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Your girlfriend may be a secret uggo using makeup to deceive you, Red Pill dudes warn

Some women use makeup to try to disguise the fact that they are zombies
Some women use makeup to try to disguise the fact that they are zombies

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Bad news, guys! Over on the Red Pill subreddit, the regulars have uncovered a massive conspiracy to dupe men into relationships with women who are not the 8/10 would-bang hotties that they seem! This conspiracy is known as “makeup” — and you may already be a victim!

Earlier today, a Red Pill Redditor calling himself constructiveasshole dropped a massive truth bomb on his Red Pill colleagues. It turns out that that pretty gal you have your eye on — or that you might even be dating! —  is actually … not so pretty. Because women are FAKE.

Constructiveasshole, drawing on his own sad story, revealed some of the dirty tricks that women use to lure men to their doom:

My 24yo ex-girlfriend was an actress and I learned a shitton about how fake women are by dating her.

We lived together for a year in Los Angeles and I watched her get ready for auditions and wow. Like, this girl was a 5 at best without any makeup on. But when she got all dolled up for an audition I watched her apply pounds of thick foundation, false eyelashes, blonde hair extensions, blue contacts (seriously, some incredibly convincing blue contacts she ordered monthly from Italy), a padded bra (she was barely a B without it), extreme shapewear with butt pad inserts (!), and tons of other shit.

Butt pads! Will these evil harpies stop at nothing?

She also confessed to getting a nose job for her 18th birthday. Her new nose is cute. Her old nose was huge, like a witch. She got a tiny bit of botox in her lips and face, though this was harder to spot.

THE NOSE IS A LIE.

It didn’t look unnatural. Everything she did was extreme but it was subtle, wearing jeans and a t-shirt she looked like a casual hot girl. But she never got all dolled up for me unless we went out in public. Her hotness, and the 8/10 I assigned her when we met, was a lie.

TRULY WE ARE LIVING IN THE MATRIX.

But constructiveasshole’s ex is not the only devious 5/10 would-not-bang not-hottie using extreme-yet-subtle trickery to dupe men into assigning them several more hotness points than they objectively deserve.

Living in LA I’ve learned that beauty is in the bones. If a girl is truly beautiful she will look good with her makeup off. I think we should quit basing girls’ SMV on the caked-on lies they post on Instagram/Tinder, and instead rate them on the awkward candids buried in their Facebooks. I stared at this 5/10 every night and could barely fuck her by the end. Her bones were average and she’s boring.

So, fellas, remember to check the bones before popping a boner. Because you don’t want to end up bonerless in bed with an average batch of bones.

Learn to look past their makeup. Especially if you want to have kids with her! They might inherit her real eye color and real body size and real complexion and real nose/lips/wrinkles. I can spot plastic surgery a mile away now and it’s an instant nope. If she’s 25 and has had lots of work done, she’s a CC-rider trying to disguise her premature aging. No thanks.

Other Red Pillers stepped up to confirm that this evil conspiracy is as real as the totally objective 1-10 scale you can use to rate all women.

Captainpixysticks warned that the conspiracy is a vast one:

captainpixystick 40 points 9 hours ago   I'd say most women are ugly. Make up is the only reason why they look as attractive as they do. Women are very insecure because they know this. They know that 3 minutes with a wet towel would take them from an 8 to a 4.      permalink     embed     save     report     give gold  [–]George_l_rockwell 16 points 7 hours ago   Yeah, I live at a university, and women here look like completely different people when their makeup isn't on here. No homo, but men actually fare much better without makeup over women. If women didn't wear makeup, a lot of "hot chicks" would be on the same attractive league as many betas.

epixs — also, like George_l_rockwell, not a homosexual — wondered if there was “someway” to figure out if a bitch’s seeming beauty was the result of the cosmeticspiracy.

epixs 2 points 5 hours ago   Is there anyway I can learn how to spot womens make up tricks.  no homo but I analyze guys muscles and muscle insertions since I've started lifting 4-5 years ago (selective perception).  Wish there was someway I could distinctly spot a bitch using tons of makeup even if she pulls of as natural. It pisses me of thinking some 3-4/10 disguised as a 8/10 would trick me into believing shes hot.

2akurate, homosexual status unknown, brought up a worrying complication: the difficulty in telling that a hot girl is hot when she’s not dressed like a hottie.

2akurate 14 points 8 hours ago   Same here mate, this girl would turn heads where ever she whent, but when I got her off her high heels and she put her make-up off for the night she was a regular plain ass girl. Since that relationship I'm very conscious of this female trickery.  There is one problem inherent in men though (or maybe its just me) I don't notice beautiful girls if they wear normal clothes. Sometimes as an exercise I imagine a normal looking girl with heels and the lot and I can immediatly see how she could be totally hot, but she wouldn't turn up on my radar otherwise. It's evolution I guess, everyone is adapting and we can't really blame the girls as our own behavior is forcing them to distinguish themselves from the others.

HumanSockPuppet pointed out yet another complication: sometimes women who do have good bone structure turn out to be Emma Watson.

HumanSockPuppet 4 points 7 hours ago   As far as I'm concerned, Emma Watson is one of the ugliest bitches out there.  She may have decent bones, but her soul is tainted.

Stay frosty, fellas! It’s a treacherous world out there.

EDIT: Forgot to give a H/T to ResidentBalkanBitch on r/thebluepill for alerting me to the red pill post.

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Catalpa
Catalpa
9 years ago

I… I don’t understand these guys. If you’re dating someone, isn’t stuff like, oh, having mutual interests, feeling compatible, finding the other person’s company and conversations enjoyable, and generally just having fun hanging out with the person way more important than what they look like? For me, someone could be ridiculously conventionally attractive, but if they opened up their mouth and started spewing shit like the MRAs, for instance, any beauty I saw in them would vanish instantly, to be replaced with absolute repulsion.

I think Roal Dahl put this sort of thing pretty well:
comment image

I guess these guys don’t want to date a human being, they just want a pretty toy that cleans up after them and lets them fuck it.

katz
9 years ago

That woman putting on makeup is my new hero.

Bonnie Patterson (@Kyberian)

I deeply respect these Red Pillers for standing so firm on their principles. I’m glad they don’t do nasty, fake things like lying to someone to get them into bed, or refusing to take a polite no for an answer when they know someone doesn’t want to sleep with them.

Down with fakes!

weirwoodtreehugger
9 years ago

In other news an analysis of all the subreddits found red pill to be the most toxic. I’m shocked. Shocked! http://internet.gawker.com/a-scientific-ranking-of-which-parts-of-reddit-are-most-1693158094/+sambiddle

weirwoodtreehugger
9 years ago

There’s some missing punctuation in my comment. I blame being sick.

Elliot Rodger Was A Terrorist
Elliot Rodger Was A Terrorist
9 years ago

George_l_rockwell, huh?

What makes me think that screenname is a reference to George Lincoln Rockwell, the neo-Nazi? Somehow it doesn’t surprise me that redpillers would admire neo-Nazis, given that both seem obsessed with the idealized Aryan physique….

deniseeliza
deniseeliza
9 years ago
katz
9 years ago

Look what I found: Another PUA book that sounds like it was written by space aliens. (Make sure to check out the Look Inside!)

Leda Atomica
Leda Atomica
9 years ago

@Elliot Rodger Was A Terrorist:

How did you make three tiny dots and one large one? O_O

dvarghundspossen
9 years ago

Related to this, many men believe that the highest compliment they can pay a woman is to call her beautiful or pretty when she’s not wearing make-up. Personally, I’d rather be complimented for my make-up. My make-up is something I’ve done, and it says something about my taste and style. My face is just something I was born with.

Paradoxical Intention
9 years ago

dvarghundspossen | March 24, 2015 at 1:25 am
Related to this, many men believe that the highest compliment they can pay a woman is to call her beautiful or pretty when she’s not wearing make-up. Personally, I’d rather be complimented for my make-up. My make-up is something I’ve done, and it says something about my taste and style. My face is just something I was born with.

When you compliment a girl/woman on her face, it seems more like you’re complimenting her parents rather than her. : /

It comes off as “Hey! Your parents made a good decision to bang and have you!”, rather than “I like your face that you put a lot of effort and time into maintaining!”. It kind of smacks of ye olden days of asking a father to marry a daughter instead of, y’know, asking her.

I agree with you on this one. Makeup takes skill and practice and is far more dependent on the individual. Having a face is not.

Though, don’t get me started on the “Saying how I’d like to shove my peen in your orifices is a compliment! Jeez!” fuckery.

contrapangloss
contrapangloss
9 years ago

Honestly, I get weirded out by ANYONE other than my grandparents calling me ‘pretty’ or ‘beautiful’.

Even then, it’s something I accept because I love them, and not because it makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

‘Nice’ is okay and doesn’t freak me out, but when people call me pretty it’s just… I don’t like it. It turns normal-day into ‘what the heck is going on’-day and is weird, and I don’t like it.

Seriously, the better compliments are compliments about what I worked on, not ‘You exist and I’d like to inform you that I find you aesthetically appealing wallpaper for my life’.

Shaenon
9 years ago

Yeah. That happened. That is totally a thing that happened in the real world.

I can believe he knew a woman in L.A. who wanted to be an actress. Aspiring actor or aspiring screenwriter, those are your choices.

Thank goodness he escaped before fathering children with her hideous real eye color.

Tessa
Tessa
9 years ago

Well, that was pretty horrifying. I am especially amused by the no homo bit… They can’t even compliment another dude without expressing that they’re not gay first. That’s seriously messed up.

I wonder if these guys have imagined how awesome they would look if they wore make up. Hey red pill reddit guys, maybe it’s the straight women who are cheated by not wearing it. If a woman can go from a 4 to a 9 or 10, you hot manly red pill 10 dudes could become like a 15! Just imagine all the natural HB10s you’d get like that. And none of the blue pillers will have thought of it, so you’ll have an even better edge than just negging.

When I used to have a buzz cut, I never bothered to wear make up, but I tend to wear some with more frequency now that I keep my hair long. Mostly to shut up people at work. Stupid social pressure.

katz
9 years ago

I wonder if these guys have imagined how awesome they would look if they wore make up. Hey red pill reddit guys, maybe it’s the straight women who are cheated by not wearing it. If a woman can go from a 4 to a 9 or 10, you hot manly red pill 10 dudes could become like a 15! Just imagine all the natural HB10s you’d get like that. And none of the blue pillers will have thought of it, so you’ll have an even better edge than just negging.

Added bonus: You’re cheating her by pretending to be hotter than you are.

NicolaLuna
NicolaLuna
9 years ago

Suddenly I’m SO FUCKING HAPPY that I have enormous fake boobs.

Mr Luna actually prefers me without make up and liked my pre-surgery boobs but I kind of enjoy the fake look – I have rainbow hair and a ton of tattoos as well.

I was worried that I lost feminist points by having plastic surgery but now I can rest easy knowing that fake boobs are misandry!!

Spindrift
Spindrift
9 years ago

Ok, so redpillers have X-ray vision now? Do they even want the woman with the perfect skeleton, or is it all about waiting till she pops her clogs so they can shack up with the skeleton and have that perfect love like Aurini and his skull have?

This also reminded me of this story
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/man-sues-wife-for-being-ugly-1415695

Tessa
Tessa
9 years ago

Katz:

Added bonus: You’re cheating her by pretending to be hotter than you are.

Yeah! I didn’t even think of that. That’s even better. All those stuck up HB10s deserve it. Extra points if they remove their make-up after they’re done, so they can show the feeeeeemales what they really slept with.

estraven
estraven
9 years ago

I’m now in my sixties and have opted out of makeup (except for foundation) because it’s time-consuming and tedious (for me, not saying for everyone obviously) and anyway women my age are pretty much invisible, which is a relief. But I have friends my age who still wear makeup and they look great in it. This must be a puzzle to the MRAs who don’t find any woman over 25 worth anything: why, they must think, would a woman bother at that age? Because they can’t conceive of women doing things JUST FOR THEMSELVES as in self-expression, liking what you see in the mirror, etc. This whole “women are devious tricksters because makeup!” thing is just bizarre.

benegesseritwitch
benegesseritwitch
9 years ago

Yup. I’m such a heinous liar about my appearance as a woman, that on the first date with the father of my as-yet unborn child I did not wear any make-up at all, even though I had pictures on my profile with make-up on. I figured if he was a good dude, he’d like me anyway. And he did! Because most guys aren’t whiny egotistical crybabies.

Moggie
Moggie
9 years ago

I have a hard time believing that there is any adult man in the developed world who is unaware of the transformative power of makeup. Even if you’ve never been in a relationship with a woman, even if you don’t have close family who use makeup, the power of cosmetics is acknowledged and even celebrated in popular culture. Surely you’d have to live some kind of Amish life to have not seen before-and-after comparisons?

Leda Atomica
Leda Atomica
9 years ago

It’s odd that the biggest men’s rights issues are what women choose to do with their own bodies. That’s the stuff they’re always angriest about.

Shows the mentality that women shouldn’t be autonomous, and that their existence should only be about men or it’s unfair.

sunnysombrera
9 years ago

@Leda
You’re right! Or its about what men should be allowed to do to women, or what should happen to women if they do something that their kind doesn’t like.

Norapinephrine
Norapinephrine
9 years ago

love the “how do i spot makeup” dude. STEP ONE: IS SHE LITERALLY SPARKLING? THAT IS MAKEUP

LordCrowstaff
LordCrowstaff
9 years ago

So the people who have an entire movement devoted to tricking women into bed, part of which is the so-called “peacocking”, or dressing up as garishly as possible to draw attention, are complaining about makeup and “fake women”? While at the same time complaining about “ugly women” not caring about their looks.

Truly, these are the last day.