ATTENTION, MEN OF THE WORLD! More specifically, straight men. Even more specifically, straight men who are gigantic woman-hating douchebags.
Your boy Roosh Valizadeh, pickup guru and rape legalization advocate, would like to warn you about the impending end of the world, at least in terms of you being able to get into women’s pants.
Inspired by the DEFCON system used by the US Military to rate the level of military threat — DEFCON 5 means “chill out, we’ve got this” and DEFCON 1 means “holy crap we’re all gonna die” — Roosh has come up with what he calls the DEFCOCK system — get it? get it? — in order to give dudes “objective and standardized information” on how dude-friendly different countries are.
In countries currently at DEFCOCK 5 — that is, which have what he thinks as the healthiest environment for men — (straight, cis) men benefit from
Completely normal male-female relations in a patriarchal society that believes in a binary gender system of man and woman. Homosexuality is persecuted. Casual sex is difficult (if not impossible).
Countries at DEFCOCK 5 include Iran, Saudi Arabia and Pakistan. Strangely. Roosh has not himself decided to move to any of these countries.
He then works his way down the list. There’s DEFCOCK 4, which he claims characterizes countries like Russia, Turkey, and Colombia, and in which
Divorce rates may be high, but there is a low threat of divorce rape. A mixture of provider and clown game is needed.
There’s DEFCOCK 3 (Poland, Estonia, Brazil), in which
Women have gained masculine traits and delay monogamy to launch a meaningless office career while experimenting with over 25 local and foreign penises to understand how their vaginas respond to various bad boy stimuli. …
Huh. I didn’t look up numbers for Estonia and Brazil, but in Poland, according to one recent survey, the average number of lifetime sexual partners is 4.5. Not 45, not 25, 4.5.
And DEFCOCK 2 (England, Scandinavia, the good old US of A), in which
Non-heterosexual lifestyles are promoted as superior and major efforts are undertaken to destroy traditional marriage. Campaigns are launched to shame and criminalize consensual sex and masculine behavior such as flirting and bodybuilding. Divorce rape is common, with likelihood of imprisonment for missing alimony payments. Provider game is useless on beautiful women. Clown game is required for all men wanting to get laid.
Yeah, I’m pretty sure that roughly 0.00000% of that is actually true.
There’s only one level scarier than DEFCOCK 2 and that’s, you guessed it, DEFCOCK 1.
Severe threat of imprisonment for men displaying heterosexual or masculine behaviors. Roaming witch mobs actively surveil and monitor men who hint at having normal levels of testosterone.
ROAMING WITCH MOBS!
Women are elevated to goddess status while straight men appointed as their sexual servants through both legal action and media shaming.
GOVERNMENT MANDATED SEXUAL SERVITUDE!
Unsafe to live, fornicate, marry, or procreate; males must immediately vacate area for their own personal safety, both physical and mental
While Roosh notes that we haven’t yet reached DEFCOCK 1 anywhere on planet earth, he suspects that Toronto may be the first to go, and as soon as 2023.
Yep, that’s right: in less than a decade, Toronto males will literally be running from ROAMING WITCH MOBS intent on testing their T levels.
Bomb shelters can’t save you, fellas, so stay away from any place rated DEFCOCK 2, as it could easily slide into DEFCOCK 1 territory. Roosh’s advice:
find a city that is either in DEFCOCK 4 or just recently slipped to DEFCOCK 3, because once a decline accelerates, it may happen too quickly for you to leave before you wake up and see a nuclear cloud in the shape of a vagina right outside your window.
A NUCLEAR CLOUD IN THE SHAPE OF A VAGINA.
Now I am become Death, the destroyer of boners.
Paradoxical Intention -“It almost sounds like you’re describing the United States there. : /”
LOL! America is still considered a first world country. There is room for improvement, but at least it is not nearly as bad as Pakistan and Saudi Arabia. They may still be some work to do, but feminism has improved the lives of American women A LOT over the last 200 years. With a little help from our suffragette friend Katie, of course. 😀
Spindrift- “Their research will be vital, cause they’ll have to learn to split the “bad boy” particles to create the vaginuclear bombs that leave the vagina shaped clouds”. Yep. Since life on this planet would be wiped out without vagina shaped clouds, that research would be vital importance to the survival of the human race.:D And yes, science is awesome! All hail Katie and her institute of vagina studies. XD
@ej, dude I am coming to visit you in Nottingham! OK, I live with a cat (two at the moment, I’m catsitting for a friend)…but…kittens. On the table. (My cat occasionally jumps on the table at dinner parties, to check out what everyone’s eating; the advice I was given by a more experienced friend was whenever he does that to look shocked and exclaim, ‘omg, he’s never done THAT before!’)
I predict that by 2023, Roosh will have completed his transformation from an aimless failed playboy to an ultrapatriarchal born again religious fundie. He’ll be hanging around grifting other fundies by telling the sob story how he used to be a “pick-up artist” drowning in the world of sin, debauchery and slutty women before he saw the light. He’ll even sport a Duck Dynasty beard.
I don’t know if my earlier comment went to moderation, so I am just going to write it again. I apologize if there is a double post.
I am sorry, but it was just a mistake. It seems that you took a minor error and just ran with it without reading the rest of my comment. We are discussing Roosh and his DEFCOCK ‘system’, not medieval history. I put it in there to illustrate how women were mistreated under the patriarchy in the past and how Roosh fears that the tables will turn and men will be treated in kind. Which is not going to happen.Thanx for correction, though. However, it is more like around 600,000 and the were witch hunts as early as the 1200s. Not exactly ‘millions’, but it is still classified as gendercide and it was caused by misogyny and the stigmatization of women and women were most of the victims. Here is a quote from the article.
” The witch-hunts can be viewed as a case of “genderized mass murder. The overall evidence makes plain that the growth — the panic — in the witch craze was inseparable from the stigmatization of women. … Historically, the most salient manifestation of the unreserved belief in female power and female evil is evidenced in the tight, recurrent, by-now nearly instinctive association of women and witchcraft. Though there were male witches, when the witch craze accelerated and became a mass phenomenon after 1500 its main targets, its main victims, were female witches. Indeed, one strongly suspects that the development of witch-hunting into a mass hysteria only became possible when directed primarily at women.”
As for women having it great in the late medieval period, that wasn’t the case either. No matter how high the standing of women were in medieval societies, they were never equal to the standing of men. Having a few more options than housewife doesn’t change that. Here is some further reading.
So maybe YOU should revoke your license to make up your own facts and statistics. At least I use links when I correct someone.
In case my ref list doesn’t show, here are the names of the sites.
Roman Women: Following the Clues
Women in Ancient Rome: Women’s Daily Life and Work
Women in Ancient Rome: Legal Rights
womenintheancientworld-WOMEN IN ANCIENT ROME
British Women’s Emancipation since the Renaissance-The History of Female Oppression
Nun, Widow, Wife, and More!: Career Options for Medieval Women
Women’s role in the medieval society
Science Blogs-How many people were killed as Witches in Europe from 1200 to the present?
Gendercide Watch-Case Study:The European Witch-Hunts, c. 1450-1750
Having the occasional difficulties with links is no excuse not to use at least some kind of referencing
IN SOVIET RUSSIA WITCH HUNT YOU
..ahem, sorry. Also, this was my train of thought as soon as I read the title:
DEFCOCK -> DICK CONDITION -> DICKCON -> A 4-day-long fan-run convention dedicated to the celebration of all things dick.
Man I have to move to Toronto as soon as possible so I can get in on the witch mob action.
“Casual sex is difficult (if not impossible). ”
Isn’t Roosh a fan of casual sex? Why would this be considered desirable?
Roosh makes Favell Lee Mortimer’s travel writing sound less racist, colonialist and bent on 18th-century Christian moralising by comparison.
http://www.futilitycloset.com/2015/02/22/podcast-episode-47-the-scariest-travel-books-ever-written/
Dr. Strangedouche needs to stop worrying and learn to love the vagina bomb.
@Sparky I thought it was possible to know someone’s testosterone/mangina/market value levels at a glance, by assessing height, wrist circumference, jaw width, chin size, and hairline. Also whether or not they’re having sex, and whether or not they’re planning to crash an airplane into a mountain. If Roosh can magically tell all those things from a photograph, our roving band of witches ought to be able to do even better.
mushroom cloud in the shape of a vagine? Sounds like roosh has been playing too much Persona 3. http://i.ytimg.com/vi/BBpVEfJV3Ps/hqdefault.jpg
ERWAT – Interesting post.
Two thumbs up ????????
That’s not sarcastic.
That’s just all I have right now because our asshole rooster started crowing at 330 am.
I think he’s going to be Easter Dinner.
And interesting follow up, missed 😀
misseb*
Asshole rooster.
Wish me luck today!
It’s my older daughters’ Spring Break and we’re going to drive down to George Washington’s Birthplace (about an hour and a half away from us – really neat place, almost empty necause it’s in the middle of BFE)…about to go brew a carafe of coffee and drink the whole thing.
And maybe when they’re older I’ll convince them to name their band DEFCOCK1, especially if our middle fancies women (as she currently seems to).
They’re leaning towards the name “The Diamond Breed”, but that seems more glam rock than how their tastes currently lean (Weird Al, They Might Be Giants, and screened TVOTR, Modest Mouse, and their current favorite Sleater-Kinney…they also really like the Pixies and the Archers of Loaf, but the songs that we can let them listen to are really hit and miss).
proxieme-Thanx. Anyway, good luck with that arsehole rooster! 😀 And don’t worry about it. You should see all the typos I’ve made today! ^^;
PS
Have fun!
Interestingly, this could’ve actually counted as satire if it had been written by someone who didn’t actually believe it.
Also, as far as I know bodybuilding is still legal. Come on, fellow feminazis, hurry UP.
Looks like the Cock Carousel is literally toast this weekend…
Vagina shaped mushroom cloud? Is this guy for real? Is he trying to be metaphorical or funny? Is that supposed to symbolize gynocentric takeover? You look out the window, and there it is! Vagina bomb aftermath, wafting your way! Duck and cover! How could it be both mushroom shaped and vagina shaped?
I live in a Scandinavian country, and I can’t recognize ONE damded thing in RV’s image of Things here…..He once Again proves that he doesn’t have a clue about what he is talking about….:-P
Roosh is probably just pissed ’cause he couldn’t get laid in Norway… ^^
@vanir85:
That is a lie and slander, and you should be ashamed for ever having let such noxious words pass your… keyboard.
Roosh could too get laid in Norway. He… just chose not to.
Roosh chose not to have sex in Norway because that would have meant showering, putting on deodorant, doing something about that hair, etc., etc. It would have interfered with his Slob Game, basically.
@Anne
I’ve noticed about 99.9% of the times I hear anyone from the US right wing say anything about Sweden or Scandinavia it’s completely fucking made up.
http://m.mic.com/articles/90079/35-men-show-us-what-real-men-s-activists-look-like
This got reposted on Facebook today and made me so happy that so many men aren’t douchebags. Clearly they come from a defcock 2 country.