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Woman Oppresses Husband By Getting Fat; Men's Rights Redditors Outraged

Huh/ Maybe she should get in touch with this guy. (Actual weight-gain ad circa 1970)
Maybe she should get in touch with this guy. (Actual weight-gain ad circa 1970)

Sitting near the top of the front page of the Men’s Rights Reddit at the moment, with more than 300 upvotes: A post, based on a three and a half year old comment on a Fat Acceptance blog, with the title “Woman gains 65 pounds after getting married, forces husband to get Viagra after he is no longer attracted to her.”

Brace yourself for the HORROR of a wife who put on weight in blatant disregard of the rights of her husband’s boner.

Oh, the bonermanity!
Oh, the bonermanity!

Naturally, the Men’s Rights Redditors are OUTRAGED at this insidious assault on a man’s right to tell his wife that she’s too fat and ugly to fuck.

Here’s the top comment, with more than 100 upvotes:

ruskyandrei 103 points 4 hours ago       I just can't help but feel like I am the one who should change ?  Must be quite difficult to grasp this basic truth when all the media bombards you with bullshit about how men should love you no matter what etc...

The charming blueoak9 set the “ignorant sow” straight on a question of Boner Science:

blueoak9 66 points 3 hours ago*   "Wiil ensure arousal"? Ignorant sow. Viagra doesn't make you aroused. It just causes an erection. Learn something about men's bodies for fuck's sake.

Others concluded, from the fact that he agreed to try Viagra, that she was essentially drugging and raping him. No, really.

Surprentis 50 points 4 hours ago   Might as well be rape at that point.      permalink     embed     save     report     give gold     reply  [–]ManRAh 31 points 3 hours ago   She's literally drugging him so he'll have sex with her. By definition, it absolutely is.

Carchamp1 expanded on this, er, logic:

carchamp1 1 point 44 minutes ago   This is not consent. He's doing it because he has to. In case you haven't heard divorce really sucks for men.  I've been saying for many years that Viagra is a rape drug. This is but one example. I'm telling you that these guys who can't get it up, can't get it up for the wives. It's not a physical problem usually. These guys are just trying to avoid divorce.  edit: Just in case you're not sure where I'm going with this, you are fantastically off base.  "He is consenting to it, but obviously he does not want to have sex with her."  Are you fucking kidding me?

So never let it be said that Men’s Rights activists don’t take rape seriously. They take it very seriously when a man is raped by a woman by agreeing to try Viagra and then having consensual sex with her even though she’s a fatty.

 

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GhostBird
GhostBird
6 years ago

@weirdwoodtreehugger

Oops….did I just feed a troll?

because reasons
because reasons
6 years ago

Yea, shut up woody!

marinerachel
marinerachel
6 years ago

They’re not a cult but HAES promotes some seriously wrong-headed ideas.

Bryce
Bryce
6 years ago

@Catherrine
“So basically he told her that she’s deformed and everything she is is, to him, based on her body. Hell, he could have told her that she turned into She-Hulk or Godzilla! It would have about the same emotional impact.”

Um no… He was being honest about the the significant weight gain as the reason for the lack of physical attraction, and only then after being cornered on the subject.

@Ceebarks – agree: man puts on weight, stops shaving or generally taking care with his appearance, then “explodes” when his wife admits to a lack of desire. Not acceptable no matter how much his feels are hurt. There’s something suspicious and a tad self-serving about the pop psych/cultural critiques here, where male sexual orientation is apparently invalid if they prefer a sexual partner who’s within range of a certain physical ideal (or just someone who isn’t clinically obese). Intercourse for purely altruistic reasons is not ideal or desirable for the relationship, it would likely result in resentment and extinguish whatever remaining attraction.

GhostBird
GhostBird
6 years ago

In regards to the HAES = cult; I’m a bit confused as to how that’s the case, though. I came to the same conclusions that they did after both losing and gaining weight, and now my weight is between both extremes and I’m happier for it.

because reasons
because reasons
6 years ago

where male sexual orientation is apparently invalid if they prefer a sexual partner who’s within range of a certain physical ideal (or just someone who isn’t clinically obese).

male sexual orientation? Wtf? I think you’re trying to say that women shouldn’t be all whiny just because a man doesn’t like fatties. But your wording is all kinds of weird. And icky.

Paul
Paul
6 years ago

Any organization that encourages a person to gain 65 lbs of body fat by overeating and calls that process “finding what works for your body” is at the very least cult-like. Cults attract by promoting irrational ideas that make people feel better — whether or not those ideas are healthy.

I can eat whatever I want all the time and become obese and that is “healthy”? This is a very appealing idea that can survive on groupthink alone. The groupthink apparently could even lead someone to normalize the idea of planned diabetes.

And in this woman’s story we see a common occurrence with cults: The cult ideology is driving a wedge between her and her husband. She may ultimately have to choose between her husband and the cult. I would guess she will choose the cult, believing that they are the ones who really care about her.

Catherine von Überwald
Catherine von Überwald
6 years ago

@Bryce
You do understand that “She-Hulk or Godzilla” part is hyperbolic, right?
Look, I’m not saying that he is a horrible person. Or that he have no right to prefer this or that body shape. Far from it.
/I will say that I think that he should have raised the subject before he got “cornered on the subject”. But even so; I don’t think that he (or she) is a terrible person.

The part you quoted was me trying to explain how it might have felt to his wife and why it might have made her “Explode”.
deniseeliza said it much better then I ever could, so instead of trying to explain it myself, I’ll just quote:

How the heck is a person who just got told that their life partner doesn’t want them anymore supposed to immediately, in the very moment of learning this life-shattering information, suppress all their feelings of pain so that they can consider whether their life partner (who doesn’t want them anymore) is at fault? I mean, sure, maybe some people are capable of doing that. But that’s really a lot to expect. You hit me in the face with a 2 by 4 and I’m going to be a little busy bleeding for a moment to really process that it was a total accident, okay?

My whole post is about not speculating and jumping on this or that expression (in this case “explode”) and making a whole narrative about people we know next to nothing about.
That’s it. I have no interest in trying to paint either of them as a villain.

because reasons
because reasons
6 years ago

I am guessing Paul didn’t bother to do any actual research on what HAES is. Nope. But it’s definitely a cult. I had never heard of it before this thread, but reading some things about them and visiting their website..they seem to be saying that being fat=/=being unhealthy and we should accept diverse body types. Which means you CAN be healthy and be fat and vice versa. And I, for one, am ALL for body acceptance.

Paul
Paul
6 years ago

“I think you’re trying to say that women shouldn’t be all whiny just because a man doesn’t like fatties.”

Agreed, they shouldn’t. Any more than men should be “all whiny” about a woman who only experiences sexual attraction to healthy-BMI men. It’s not her fault. It just is.

GhostBird
GhostBird
6 years ago

You want to know what? We still don’t know anything. At all. About what’s going on here. With this woman. Maybe this woman was skinny as a skeleton, and it made her miserable. Maybe she was heavy, and dieting still made her miserable. Doesn’t matter. It’s not a cult when a person decides to not be made miserable by self imposed standards.

Just….Christ on a cracker, a person is allowed to choose their body type. I’m healthier and stronger at my middle weight than I was at either extreme, but I know that what works for me may not be a sustainable thing for every person. How hard is that to grasp?

Just…. @because reasons ad nauseam

because reasons
because reasons
6 years ago

Obviously that’s not the point here. People are allowed to be attracted to whoever they want. Jesus, I don’t have the energy to explain the rest to you.

because reasons
because reasons
6 years ago

Sorry, my last post was directed at Paul.

@Ghost Bird
Idk if you meant you’re tired of talking about this in general (as am I) or you’re tired of me commenting. I didn’t mean to over-comment if that’s the case.

GhostBird
GhostBird
6 years ago

@because reasons

Oh, you aren’t commenting too much at all! Basically I’m saying people who disagree and are fat shaming others should read your brilliant comments till they’re sick of it because you’re so friggin’ right.

closetpuritan
6 years ago

Agree; because reasons has made a lot of good posts on here.

@marinerachel not gonna take the bait not going to turn this thread even more into an OT debate about HAES nope nope nope.

because reasons
because reasons
6 years ago

OH! Thank you! 🙂

Paul
Paul
6 years ago

“Christ on a cracker, a person is allowed to choose their body type. ”

Of course they are. If they were not, this woman would never have been posting about the serious problems she’s experiencing as a result of her new choice.

The choice to purposefully overeat and put on 65 lbs of adipose tissue is, objectively, not a healthy one. Just because something is common doesn’t mean it’s not a crisis. The husband in this story, who as she describes him apparently truly loves her, is almost certainly torn up about a lot more than just their sex life. There’s no acceptable way to communicate to her that what she is doing to herself is horrifying.

I speak as someone who is currently watching a close family member kill himself this way. It’s impossible to stop him. We tried. Now we just watch as years we could have had with him get chopped off the end of his life. As his lack of mobility, freely chosen by him, becomes humiliating. As he keeps eating boxes of poison, putting on more and more weight. It’s a fucking horror show.

marinerachel
marinerachel
6 years ago

You can blow it out your ass, closetpuritan.

People here express opinions in favour of HAES without criticism. Where were you when those people were taking the dischussion off-topic? People disagree with HAES and they’re accused of trolling tactics. Sorry, exactly WTF was that?

It’s not fucking baiting to disagree. If it’s offtopicness that’s the bproblem fine but it clearly isn’t when only detractors are accused of baiting.

This is fast becoming another science don’t real thread and that’s just dumb.

Furthermore, the jump to demonise the husband and neutralise the wife blowing up in this thread has been gross.

This is why people stop commenting on this blog. It’s not David or the blog’s content. It’s the “No, YOU shut up” in the comment section.

marinerachel
marinerachel
6 years ago

I’m going to have a fucking cheeseburger now.

Walter
Walter
6 years ago

Paul

Gaining 65 pounds is not necessarily killing yourself or horrifying. It’s just the body type she is most comfortable having. I don’t think it’s fair to condemn that women for choosing to gain weight. That’s her choice and there is nothing wrong with making that choice.

Bryce
Bryce
6 years ago

@because reasons

Yeah, it was badly put, I was responding to the ridiculous proposition that men must be “brainwashed” by western culture, the media etc. for finding one range of body shape attractive in preference to another, as if that couldn’t just be part of one’s basic orientation (not discounting individual variation here; obviously weight isn’t an issue for a lot of men).

The way I read it was, it sounded like some people were suggesting a) men don’t have the right to their own desires, what they find appealing, what they don’t etc. Invalid. b) Men should ‘adjust’ said desires essentially forcing attraction out of nothing, as if that were possible c) lack of sex = betrayal on his part.

Because God forbid somebody give up their daily sugar-laden deserts instead. Not an option apparently.

Again, I can’t see how being *moderately* overweight would extinguish all attraction, so this man might have been being mean spirited, trying punish her, shame her into getting back in shape, that’s also a possibility.

because reasons
because reasons
6 years ago

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-CzqzzBV2tMk/TxBM3ar18MI/AAAAAAAAPm0/6faLPO9BM8w/s400/i-can-has-cheezburger.jpg
Sorry, I couldn’t resist.
This topic has obviously touched a nerve with commenters, whether it’s the relationship in question, MRA stupidity, or body acceptance vs. fat-shaming. I definitely don’t want to see this thread down-spiral any further so maybe we can agree to disagree? I don’t think personal attacks are going to help the conversation.

because reasons
because reasons
6 years ago

@Bryce

Yeah, it was badly put, I was responding to the ridiculous proposition that men must be “brainwashed” by western culture, the media etc. for finding one range of body shape attractive in preference to another, as if that couldn’t just be part of one’s basic orientation (not discounting individual variation here; obviously weight isn’t an issue for a lot of men).

Ok, thanks for clarifying. It is a shame that men AND women are programmed by society to think one body shape or other feature is “hot or not”.

lack of sex = betrayal on his part

I think any feelings of betrayal would come from his skirting around the issue for so long and not discussing it with his partner until confronted by her in desperation. Communication is the main key to making relationships work/succeed so when that breaks down it can feel like your partner is no longer invested in it.

Because God forbid somebody give up their daily sugar-laden deserts instead. Not an option apparently.

Who said anything about eating daily sugar laden *desserts*? You know what, that doesn’t even matter. This sentence has fat-shaming all over it and it’s not cool.

Paul
Paul
6 years ago

Walter,

That’s 65 lbs so far. By her own account she has not plateaued yet.

Regardless, when a person increases their weight by 50% via purposeful overeating, it qualifies as a crisis for their family, as would many other medical conditions.

It’s her choice, of course. But the choice has consequences. No longer being attractive to her husband is just one of them.

As the result of a deliberate choice, she’s facing serious threats to her marriage and her health, and the cult is proudly not even suggesting that she return to a sensible, healthy diet and resume exercising every other day. They’re telling her she’s doing the right thing. And they’ll be saying that when she hits 200% of her healthy weight. And 300%. And 400%. It’s sick. As sick as the pro-ana cult, with similar consequences.

winterlycan
winterlycan
6 years ago

hi there; de-lurking for a minute

wow, this comment section is a huge mess i should have stayed away from. i am really disappointed to hear such awful fat shaming, here of all places. *sighs* ):

weirwoodtreehugger
6 years ago

Paul,
She didn’t say she was overeating, she said that she had stopped dieting and being slavishly devoted to going to the gym.

None of us know what her diet or weight is. So stop projecting your experience with a family member onto a stranger.

Trigger warning for eating disorders ahead

Also, don’t compare HAES to pro-ana please. When I had an eating disorder, I used to hang out on those sites. Trust me, it is nothing like the (admittedly little) I’ve seen of HAES. Accepting your body type rather than dieting (which has been proven ineffective) is not like sharing tips and tricks about how to disguise restriction, how to stop yourself from eating, how to induce vomiting or posting pictures of very thin models that have been photoshopped to look extremely emaciated.

sparky
sparky
6 years ago

It is amazing to me, Paul, that you can diagnose this woman’s physical and mental health over the Internet without being either her doctor or her therapist and without ever having met her. Seriously, that is one impressive super-power.

/sarcasm

because reasons
because reasons
6 years ago

I’ll let the bartender from Boondock Saints respond to Paul:
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IAQfglRyPlM&w=1016&h=452%5D

GhostBird
GhostBird
6 years ago

….. @because reasons, you are my new favorite person. If you would accept hugs, I offer them. If you’d prefer non physical contact, I offer the highest of psychological pop culture fives.

mrex
mrex
6 years ago

@Catherine You say she’s not showing any remorse and that she’s using her anger to get her way. The “no remorse” comment was in reference to her lack of acknowledgement that “exploding” is harmful behavior. I honestly have no idea what you’re talking about as I never commented on her behavior, before, after, or other than “exploding”. I also never made any comment being critical of how she was feeling. She has a right to feel however she feels, and her feelings aren’t any different than what I would feel. I know because I’ve been in her shoes.

Want to know something funny? You guys may not remember but from what I remember one of my earliest posts here was arguing against another member over whether men had a right to feel angry over being denied sex. I spoke of the pain of withholding sex in a relationship. I spoke of sex being an emotional need. I spoke of my anger (more like rage) problems. I spoke of learning to accept even rediculous rage as a normal emotion, but holding myself accountable for my actions. And I don’t remember anyone agreeing with me. 😉

Point being; I think there may be a double standard being displayed here. Yes, “exploded” could be only a poor word choice, but it also means something, and it’s definition in the dictionary is of a violent, destructive event. Somehow I don’t think that a guy who “exploded” on his wife would be given the same pass here, even if he was NEVER a physically violent guy, and even if he walked “exploding” back as just a “poor word choice”, or heavily crying, or something. I’m NOT making a guess as to her entire personality or anything, I just think it’s fair enough to comment on behavior people freely admit to, and I find the double standard between how I think a man would be judged for “exploding” and how a woman is being judged for “exploding” interesting. That is the only reason why I’m still commenting on what started out as a tongue in cheek side comment on my part.

On a more serious note, there’s a difference between being abusive and being an abuser. Anyone can fuck up and react on emotion and be abusive; push someone down verbally, get in a fist fight, whatever. An abuser does it over and over again, on purpose, without change, because them abusing their power is a feature, not a bug.

mrex
mrex
6 years ago

Oh BTW our sex problems turned out to have less to do with his attraction to me and more to do with bankruptcy-nearing financial problems, fears over the possibility of another pregnancy, possibly habits he got into while masturbating, and, most of all, because he felt pressured by my requests for sex as I have a high libido. (Not that it was ever my intent to pressure him! This is where poor communication really can hurt.) Our finances are still a mess, but a vasectomy, eliminating my anger over sexual frustration, and working on the sharing/trust in our relationship has smoothed our sex life out consideribly.

It’s not just pop psychology. Most people have a complex emotional relationship with sex, and without emotional work you will only ever see the surface. Same goes for money.

Michael Brew
6 years ago

As a 6′ tall man, my ideal body weight is around 160lbs. I’m usually about 50-60lbs. over that weight. Yet I can still run faster than a lot of men a decade my junior and a hundred pounds lighter, I can pull or push my own body weight enough to have come in 2nd place in a pull-up contest against a gaggle of Army lieutenants and I can do a good 50-60 Army PRT push-ups in 2 minutes. My stomach is small enough that I can comfortably wear size 34 jeans and medium shirts. People sometimes express surprise that I’m technically overweight because I don’t “look fat,” though I do have “love handles” and a small paunch. My cholesterol is slightly elevated, though it’s apparently the “good kind” and it’s not by much. Otherwise I’ve been blessed off as quite healthy. I say that just to put it in perspective that a woman who may have been at or even below her ideal weight is not necessarily morbidly obese or even very unhealthy after putting on 65lbs. Her gut may not be much bigger than mine. The people fretting over her weight gain are being a little over dramatic.

The thing is, it isn’t about the woman’s choice to stop torturing herself to maintain a certain body weight, which is a perfectly legitimate and perhaps healthy decision depending on her circumstances. It’s not about the man’s loss of attraction for her, which is also legitimate as sometimes that just happens. It’s not as if he’s throwing her out on the street or has stopped loving her because of it. The real issue is that some men are taking a couple honestly trying to work out their attraction issues as a woman taking advantage of a man because apparently there should be no question about compromise… it’s always the woman who has to accommodate the man with them.

Leela
Leela
6 years ago

1) we don’t even know if these people are real people
2) if they are it’s a very incomplete one side of one story
3) you can not pass any actual judgement (or conjecture) on their relationship based on the provided information
4) I think the topic has elicited such searching responses because it probably hits a lot of different people’s sore spots – weight, shallow love, anger over someone else’s reactions, lack of sex, sexual dysfunction, etc. it’s all there.
Personally, I’ve gained weight and lost weight and struggled with disordered eating pretty much the entirety of my life. I’ve also got a higher libido than my husband – and the lack of sex in a relationship that happens because the man doesn’t want to do it, that can be very hurtful because our socialization that men *always* want sex.

This is just a huge onion for lots of people with sooo many layers. I think people should take a step back and look at the reasons why you’re having a strong response.
And then can we get back to mocking the dum-dum mras?

Paul
Paul
6 years ago

It is physically impossible to gain 65 lbs of body fat without sustained, deliberate overeating.

We don’t need fine-level details about this person to know that she knowingly and purposefully overate by at least hundreds of thousands of calories, and that this unhealthy choice became such an issue that she is experiencing problems in her marriage of the sort that threaten its existence. None of that is reasonably in dispute.

The predictable health problems she will experience as she continues down this path (again, she stated no plans to stop or even slow the pace of her weight gain) are admittedly long term. She is not going to die tomorrow.

But the choice between her husband and a commitment to unhealthy eating is obviously looming. A couple in counseling is a couple on the rocks. The probability that she can keep her marriage and her objectively unhealthy eating habits is fairly low.

And there may literally be nobody in her life who is advising her to go back to a healthy diet and moderate exercise. She has a cheering squad pushing her in the other direction.

And apparently that is a social good.

weirwoodtreehugger
6 years ago

Wow. Repeating my call for Paul to fuck off.

because reasons
because reasons
6 years ago

Dum-dums? Oooo!comment image?w=280&h=184
I tried to do a funny image search for mra dum-dums and all I could find was awfulness…and for some reason naked women in sexualized poses. 🙁

because reasons
because reasons
6 years ago

@WWTH
N’thing that! I think Paulie (any relation to *the* Paulie?) meant to go to fatty-fatty-2×4.com but ended up here by mistake. Instead of redirecting he decided to run with it here. And it’s getting old.

dlouwe
dlouwe
6 years ago

Paul, shut up.

Leela
Leela
6 years ago

Yeah, I shouldn’t liken MRAs to a pretty yummy candy (I’m partial to the blue raspberry ones). I just couldn’t think of what to call those assholes.

And Paul –

I haven’t really read any of your posts since you’re an obvious troll. Basically, shut up woody.

And I’m not talking about this woman in this story when I say what I’m about to say, but rather your personal relationship with overeating that you’ve put forth itt.
Have you stopped to consider why your family member has developed these habits? Did something happen in their life to make them not care about their health. There’s a shit-ton that goes into disordered eating from a psychological perspective. Maybe you should, instead of focusing on your pain of watching someone become “embarrassingly” immobile, maybe try focusing on their pain?

Like, have some fucking empathy?

Leela
Leela
6 years ago

Anyway, did any of your see the video where the woman wears a fat suit and goes on tinder dates? Did you know they did a male version?

No idea how many are actors but:
Male

female

because reasons
because reasons
6 years ago

@Leela
Empathy? But that’s haaaaaard. It requires taking the focus off of yourself for a while, and it doesn’t sound like that’s a skill he has. It sounds more like: “It’s not fat shaming when I say horrible things about fatties, because I have this, er, relative that’s super fat and gross and it’s making the whole family uber sad.” Cool story, bro. If this relative does, in fact, exist, I feel so sorry for the total lack of emotional support they’re getting from you. As I said before, the worst thing you can do for someone you supposedly care about who has gained weight is SHAME and GUILT them. Ugh. I’m too tired to say anymore.

Let’s just go back to talking about candy. I mean, kittehs. I mean, mra’s. LOL

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
6 years ago

It is physically impossible to gain 65 lbs of body fat without sustained, deliberate overeating.

6’8″ dude here. Went from around 220-230 of muscle to around 300lbs after stopping crew in college as a result of not exercising not cutting back enough on my diet. Took around 2 years or so. It’s very easy to gain a lot of weight without deliberately trying to get there, and I actually have a surprisingly hardy metabolism (based on how I apparently visually vary drastically depending on what I’ve been eating the previous couple weeks).

And seriously, overeating my 100,000 calories per day? That’s not even physically possible, given that the recommended daily calorie intake for adults is on the order of a couple thousand.

But none of this really matters. Go worry about yourself, and let other people live their own lives for god’s sake.

Leela
Leela
6 years ago

@becausereasons
I’m still pissed they got rid of the lemon jolly ranchers. >:(

because reasons
because reasons
6 years ago

@Leela
Aw, when did that happen? Lucky for me they still make apple, strawberry, cherry, watermelon, and blue raspberry!

Sooo glad David dropped his sweet sweet ban-hammer on Paul!

peristyle
peristyle
6 years ago

I’m still going through the most recent comments.

All I want to say right now is that there is this perverse part of me that wishes that all women, without exception, would start wearing frumpy clothes, cut their hair, and gain weight, just to piss the MRAs off. These men seem to think that women not putting their (the MRAs’) preferences first is a terrible sin of some kind; so it’s like when a woman who gains weight, she is actually committing an act of aggression of some kind against all of men, isn’t she?

Since it seems to be that easy to make them all unhappy (eat more ice cream! yay!), I am all for it.

But of course that is stupid. Every woman should be the weight that feels good for her, that is healthy for her, and that may be thinner or it may be bigger. What the MRAs want or think should have no sway.

Paradoxical Intention
6 years ago

peristyle | April 2, 2015 at 12:47 am
All I want to say right now is that there is this perverse part of me that wishes that all women, without exception, would start wearing frumpy clothes, cut their hair, and gain weight, just to piss the MRAs off.

I did that after my sexual abuse finally ended. It felt…safe. Still wasn’t though. There’s always some asshole who thinks you exist for his peen and will comment on how he’d like to do things to you.

But, if any MRAs are lurking out there, I grow my hair long just so I can cut it super short and donate it to charities that make wigs for cancer patients.

I also wear frumpy clothes because I like being comfortable.

And I’m unapologetically squishy.

*aggressive raspberry noise*

Bryce
Bryce
6 years ago

Maybe this is risking a ban but I don’t see why losing *some* of the weight isn’t as valid a course of action here. No more coercive than requesting a partner use prescription drugs in the hope of forcing arousal.

But anyways…sympathy for those who struggle with fluctuating weight, given that most packaged/pre-prepared foods are laced with various forms of sugar these days. It is *very* easy to inadvertently gain kilos, even with restricted portion size. Been there and it took 2 years on a fairly extreme Atkins style diet with the associated depressed mood before I was back within the healthy BMI range.

peristyle
peristyle
6 years ago

Bryce, there’s nothing wrong with losing weight, but it must be because you know it’s something you want to do, and it’s done for healthy reasons. Not because you’re less of a person if you don’t; or if you don’t, you won’t be pleasing to someone else.

Paradoxical Intention, I know what you mean.

It’s surely not a revelation to state that many women gain weight as a shield or protection from harassment, abuse, or unwelcome sexual attention.

The thing that I find so painful and at the same time, so infuriating, is that the MRAs (and assholes who share their views in this area) will blame and hate women for being fat, while completely distancing themselves for the reason why these women got fat in the first place. Because too many men were creepy and giving them unwanted attention.

They also notice that bigger girls are sometimes full of quirks and strong personalities, they blame the fat for that, while again refusing to recognize that when a girl is treated like a second-class citizen, is always treated like she’s committed some horrible crime by being fat, she may develop an attitude as a defense. But, somehow, the guys don’t see the connection. They never look inward and wonder if there’s anything they are doing which contribute. They only know that whatever the women do, they are doing it wrong, and that due to that, the women deserve more hatred heaped on them. As if the hatred will magically “correct” the situation!

So, so stupid.