The We Hunted the Mammoth Pledge Drive continues! If you haven’t already, please consider sending some bucks my way. (The PayPal page will say you are donating to Man Boobz.) Thanks!
Bad news, guys! Over on the Red Pill subreddit, the regulars have uncovered a massive conspiracy to dupe men into relationships with women who are not the 8/10 would-bang hotties that they seem! This conspiracy is known as “makeup” — and you may already be a victim!
Earlier today, a Red Pill Redditor calling himself constructiveasshole dropped a massive truth bomb on his Red Pill colleagues. It turns out that that pretty gal you have your eye on — or that you might even be dating! — is actually … not so pretty. Because women are FAKE.
Constructiveasshole, drawing on his own sad story, revealed some of the dirty tricks that women use to lure men to their doom:
My 24yo ex-girlfriend was an actress and I learned a shitton about how fake women are by dating her.
We lived together for a year in Los Angeles and I watched her get ready for auditions and wow. Like, this girl was a 5 at best without any makeup on. But when she got all dolled up for an audition I watched her apply pounds of thick foundation, false eyelashes, blonde hair extensions, blue contacts (seriously, some incredibly convincing blue contacts she ordered monthly from Italy), a padded bra (she was barely a B without it), extreme shapewear with butt pad inserts (!), and tons of other shit.
Butt pads! Will these evil harpies stop at nothing?
She also confessed to getting a nose job for her 18th birthday. Her new nose is cute. Her old nose was huge, like a witch. She got a tiny bit of botox in her lips and face, though this was harder to spot.
THE NOSE IS A LIE.
It didn’t look unnatural. Everything she did was extreme but it was subtle, wearing jeans and a t-shirt she looked like a casual hot girl. But she never got all dolled up for me unless we went out in public. Her hotness, and the 8/10 I assigned her when we met, was a lie.
TRULY WE ARE LIVING IN THE MATRIX.
But constructiveasshole’s ex is not the only devious 5/10 would-not-bang not-hottie using extreme-yet-subtle trickery to dupe men into assigning them several more hotness points than they objectively deserve.
Living in LA I’ve learned that beauty is in the bones. If a girl is truly beautiful she will look good with her makeup off. I think we should quit basing girls’ SMV on the caked-on lies they post on Instagram/Tinder, and instead rate them on the awkward candids buried in their Facebooks. I stared at this 5/10 every night and could barely fuck her by the end. Her bones were average and she’s boring.
So, fellas, remember to check the bones before popping a boner. Because you don’t want to end up bonerless in bed with an average batch of bones.
Learn to look past their makeup. Especially if you want to have kids with her! They might inherit her real eye color and real body size and real complexion and real nose/lips/wrinkles. I can spot plastic surgery a mile away now and it’s an instant nope. If she’s 25 and has had lots of work done, she’s a CC-rider trying to disguise her premature aging. No thanks.
Other Red Pillers stepped up to confirm that this evil conspiracy is as real as the totally objective 1-10 scale you can use to rate all women.
Captainpixysticks warned that the conspiracy is a vast one:
![captainpixystick 40 points 9 hours ago I'd say most women are ugly. Make up is the only reason why they look as attractive as they do. Women are very insecure because they know this. They know that 3 minutes with a wet towel would take them from an 8 to a 4. permalink embed save report give gold [–]George_l_rockwell 16 points 7 hours ago Yeah, I live at a university, and women here look like completely different people when their makeup isn't on here. No homo, but men actually fare much better without makeup over women. If women didn't wear makeup, a lot of "hot chicks" would be on the same attractive league as many betas.](https://i0.wp.com/www.wehuntedthemammoth.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/captain.png?resize=494%2C347&ssl=1)
epixs — also, like George_l_rockwell, not a homosexual — wondered if there was “someway” to figure out if a bitch’s seeming beauty was the result of the cosmeticspiracy.
2akurate, homosexual status unknown, brought up a worrying complication: the difficulty in telling that a hot girl is hot when she’s not dressed like a hottie.
HumanSockPuppet pointed out yet another complication: sometimes women who do have good bone structure turn out to be Emma Watson.
Stay frosty, fellas! It’s a treacherous world out there.
EDIT: Forgot to give a H/T to ResidentBalkanBitch on r/thebluepill for alerting me to the red pill post.
This woman puts on make up like a boss
http://media.indiatimes.in/media/content/2014/Oct/makeup+in+10+sec_f975bd_4582624_1413285616.gif
Those grapes are so sour.
Hot actress gf who was secretly not good enough for you?
http://karlmac.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/0LAbg.gif
Yeah. That happened. That is totally a thing that happened in the real world.
Fruitloopsie,
I’m seeing it, but HOW IS THAT EVEN?! That lady is…. I’m going to go with amazing, because how?!
(Also, my phone really wants you to be called ‘fruit poolside’. I had to correct it, twice.)
Does this translate to them only having seen women in the media? Because after that typhoon of long-legged, eternally professionally made-up megababes it must be quite a shock to be thrown into a uni with women whose profession isn’t to please the male gaze.
It’s sort of like I was disappointed with men because they’re not all Keanu Reeves, because that’s who I fancied when I was 12.
I wonder how alien it seems to these guys when people date a person and not a trophy?
http://s.myniceprofile.com/myspacepic/1456/145625.jpg
fruitloopsie,
Yep. Every time I hear these guys hate make up:
http://media.giphy.com/media/Nowgsw9mO8ycM/giphy.gif
http://www.seoulsync.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/putting-on-makeup-before-going-out.gif
http://cdn.theglow.com.au/app/uploads/2014/11/emma-stone-lipstick-gif.gif
http://38.media.tumblr.com/9e68530d93018b3486bcf86c7d68f547/tumblr_n5ffm0iFBb1qffhzzo1_500.gif
And I’m sure every one of these fine gentlemen is a fucking oil painting.
Wow, I am such misandry today. Many misandry.
As in, I never wear makeup, I’m still pretty, and then there’s the ultimate misandry of being a lesbian under the age of consent.
Do I get misandry points? :3
Contrapangloss, I’m not positive, but I’d guess what that woman does is “shoot footage of arranging make-up on a table, smack face into table” then “clean up table, put on make-up, shoot footage of lifting head from table.”
Well, clearly the way to expose the lies of make-up and determine a woman’s actual hotness rating is the same as proving that a woman with legs is actually a mermaid: HOSE HER DOWN WITH WATER! Seriously, there are sooooo many mermaids out there whose only goal is to use their fake legs to lure human men to their deaths in the watery-deep.
Note to self—BUY MOAR EYELINER!
Contrapangloss
She’s just awesome! That’s fine I don’t mind being called “Fruit poolside”
Lea
::fangirl squee:: I love Tim Curry!
Andiexist
http://www.shoeboxblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/MacLauchlan_youscorea10.gif
I can toss you a few, andiexist. I have a huge stockpile from taking my fiancée to a Tegan and Sara concert for our anniversary last year.
On topic now. The thing I don’t get (maybe because of my “untouched by man” status) is that I see tons of pretty girls everywhere, and I work at a factory in the Midwest. Could it be that I know that true beauty exists inside and out, and thanks to my observant nature I see inner beauty just as easily as outer? Or is it that I do not interpret “makeup or natural perfection” as the only true beauty, instead finding funny or witty personalities to be attractive? Nah, must be something about feminists and female trickery…
Also I am very tomboyish (lots of plaid, geek shirts, camo) and I get skeezy looks when I wear makeup, so maybe those kind of guys aren’t as selective as they claim.
Fruitloopsie: That gif was awesome. (Like a Boss!)
I never wear makeup. The closest I get is lip balm, because I get a little chappy, in the winter.
I look great in makeup, btw. I just prefer showing my face-face and don’t like feeling stuff on my skin. (And I guess I must look okay without it because men still treat me like people.)
In the first place, Botox is not used on the lips. It won’t make lips look fuller.
In the second place, 24 year olds don’t need Botox, at all.
In the third place, there is no third place. That guy is fantasizing. This is the non-sexual version of a letter to a jerk-off mag. “Dear Penthouse, I never thought anything like this would happen to me, but I totally had this hot actress girlfriend, well she wasn’t so hot when she took her makeup off, but anyway this one time her MUCH HOTTER friend came over, and…”
First Audrey Hepburn and now Emma Watson. If you’re gonna insult women by comparing them to other women…maybe choose women who aren’t *effing awesome* as insults???
Hmm…now that I think of it, maybe the reason PUAs swear “negging” totally works is that their ideas of what’s insulting to women are so different from that of normal society’s, and they don’t realize many of what they consider insults are actually compliments.
MRA: God, you’re such a strong, independent woman who owns her own sexuality and doesn’t just exist to please men, like Beyonce.
HB10: Oh, wow, that is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.
MRA: Women secretly love getting put down by alphas!
Also holy shit, guys, STOP CONFUSING SOCIETY WITH “EVOLUTION.”
I usually wear makeup on special occasions like going to a show. My skin is sensitive so I just wear eyeshadow and mascara.
Speaking of Botox
You don’t seem to realize that says so much more about you than them.
On a similar note, I wonder how many of these men aren’t particularly attractive but spend no effort on their appearance anyway because people should love them as they are, while bitching about how much effort normal-looking women take to look great,
If women put on make-up, they’re tricking the menz. If they don’t put on make-up, they’re ugly man-haters who need to be more ladylike.
Which one is it, MRAs??? You can’t have both!
Shalimar
These guys are proberly like Doosh the one who complained that he has to wipe his butt
https://www.wehuntedthemammoth.com/2014/10/02/why-pickup-guru-roosh-v-resents-women-for-forcing-him-to-clip-his-fingernails-and-wipe-his-own-ass/
Well, they’re admitting they’re not homo sapiens, so that’s a step toward self-awareness for them.
Now if we could only get them to acknowledge they’re pond scum… no. That’s an insult to respectable pond scum.
Aren’t these the exact same “nice guys” who accuse women of being shallow when they reject their un-showered, greasy, neckbeard, sprinkled-in-cheeto-dust selves?
They also strike me as the guys who think Clark Kent and Superman are different people because of a pair of horned rim glasses and some hair gel.
fruitloopsie, Shalimar, I have to share this with you: from commenter Jupitaur over at Rawstory:
Enjoy.
They might as well rage at how women shave to trick men into thinking their legs and armpits are smooth and “clean.”
And it’s precious how these Red Pillers think any woman would care about pleasing their boners, or at least feel bad for not pleasing their boners.
Once more, I’m just gonna leave this song here for any Red Pillocks who might be wandering by here to congratulate themselves:
You ain’t all that, boyzzzzz. -2/10, not only would not bang, get your fuck face outta here before I invite you to rub it in a sinkful of Legos.
And if you’re still reading: I’m pretty with or without makeup, even at 47. I don’t wear it for YOU, I wear it for ME. Because I like it, and I don’t give a shit what you think of it. And since you hate it so much, I’m not only gonna wear it, I’m also gonna wear horn-rimmed glasses and put my hair up in a bun.
Neeners.
Yazikus
http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ma64bbhFO61qjnr66.gif