ATTENTION, MEN OF THE WORLD! More specifically, straight men. Even more specifically, straight men who are gigantic woman-hating douchebags.
Your boy Roosh Valizadeh, pickup guru and rape legalization advocate, would like to warn you about the impending end of the world, at least in terms of you being able to get into women’s pants.
Inspired by the DEFCON system used by the US Military to rate the level of military threat — DEFCON 5 means “chill out, we’ve got this” and DEFCON 1 means “holy crap we’re all gonna die” — Roosh has come up with what he calls the DEFCOCK system — get it? get it? — in order to give dudes “objective and standardized information” on how dude-friendly different countries are.
In countries currently at DEFCOCK 5 — that is, which have what he thinks as the healthiest environment for men — (straight, cis) men benefit from
Completely normal male-female relations in a patriarchal society that believes in a binary gender system of man and woman. Homosexuality is persecuted. Casual sex is difficult (if not impossible).
Countries at DEFCOCK 5 include Iran, Saudi Arabia and Pakistan. Strangely. Roosh has not himself decided to move to any of these countries.
He then works his way down the list. There’s DEFCOCK 4, which he claims characterizes countries like Russia, Turkey, and Colombia, and in which
Divorce rates may be high, but there is a low threat of divorce rape. A mixture of provider and clown game is needed.
There’s DEFCOCK 3 (Poland, Estonia, Brazil), in which
Women have gained masculine traits and delay monogamy to launch a meaningless office career while experimenting with over 25 local and foreign penises to understand how their vaginas respond to various bad boy stimuli. …
Huh. I didn’t look up numbers for Estonia and Brazil, but in Poland, according to one recent survey, the average number of lifetime sexual partners is 4.5. Not 45, not 25, 4.5.
And DEFCOCK 2 (England, Scandinavia, the good old US of A), in which
Non-heterosexual lifestyles are promoted as superior and major efforts are undertaken to destroy traditional marriage. Campaigns are launched to shame and criminalize consensual sex and masculine behavior such as flirting and bodybuilding. Divorce rape is common, with likelihood of imprisonment for missing alimony payments. Provider game is useless on beautiful women. Clown game is required for all men wanting to get laid.
Yeah, I’m pretty sure that roughly 0.00000% of that is actually true.
There’s only one level scarier than DEFCOCK 2 and that’s, you guessed it, DEFCOCK 1.
Severe threat of imprisonment for men displaying heterosexual or masculine behaviors. Roaming witch mobs actively surveil and monitor men who hint at having normal levels of testosterone.
ROAMING WITCH MOBS!
Women are elevated to goddess status while straight men appointed as their sexual servants through both legal action and media shaming.
GOVERNMENT MANDATED SEXUAL SERVITUDE!
Unsafe to live, fornicate, marry, or procreate; males must immediately vacate area for their own personal safety, both physical and mental
While Roosh notes that we haven’t yet reached DEFCOCK 1 anywhere on planet earth, he suspects that Toronto may be the first to go, and as soon as 2023.
Yep, that’s right: in less than a decade, Toronto males will literally be running from ROAMING WITCH MOBS intent on testing their T levels.
Bomb shelters can’t save you, fellas, so stay away from any place rated DEFCOCK 2, as it could easily slide into DEFCOCK 1 territory. Roosh’s advice:
find a city that is either in DEFCOCK 4 or just recently slipped to DEFCOCK 3, because once a decline accelerates, it may happen too quickly for you to leave before you wake up and see a nuclear cloud in the shape of a vagina right outside your window.
A NUCLEAR CLOUD IN THE SHAPE OF A VAGINA.
Now I am become Death, the destroyer of boners.
Roosh Cartman “Guys, seriously! We’re going to be at Defcock 1 soon!”
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/7/77/EricCartman.png
I kind of want to start a riot grrl band called Defcock 1.
You forgot “white” in there too David. Remember, to Roosh and the gang, “if it ain’t white, it ain’t right”.
*gagging noises*
But dear lords above, so much to unpack.
Marriage existed long before Christianity, Roosh. It’s not theirs to “define”.
I don’t see any laws being passed here to criminalize bodybuilding, consensual sex, or flirting (even where I live in California). I see laws being passed to criminalize rape and sexual assault (and people are just wising up to how to body build safely. We had fucking Arnold Schwarzenegger as our governor for a couple of years, c’mon now).
“Divorce rape” is not a thing. That’s fucking gross of them to compare rape to “being made to pay money to an ex-spouse”. And yeah, if you’re court-ordered to pay someone money and you don’t do it, it’s technically breaking the law.
“Provider game”? Really? They bitch about “gold diggers” and then want to pull “provider game”? Wow…the hypocrisy runs deep with these jack-offs.
He thinks this is a good thing–yet he pursues casual sex and
cons other men into thinking he can teach themteaches other how to “get” it.It’s all about the double standard with this boy.
Yeah, women are only ever office workers. And earning your own money, even via a shitty job, is “meaningless.”
For somebody who pretends to expertise, he knows jack shit about female sexuality.
Notice his assumption that women’s pursuit of sexual pleasure is all about our vaginas–and their responses to peens. And is “experimental”–not a response to urges that women may have, not a desire for excitement or relationship or pleasurable human contact. Nah. Women just want to figure out how their ‘ginas respond to various men.
I really am sort of glad he exists and writes this stuff. He can be relied upon to provide a perfect example of the sort of attitudes feminism exists to fight.
Says it all. Would that he would move to Pakistan. Like, yesterday.
Yeargh!
Btw, over in Roosh’s nest of flying monkeys, Return of Kings, there’s an article up doing a rehash of ‘If Only Eliot Rodger Had Game’, no prizes for guessing whose name they substituted for Eliot Rodger:
http://www.donotlink.com/eeja
Dickheads.
Isn’t it sweet how annoyed and frustrated he is at women having sexual agency.
Ooh, I missed this–
Shithead, feminist campaigns are launched to shame nonconsensual sex, and to promote consent. Stop with the Orwellian doublespeak. Even your followers won’t buy that one.
Flirting is “masculine behavior” now? I thought both sexes did it. *shrug*
Anyway. Yeah, pretty funny.
@Paradoxical Intention
I don’t know what he’s talking about with the “criminalizing bodybuilding” thing either. Maybe he’s referring to people trying to prevent steroid abuse? Which he’s mischaracterizing as trying to “criminalize bodybuilding”??
Even my friend Katie doesn’t want to criminalize bodybuilding. But she does want to fine dads for holding back yard barbeques. And teaching their sons to build model airplanes. Because she’s just that mean.
@Lady Mondegreen
That was my thought too. He is definitely big on the double standards.
Here is some adorableness to counteract this horribleness. It’s footage from the cat cafe that recently opened here. As the video description says, it “is literally six minutes of cats.”
You’re welcome.
This guy actually believes this. I just… what… I don’t even…
I want to be in a roving witch mob. Anyone want to start one?
@weirwoodtreehugger, I’m in.
When I was a kid, I knew all the words to that song from “Hocus Pocus.” Does that qualify me to be in a roving witch mob?
Yeah, clearly an environment that is the most friendly to men is one that actively prosecutes homosexual activity! Because no men are ever, ever gay!
I’m wondering how Roosh survived the operation that replaced his brain with a sack of moldy rice and his heart with a maggot-infested cowpat, honestly.
For the record, I like roving witch mobs.
Side note: The Oppenheimer quote is often referenced as being said the moment the bomb went off. While he couldn’t remember exactly (small wonder), he was pretty sure he said something along the lines of, “It worked.”
You’re welcome,
Joe “Master of Useless Trivia” Klemmer
These guys are playing a dangerous game.They’re establishing a strong framework for an imaginary world which produces nothing but mass shooters with all the furnishings of full metal psycho.
Not to mention they have a bizarre insistance that women don’t like their jobs or want to work, but actually want men to take them to the side and firmly say so. If they hate office life so much they should be the first to leave instead of women. Of course the world of the office has its problems, but that’s not where they’re coming from. They want her to return to a place where no matter what she stands on, the place he occupies will always be higher, and remove her options for escaping a machine he controls.
DefCock One, we’ve men to beat/
We’re a Witch Mob, on the rove/
Witch Mob, on the rove/
Roving Witch Mob and we’re on the move.
(With lavish apologies to Pop Will Eat Itself)
Roving witch mobs? Just let me get my broom and pointy hat.
I wish he would leave Muslim countries out of his foul mouth, he knows nothing about them except the same propaganda western media spews about them.
Well I live in Ottawa, which I assume is in the same boat as Toronto, and I can verify that Roosh is completely right.
Just this morning at work I said “Hi” to a female co-worker., “Stephen Harper’s femminazi witches coven just ruled that to be rape!” she laughed. As punishment I was forced to get gay married to John Baird
Depressed I went for a walk, but sadly I crossed paths with another woman at the park. She took one look and yelled “I want a divorce!” (you don’t have to be married to get divorced anymore) and I was forced to give her all my money and become her slave.
Finally I snapped and said I was sick of this, at which point the nearby patrol of PC stormtroopers grabbed me and I was executed on the spot.
True Story.
@skybison your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.
It…sounds like he’s talking about blended Scotch, here.
Personally, I prefer single-penis Scotch.
Quite telling that women are more oppressed in “best for men” (worst for women) category, then men are in the strawman “worst for men” (best for women) catgory. Even when inventing oppression, it still shines through that Roosh thinks only the oppression of men is bad.
Though if taking this even remotely serious; I would strongly advice women finding temselves in a DC5 or DC4 area to get (or better, start changing the place they are in) to a DC1 or DC2 area.
Also; if Roosh is right, should not all PuAs immediately seek out these wonderful patriarchal havens and settle down there?
Is it possible to ROK get shut down? Look at this disgusting tweet by PUA Nick Krauser,
https://twitter.com/ReturnOfKings/status/583646343932981248
I would gladly sign a petition/picket to get ROK or Roosh V shut down.
@vanir85:
Their delusions of how great super patriarchal and restrictive societies are are only outweighed by their racism.
@Mitchel:
Unfortunately we can’t… But hey, in a sense they’re right! Turning the guy into a being so morally repugnant the airlines wouldn’t hire him would have in fact prevented this particular tragedy.
Hey, Roosh? I have a cloud for you, too. But it’s not shaped like a vulva:
http://i.huffpost.com/gen/1327045/thumbs/o-MESSAGE-FROM-GODS-570.jpg
Outlawing flirting? He appears to be confusing the U.S. and Titipu.