Categories
antifeminism drama kings entitled babies evil iphone using women grandiosity men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny racism western women suck

Sad news, white ladies: Some dude on the internet won’t date you any more

Well, ok, he WOULD date Audrey Hepburn
Well, ok, he WOULD date Audrey Hepburn

UPDATE 9/19/18: Yes, this is the same Mark Judge who allegedly helped Brett Kavanaugh allegedly try to rape a 15-year-old girl. For more on his creepy writings and even creepier videos, see my post here

By David Futrelle

I hope you’re happy, white ladies. You have tempted fate with your evil white lady ways, and now you will be paying the price: Some dude named Mark Judge will no longer be dating you.

To be fair, he won’t be dating white men either — he’s straight — but he seems a bit more worked up about the women.

In a post earlier this week on Real Clear Religion, Judge, a right-wing Catholic who is himself white, explained Why I Won’t Date Secular White Women. It’s really quite simple: they’re soulless sluts who don’t know how to love: 

White women in the West — like white men in the West — have lost their souls. Triangulated between a feminism that preaches perpetual outrage, a porn culture that turns love into a biology lesson (and which has made it into our sit-coms, movies, and music) and a hard conservatism that ignores art, many Western women have lost the capacity to appreciate and create beauty, to wonder and delight, to genuinely love.

I guess before “porn culture” and raunchy sit-coms, love was chaste and pure and didn’t require anyone to put any part of themselves inside of anyone else.

Oh, and he’s apparently not a big fan of iPhones, or women with a sense of humor.

Bombarded into spiritual catatonia by rage politics, digital devices, easy sex and irony, American women don’t seem to have wisdom, but sarcasm. Instead of joy, they trade in snark. They take flirting to be sexual harassment. Claiming to be “spiritual but not religious,” they are neither.

As he sees it, the western women of today just can’t compare to the much higher quality of western women in days gone by.

[I]t wasn’t so long ago that there were women in the West who had both brilliance and the capacity to wonder … Sophia Loren, Annie Leibovitz, Bille [sic] Holiday, Joan Didion, Elizabeth Taylor, Edna St. Vincent Millay, and Audrey Hepburn — to name just a few — were women who have no contemporary equal, at least in the decadent Western world.

It’s an odd list for many reasons. For one thing, nearly half the women on it (Sophia Loren, Annie Leibovitz, and Joan Didion) are very much alive. The “contemporary equal” of Annie Leibovitz would probably be … Annie Leibovitz. The “contemporary equal” of Joan Didion would be Joan Didion.

But let’s let that slide, because, aside from these six white gals, and “Bille” Holiday, we still don’t know what sorts of ladies he would date.

The answer? Foreign ladies who are all “receptive” and shit.

Compared to white women, women from other parts of the world offer genuine substance. I was lucky enough to date someone from another culture for several years. She was from India, and had in abundance what most women in the West have lost: what the philosopher Dietrich von Hildebrand called “receptivity to values.”

And it helps if they’ve never seen an ocean before.

Dating someone from India brought me into contact with a culture that is still receptive to values as von Hildebrand understood them. My girlfriend clutched my hand in delight at dance concerts and wept when she saw the Atlantic Ocean for the first time.

Also, fans of 2 Broke Girls are definitely OUT. Total dealbreaker!

India — like Africa and Japan and other non-Western cultures — still sees with open eyes. They have dance that flatters rather than degrades the female body, colorful and embodied religious ritual (hands folded, my girlfriend would greet the sun morning at the beach), and food as soulful restitution and not just bodily nourishment. We have cupcakes and 2 Broke Girls.

I haven’t ever watched 2 Broke Girls, but what the hell is wrong with cupcakes?

Weirdly, Judge seems to have forgotten that there are a variety of not-white women in the US that don’t come from exotic foreign lands. Aside from a brief snarky comment about Jennifer Lopez, he seems unaware that there are quite a few other latina women in the US. He mentions Africa, but doesn’t seem much interested in American-born black gals.

Of course, he might still be sore because a couple of years ago a black person stole his bike.

Well, he thinks it might have been a black person. In a 2012 post on the Daily Caller, Judge wrote about the day his feelings of white guilt ended forever — the day someone stole his beloved bike, which he’d left locked to his car in a predominantly black area in Washington DC.

I could be pretty certain that on Good Friday a member of the Little Sisters of the Poor, which is across the street from where I was parked, had not nicked my bike. Neither had the monks at the Dominican House of Studies on the corner. The students at Catholic University were on Easter break. That left the neighborhoods around the university. Since the time I was an undergrad at Catholic University in the 1980s, most of the crime that has occurred on campus has come from those neighborhoods, which are predominately black. …  I knew that the odds were very high that a black person had taken my bike — maybe one of the [neighborhood] kids … .

You know, Mark, it might be a good idea if you didn’t date anybody, regardless of race, creed, color, or national origin.

We Hunted the Mammoth is an ad-free publication that relies on readers like YOU to survive. If you found this article useful, please consider donating a few bucks (or more than a few bucks) here.  Thanks!

Subscribe
Notify of
guest

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

120 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
fruitloopsie
fruitloopsie
6 years ago

Pussypowertantrum
” I need your help, white sisters! How do I pass myself off as a secular white woman and make myself totally undesirable to asshats like this guy? Do I dye my hair blonde? Or will just swearing a lot send them away?”

Swearing, hair dyes, makeup, wear “Indecent” clothing. Just a few that I can think of.

Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
6 years ago

@PussyPowerTantrum

Get Clueless and watch it a bunch of times and try to imitate Alicia Silverstone’s performance. And don’t forget Bad Girls from Valley High! In fact, forget Clueless and try to imitate Julie Benz and Nicole Bilderback (with empathist on Benz). Nothing says “Western Woman” than stuck up Valley Girl mannerisms! That’s about as Western as you can get without crossing the Pacific.

Bina
Bina
6 years ago

As for the OP, holy Orientalism Batman! In addition to India and Africa (as others have pointed out, this is supposed to be one culture now?) he lists Japan as one of those places where women are unsullied, which is a) laughable, b) creepy, and c) alarmingly close to where I live. I need your help, white sisters! How do I pass myself off as a secular white woman and make myself totally undesirable to asshats like this guy? Do I dye my hair blonde? Or will just swearing a lot send them away?

Cussing up a blue streak definitely helps. Particularly on the street, when harassed by strangers. So does flipping ’em the bird. Dressing like a total riot grrrl is also an asset. I couldn’t help but notice that I got harassed a lot more when I dressed and acted demurely than after I finally said to hell with all that and put on Doc Martens with a miniskirt, walked like I owned the sidewalk, and flipped harassers off on the street with no shame. And zero fucks given.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants

Wait, why is he blaming women’s loss of wonder on porn culture?

He sounds like another numbskull who thinks living cultures and ethnicities are just decoration. Here he is complaining about how shallow and jaded Western women are, all while spouting the most insensitive, hackneyed tripe about magical Closer To The Earth Asian Girls. Ooh! They have exotic religious rituals! They pray directly on the beach! They must be more in touch with nature!

What he really wants is a woman to look on him with wonder and weep, because he provides magnificent Western cultural bounty such as oceans and dance festivals. He wants a childlike waif who won’t have opinions or compare him to anyone.

American women don’t seem to have wisdom, but sarcasm

Who says wisdom and sarcasm are mutually exclusive?

Who says these American women who scoff at him and his idiotic, racist insistence on being treated like a god, don’t get swept off their feet by music and poetry and dance and literature (and other men/other women)? On what grounds does he make that assumption?

suffrajitsu
suffrajitsu
6 years ago

@PussyPowerTantrum: oh, gosh, Creepy White Guys. I too was a little sad when I found out that Tumblr no longer exists, though it’s probably better for my well-being that it isn’t.

There was one guy who mentioned The Kitchen God’s Wife by Amy Tan about how white American men like him would rescue Chinese women from their abusive Chinese husbands. That amused me because while it is true that the protagonist in The Kitchen God’s Wife leaves an abusive Chinese husband and then marries an American, that second husband wasn’t actually white–he was also of Chinese descent. So.

There was another guy who messaged a Korean-American woman in Korean, and then immediately followed that up with “I just said ‘hello beautiful princess’ in your language :)” When she was like, “Um, am I supposed to be impressed?” he started ranting about Asian women trying to be white and having no respect for their heritage. Ugh. (To dudes everywhere: “hello beautiful princess” is not a good way to greet women in ANY language.)

For what it’s worth, while I have known a few young Asian women who have expressed preference for white men (at least physically), this is *far* from the majority of girls and women I have known. Look up “Kpop idols”, those dudes have massive fan followings among young Asian girls. And appearance-wise they’re not exactly your big strong alpha males with lantern jaws and large wrist circumferences.

Raichu
Raichu
6 years ago

I experience joy and awe when I see beautiful things in nature, culture, and art. Am I doing the American white woman thing totally wrong? (Also, now I really want a cupcake.)

Aerinea
Aerinea
6 years ago

@Xanith Maybe follow a low-key version of Gyaru? It’s all about emulating American SoCal type girls, with fake tan, bleached hair, and loud mannerisms. So act like a Valley Girl and maybe he’ll stay away.

These men always make me want to dye my hair purple and start wearing gothic makeup again.

guest
guest
6 years ago

I remember writing a blog post years ago about how much more enthusiastic and excited about the world I used to be–when I was younger everything was new, everything was fascinating, everything was an adventure. I’m a lot older now, and it’s very rare that I encounter something entirely new to me; I know my own tastes and preferences well enough now that I rarely encounter a completely new genre/style/etc. that I unexpectedly love. Heck, when I first moved to the UK more than a decade ago everything was interesting and weird; now I can only sigh when I run into an American who is amazed that shops don’t keep eggs in the refrigerated section. But someone wrote a lovely comment to my post saying that however jaded I might feel, I have in the meantime developed so many new ways of appreciating the world that I couldn’t even have imagined when I was in my teens/20s…and he was right; I’ve traded in one set of pleasures for another. It’s sad to lose that wide-eyed enthusiasm, but one gains something else in return.

I’m wondering if this guy would actually have written, if he weren’t a pompous unselfreflective misogynist, ‘the world isn’t as exciting to me now as it was when I was 18, and that’s sad.’

Olive O'Sudden
Olive O'Sudden
6 years ago

@Paradoxical Intention

So, I turn to his wife and she giggles a bit and explains they don’t have biscuits and gravy in Canada (which I was able to confirm later with a friend of mine’s mom who came from Canada. She said she heard the gravy referred to as “floor paste”.)

Yeah, ‘biscuits and gravy’-type gravy is a white sausage gravy (kinda like a pork sausage-based bechamel sauce), which we don’t really do up here. (Our KFCs don’t even offer biscuits.) When we say ‘gravy’ we usually mean something brown–beef or yeast/mushroom-based–and our regional starch-with-gravy dish is fries with gravy or poutine (fries with gravy and cheese curds).

Paradoxical Intention
6 years ago

I remember reading somewhere that the “kawaii” culture and the gothic lolita culture came out of a desire to do things that would make them “undesirable” to men.

Girls who sported this fashion were often told that they should stop dressing like that because “men don’t like it”, so they started to do it more.

Paradoxical Intention
6 years ago

@Olive: So I’ve heard. 😀

I’ve never been to Canada, but I have southern roots, so it’s a thing in my family.

weirwoodtreehugger
6 years ago

What? White gravy exists? The only gravy I’ve ever had is brown. I guess that’s what happens when you live in a state that borders Canada!

Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
6 years ago

Poor people that never had sausage gravy. :/

Just take some chunks of sausage, brown it, add some water, flour, salt and pepper and BAM! White gravy.

Mikki
Mikki
6 years ago

The sad part is, even if he did move to another country, like India for example, and he found the most naive, vulnerable, submissive manic-pixie-dream-exotic that ever lived, who totally worshipped him as the great white god he thinks he is, he’d dump her once she turned twenty six, and find some other poor twelve year old to crush.

Tessa
6 years ago

WWTH:
It does, and it’s wonderful. Where I live, most places that serve breakfast will have a dish that has sausage gravy. Even Taco Bell (I had assumed that was company wide, but now I’m wondering if their “country” items are only here in the south).

Kootiepatra
6 years ago

As a religious white woman who a) isn’t into porn, b) who has, in fact, prayed on the beach before, and c) whose favorite place in the city is our art museum—I guess I just don’t exist to this guy. Neither do the women I know who fit roughly those same categories.

This is a promising start.

Do you think we can we begin convincing him that other groups of women don’t exist, too? Preferably starting with the ones he highlights in the OP? “Dude, didn’t you hear? Women in India are marching through the streets with some pretty strong ideas about their own sexuality and bodily integrity (surely that’s a symptom of porn culture, no?). And if that weren’t enough, a whole bunch of them have already seen the ocean. I guess you’re just a few years too late. Time to console yourself with your own imagined backstories of ye olde Indian dream girls, and leave the present-day women alone.”

(And also: sausage gravy is the best gravy. Ohai there, sudden craving.)

BritterSweet
6 years ago

On one hand, despite not being a white woman I’m like

But when I think of the “exotic” women this guy plans to target, I’m like

Flying Mouse
Flying Mouse
6 years ago

Whoo-hoo! Biscuits and gravy should be the official food of misandry. And as Para’s story demonstrated, the official food of “gotta soak up all this booze before I go to bed.” 🙂

Poutine is also amazing. I found some cheese curds yesterday (they’re a rarity in my part of the world unless you’re into home dairy making), and I have great plans to introduce them to gravy and fries this weekend. Mmmm.

Side note: I think all of us decadent, snarky ruined women have demonstrated more joy at the thought of good food than the dude in the OP has probably experienced in his entire life. Maybe there’s a deeper reason why he reviles the cupcake so.

I couldn’t help but notice that I got harassed a lot more when I dressed and acted demurely than after I finally said to hell with all that and put on Doc Martens with a miniskirt, walked like I owned the sidewalk, and flipped harassers off on the street with no shame. And zero fucks given.

My personal style is somewhere between “detergent-commerical soccer mom,” “movie idea of a librarian” and “Muffy Vanderbilt spends a week in the Hamptons,” but for a while in college I tried to sexy it up when I went out dancing. Short skirts, strapless tops, high heels, the whole nine yards. I got repeatedly touched by strangers ONE TIME: when I was wearing black pants and a long-sleeved, boat neck shirt (ie, the night it was cold and I just couldn’t be bothered to freeze my ass on the way from the car to the club). The minute my boyfriend would step away, dudes would start wandering by to run their hands down my arms or try to touch my neck. Ugh.

Moral of the story – you can’t fucking win. So be like Bina: do what you want, and OWN IT.

Zolnier
Zolnier
6 years ago

Because every agnostic woman wants an uber religious husband apparently.

schwadevivre
6 years ago

What a fine selection of ladies for a right-wing Catholic to desire

Audrey was a Humanist, Edna St Vincent Millais was bisexual, Lady Day had many problems and was no fan of religious racists, Elizabeth Taylor had drug and alcohol problems together with a foul temper and a fine command of invective.

Sophia Loren is Catholic but at the height of her fame expressed the opinion that priests should be allowed to marry and, I believe, has been outspoken in her support of feminism. Annie Leibovitz of Jewish descent and non observant, she and Susan Sontag were lovers in the romantic sense; Ms Leibovitz had a child out of wedlock and twins by a surrogate mother. Didion is said to be agnostic

proxieme
proxieme
6 years ago

A bit off topic, but I thought you all would like these chicks:

http://imgur.com/frbmcIB

The first one just as it was hatching!

http://imgur.com/q75nBUM

I hope that they’re appropriate brain bleach.

Holytape
6 years ago

Mark Judge came from world wide web,
In the basement he was hatin’ everyone,
But he never gave in much mind
Even as he was losing his mind
He sayes, I’l only date idealize submissive women
Said, hey babe, take a walk on the wild side
And the colored girls go,

Shit shit shit shit Shit shit shit shit
Shit shit shit shit Shit shit shit shit
Shit shit shit shit Shit shit shit shit
Shit shit shit shit Shit shit shit shit
Shit shit shit shit Just go away…….

Read more: Lou Reed – Walk On The Wild Side Lyrics | MetroLyrics

fromafar2013
6 years ago

American women don’t seem to have wisdom, but sarcasm. Instead of joy, they trade in snark.

Spoken like someone who’s had his rhetorical ass handed to him by a smarter, snarkier woman many a time. Bitter much? “I don’t understand why women keep responding to my inane and insulting comments with wit and sarcasm! Must be something wrong with women!”

India — like Africa and Japan and other non-Western cultures

*sings* One of these things is not like the other!

Okay, now I’m going to go read the other comments.

Lorna
Lorna
6 years ago

Billie Holliday and Edna St Vincent Mallay were lesbians. Billie Holliday & Elizabeth Taylor had serious substance abuse issues. Elizabeth Taylor married & divorced many times. I’m not saying any of this to disrespect these women – it’s great to be a lesbian & all substance abuse issues & broken relationships show is that your a flawed human being (like everyone else). The point I’m making is that the women of the past that he idolizes as Saints, martyrs & virgins were just as human & flawed as the women today he misogynisticly vilifies for not living up to his puritanical standards.

ceebarks
ceebarks
6 years ago

those are CUTE chicks proxieme!!! Did you incubate them? I’ve got 12 hens and a roo but haven’t ever tried hatching any eggs… totally want to, though. My kids have been watching baby-chick-hatching vids on youtube lately.

proxieme
proxieme
6 years ago

ceebarks – Yes! We have one Easter Egger roo (ish? Maybe…we got him from someone who said that he’s an EE, but he looks like a Columbian Wyandotte with green legs) And a variety of hens.
These were hatched from our EE hen (and one Olive Egger egg thst snuck in).

If/when you and your kiddos hatch some, I’ll throw my rec in for the Brinsea Mini Advance Incubator. I blew some of my birthday money on that & an EcoGlow Brooder (which they seem to like more than a light – they cuddle underneath and peek out like it’s a hen).

fromafar2013
6 years ago

Oh, man the gravy comments!

I lived for a few years in the deep south of the US, but my parents both grew up in Alabama, so southern cooking is a staple in our now decidedly Yankee family. Sausage gravy and biscuits, corn fried okra and cheesy grits, hell yes.

Being vegetarian, I love the Gimmie Lean brand spicy sausage (It’s just like Jimmy Dean, same log shape and everything).

In a deep frying pan, cook it crumbled up in lots of oil until brown, don’t be afraid to grease it up. Add salt, pepper, sage and dry white flour enough to just coat the bottom of the pan and soak up the oil. Stir the flour into the oil and cook on medium heat until it starts to brown. This is key, browning the flour makes a huge difference in the flavor. Add 2% milk (or UNSWEETENED soy milk if you want a vegan version) enough to cover the sausage bits. Stir cooking on low until it starts to thicken. Add more or less milk per thickness preference. Serve over soft fluffy crumbly buttery southern style biscuits. Mmmmmmmm.

ceebarks
ceebarks
6 years ago

my other thought: being that there are more religious women in the US than religious men, and given that a lot of them put a lot of stock in marrying within the faith… it always amazes me when the religious guys get so mad about their dating/marriage options. From memories of my own religious upbringing, it seemed like young women in the church would pretty much overlook a lot of flaws if a dude would profess the faith and (bonus!) be a reasonably regular attender. Single guys tended to drop out more once they were out of their parents’ control, whereas more of the single women stuck around into adulthood, resulting in a pretty obviously lopsidedly female pool of church singles. A single guy who showed up once a week, seemed reasonably sincere about the faith and was even remotely passably stable never seemed to stay single for long.

I remember that and kinda get to wondering about these angry internet religious dudes… though perhaps things have changed and it’s true that even religious women aren’t as eager to be-married-for-its-own-sake as they once were.

ceebarks
ceebarks
6 years ago

If/when you and your kiddos hatch some, I’ll throw my rec in for the Brinsea Mini Advance Incubator. I blew some of my birthday money on that & an EcoGlow Brooder (which they seem to like more than a light – they cuddle underneath and peek out like it’s a hen).

Thanks for the recommendation! The catalogs are a little overwhelming.

Aw, I want an easter egger. lol I’ve got plymouth rocks and some hybrid red layers right now.

Need more coooops

sunnysombrera
6 years ago

@ceebarks

Yeah I think it’s that even religious women are in less of a rush to marry, but they’re also less willing to go down the “submissive wifey” road and make that clear from the get go. So angry religious dudes get angry that they can’t find a simpering sweetheart to “serve” them in matrimony (and turn to other cheek to any abuse they’re likely to dish out).

KSRay
KSRay
6 years ago

Compared to white women, women from other parts of the world

Not all Western women are white. Fun fact. Look it up sometime.

Flying Mouse
Flying Mouse
6 years ago

@ceebarks – When I was regular church attender, I noticed the same dynamic with church-going men versus church-going women. I tend to think that a lot of these ultra-religious guys who complain bitterly and openly about their dating options don’t want any of the perfectly normal godly women in their congregation. They want conventionally beautiful sylphs who will also be chaste, devoted, religious, and submissive wives and mothers. IOW, they’re the same garden-variety jerks who’re just trying to cloak their worldly preferences in religion.

Another thought on the OP dude’s laundry list of acceptable valorous women of yore: it could be that the dude KNOWS all of these women were into things that he would find personally abhorrent. He’s just willing to overlook it because these paragons were A) talented in ways he personally finds laudable, B) pleasing to the eye, or C) all of the above. Well, these women were secular harpies from hell, but at least they were BETTER harpies than we have on offer now. Women today with their tee-vee and their vainglorious pastries!

KSRay
KSRay
6 years ago

I commented before reading the whole thing. I willingly accept my punishment, and in the future will have more coffee before hitting Post.

Bina
Bina
6 years ago

I’m wondering if this guy would actually have written, if he weren’t a pompous unselfreflective misogynist, ‘the world isn’t as exciting to me now as it was when I was 18, and that’s sad.’

That’s it, isn’t it? He wants a little girl in woman’s clothing. Dude, please…no matter where in the world you go, women all grow up. Otherwise, they wouldn’t be women, they’d be kids, and you’d be breaking the law. (Surprise: Child marriage ISN’T legal in all those “exotic” lands full of innocent childlike waif-women! Lots of them have marriage ages of at least 18!)

What a fine selection of ladies for a right-wing Catholic to desire

Audrey was a Humanist, Edna St Vincent Millais was bisexual, Lady Day had many problems and was no fan of religious racists, Elizabeth Taylor had drug and alcohol problems together with a foul temper and a fine command of invective.

Sophia Loren is Catholic but at the height of her fame expressed the opinion that priests should be allowed to marry and, I believe, has been outspoken in her support of feminism. Annie Leibovitz of Jewish descent and non observant, she and Susan Sontag were lovers in the romantic sense; Ms Leibovitz had a child out of wedlock and twins by a surrogate mother. Didion is said to be agnostic

Yup. Add to that the fact that Sophia Loren was born in dire poverty and out of wedlock (her father was married, but not to her mother), and had to change her surname to obscure that sad little fact because it would have been a huge scandal otherwise. Honestly, this guy is so dimwitted and clueless, it’s no wonder he wants a woman who’s even less bright (or so he thinks). Otherwise, he could never keep up!

Bina
Bina
6 years ago

PS: Those chicks are teh squee! And I’ve never had sausage gravy, but that’s because my folks are German, and we eat our sausages with sauerkraut — the properly fermented kind, cooked with bay leaf and juniper berries. Biscuits are something I’ve had to learn to make from a cookbook, and I don’t associate them with sausage, either, although they’re great as a topping for turkey pot pie!

mcjuliek
mcjuliek
6 years ago

I have known in real life a guy who seems to think like this — Winston Wu, who is also notable for spreading this stuff online. (Jezebel profile here: http://jezebel.com/5874834/meet-the-webs-weirdest-authority-on-american-women-asian-men-and-ufos) He was a member of our science fiction group. He could be quite pleasant during an in-person conversation about Doctor Who, but the opinions he expressed on the online discussion list — yes, this was a while ago — were peculiar and got more peculiar all the time.

He seemed genuinely baffled as to why a discussion list made up largely of American women, or American men who were partnered with American women, took offense at his opinions regarding the inherent and objective awfulness of American women.

He also seemed genuinely surprised when it turned out that some of these amazing Russian women he was so impressed with were just after his money, and when they discovered he had none, they quickly lost interest. He came back from one trip with a harrowing story of getting robbed and abandoned, although none of us could drum up much sympathy.

He had a lot of strange opinions about everything, though. We used to joke that his skepticism meter was somehow reverse-calibrated, so that the weirder and less reasonable something was, the more likely he was to believe it.

theboost
theboost
6 years ago

I think the best thing is how this dude had a real connection to Elizabeth Taylor and them all. He really gets them, y’know? Not that he fantasizes about old movies, no. He understands them, and they him, on a spiritual level.

Emmy Rae
Emmy Rae
6 years ago

10 bucks says the truth is a woman who looked vaguely Indian started crying because this dude followed her to the beach.

Professor fate
Professor fate
6 years ago

when I read the phrase “why I won’t date secular white women” for some reason the jukebox of my mind started playing “Dancing in the Streets” by Martha and the Vandellas . (why these fellows feel this petulant sulking is something that will upset women is beyond me.

Regarding his real and not totally made up Indian girlfriend – India has a very old and very sophisticated culture – hell they wrote the Karma Sutra – which is why his portrait of her as a holy fool innocent girl-child rings pretty hollow.

And let’s face in another time he’d be complaining about the Tango or the Foxtrot.

Daniel Ross
6 years ago

Proxieme: Thank you. I didn’t realize how much I needed a stress antidote until I got it.

freemage
6 years ago

I can’t even…

I mean, even if he was just focusing on those women’s artistic achievements (which are all quite grand), they don’t really fit his bullshit entitlement checklist at all. One of Hepburn’s most famous roles is Breakfast at Tiffany’s, where she plays… well, the archetypal Western materialist girl who doles out clever quips and droll insults all day. And of course, Taylor’s role in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof was already mentioned.

And it’s not like there weren’t numerous actresses playing ‘traditional’ roles back in the day. Hell, 50s TV alone would’ve given him the whole host of June Cleaver types that seem to fit his apparent idea of How Things Should Be. (I almost said “How Women Should Be”, but it’s pretty clear he regards women as “things” anyway…).

Lolaphilologist
Lolaphilologist
6 years ago

oh Mark Judge. I would be heartbroken at your announcement, if only I knew who you were, and if I weren’t happily married to the most awesome dude myself, and if you weren’t a creepy racist dirt-bag who takes his last name as a life’s mission statement.

Paradoxical Intention
6 years ago

I just realized, I am kind of religious, but not in the way Marky here would like. XD

Nope, I’m sure he’d burn me at the stake if he could for being a sarcastic, materialistic, white witch. There’s some pleasure in being everything an asshole like Marky hates.

Just re-reading over his quotes again kind of makes me snicker. It all comes across as “You ladies aren’t doing everything right (like I’m doing it)!” It’s like he can’t comprehend that women aren’t a monolith, not everyone follows the same religion as he does, not everyone is a racist bag of half-melted used condoms, and Africa’s not a country.

In other news, water is wet and today is another day ending in y.

Slightly off topic, Death Parade is an amazing anime so far. I’m putting of watching the rest of it because I can only get the first eight episodes and I want to give myself some binge room, so I’m staving off with the Persona 4 anime, since I think that’s actually complete. (Even if it’s not, I can go play the game. >.>)

Pretty much, it’s about a group of beings called the Arbiters, who judge people when they die. You’re told that you’ll be sent to “heaven or hell”, but only because that’s a simple concept. In reality, it’s either “Reincarnation” or “The Void”. If you’re a good person, you get sent back, if you’re a bad person, your soul pretty much ceases to exist. To judge you, you have to play a game with another person, and the game will put you in an “extreme situation” to draw out your “inner darkness”. The Arbiter has all your memories, but that’s not sufficient to judge you upon.

Then other things happen, and there’s a lot of really interesting rules and systems in place, but I don’t want to ramble on about it, and I don’t want to spoil it. >.>

Fun fact: I tend to really love animes about how life after death works. Bleach is a notable example, but for fuck’s sake that’s running WAY too long. : P

Thalia
Thalia
6 years ago

And of course, Taylor’s role in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof was already mentioned.

Ha! If that was my mention, I actually meant her Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf role! But she had tons — Butterfield 8, for crying out loud.

It is so weird that he didn’t list Debbie Reynolds and Doris Day, or someone. Instead it’s the wicked mantrap who stole Debbie’s husband from the nice lady.

because reasons
because reasons
6 years ago

I definitely think he just made of list of Boner Pleasers, without thinking it through at all. Otherwise, he surely would have gone the Doris Day, June Cleaver route…or hell, even some actual lady-saints. That, or he thinks the ideal woman is some fictional character played by one of the mentioned actresses, instead of the actress herself-which a lot of people do confuse. Nope, definitely just a case of “Here are my top 5 BonerTingles.”

Moggie
Moggie
6 years ago

Paradoxical Intention:

I remember reading somewhere that the “kawaii” culture and the gothic lolita culture came out of a desire to do things that would make them “undesirable” to men.

In the novel Kamikaze Girls, written by the fashion designer Novala Takemoto (who is apparently something of an authority on Lolita fashion), the author describes it like so:
Lolitas possess a hard-boiled spirit at root that cannot be attained by men today. “Hard-boiled”, that stylishly cool attitude that originated among American men, has thus been passed to a segment of with-it girls in Japan called Lolitas … Lolita is a fusion of the spirit of punk rock with formal beauty that honors tradition.

Momoko is a Lolita-obsessed young woman stuck in the tracksuited boondocks of Shimotsuma. Since men barely feature in the story at all, it seems clear that she doesn’t wear frilly dresses and petticoats to either attract or repel men, but rather for herself, choosing fashion which she feels reflects who she truly is.

Ok, that was a bit silly, offering a work of fiction as a data point. It was really just an excuse to plug a fun book and offbeat film, the latter enlivened by a terrific performance from Anna Tsuchiya as a wannabe biker chick. Recommended!

freemage
6 years ago

Thalia: Whoops! Though of course, yeah, many of her roles qualify.

Seriously, it’s really sad when we can come up with better examples for these asshats than they can.

Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
6 years ago

@fromafar2013

I actually asked my mom how she made her sausage gravy, and your recipe is a lot alike, but she removes the sausage from the pan and make rue from the grease and then adds the sausage back in after it browns a bit and no sage.

She makes awesome gravy.

I also suggest different types of sausage, like Italian or maple syrup sausage. Italian sausage is spicy delicious and I LOVE me some maple syrup sausage gravy. 😀

Hambeast, Social Justice Hoo-Ha Glitterer
Hambeast, Social Justice Hoo-Ha Glitterer
6 years ago

I loosely adhere to the Church of Cynicism and Jadedness where sarcasm and snark are sacraments!

@Pussypowertantrum: Don’t forget to dance in a degrading manner! Whatever that means.

@Aerinea: I think Valley Girls only exist today in popular culture (and maybe Orange County, CA) because I’m from that valley and, even though I no longer live there, I spend a fair amount of time there helping out my dad; I never see anything like them in the area anymore. My dad still lives about 7 miles from the Sherman Oaks Galleria mall where they filmed “Fast Times at Ridgemont High” in the house I grew up in.

I graduated H.S. in 1978; we all talked like in the iconic song by Moon Zappa but gave it up after graduation. The first time I heard it was on the radio while I was stationed in Nebraska and it really astounded me that the way we talked in H.S. in “the Valley” would EVER be part of popular culture! And people STILL talk about them?! O_o

Lady Mondegreen
6 years ago

Does dude realize that Liebovitz is a lesbian, Millay was bisexual, and Holliday may have been bisexual as well? Does he know what Holliday did to survive when still a kid?

Does he know *anything* about these women, or did he just pick some women he knows jack-alk about, on the basis of “I admire what I know of her work, therefore she must have been like the soulful heterosexual innocent of my fantasies? I’m guessing the latter.