So one young fellow went to the Ask The Red Pill subreddit earlier today with what almost looked like a good question, at least for someone whose thoughts about women have been distorted by Red Pill thinking: “How can I learn to appreciate women for what they are?”
Alas, it turned out that his question, and his situation, was a bit more complicated than it at first appeared. For young somthsomth is not some predatory pickup artist who wants to challenge his own misogyny and learn how to appreciate women as more than mere sex objects.
No, there’s a bit more involved than that.
An introvert who lost his virginity at age 23 (not that there’s anything wrong with this), somthsomth is convinced that all the women who’ve had sex with him since then were just “doing it as a favour, thinking about someone else while at it.”
These days, he says, despite learning the correct Red Pill ways to score the HBs, he
ignore[s] women unless there is something in for me, business wise. … I don’t see any of this as a worthwhile conquest any more. I can be happy alone and by myself. Masturbate if needed. When our eyes lock I see them riding CC and think about how it really is. How they had someone elses tongue in their mouth last week and someone elses cock in them. Probably same tomorrow. Why would I even want to put my tongue there any more or worse, cunnilingus around the hole where so many others have been. This feeling makes me sick. To touch something like that.
Uh, what? I don’t think you need advice from Red Pillers. I mean, no one ever does, but that goes double in your case. What you need is to talk to a therapist. And I mean that literally. Your issues aren’t going to be solved on Reddit, even if you ask your questions somewhere less toxic than Ask TRP. Seriously: it is unlikely you will ever be happy unless you get actual professional help.
But, what the heck, let’s see what sort of advice the Red Pillers had for you.
“Now that you are becoming more attractive and have a wider selection of women, you will see that a lot of them are CC riding sluts with meaningless jobs and meaningless hobbies,” dinkle_berrg noted. “These girls are for fun, but I see they make you sick.”
The solution? Look for nice girls in that sea of shallow “CC riding sluts.” Even though, you know, they’re mostly shallow “CC riding sluts.”
pilledgod agreed, explaining that even though All Women Are Like That (AWALT), “some are more clean, fun, and rewarding overall.”
Others pointed out that it is possible for even committed Red Pillers to appreciate women as the clearly inferior but sometimes entertaining creatures they are.
“I used to be annoyed that girls were never philosophical,” wrote cofair, “but Sometimes you just want to live in the moment and stop being so cynical. They have a childlike wonder that I will never have again.”
RealRational had some very, er, rational thoughts on the matter.
I can definitely relate to that “ew” feeling you get when you realize what women really are. As others have said in here, there are good ones and bad ones. Looking at it as a transaction with assigned values is really the best way to do it. Some are higher value, decide where your floor is.
NOTE: Try to do the math in your head. It’s a little offputting to women if you whip out a calculator while you’re assigning values.
Also, remember that defective women can, to some degree, be repaired:
But the thing is that this is what women are. They can be trained to be better, just as boys can be made into men, TRP is very helpful in that regard. But you can never let your guard down with them, your frame. … .
The real question is: Are women worth more to you than booze and pot?
[A]ll you have to decide is if the risks are great enough for you to deny yourself this luxury, women. Women are a luxury, like alcohol or weed, a vice that you allow yourself as reward for hard work.
RealRational thinks that they probably are:
Personally I think if you deny yourself the experience of the feminine you are doing yourself great discredit. The masculine exists to drive innovation, progress. It is the embodiment of discipline, the only effective tool at shaping the universe according to your own will, your own desires. The feminine is our reward for doing so. It provides a safe harbor, a place of refuge from the toils of life.
Oh, and RealRational has some ReallyRational thoughts on homosexuality, which for some reason he feels the need to share at this point. Apparently it’s the fault of society not liking macho dudes enough?
The need for [the feminine] lies at the very heart of every man, which means “gays” are nature’s response to an imbalance. Society demonizes everything masculine? Nature says “fine, then both genders can be feminine and your entire species can die”. Fortunately for us nature is never absolute in it’s adjustments.
In the meantime, get out there and spin some plates!
Women, higher quality women, do have a lot to offer that will lessen your burden and make your toil much more bearable by virtue of providing you a healthy, happy home to find respite in which allows you to more fully rest which allows you to more effectively work. That’s what “home” is. But even a plate, if she’s able to offer you this safe haven for even a single night, is still valuable. Just less valuable than the former.
SariaLystra was also big on the whole “training” thing, although all he seemed to want to train women to do was to clean his house:
Make them into your personal maid. I’m not kidding: you’re instilling value into them and then getting something out of it. If she isn’t serving you, she’s not worth anything to you other than being a wet hole.
Balalasaurus summed up the whole Woman Question with a simple analogy. Because women are, essentially, just like dogs, only hopefully a bit less furry.
Dogs lick themselves whenever they feel like. They shit in public and don’t give a damn where. When they throw up, they usually eat their own puke.
Does that mean that they’re any less enjoyable as pets? Does it take anything away from the fact that they are man’s best friend? Similarly, women will behave the way they do because its their nature. You can’t hold it against them. Doing so will cause you endless frustration.
Exactly. So if a woman shits on your living room rug, or humps your leg, or starts drinking out of the toilet, remember: That’s just the way they are!
Also, Balalasaurus thinks that maybe our boy somthsomth should try a cooking class. Dogs love cooking!
What you could do is change the context where you meet women. For example instead of trying to meet women at a bar, instead meet them at places where you get to do the things you enjoy like a cooking class for example. I’m not saying that will eliminate the CC riders, but the quality of women that you will find will be that much closer to what you really want.
Just don’t start feeding them table scraps. That will encourage begging.
H/T — r/thebluepill
Maybe the guy asking the question is asexual or gray-asexual. Being somewhat grossed out by the, uh… *organic* nature of sex (with all the fluids and the awkwardness) sounds reasonable to me. Blaming it on one gender doesn’t, mind you. (Agree that counseling is a good idea.)
Why on earth would a Red Piller complain about women having sex with him “just as a favor”? (At first I actually felt a little sorry for him when he said that, because feeling people are just sleeping with you out of pity would normally suggest really painful insecurity, but then I read the rest and I don’t feel so sorry anymore.) Most people might feel bad that the women weren’t really enthusiastic about it, but TRPers don’t care about consent so it can’t be that. It’s like these guys go out of their way to be unsatisfied about their sex lives. They can have all the casual sex they claim to want, then start unnecessarily ruining it for themselves how many other dicks were there first.
I know you were referring to Chinese and not Japanese, but I’ve always wanted to try Okonomiyaki. It looks really good. (*¬*)
I really love Japanese snack foods too. They’re so light and flavorful, and I always feel good eating some of the sweeter snacks (like Pucca and Hello Panda cookies) because they help me kick my chocolate cravings, and they’re super cute too!
American snack foods can be really rich and heavy for me. : P
Jarnsaxa: That was exactly what I was thinking, maybe (probably not though) some gay issues (?). Definitely counselling recommended, because if he has these sort of issues now he will be crippled for any possible relationships in the future. The fact that he is questioning his feelings is a good sign, sadly he went to the last place on earth where he could get some good advice..
@Paradoxical Intention I’ve never tried Japanese pancakes, but I can confirm the Chinese ones are delicious!
http://www.the350degreeoven.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/DSC_0202fix.jpg
And YES on the Asian snack foods. My friends and I got all excited when our college convenience store turned out to have Pocky and mochi ice cream.
And from my ‘favourite’ ‘intellectual’ (high IQ no less) “I don;t like these MRMs but I aree with everyhting they say” commentator, Mr Robert Lyndsey, comes this gem:
“Apparently I Am Emotionally Unavailable”
https://robertlindsay.wordpress.com/2015/04/03/apparently-i-am-emotionally-unavailable/
Any (tiny) amount of sympathy that might possibly come from his honesty about himself is sadly quickly lost:
“1. He’s Already in a Relationship with Someone Else. I am single sometimes, but there is usually a woman or two, or three, or whatever, floating around somewhere in the wilds of my life. I am in some sort of a relationship most but not all of the time. Then again I am always collecting new ones, so hey. But yeah, you hook up with me, and chances are I am not alone.”
“2. He’s Not Ready for a Relationship. Ready for a relationship? Sure. I always am. Ready to settle down? Don’t think so.
This was a hard one to answer.
I do like serious relationships as opposed to just sex. For one thing, the sex is so much better when you and the woman are wildly in love with each other. Love makes sex better or even possible for women. Plus it makes them horny as all get out. Want to turn a woman into a wild, raving, nympho sex maniac ready, available and panting at all hours? Easy. Just get her to fall in love with you!
Men don’t need to be in love to have sex, but sex in a wild love affair is better than casual sex, FWB’s, hookups, or whatever. It’s just a lot more fun. Hard to explain.”
“3. He’s Self-Absorbed.
Yep. My fatal flaw. A common complaint is that I lack empathy or don’t care, but I do not believe that is on the mark. Instead, I am simply solipsistic. I am all wrapped up in myself all the time. So, yeah, other people come second. Sorry about that!”.
So he always has someone else on the side and is completely self absorbed, right great realtionship material…not. The man is a counseller’s dream, or perhaps nghtmare…
Let me just say how grateful I am that I don’t have to read more than the excerpts in this post, and by the end, even that was a bit much for me. Their views are so cringe-worthy and stomach-turning. I mean, how detached from reality can MRAs get? How can they go through life having not encountered real women and not realized that they are not like their horror-fantasy? Do they not have mothers? I remember some commenter mentioned an exchange they had with someone from the manosphere and asked if he thought his mother was like what he claimed all women are like. I have seen that some MRAs do say their mothers are whores, but I can’t believe even most MRAs think this. Maybe they are operating under a definition where “women” are only defined as people they’d have sex with, thereby exluding their mothers and female relatives? I guess that definition would also exclude women they consider unattractive because they wouldn’t want to sex them.
Yes, they are so total caguht in the ‘whore/wife&mother’ thing it is not funny.
“Yes I want to have sex with lots of women, if they have sex with me then they are sluts, but my wife has to be a virgin and not really like sex, because if she did then she would be a slut and I can’t marry a slut……” And so on…and on.
And they have so little self awareness as to be completely blind to that.
Send them all to Saudi Arabia I say, their ‘perfect land’.
@Paradoxical Intension
Okonomiyaki=very yes!!!
I was in Tokyo a few years ago and a japanese acquaintance of mine took me for okonomiyaki. Sooo good! I wasn’t quite brave enough to try them with natto (fermented soybeans) but they were otherwise so tasty!!
Do they think men and women have entirely different hobbies? Are reading and watching horror movies meaningless because I’m a woman and like those things? Or are they meaningful because those aren’t hobbies that are almost exclusively female?
Reading is meaningless because it’s a thing girls do. Watching horror movies is meaningful because it’s a thing boys do, but if you’re a girl you’re only doing it to trick boys into liking you. If you fail to answer a battery of trivia questions, you’re outed as a fake geek girl and have to stop watching horror movies.
Hope this helps. I’ve been a comic-book fan long enough to familiarize myself with the rules.
There is a small chance that you can be considered “one of the guys” and other real guys can then be reassured that you don’t have girl cooties. However, this is only possible if you agree to never object to any of the toxic, sexist shit the real guys say.
It strikes me that this is yet another instance of a red piller projecting gobs of emotions and actions onto women, based on nothing more than his own premonition.
I mean, he’s convinced that women are only giving him pity-sex, thinking of someone else the whole time. How does he know this? Do they call him by the wrong name? Do they say, “I hope you realize I only did that because I feel sorry for you?” Did he have to beg and beg them, appealing to his loneliness, until they caved?
I suppose any of that could be possible, but this sounds like he’s making an assumption and then declaring that to be the obvious truth. I get how any number of personal struggles, like low self esteem, anxiety, or even just having a super bad day, could make him think things like, “She doesn’t really like me”, or “she really wishes she was with someone else right now”–but it’s a big problem that he doesn’t own that as his own jerkbrain talking. It seems like he’s escalating an honest emotion (“I worry that,” or “I feel like,” or “I can’t shake the idea that…”) to a declaration of his partner actually being capricious or duplicitous (“she secretly thinks… I know what she’s been doing… how dare she”).
Especially considering this:
He’s deriving someone’s entire sexual history from locking eyes with them. I mean, my gynecologist asks about my sexual history, because she can’t tell from looking at my actual sexual organs, but this guy apparently has the magic ability to look into my eyes and know.
Having known a few guys who skirt around the edges of this stuff, this sort of thing frustrates me deeply. Dudes, it’s okay to struggle with feeling crummy about yourself. It’s okay to have to push back against anxious thoughts. It’s okay to feel awkward or shy or nervous. It’s okay to want affirmation from your S.O. We can talk about that. You can have 100% of my compassion for that.
It is not, however, okay to make that the fault of women who haven’t even done anything to hurt you. And no, “Failing to fall at my feet in adoration” does not count as doing something to hurt you. Neither does “Dating other guys before she knew I existed”.
@Kootiepatra “I mean, he’s convinced that women are only giving him pity-sex, thinking of someone else the whole time.”
Clearly “Schrödinger’s Brad Pitt” isn’t just sexing up all the ladies when men aren’t looking, he’s also having sex with them inside their minds while they’re having sex with other men! Men will never escape Brad Pitt’s sexily looming shadow!
@Spindrift – The Pittergeist strikes again!
Don’t Red Pill guys realise that all they’re doing is make women like me want to date even less? Just knowing there are men out there thinking thoughts like that, while pretending to love and care for the women they attempt to manipulate, makes me feel ill and like I never want to date a man again.
@Paradoxical Intention
Yeah, okonomiyaki is great stuff! I had some while I was in Vancouver and had to learn how to make it myself. Though with my… flexible approach to cooking, I think the stuff that I make may be near-unrecognizable to people who are already familiar with the food. It’s easy, though, and sure good enough for anyone who hasn’t had the stuff before. I modified the recipe I found here: http://okonomiyakiworld.com/best-okonomiyaki-recipe.html
Basically it’s 1/2 cup flour, 1 egg, and enough water (~1/3 cup) and thinly sliced cabbage (usually big 2-3 leaves. I’ve used savoy and green, any kind really works) to make a decent batter consistency. Put it in a pan to fry and stick some (~2) bacon slices on top while the batter is still sticky. Cover it up so it cooks through and flip it when the bottom solidifies up. Top with mayo and okonomi sauce (which I can’t find in grocery stores, so I make it with 1 tbsp ketchup, 1 tbsp worchestershire sauce and 1 tsp soy sauce.)
That usually makes 1 okonomiyaki, and it scales up pretty easily.
I could **** or even marry any hot woman I want because I am an ***hole Alpha and women loves ****holes but I just choose not to because casual sex has ruined all women. I am single by choice and no, I am not shittin you.
Maybe I am lil bit fat (200 kilos) and not that handsome but women should simply disregard that, all what a feminime woman should notice is if I am a Provider or not.
Of course I don´t exactly have a well-paying job either but because I am single by choice, I don´t need to. I will still judge you as a loser if you don´t have a well-paying job, car and home.
… Copypasta?
I don’t know what it means to asterisks women. Or what an asteriskshole is.
Quartzok,
Cool story, bro.
No one cares.
Yes to okonomiyaki! I learned how to cook while living in Asia and do all the cooking at home so okonomiyaki is a staple. It’s great and easy.
The secret to great homemade okonomi sauce is tamarind paste.
Japanese style mayonnaise is also important but I always forget to buy it so I usually end up mixing honey and regular mayo.
“What” women are told me everything I needed to know. These men are so fucked up. They fail at Basic Humaning 101. The lack of empathy, the entitlement, selfishness, sense of superiority combined with serious issues with sexuality make them all sound like Ted Bundy’s fan club.
The thought process so often seems to go:
I’m so great, because man.
I deserve sexes.
Women are things to use for getting sexes.
Girls are close enough to women.
Those things won’t give me my sexes.
They are broken, bad things.
Poor me.
I’m too nice.
I hate them.
“Accountability”
I want to bear spray guys like that in the face.
Lea, can we spray them with actual bears?