ATTENTION, MEN OF THE WORLD! More specifically, straight men. Even more specifically, straight men who are gigantic woman-hating douchebags.
Your boy Roosh Valizadeh, pickup guru and rape legalization advocate, would like to warn you about the impending end of the world, at least in terms of you being able to get into women’s pants.
Inspired by the DEFCON system used by the US Military to rate the level of military threat — DEFCON 5 means “chill out, we’ve got this” and DEFCON 1 means “holy crap we’re all gonna die” — Roosh has come up with what he calls the DEFCOCK system — get it? get it? — in order to give dudes “objective and standardized information” on how dude-friendly different countries are.
In countries currently at DEFCOCK 5 — that is, which have what he thinks as the healthiest environment for men — (straight, cis) men benefit from
Completely normal male-female relations in a patriarchal society that believes in a binary gender system of man and woman. Homosexuality is persecuted. Casual sex is difficult (if not impossible).
Countries at DEFCOCK 5 include Iran, Saudi Arabia and Pakistan. Strangely. Roosh has not himself decided to move to any of these countries.
He then works his way down the list. There’s DEFCOCK 4, which he claims characterizes countries like Russia, Turkey, and Colombia, and in which
Divorce rates may be high, but there is a low threat of divorce rape. A mixture of provider and clown game is needed.
There’s DEFCOCK 3 (Poland, Estonia, Brazil), in which
Women have gained masculine traits and delay monogamy to launch a meaningless office career while experimenting with over 25 local and foreign penises to understand how their vaginas respond to various bad boy stimuli. …
Huh. I didn’t look up numbers for Estonia and Brazil, but in Poland, according to one recent survey, the average number of lifetime sexual partners is 4.5. Not 45, not 25, 4.5.
And DEFCOCK 2 (England, Scandinavia, the good old US of A), in which
Non-heterosexual lifestyles are promoted as superior and major efforts are undertaken to destroy traditional marriage. Campaigns are launched to shame and criminalize consensual sex and masculine behavior such as flirting and bodybuilding. Divorce rape is common, with likelihood of imprisonment for missing alimony payments. Provider game is useless on beautiful women. Clown game is required for all men wanting to get laid.
Yeah, I’m pretty sure that roughly 0.00000% of that is actually true.
There’s only one level scarier than DEFCOCK 2 and that’s, you guessed it, DEFCOCK 1.
Severe threat of imprisonment for men displaying heterosexual or masculine behaviors. Roaming witch mobs actively surveil and monitor men who hint at having normal levels of testosterone.
ROAMING WITCH MOBS!
Women are elevated to goddess status while straight men appointed as their sexual servants through both legal action and media shaming.
GOVERNMENT MANDATED SEXUAL SERVITUDE!
Unsafe to live, fornicate, marry, or procreate; males must immediately vacate area for their own personal safety, both physical and mental
While Roosh notes that we haven’t yet reached DEFCOCK 1 anywhere on planet earth, he suspects that Toronto may be the first to go, and as soon as 2023.
Yep, that’s right: in less than a decade, Toronto males will literally be running from ROAMING WITCH MOBS intent on testing their T levels.
Bomb shelters can’t save you, fellas, so stay away from any place rated DEFCOCK 2, as it could easily slide into DEFCOCK 1 territory. Roosh’s advice:
find a city that is either in DEFCOCK 4 or just recently slipped to DEFCOCK 3, because once a decline accelerates, it may happen too quickly for you to leave before you wake up and see a nuclear cloud in the shape of a vagina right outside your window.
A NUCLEAR CLOUD IN THE SHAPE OF A VAGINA.
Now I am become Death, the destroyer of boners.
Every American conservative knows that Sweden is a close to Hell as anything on earth ever gets.
I enjoy the fact that – according to Roosh – one of the world’s most historically stable countries (Sweden) is going to implode soon.
Yes, Roosh, by all means, move to Saudi Arabia where you could be sentenced to 10 years in prison and 1,000 lashings for criticizing your government. At least you won’t have to deal with women with masculine traits having sex with whomever they want and expecting you to respect them.
What the flying fuck is “divorce rape”? Is it anything to do with the neglect rape that Straw woman feminist robot was talking a both a few posts back? Also why is a pick up artist so against casual sex?
I love it when conservatives sort of follow their argument to the logical conclusion and discover they really want America to be Saudi Arabia or Russia. Sometimes you can spot the moment when they realize it – their ultimate goal is for the US to be exactly like Afghanistan but with whiter people and a different name.
@Zolnier
I think the position is that casual sex when men do it = good, when women do it = bad, and when men do it with other men = bad. So when a man and a woman have casual sex it = mangood + womanbad = good (since men are more important).
But I’m not great at math.
What I don’t get is why Roosh isn’t conservatively religious and married? I mean, that’s what he wants, right, a patriarchal lifestyle that guarantees men wives who can’t refuse sex?
Oh, and on the subject of Toronto approaching ‘Defcock 1’: Has Roosh ever actually been to Toronto? I mean, I assume that he must have been and was wildly ineffectual at scoring with women who are way more attractive (in both physicality and personality) than he is (and probably with any woman he approached who has a functioning sense of smell), but how is that a metric for any decent straight guy to judge his own odds?
I love the title picture. Even the clouds want to be cats…and who can blame them…
That “clown game” article, wow. He just lays out every contradictory idea he holds as true and just, doesn’t he?
I just want to know why a “meaningless office job” is okay for men, but not for women? Is it less meaningless for men to hold office jobs somehow? Maybe I’m missing his whole point and meaningless office jobs should be held by macaques or ferrets or English ivy or something.
@Zolnier Sounds like he means stuff like alimony and child support when he’s talking about “divorce rape.” Basically the stereotypical “evil legal system will give all my money to the wife” thing.
Well, speaking as someone who’s lived in Defcock 1 — er, TO — I can honestly say that in a city where good-looking guys are thick on the ground, yeah, Roosh’s chances are looking even worse than usual.
Also, what the hell is up with “Defcock”? DEFCON stands for “defence condition”. Defcock, therefore = defence cock? Um, unless you’ve got a rooster patrolling the perimeter, how does that even make a bit of sense?
@Olive O’Sudden yes, he has been to our fair city. Apparently he didn’t do well.
@Bina ” Also, what the hell is up with “Defcock”? DEFCON stands for “defence condition”. Defcock, therefore = defence cock? Um, unless you’ve got a rooster patrolling the perimeter, how does that even make a bit of sense?”
Maybe it’s deference to cock, the higher the Defcock number the more women must defer to it’s authority?
Tracy, can I join you all in Toronto?
Honestly, making dinner plans for afters, having a bunch of other women looking out for you, having high diversity, bars closing early, and making roosh’s boner sad all sound like absolutely delightful things to me!
@Zolnier
You know, that super-common problem when a woman decides to divorce a man on a whim, and the courts automatically hand her all of his money and assets, and the kids, and huge alimony and child support payments. According to MRA’s, it’s the inevitable outcome of ever deciding to marry a woman.
I think they call it “divorce rape” because, well, they’re assholes who like to compare every negative experience to rape. It may be part of their insistence that men have it much, much worse than women across the Western world. (“Women are more likely to be victims of rape? Yeah well, what about divorce rape? Huh??”)
I feel sorry for Roosh. Apparently he is unaware that while he is at the gym engaging in “masculine behavior” like bodybuilding, he is surrounded by gay men doing the same.
Believe me, when the government starts clamping down on being a muscular, high-T paragon of masculinity, gays will be the first to be marching in the streets in protest. Stonewall? Nothing compared to this.
And Roosh will be welcome to march with us, even though he focuses too much on his glamour muscles and not enough on his core. Take it easy on the curls, bro.
I find it both bizarre and telling that, according to Roosh, on a sliding scale from “men in total control” (aka DEFCOCK 5) to “women in total control” (aka DEFCOCK 1) there is no possible middle ground where all genders are equal. I mean, wouldn’t you pretty much have to pass by that point on your way? How could you miss it?
…Is anyone else a horrible person who can only think of a rooster who crows off key, over-loud, and incompletely when they read DEFCOCK?
My family might have had one of those, once. Instead of cockle-doodle-doo, he kind of went “EEEER-ER-ER-ER”
I know the ladies love balloon animals, but isn’t the tiny car a bit of a turn-off?
I read the article, and apparently most of his gripes boil down to:
-Some women are fat
-Women eat
-There’s non-white women
-They don’t care about sex as much as he does
-They’re on to his PUA bullshit and have put up the “Bitch Shields”
Roosh’s articles have been lacking in pulsating labia lately.
If men need to play “the clown game” to get laid, doesn’t that disprove the entire idea of alpha-beta hierarchy? Wouldn’t beta male manginas be getting the *most* sex? And by that reasoning, shouldn’t pick-up artists be teaching men to play the clown game instead?
@Paradoxical Intention: I thought PUAs were all about the subservient East Asian/Southeast Asian waifus that exist in their imaginations. That’s the impression I got from all their whining about “Western women.” You’re telling me their creepy Asian sex doll fetishes AREN’T proof they’re not racist, too?!? :O
*snorts* Very nice.
Anyway, I’m sorely tempted to make a KickStarter to raise money to help Roosh emigrate to Saudi Arabia.
alaisvex – I would donate to that!
I live in a Scandinavian country, and I can’t recognize ONE damded thing in RV’s image of Things here.
Now I’m picturing the roving anti-bodybuilder witch trials as Things in the old Norse sense of Viking assemblies and such, which makes them even better.