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Your girlfriend may be a secret uggo using makeup to deceive you, Red Pill dudes warn

Some women use makeup to try to disguise the fact that they are zombies
Some women use makeup to try to disguise the fact that they are zombies

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Bad news, guys! Over on the Red Pill subreddit, the regulars have uncovered a massive conspiracy to dupe men into relationships with women who are not the 8/10 would-bang hotties that they seem! This conspiracy is known as “makeup” — and you may already be a victim!

Earlier today, a Red Pill Redditor calling himself constructiveasshole dropped a massive truth bomb on his Red Pill colleagues. It turns out that that pretty gal you have your eye on — or that you might even be dating! —  is actually … not so pretty. Because women are FAKE.

Constructiveasshole, drawing on his own sad story, revealed some of the dirty tricks that women use to lure men to their doom:

My 24yo ex-girlfriend was an actress and I learned a shitton about how fake women are by dating her.

We lived together for a year in Los Angeles and I watched her get ready for auditions and wow. Like, this girl was a 5 at best without any makeup on. But when she got all dolled up for an audition I watched her apply pounds of thick foundation, false eyelashes, blonde hair extensions, blue contacts (seriously, some incredibly convincing blue contacts she ordered monthly from Italy), a padded bra (she was barely a B without it), extreme shapewear with butt pad inserts (!), and tons of other shit.

Butt pads! Will these evil harpies stop at nothing?

She also confessed to getting a nose job for her 18th birthday. Her new nose is cute. Her old nose was huge, like a witch. She got a tiny bit of botox in her lips and face, though this was harder to spot.

THE NOSE IS A LIE.

It didn’t look unnatural. Everything she did was extreme but it was subtle, wearing jeans and a t-shirt she looked like a casual hot girl. But she never got all dolled up for me unless we went out in public. Her hotness, and the 8/10 I assigned her when we met, was a lie.

TRULY WE ARE LIVING IN THE MATRIX.

But constructiveasshole’s ex is not the only devious 5/10 would-not-bang not-hottie using extreme-yet-subtle trickery to dupe men into assigning them several more hotness points than they objectively deserve.

Living in LA I’ve learned that beauty is in the bones. If a girl is truly beautiful she will look good with her makeup off. I think we should quit basing girls’ SMV on the caked-on lies they post on Instagram/Tinder, and instead rate them on the awkward candids buried in their Facebooks. I stared at this 5/10 every night and could barely fuck her by the end. Her bones were average and she’s boring.

So, fellas, remember to check the bones before popping a boner. Because you don’t want to end up bonerless in bed with an average batch of bones.

Learn to look past their makeup. Especially if you want to have kids with her! They might inherit her real eye color and real body size and real complexion and real nose/lips/wrinkles. I can spot plastic surgery a mile away now and it’s an instant nope. If she’s 25 and has had lots of work done, she’s a CC-rider trying to disguise her premature aging. No thanks.

Other Red Pillers stepped up to confirm that this evil conspiracy is as real as the totally objective 1-10 scale you can use to rate all women.

Captainpixysticks warned that the conspiracy is a vast one:

captainpixystick 40 points 9 hours ago   I'd say most women are ugly. Make up is the only reason why they look as attractive as they do. Women are very insecure because they know this. They know that 3 minutes with a wet towel would take them from an 8 to a 4.      permalink     embed     save     report     give gold  [–]George_l_rockwell 16 points 7 hours ago   Yeah, I live at a university, and women here look like completely different people when their makeup isn't on here. No homo, but men actually fare much better without makeup over women. If women didn't wear makeup, a lot of "hot chicks" would be on the same attractive league as many betas.

epixs — also, like George_l_rockwell, not a homosexual — wondered if there was “someway” to figure out if a bitch’s seeming beauty was the result of the cosmeticspiracy.

epixs 2 points 5 hours ago   Is there anyway I can learn how to spot womens make up tricks.  no homo but I analyze guys muscles and muscle insertions since I've started lifting 4-5 years ago (selective perception).  Wish there was someway I could distinctly spot a bitch using tons of makeup even if she pulls of as natural. It pisses me of thinking some 3-4/10 disguised as a 8/10 would trick me into believing shes hot.

2akurate, homosexual status unknown, brought up a worrying complication: the difficulty in telling that a hot girl is hot when she’s not dressed like a hottie.

2akurate 14 points 8 hours ago   Same here mate, this girl would turn heads where ever she whent, but when I got her off her high heels and she put her make-up off for the night she was a regular plain ass girl. Since that relationship I'm very conscious of this female trickery.  There is one problem inherent in men though (or maybe its just me) I don't notice beautiful girls if they wear normal clothes. Sometimes as an exercise I imagine a normal looking girl with heels and the lot and I can immediatly see how she could be totally hot, but she wouldn't turn up on my radar otherwise. It's evolution I guess, everyone is adapting and we can't really blame the girls as our own behavior is forcing them to distinguish themselves from the others.

HumanSockPuppet pointed out yet another complication: sometimes women who do have good bone structure turn out to be Emma Watson.

HumanSockPuppet 4 points 7 hours ago   As far as I'm concerned, Emma Watson is one of the ugliest bitches out there.  She may have decent bones, but her soul is tainted.

Stay frosty, fellas! It’s a treacherous world out there.

EDIT: Forgot to give a H/T to ResidentBalkanBitch on r/thebluepill for alerting me to the red pill post.

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sunnysombrera
5 years ago

I think we should spam the comments of that DMV test pretending to be super hot alpha babes. Yes, even the men here. 😉

weirwoodtreehugger
5 years ago

That test. I love how their are all these exact specific standards for how women look. Yet the test expects women to also praise a man’s small flaccid penis and smile at a man approaching us in a bar even if we aren’t attractive.

It’s also very creepy that you get points for being a minor. The highest scoring age category is 17-20. Ick. Sometimes I’m glad I’m not a teenager anymore and my 34 year old self wilts misogynist boners.

Ellesar
5 years ago

I am guessing that these boys have no idea that feminists have critiqued the wearing of make up & its implications many many times, that generally feminists are less likely to wear a lot of make up (unless punk, goth or other ‘extreme’ style), and that we are positive about no make up?

I have hardly ever worn make up, I had lousy skin as a teen, but I felt that heavy make up made it look worse. I have never been happy about the expense, animal testing, general faff. Usually I have felt just fine the way I am.

I am sure that in the eyes of these tossers an actually make up free woman would be unacceptable, as is our body hair, unplucked eyebrows, blemishes etc

It is so ironic that someone from the manosphere is criticising fakery. PUAs build their entire ‘game’ on faking – not the whole of the manosphere I know, but a very vocal part of it.

Bina
Bina
5 years ago

The sexual market is the ur-market. It is foundational. All other markets — including the venerated economics market — bend their knees to the Sex Market Overlord.

I couldn’t help myself. I laughed uncontrollably reading this. It is just such hilarious gibberish.

It is really no wonder FINRA fired little Jimmy Wiedmann…

ej
ej
5 years ago

I also like the part where there were specific values for waist to hip ratios, but the options for things like jaw line and eye spacing were essentially small, average or large. What does that even mean? I’ve never really compared the length of my jawline to anyone else.

I just don’t understand this quiz. Does he make every woman at the bar take this test so he can hit on the one with the highest score? I don’t see that working out well for him, but my imagination thinks it would be hilarious to watch.

PUA approaches a group of women at a bar.

PUA: “Hello there, ladies. Would each of you complete this quiz to find your DMV?”
(PUA proceeds to hand out papers with the test on them)

Woman #1: “DMV? What does that mean?”

PUA: “It’s your dating market value. I need to know who scores the highest so I can decide which one of you I will be taking home tonight.”

Woman #2 crumples up the paper and stuffs it into the PUA’s beer.

Woman #1: “I’m fairly certain you’re going home alone tonight.”

Tessa
5 years ago

ej:

PUA: “Hello there, ladies. Would each of you complete this quiz to find your DMV?”
(PUA proceeds to hand out papers with the test on them)

Woman #1: “DMV? What does that mean?”

I think a lot of women in the united states, at least, would wonder if he’s talking about a driver’s test or something. Since here DMV often means Department of Motor Vehicles.

Flying Mouse
Flying Mouse
5 years ago

I remember that DMV test! I took the lady one for the lulz a few years back and then ran Mr. FM’s info through the manly version (we didn’t do the hot or not BS, because if you’re an adult who hasn’t already had your appearance painstakingly deconstructed by some asshole along the way, I’d like to meet you and shake your hand). Turns out that we can hypothetically both do better. I told Mr. FM that he was squandering his potential, and he made a face and went to get another Coke.

I think the test is an online neg myself. There’s almost no way you can score perfectly on the damned thing (aka, your breasts are supposed to be naturally large but also extremely perky sans bra? Sure, buddy). So the idea is that a woman takes the test, feels bad about herself, and works to “improve” herself and/or lowers her standards for a partner because Roissy says she’s a hag. In reality, I imagine most women who stumble on the damn thing do what I did: fill it in, laugh, go watch Netflix and forget that the quiz even exists.

@zoyamars – Welcome! If you haven’t already done so, please proceed to the sidebar and collect your welcome packet by clicking on the scented fucking candle.

Emmy Rae
Emmy Rae
5 years ago

Apparently guys may take that quiz for their wife or girlfriend to see if they’ve settled for tepid sex once a week. Can’t you just like, mark the calendar each time and note whether the sex was tepid or not?

Emmy Rae
Emmy Rae
5 years ago

So hot women are lying and ugly women are ugly. Problem solved, ladies! PUAs will now leave us all alone and go work out together admiring each other’s phyisiques. They’ll feel better about themselves and we don’t have to talk to them.

because reasons
because reasons
5 years ago

Re: the guys from the OP
Cool stories, bros.
This one time I was dating a Magic Mike look alike and even though he was verbally abusive I put up with it, because 10″ cock and stunning good looks. Well, one morning I rolled over to find he turned into an Average Joe, level 5 at best and was horrified. His cock had shrunk to a mere 3″! I was so pissed I’d been tricked into fucking the unfuckable. Oh wait. It doesn’t work like that.
Side note, no homo*, but I see lots of women without makeup and think they are plenty beautiful, all by themselves! I also see women who do some incredible makeup and usually compliment them, because it IS a skill and I believe, an art form and vehicle for self-expression.
*That was used as mockery to these asshats, in case it wasn’t clear.

Emmy Rae
Emmy Rae
5 years ago

PUAs: Wait, women have been naked under their clothes the whole time? LIARS!!

I also like that evolution makes us wear heels. Have y’all heard of culture? No?

weirwoodtreehugger
5 years ago

Emmy Rae,
There’s actually no possible way that a man can know if his sex life with his partner is fulfilling for him unless he gets the stamp of approval from PUA bloggers first. Didn’t you know that?

K
K
5 years ago

I love that he really thinks there are women out there who only grow head hair and pubes.

I’m fat enough that apparently I’m not even allowed to take the quiz. BMIs are such bullshit, you’d think from my results (death fat! you will die! oh my god! the fat!) that I’m bedridden, swathed in mumus, rather than a pretty active, pretty fat chick with above average strength and stamina. What’s a fupa?

I also like that these blokes are constantly whinging that “ugly” women can still get whatever they want, and at the same time concocting these elaborate rating scales about how “ugly” women are the ultimate cockblock. So what is the truth?

K
K
5 years ago

I’m not making any value judgement on being bedridden and swathed in mumus, by the bye, but whether you are that or not is impossible to determine from your height and weight. Is what I mean. >.>

Emmy Rae
Emmy Rae
5 years ago

@WWTH “Do you like it when I do this?” “I’m not sure, let me take the survey to find out…what’s your BMI again?”

Emmy Rae
Emmy Rae
5 years ago

I want to be swathed in mumus now. Can I eat mac n cheese swathed in mumus? Hopefully while watching something misandrous.

The dictionary suggests “mums”, “humus” and “mumps” instead of mumus. “Bedridden and swathed in humus” is a funny picture. So is being swathed in mums.

How do you feel today, WWTH?

Scarlettathena
5 years ago

So much nope to deal with. I’ll just pick a couple of points.

(A) I hate, really hate, the way these dudes talk about relationships as a “market”. I would have no problem if there were some psych or sociology study that looked at some aspect in this way, but ordinary people whose only lens is some transactional, even financial one, bring out the rage. It just misses the whole point of having relationships (any kind really, friendship, family, love). To see the whole world through this lens really cheapens life in my opinion.

(B) Do these guys expect that HB 9s and 10s will never age? I know people have joked about robots and whatnot, but it looks like they truly expect that.

(C) All this boasting about their attractions and their claims of “no homo” reminds me of what a poster here, Cerberus, talked about: that men feel in competition with each other. This is all bluster and bravado as a way to express status.

(D) I find it really depressing to see how people diminish the humanity of others by reducing them to mere objects of the gaze. I’m glad I am not aware of anyone like this in my life.

fruitloopsie
fruitloopsie
5 years ago

Spindrift
0-o What!? That guy sued his wife for being ugly and won!? What a ****! And I blamed the court for awarding him. Show that article to any MRA who says that only women take their husbands to court for no reason but just for money.

because reasons
because reasons
5 years ago

The concept that you can be attracted to someone for reasons other than their looks (or in addition to their looks) is so foreign to these ass badgers. But why? Surely they have had friends who thought “that one chick is super cool because reason X” or maybe they even had the thought themselves “wow, I wasn’t physically attracted to this non-HB10 at first, but she is so fun and smart and etc. that she’s actually kind of hot now!” Nope, it’s all about the boner-feels, telling you who’s appropriate to date and/or fuck. That is some BS, right there. These guys don’t think much of women, but it seems that they dislike themselves even more if they reduce all men to nothing more than hot-vagina-detectors.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants

@Flying Mouse – Spot on, the whole quiz seems like a neg designed to get women feeling insecure about themselves, and feeling like they’ve “won” something valuable if Heartiste and ilk deign to pay attention to them. Guys like this also think that behaving like a dog-show judge makes them sound knowledgeable about women.

I like to envision PUAs taking to the bars armed with calipers, trigonometry tables, calculators, and laser-guided levels to ensure that they only approach women with approved hip angles and chin-to-mouth ratios. Without a conformation chart and a set of numbers, how can they tell if they’re allowed to be attracted to someone?

And these guys call themselves alphas?

because reasons
because reasons
5 years ago

@Buttercup

Without a conformation chart and a set of numbers, how can they tell if they’re allowed to be attracted to someone

That’s a good point. I was thinking their raging boners would be the only indicators they needed- but the boner might get excited by an HB7 or a fictional character or the wind blowing. No, we can’t trust the almighty boner to be 100% (or even 10%) accurate! Boners are misandry!!!11!

estraven
estraven
5 years ago

All of this discussion is, strangely enough, making me nostalgic. When I met Mr. Estraven, I never wore makeup, yet he pursued me. We married young, and I can remember a night in our two-room apartment when he accosted me outside the tiny bathroom and told me I looked so beautiful (I’m sure I wouldn’t have rated above a 5 to the PUAs) and wanted to make love. And then a night in our kitchen (years later) when I was very pregnant and again not wearing any makeup and he undid the ties of my sundress and . . . well we won’t go there. Where do these assholes come from, anyway?

because reasons
because reasons
5 years ago

In my experience, the majority of folks I’ve been with have thought I was beautiful without makeup. There have been a couple who turned all “wow, you look super hot” when I did my makeup all special, which I did take as a compliment because I had put in the extra effort (although it simultaneously made me a little sad that it was the makeup turning them on). And then I remember one guy in particular who had basically fetishized me and only thought I was hot when I looked a certain way…which made me feel like shit. Isn’t the point that when you’re in love with someone, they just look amazing to you, because you don’t just see their outward appearance, but all the wonderful qualities they possess? Psssshhh, but I guess that’s just my lame lady brain talking.

Spindrift
Spindrift
5 years ago

fruitloopsie
It’s a pretty aweful story, I feel sad for the child especially. Imagine having a dad who thought you were so ugly he sued your mom over it, that’s just monstrous. No “dad of the year” mug for him!

because reasons
because reasons
5 years ago

And I just saw this “breaking” story: https://www.yahoo.com/beauty/7-crazy-ways-makeup-affects-your-love-life-112280830608.html

From the article: “According to a study from Procter & Gamble, wearing makeup makes you seem more competent. That means you should probably wear a little makeup to your first job interview and first date, because who wants to date someone who is incompetent?”

Fuuuck! Why do they keep publishing this garbage??!

bekabot
5 years ago

STEP ONE: IS SHE LITERALLY SPARKLING?

Well, there’s always the ‘Twilight Vampire’ possibility, but that’s a long shot.

fruitloopsie
fruitloopsie
5 years ago

Spindrift
He gets nothing period! She should divorce him and never see him ever again she and the child deserves better.

Because reasons
I don’t know seriously no one cares about that kind of trash.

http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view5/20140318/5002891/edward-cullen-sparkling-o.gif
My brother actually likes the Twilight series

because reasons
because reasons
5 years ago

@fruitloopsie
I agree, it’s total trash. But some impressionable women/men (or young folks) may very well take this “advice” and crap-science to heart. 🙁

katz
5 years ago

And then I remember one guy in particular who had basically fetishized me and only thought I was hot when I looked a certain way…which made me feel like shit. Isn’t the point that when you’re in love with someone, they just look amazing to you, because you don’t just see their outward appearance, but all the wonderful qualities they possess? Psssshhh, but I guess that’s just my lame lady brain talking.

You also see this in patriarchal Christian circles. They talk a lot about wives “letting themselves go” (ie, aging) and looking good for their husbands. If a woman gets made up and dressed up to go out but is casual and doesn’t wear makeup around the house, that’s treated as disrespectful and mean to the husband, because she doesn’t care about looking nice for him.

Meanwhile, there is no examination of the fact that the husbands apparently find their wives unattractive unless they’re all dolled up.

because reasons
because reasons
5 years ago

@katz
Yes! I think even outside of the religious groups this is somewhat common (at least in older or more “traditional” couples). You need to stay looking as good for your hubby as the day he fell in love with you…as if that were physically possible. Have kids? Great, but get that body back into pre-kid shape, asap! Gain weight? Oh no, he might cheat on you because no one wants to bang a fattie! Go through a health crisis? “sickness and health” is just a nice thing to say, you don’t expect us men to actually stick by you as you’re getting all sick and gross, do you? Aging? Wrinkles are boner killers.

fruitloopsie
fruitloopsie
5 years ago

Because reasons
So riding bicycles is Misandry now? I have to go get me a bike.

Katz
What about teh menz!? TEH Menz can look good for their wivez two!comment image

friday jones
friday jones
5 years ago

From the notebooks of Anton Van Leeuwenhoek: “I was forced to discard several samples of good green pond scum, swarming with Animalcules, because they had become infested with misogynists.”

Spindrift
Spindrift
5 years ago

fruitloopsie “So riding bicycles is Misandry now? I have to go get me a bike.”

“Bicycling and feminism” gets it’s very own wikipedia page, it’s not very big though.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bicycling_and_feminism

Flying Mouse
Flying Mouse
5 years ago

Somebody mentioned Victorian women on bicycles? Then this is obligatory!

Re: the hunky guy cooking shirtless – all I can think is “Ouch! Oil splatters and steam scalds and burns, oh my!” I’d thank my husband for the eye candy and ask him to please put on a shirt for safety.

because reasons
because reasons
5 years ago

@Flying Mouse hahaha!

Re:hunky eye candy
At first glance I saw that shadow from the spatula and thought, “Oh, my, he’s cooking up more than just breakfast!”

Robert
Robert
5 years ago

K, I believe ‘fupa’ is an acronym for ‘fatty upper pubic area’. I don’t think I need to draw a picture. In other words, a completely normal bodily accommodation to subcutaneous fat.

And here’s a quote from Germaine Greer: “Is it too much to ask that women be spared the daily struggle for superhuman beauty in order to offer it to the caresses of a subhumanly ugly mate?”. From “The Female Eunuch”, 1970. Ouch.

Bina
Bina
5 years ago

Bicycle Face? You mean that look of relaxed joy I get from being able to move under my own power, with greater mobility than any car driver, flying faster than anyone on foot can run, and feeling the sun on my shoulders and the wind on my skin?

That doesn’t sound so bad to me…

Falconer
5 years ago

extreme shapewear with butt pad inserts (!)

So that’s how you ladies handle the hard chairs!

Emmy Rae
Emmy Rae
5 years ago

“Do you want to go for drinks sometime?”
“I’m going to need to see your x-rays first.”

Emmy Rae
Emmy Rae
5 years ago

@Falconer that’s actually what padded bras are about too. So we can sleep on the floor on our stomachs in comfort if we need to. Turn our hard chairs backward and sit on them happily. Etc.

estraven
estraven
5 years ago

@ Flying Mouse, I’m reminded of a song by the little-known Ann Reed, who wrote “Don’t Do Your Deep-Fat Frying in the Nude.”

Uncivilized Elk
Uncivilized Elk
5 years ago

Great, now I have that feeling of repulsion that happens when people I dislike have a preference that matches mine, since I’m not a fan of make-up when it comes to beauty (but think it’s pretty awesome when you use it for flare, such as David Bowie or Tim Curry in RHPS).

Catalpa
Catalpa
5 years ago

The thing that disturbed me the most about that DMV quiz was that the 15-16 age range was awarded more points than any of the 26+ ranges. Who the fuck thinks it’s appropriate to be dating a 15 year old, aside from those currently aged 14-17? These guys don’t even TRY to hide the fact that they’re gross pedophiles, jeez.

Paradoxical Intention
5 years ago

Fruitloopsie:
comment image

It took me a minute to find the spatula. I saw the shadow and wondered what the fuck he was holding. White spatula on white pants was a bad idea.

Emmy Rae | March 24, 2015 at 4:13 pm
“Do you want to go for drinks sometime?”
“I’m going to need to see your x-rays first.”

Okay.

http://warnet.ws/img/303/pod/88.jpg

Cool, right?

sunnysombrera
5 years ago

@Paradoxical
I think the effect from white spatula on white pants that fruitloopsie mentioned may have been intended. I thought the same thing as her when I saw the picture! It’s either an accident or a clever use of illusion and mind trickery to make the image seem dirtier than it actually is. I like it. 😉

lith
lith
5 years ago

@because reasons:

You need to stay looking as good for your hubby as the day he fell in love with you…as if that were physically possible.

There was a guy in a comment thread talking about the photos of a supermodel that supposedly hadn’t been photoshopped so she had actual signs of age. But then the photographer came forward and said they’d been photoshopped to add signs of age and there was outrage. The commenter was very critical of how awful she looked. I pointed out that whether it’s photoshopped or not that’s how real women look when they age, and the same for men. I said he should get used to it or he’s going to be very disappointed when whoever he chooses gets older and he does too so he can’t ‘trade her in for a younger model’.

Saje Williams
5 years ago

These people make me want to tear my hair out. And I’ve waited most of my life to grow it out. To quote Walter Slovotsky… Beauty’s not just skin deep… it goes one hell of a lot deeper than that.

I can never figure out if these people are just precocious 8 year old boys or, in fact, the opposite of precocious… 8 year old boys in adult bodies.