The We Hunted the Mammoth Pledge Drive is almost over! If you haven’t already, please consider sending some bucks my way. (The PayPal page will say you are donating to Man Boobz.) Thanks!
Heartiste, of the Chateau Heartiste, isn’t just an unending source of ludicrously overcooked, try-hard bromides against fatties, liberals and “vibrants,” his favored term of art for people whose skin isn’t white. No, once in a while the alleged pickup artist actually gives out some advice on how to score with the HBs of the world.
Today, he’s got some amazing advice on how to pick up “red state prole chicks.” Well, “amazing” in the sense that videos of people popping infected cysts using rusty nails in their backyard are “amazing” — that is, gross and wrong but you can’t look away.
Anyway, brace yourself, because the master is about to unload a tip worth its weight in pus:
Here’s the trick, should you find yourself deep in bucolic red territory: Deck yourself out in a piece of clothing or an accessory with insignia that clearly identifies some media, fashion, or arty conglomerate. …
Cute prole girls are salt of the earth, but they love the fantasy of the blue city alpha male with connections and a social calender bursting with fruit flavor. Dat “expert from afar” feel. Wearing something that signals you work for one of those dream companies, true or not, is a honey cock trap for inexperienced naifs.
Huh. I still have an umbrella with the Money magazine logo on it from when I used to work there. (In my defense, it was free.) I had no idea it could be used in HB acquisition.
BRB, booking a flight to Alabama.
WE HUNTED THE MAMMOTH FRIDAY CHALLENGE: Work the phrase “honey cock trap” into conversation.
@Machine Gun Sally
He might be Goldmember from Austin Powers.
I’m pretty sure he’s not writing down the first thing that comes to mind, he’s publishing his madlibs results.
Not being American I was thinking red as in communist until I got to the comments.
When I read ‘honey cock trap’ all I can think is ‘is it like a honey badger trap?’ Clearly only the most ‘alpha’ of menz could endure one of those!
Pretending to have a job – total Alpha move.
I can see it now:
Cute prole girl: “Oh, you work at [Company]?
PUA: “Yup. Your teeth are crooked. Wanna bang?”
Cute prole girl: “Actually, I was wondering if you could give me any resume tips. I would love to work there”.
PUA: “Misandry!!!! Why are you sleazy feminist chicks always trying to get better jobs than me?”
Cute prole girl: “Better? I thought you worked there”
PUA: “Damn!”
Buttercup Q. Skullpants:
What is that, There Will Be Blood game?
Good news everyone! My city just passed an ordinance that would allow for urban farming!
I live in a very dense urban suburb, but my house is old and we have a big backyard and a small garden, so this is great for us! Lots of people are getting chickens around us though. I can hear the rooster crowing every morning.
And he knows which of the two groups are more likely to give him money.
http://img2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20150108013438/epicrapbattlesofhistory/images/9/9f/Shots_Fired.gif
Yeah, because nothing’s more attractive to us ladies than a man who’s pretty much a real life male equivalent of Bella Swan from Twilight. Blank, blankety, blank, blank, and just waiting for a woman to come along to give them a personality outside of some base parameters. Like Mad Libs, only a person.
Most of Heartiste’s posts sound like they originated as mad libs:
“Lately I’ve been thinking about [INSULTING ADJECTIVE] [GREEK LETTER OF THE ALPHABET] and their [ADJECTIVE][ADJECTIVE][WEIRDLY HYPHENATED PLURAL NOUN]. I’ve come to the conclusion that [NASTY WORD][SYNONYM FOR FEMALE ANIMALS] are just too [ADJECTIVE] to [VERB]. Even when you try running [TIME OF DAY][BEVERAGE][EMOTION][RANDOM NUMBER] game on them, they still [VERB] you in the [BODY PART]. And let’s not even talk about [PLURAL ETHNIC SLUR]”.
I was actually thinking about turning one of the posts into a mad lib, but decided I didn’t want to read a lot of them to pick one out.
“Lately I’ve been thinking about unfashionable Zetas and their silly, flamboyant hat-pants. I’ve come to the conclusion that slimy pens are just too adorable to fret. Even when you try running Wednesday’s Mojito Happy 7 game on them, they still flap you in the wenis. And let’s not even talk about crackers.”
This is fun. Though, I hope you’ll pardon me for not using an actual ethnic slur. >.>
Somewhere in Heartiste’s mess of posts over there is a line that sums up everything. I swear, every single thing that rattles around in his head like a bunch of ping pong balls:
“You want to look like a man who gets laid a lot, even if you don’t.”
Goals are important in life, yep.
Hey Dave,
Can you explain something to me? Aside from the name “sluthate”, why do you consider it a bad site? I too admit the name sounds TERRILBE, but I personally LOVE “bash the scene”. What are your thoughts on “bash the scene?”
I actually like the guy behind the “Black Pill” blog, but aside from him and sluthate(Well, the “bash the scene” section anyways), I can’t stand any of the guys you mock either. Roosh and Forney are complete flith!
I have realized that any clothes i own with company logos on them I got for free at some event, or as swag from contractors we hired. They rarely reflect the company you work for and wearing it just looks, well, cheap and kind of tacky.
I still love getting it because I can cut them up and use the fabric to sew up something cool, but I think most people don’t associate wearing those clothes with any kind of status.
Except for hissing at the Roosevelts, all of these would get my attention. I love it when people have weird hobbies. Also Dusenbergs and the President.
Just to be pedantic, by the time the castle was built on Lindesfarne the Vikings were no longer around.
[For double pedantry I suppose I should point out ‘viking’ is a verb, ‘Norsemen’ is the noun]
Also not USian, and thought he was writing about picking up women in communist countries. Was very confused. (Fun fact – in Canada, red is the colour of the Liberal party; blue is Conservative)
I suspect he’s never actually met another person before:
I did just this, sans guitar, with Busband and a bunch of friends in my early 20’s. Lots of artists had studios there, and lots of other people lived there too bc it was cheap and sort of off the grid. I don’t recall anyone being sexually looser than… well, than ‘average’.
My sister has a huge newfie/golden mix that some people (including men) are terrified of. A friend of mine has a Great Dane – she’s barely 5 feet tall. My last dog was an American Staffordshire. Another woman I know has a Dogo Argentino (omg gorgeous!)
So edgy! So dark! So assuming someone wearing a hunting knife at all times is either a) posturing or b) maybe dangerous, and steering clear either way!
He just described my female cousin and one of her daughters, so… big whoop?
This would be Busband, as he’s a blue collar fella who sometimes finds himself in this situation due to work. Sometimes he’s treated well, sometimes not, unfortunately. Though yeah, if you’re literally caked with mud and walking around a boutique, expect to be asked to leave.
So be sincerely masculine and wear a tank top just so you appear masculine?
Tomatoes, green beans, kale… so totally gamma. Nothing says Alpha like wasting your growing space by only growing one ginormous gourd. *tingles*
If I could raise small farm animals on an apartment roof here, I’d be living in a building. Though I still wouldn’t consider killing and dressing a chicken foreplay.
And OMG AUGH uterine prolapse is a thing *hides under her bed*
This was answered the last time you asked. However, there’s a new, fresher reason to despise “sluthate”–check out the next post David put up.
Hey, Mitchel, this new post will probably answer your question:
https://www.wehuntedthemammoth.com/2015/03/27/internet-incels-celebrate-andreas-lubitz-the-alleged-killer-co-pilot-of-germanwings-flight-9525-as-a-legitimate-slayer-and-an-incel-hero/
Sounds like a pretty loathsome site to me.
1) Isn’t the name “sluthate” enough of a reason to consider it a bad site? “Slut” means “a woman who has ‘too many’ sexual partners”, which raises the questions (1a) Who are you to judge what number of sexual partners is ‘too many’? (1b) How is it even any of your business? (1c) How is it justification for actively hating someone?
2) Back when they were called “PUAHate”, they fed a bunch of toxic ideas to Eliot Rodger. He cited those ideas in the manifesto he wrote before he murdered six people. (Obviously they were just one of many factors, but still…) They reacted to this by changing the name of the site while continuing to push the same toxic ideas.
3) From what I know about the site, they “bash the scene” from the wrong direction. It’s not “Anyone who would use PUA techniques is a horrible human being.” But rather, “I’d use PUA techniques in a heartbeat if they worked for me, but they don’t! Why won’t anyone teach me a technique for being a horrible human being that will also increase my quality-of-life!?”
Wow, that post is deeply disturbing on sluthate. To be honest, I never checked the “shitty advice” section before. I was only posting in “bash the scene” and thought some of it was hilarious. I did check the “rate me” section before and was shocked. There were some really good looking guys asking to be rated that women would have DEFINITELY been physically attracted to anyways.
I found this site while digging for pics of Matt Forney one day on google. I plan on taking a few low blows at that pathogen myself in a blog post. To be honest, I really don’t see the point of most “manosphere” blogs these days. Seriously, who cares how “alpha” Mike Cernovich is?
@Ellesar I am American and “red state prole chicks” also first struck me as Communist. So it’s not you or not being American. It’s probably because Heartise is a terrible writer and misapplied “prole,” which is Communist terminology. I thought he was talking about picking up Russian women.
I’ll admit, I’ll judge someone if they’ve had fifty plus sexual partners. Because that’s pretty impressive. 10/10.
I cheated.
I asked mr if he’d ever heard the expression -honey cock trap-. Surprisingly he said no. I said, that’s OK, I just needed to use the expression in conversation.
He did that teachery raised eyebrow thing and loftily informed me that a question like that isn’t conversation. Too bad, I did it. I win.
re:red state/blue state
the shift in labelling where right-wing states are called “red” happened as a result of the mess that was the 2000 presidential election. The “mainstream media” ended up standardizing the way they labeled states as red-Republican blue-Democratic. It’s really only ever used here in the formation “red state” – this “red territory” “blue city” stuff seems to be another example of the difficulties the average MRA has with understanding how words work.
@Paradoxical Intention – “Flap you in the wenis” made me giggle uncontrollably.