas about their own sexuality and bodily integrity (surely that’s a symptom of porn culture, no?). And if that weren’t enough, a whole bunch of them have already seen the ocean. I guess you’re just a few years too late. Time to console yourself with your own imagined backstories of ye olde Indian dream girls, and leave the present-day women alone.”

(And also: sausage gravy is the best gravy. Ohai there, sudden craving.)

BritterSweet
9 years ago

On one hand, despite not being a white woman I’m like

But when I think of the “exotic” women this guy plans to target, I’m like

Flying Mouse
Flying Mouse
9 years ago

Whoo-hoo! Biscuits and gravy should be the official food of misandry. And as Para’s story demonstrated, the official food of “gotta soak up all this booze before I go to bed.” 🙂

Poutine is also amazing. I found some cheese curds yesterday (they’re a rarity in my part of the world unless you’re into home dairy making), and I have great plans to introduce them to gravy and fries this weekend. Mmmm.

Side note: I think all of us decadent, snarky ruined women have demonstrated more joy at the thought of good food than the dude in the OP has probably experienced in his entire life. Maybe there’s a deeper reason why he reviles the cupcake so.

I couldn’t help but notice that I got harassed a lot more when I dressed and acted demurely than after I finally said to hell with all that and put on Doc Martens with a miniskirt, walked like I owned the sidewalk, and flipped harassers off on the street with no shame. And zero fucks given.

My personal style is somewhere between “detergent-commerical soccer mom,” “movie idea of a librarian” and “Muffy Vanderbilt spends a week in the Hamptons,” but for a while in college I tried to sexy it up when I went out dancing. Short skirts, strapless tops, high heels, the whole nine yards. I got repeatedly touched by strangers ONE TIME: when I was wearing black pants and a long-sleeved, boat neck shirt (ie, the night it was cold and I just couldn’t be bothered to freeze my ass on the way from the car to the club). The minute my boyfriend would step away, dudes would start wandering by to run their hands down my arms or try to touch my neck. Ugh.

Moral of the story – you can’t fucking win. So be like Bina: do what you want, and OWN IT.

Zolnier
Zolnier
9 years ago

Because every agnostic woman wants an uber religious husband apparently.

schwadevivre
schwadevivre
9 years ago

What a fine selection of ladies for a right-wing Catholic to desire

Audrey was a Humanist, Edna St Vincent Millais was bisexual, Lady Day had many problems and was no fan of religious racists, Elizabeth Taylor had drug and alcohol problems together with a foul temper and a fine command of invective.

Sophia Loren is Catholic but at the height of her fame expressed the opinion that priests should be allowed to marry and, I believe, has been outspoken in her support of feminism. Annie Leibovitz of Jewish descent and non observant, she and Susan Sontag were lovers in the romantic sense; Ms Leibovitz had a child out of wedlock and twins by a surrogate mother. Didion is said to be agnostic

proxieme
proxieme
9 years ago

A bit off topic, but I thought you all would like these chicks:

http://imgur.com/frbmcIB

The first one just as it was hatching!

http://imgur.com/q75nBUM

I hope that they’re appropriate brain bleach.

Holytape
9 years ago

Mark Judge came from world wide web,
In the basement he was hatin’ everyone,
But he never gave in much mind
Even as he was losing his mind
He sayes, I’l only date idealize submissive women
Said, hey babe, take a walk on the wild side
And the colored girls go,

Shit shit shit shit Shit shit shit shit
Shit shit shit shit Shit shit shit shit
Shit shit shit shit Shit shit shit shit
Shit shit shit shit Shit shit shit shit
Shit shit shit shit Just go away…….

Read more: Lou Reed – Walk On The Wild Side Lyrics | MetroLyrics

fromafar2013
9 years ago

American women don’t seem to have wisdom, but sarcasm. Instead of joy, they trade in snark.

Spoken like someone who’s had his rhetorical ass handed to him by a smarter, snarkier woman many a time. Bitter much? “I don’t understand why women keep responding to my inane and insulting comments with wit and sarcasm! Must be something wrong with women!”

India — like Africa and Japan and other non-Western cultures

*sings* One of these things is not like the other!

Okay, now I’m going to go read the other comments.

Lorna
Lorna
9 years ago

Billie Holliday and Edna St Vincent Mallay were lesbians. Billie Holliday & Elizabeth Taylor had serious substance abuse issues. Elizabeth Taylor married & divorced many times. I’m not saying any of this to disrespect these women – it’s great to be a lesbian & all substance abuse issues & broken relationships show is that your a flawed human being (like everyone else). The point I’m making is that the women of the past that he idolizes as Saints, martyrs & virgins were just as human & flawed as the women today he misogynisticly vilifies for not living up to his puritanical standards.

ceebarks
ceebarks
9 years ago

those are CUTE chicks proxieme!!! Did you incubate them? I’ve got 12 hens and a roo but haven’t ever tried hatching any eggs… totally want to, though. My kids have been watching baby-chick-hatching vids on youtube lately.