The We Hunted the Mammoth Pledge Drive continues! If you haven’t already, please consider sending some bucks my way. (The PayPal page will say you are donating to Man Boobz.) Thanks!
Congratulations, A Voice for Men! You’ve caused me to feel an actual twinge of sympathy for a woman who once declared, on AVFM no less, that “[w]omen are facing a very real and grave problem in our culture: They are obnoxious [plural form of vagina-related slur redacted.]”
The c-word-slinging woman in question is former AVFM contributor and YouTube micro-celebrity Diana Davison, a friend to and frequent collaborator with another former AVFMer, the infamous “JohnTheOther” Hembling. The two have been sniping at AVFM in videos for months, and getting sniped back at in return, and have both become entangled in the wider war between AVFM and what seems to be virtually the entirety of the Men Going Their Own Way movement.
As Davison’s video above makes clear, this war is getting pretty ugly, with some AVFMers apparently circulating nude photos of Davison in an attempt to shut her up with some good old-fashioned slut-shaming.
The drama escalated dramatically about a week ago, when blabby antifeminist Youtuber Karen “GirlWritesWhat” Straughan — a longtime AVFM ally and “contributing editor” — launched into Davison and Hembling in a series of nasty YouTube comments, accusing Hembling of using the nude pics of Davison in an attempt to seduce Straughan into making a video attacking Paul Elam.
No, really. Here’s the relevant bit of one of her comments. (You’ll have to dig through the comments here to find the whole thing, as well as an assortment of other, well, interesting thoughts on AVFM.) I’ve highlighted the important bits.
John the Other … asked me to if I’d be willing to film a clip of myself Chris Crocker style, sobbing, “Leave Paul Elam ALONE!!!” after I’d repeatedly told him I was staying out of his bullshit with Paul. I’ve seen his girlfriends tits exactly three times, which was three times more than I’d asked to see them, and each time I was shown them I was told, “you’re smart, like me and John, not stupid like Paul and Dean and Sage Gerard and all those other guys at AVFM…”
Oh, and BTW, I’ve seen Diana completely buck, ass, [vagina-related slur redacted] and all. Not because I asked, either, but because apparently they thought it would bring me to their side. I have yet to see Paul in the altogether, and have no real desire to. YMMV.
On that very last point, my mileage definitely does not vary.
In another comment, she wrote that
John the Other and his girlfriend attempted to convince me to attack Paul Elam by showing me her tits and then telling me how smart I am. … [H]e’s willing to put his girlfriend on the buffet table to lure me in, and she’s willing to offer herself up as lunch.
The idea that Hembling is using nude pics of Davison to lure Straughan away from AVFM is a bizarre accusation, and Hembling has what appears to be pretty conclusive evidence — in the form of Skype chat logs of conversations with Straughan — that it’s complete bullshit. (You can watch his rambling video on the subject here; the relevant stuff starts 3:24 in. Hembling, who was ejected from AVFM last year, sounds a lot like someone who has recently escaped a cult.)
Natually, the AVFM regulars have responded to Davison’s video with their customary tact and aplomb. Here’s AVFM “Assistant Managing Editor” and “Director, Disqus Moderation Team” Suzanne McCarley, in the comments to Davison’s video:
Elam, responding to McCarley’s comment, offered a slightly different assessment:
The comments continue on in this vein for some time, with AVFMers accusing Hembling of supporting yet another woman (who, like Davison, was embraced by and then tossed out of AVFM) because, in Elam’s words, “he was toying with the idea of fucking her at the time.”
This isn’t the first time that AVFMers have brought up Davison’s “chest.” Several months back, you may recall, AVFM’s “Chief Operations Officer” Dean Esmay accused Davison of using pics of her “titties” to lure MGTOWers to the anti-Paul-Elam Dark Side.
Now, it’s true that Davison is an anti-feminist ideologue with appalling ideas and a nasty rhetoricial style. She ends most of her YouTube videos with rape jokes. She regularly attacks other women as “cunts” and “narcissistic twats.” She thinks that men commit crimes mostly in order to get more stuff for the demanding women in their lives. She thinks that any woman who goes to sleep next to a man in bed is thereby giving him permission to penetrate her in her sleep. By joining up with the MGTOW movement as a weird sort of Female MGTOWer she’s siding with some of the internet’s skeeziest and most obsessive misogynists.
In other words, she’s at least as bad, ideologically speaking, as the AVFMers she now regularly attacks.
Nonetheless, she doesn’t deserve this sort of shit from AVFM assholes attempting to use attacks on her sexuality as a way to shut her up. No one does.
But apparently those at AVFM think this is how “human rights activism” is done.
@ Lam
Some people are just taking this word ,,NO” as if its THE ONLY way to sa”hey dude/girl stop it”….
if she backed away and told him to leave…well obviously her consent to this ”joke” wasnt given…
You just dont grab random people, they don’t need to say no. Its YOU who need to understand that this behavior is not okay.
Its like saying ”Hey Im gonna hit some people, and stop ONLY if they say ”no”..
Ok, this comparison is a little harsh, but you get the idea.
@snorkmaiden,
https://www.wehuntedthemammoth.com/2013/06/18/a-voice-for-men-gets-stung-or-thewoolybumblebees-revenge/
Basically, Kristina Hansen was kicked out for her anti-MGTOW screeds, she accused Elam of letting Earl Silverman die, and then AVFM started a campaign accusing her of stealing the $6000 their Silverman fundraiser brought in over 3 days. The public evidence suggests Hansen was always the one championing the Earl Silverman Center within AVFM (though it is one of only a few times AVFM ever raised money for a cause other than Paul Elam, probably to defuse the negative publicity), and she started and controlled the charity the money was going to.
Only an idiot thinks you can start a center to help men with only $6k (you can’t even rent a decent commercial building for a few months in most places for that), so she is most likely being honest when she said the slime campaign killed any chance the Earl Silverman Center had of ever getting enough money to open it’s doors. Last I remember reading, she was going to donate the money to another charity.
She refused to show the books to Elam after they started attacking her. Maybe she did use some of the money for personal expenses. Since all of AVFM’s donations seem to go to supporting Elam, he probably isn’t the best person to raise that particular hobbyhorse.
And this is interesting from Wooly Bumblebee:
http://thewoolybumblebee.blogspot.com/2015/03/oh-dramz-lets-end-this.html?spref=tw
She seems extremely mad that they’re still libeling her. I haven’t read the whole thing yet, but a skim seems to confirm that Hansen didn’t pocket any of the Earl Silverman money, and she also accuses Elam of pocketing money from other AVFM fundraisers to pay for his condo.
Thank you everyone for the support. I didnt mean to derail this articles comments but I didnt know where else to go. I’ve been through sexual assaults many times since I was little but this time it’s all getting to me pretty bad.
And that fox is cuteness overload. >^.^<3
I wonder if these MRA women realize that they were never really accepted into the MRM etc. The only time MRAs (etc) care about a woman is when she is agreeing with EVERYTHING they say and they can use her to say “hah! See! We’re not women hating assholes! We even have women in our movement”
But these ladies seem to have some sort of bizarre world view and self hate that I just can’t understand.
@Lam:
Don’t worry about it. 🙂
(Also, I didn’t mean to link to the open thread to try to get you not to comment in this one… I just recall reading it every so often and finding people being super supportive. Sorry if it came across that way.)
Which I can very easily believe. By now, it’s obvious to anyone who’s been following this site (and AVFMorons, too) that Paul Elam doesn’t believe in raising money to benefit any man other than Paul Elam.
Hell, he’s even said so himself.
Lam – I am so sorry to hear that you were assaulted. Yes, it was assault.
You were asleep – that meant you could not give consent.
Your other friend did not consent to be touched, either.
Only a clear and confident Yes means Yes.
No means No.
Asleep means No.
Too drunk means No.
Uncomfortable or afraid means No.
Silence or hesitation means No.
Hostile, recoiling or ambiguous body language means No.
A Yes given under pressure, threat or coercion is not consent.
Yes to X does not mean Yes to Y and Z
The default is always No until both (or more) people involved have said a clear, unambiguous Yes.
Anyone who touches people sexually while they are unconscious or clearly backing away is a predatory scumbag, and it is not your fault that they choose to act this way. Your ‘feminist friends’ are wrong, but you should remember that you are not alone. Thousands of people have had similar experiences to the ones you describe and although everyone’s story will be different, there is so much support out there for you.
I don’t know what resources are available to you, but confidential counseling is provided on college campuses, and as part of local mental health services. The National Sexual Assault Hotline is linked in the sidebar https://ohl.rainn.org/online/ if you’re in the US.
Spend some time taking good care of yourself, and try to assemble some friends who are on Team You and will be able to support you if you’re having a tough time with what has happened. Allow yourself time to grieve, adjust, work through any emotions you may be feeling.
Whenever I’m in a crisis, I find it useful to focus on small, everyday tasks that are part of keeping myself healthy and in control of basic, functional life stuff, like taking a shower, doing laundry, vacuuming the floor, or going out for a walk. Your Mileage May Vary, but keeping the focus on you an your basic needs is important – don’t let anyone tell you how you should be reacting to anything.
It’s up to you whether or not you decide to report the incident, but for now I want you to know that we all wish you peace and healing and want you to get all the help you need.
Wait, what? I can’t even follow this. Crabs in a bucket I guess?
Lam, I’m never sure what I can add that isn’t being said, but I will say that supporting you is much more important and personal than pointing at AVFM people and wondering wtf is wrong with them. Even to those of us who aren’t sure what we can say that will help you that others aren’t already saying.
I really don’t get people’s fascination with boobs. Half the population has them and they are pretty much the same. And women tend to have the same number of them. I mean, they are nothing special.
Anyway, your comment makes me think of one of my favorite scenes from Malcolm in the Middle-
Caroline: I’m here because I think there is a tremendous opportunity for Malcolm. Could you maybe put a top on?
Lois: They’re just boobs, lady. You see ’em in the mirror every morning, and I’m sure yours are a lot nicer than mine.
Wow… So in MRA-land breast pics and nude pics are currency… You’d think the internet would have inflated that to the point of collapse.
It reminds me of that creepy song at the Oscars a while back where Seth MacFarlane’s creepy boob song. As if seeing images of a particular woman’s boobs gives them power over the woman. “Get back foul woman! Thou hast no power over me. I hath seen thy boobs!”
Really disturbing.
Is it terrible of me that I don’t want to call out avoiceformen for miseducating men about women and making it look far more bleak than it is because the more guys who throw away their money and potential the less competition over women I have? Elam is ruining their lives and I can reap all the benefits.
@Tessa:
Oooh, ooh ooh! So basically boobs are a woman’s True Name! I knew it!
It isn’t terrible, but…. there are roughly 3.8 billion women in the world. The chances of Elam screwing up enough men for even one of them to have been a potential competitor for the woman you’re interested in is almost non-existent.
To put it another way, Creflo Dollar is scamming enough mega-church members to fly in his private jet between 3 multi-million dollar homes. Elam is raking in the donations to the tune of a $120k condo. There is a sucker born every minute, and 99.9999% of them aren’t stupid enough to fall for Elam’s bullshit.
Kirbywarp:
Oh crap! I said too much. Sorry, but I gotta report this and prepare you to be tested… Either you’ll be approved clearance for the knowledge, or you’ll be sent to re-edcuation where you’ll “forget” it.
Good luck!
@Tessa:
Don’t worry, I’ve been training my whole life for this moment! I won’t let the feminist overmind down!
@Tessa:
Don’t worry, I’ve been training my whole life for this moment! I won’t let the feminist overmind down!
Oh weird, apparently I posted that comment already. I don’t remember that at all.
Oh well, I’m ready! Maybe then I’ll be told what special knowledge I’ve gained clearance for!
Kirbywarp:
Double posting… Shows enthusiasm. Noted.
On a side note and completely off topic, it’s tough trying to have a serious conversation with someone online about Wonder Woman’s new costume when they actually link to a Reaxxion article. It makes me lose all interest in carrying on. Huge red flag. *mutters and wanders away*
Yeah, that’d be the point where I’d walk away in the conversation too. No sense putting up with that shit, you’ll only give yourself a headache.
This, this – so much THIS! No is the default, ONLY a yes means yes!
@Shalimar
That was the most confusing part for me, as well. Even if they are the most glorious pair of breasts in the world (and they’re probably just average ol’ boobs), wouldn’t the reaction be “Hmm…nice bewbs, thanks for the pic.” I mean, why would she have seen the pic and declared “Wow, these bewbs remind me of how I am way too smart to bother with AVFM!” There’s literally NO connection. Sounds more like some fucked up love triangle gone awry, to me, but who knows with MRM folks. They seem to live in bizarro world.
Also, to second everyone else who commented on Lam’s post: you and your friend were assaulted, no doubt about it. I know what it’s like to doubt yourself, your memory, your emotions. Don’t. As someone else pointed out already, if YOU felt wrong about it, it WAS wrong. Period. I would agree with fellow mammotheers that seeking counseling is a wonderful, confidential way to sort things out and possibly help others in the future. Good luck and hugs if you’d like any!
[blockquote]Hembling, who was ejected from AVFM last year, sounds a lot like someone who has recently escaped a cult.[/blockquote]
Indeed… I imagine AVFM is something like that. (Though, sadly, it doesn’t sound as if he’s moved onto anything better.)
Sorry…I have the mind of a hamster.