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Several months back, you may recall, A Voice for Men’s master chief chef Paul Elam launched what he claimed would be a weekly cooking column in order to share some of his highly masculine cooking expertise with the half-dozen Men Going Their Own Way who read his site.
Alas, after two columns blathering about the food truths the evil gynocracy is trying to suppress, he managed to post only one recipe for chili powder before abandoning the project and wandering off to yell at women on the internet. I guess we shouldn’t complain too much, for as Elam has pointed out, yelling at women on the internet is the highest form of human rights activism.
But fear not, masculine food eaters! Men hoping to learn how to Go Their Own Way in the kitchen now have a new champion: AVFM’s chief succubi monitor August Løvenskiolds, who has stepped up with a cooking column for manly men that if anything is even more manly than Elam’s efforts in the genre.
First up, a recipe for chicken. As McLøvenskiolds points out, chicken is an inexpensive source of tasty protein, perfect for MGTOWers on a limited budget.
The MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way) lifestyle, ideally, involves both a real-world withdrawal of men from women and a reduction in the large excess of productivity by men necessary to support the pampering of women through the state’s taxation of men’s natural high productivity.
Men like me who choose this path may experience a decline in disposable income as we no longer strive to be the stripper pole of cash climbed by needy, seductive succubi eager to harvest us for our resources.
Eating chicken is a perfect way to put those nasty feminazis on notice. Indeed, you can pick up an entire family pack of frozen chicken breasts for “the price of buying some crazy feminist harpy two sour apple martinis.”
So how do you transform this frozen meat into tasty food? McLøvenskiolds starts out with this amazing recipe:
remove from freezer and wrapping, plop onto a pan and place into a 450 degree Fahrenheit (about 230 Celsius) oven for about an hour or less.
While you are waiting, get on Twitter and give hell to any feminists you can find.
At the end of an hour you will find a beautiful, tasty (if a little dry) roasted chicken breast.
While this recipe, along with veggies, cheap wine and dipping sauce, will provide you with a (slightly dry) eating experience that “Caesar would envy two thousand years ago,” McL goes above and beyond with a SECOND recipe for chicken breasts.
You may want to sit down, as this recipe has several steps to it beyond removing the chicken breast from the freezer and cooking it.
I force-thawed the still-bagged chicken breast in a small container under a leaky faucet dripping slowly on top of it. It took about 50 minutes to thaw. Two twitter feminists screamed and blocked me while I was waiting. I then preheated the oven to 400 degrees (about 205 Celsius).
Yes, that’s right. You will be “force-thawing” the chicken breasts and preheating the oven AT THE SAME GODDAMN TIME. Take THAT, femiharpynazis!
After this, you cut open the breast and stuff it with garlic, butter and your herb of choice. And then bake it. Also, you can stuff the chicken with other things if you like. As McL points out, you don’t need to get “affirmative consent” before stuffing the chicken.
Get it, get it? It’s like you’re raping the chicken! Because what kind of MGTOW recipe would this be without a rape joke?
A cheap, delicious meal – costing two to four bucks – and a nightmare for feminists.
Living well is sweet revenge.
Sitting at home by yourself thinking evil thoughts about feminazis while eating a chicken breast that you stuck some stuff into is pretty much the dictionary definition of a life well-lived.
In any case, all this talk of food has inspired me to post a recipe of my own. I call it “Pistachio Surprise.”
- Buy a bag of pistachios.
- Eat the pistachios.
Serves one.
Next week, I may share my recipes for leftover pizza and/or toast.
And while I’m at it, here are some delicious cheese recipes courtesy of Roz Chast.
Classic Homer Simpson quote:
“In this house, we DO obey the laws of thermodynamics.”
Maybe he counts a slice of bread or a potato as veggies. They’re made of plants, after all.
PI – Nice link!
I keep running across that site and then forgetting about it.
____________
This is apropos only in that it’s related to the MRA-verse, but it seemed like something many of you would find intetesting:
Why Everyone Should Want Politics in Their Video Games http://zite.to/1ECinMC
She does veer towards, “Do you know who didn’t want politics in art? Nazis,” but it was (in this case) valid in that dressed that those who decry “politics in art” are generally actually trying to enforce their own/”the right” political representation.
This is the most I’ve laughed at an article on here in ages – the amount of pride he takes in being able to put a small amount of stuff in a chicken (using the blunt handle of a spatula!) while shouting at feminists is so pathetic that I feel it must surely be a satire. (That’s satire in the actual sense, not the meaning it seems to have taken on in the manosphere recently where it means “I can be a dick to whoever I like”.)
*it addresses.
I really do apologize for my constant typos.
I’m generally posting from my phone while doing other things and’ll give my responses a quick sweep before hitting enter. A few seem to invariably sneak through, though.
re: their refusing to use the mounds of cooking resources on the web: Could it be because most budget cooking sites seem to be run by (gasp) women?
We’re teaching our 11 yr old to cook at his request. His favorite show is Good Eats and he now cooks more meals than I do. He makes his own grocery lists, has his own cookbooks and is always asking me to show him something new. It’s a work in progress but he’s more competent in the kitchen than the guy who wrote that sad chicken “recipe”. He will leave playing basketball with his friends to come home and make dinner for fun. Cooking simple meals is not that difficult.
Are cooking classes misandry now? MGTOWs could just sign up for classes. They teach them all over. There are blogs and tutorials online. There are entire T.V. channels devoted to cooking and Better Homes and Gardens still puts all the cooking basics you need to know in the very front of their cookbook. Feeding yourself is not esoteric femmagic. It is a basic life skill.
The delusions of mediocrity among manosphereans is staggering. If they were trying to be more absurd they couldn’t do it.
” A cheap, delicious meal – costing two to four bucks – and a nightmare for feminists.
Living well is sweet revenge.”
Revenge usually means the other is aware of what you’re doing so you can savor their reaction.
Do you think he goes on Twitter letting feminists know he’s eating dry chicken?
“@SomeFeministHeHates I am devouring a manly meal that I just cooked and you can’t do anything about it. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!”
Vanir:
Revenge for not cooking them dinner.
I’m sure this has been addressed, I haven’t read all of the comments yet (I have an urge to share cheap easy recipes from my college days) but this is what stood out for me.
Decline? What? Unless you changed jobs, lost your job, or moved to a more expensive area, wouldn’t no longer dating other people make your (entertainment/eating at restaurants/sour apple martini) costs go down? You’d have MORE disposable income then. How does he suddenly have less money?
PS: I’m vegetarian and even I know how to cook chicken and other meats better than that. -_-;
I let the chicken thaw in brine.
The only place that has ever happened is in his dreams.
David,
The woman screaming at the sleepy man while she holds her bewbs is hilarious. I imagine she’s saying: “Wake up! I have breast tenderness! Have you seen the heating pad!?!”
Arctic Ape:
As a vegetarian, I’ve often felt that some guys do think of meat-eating as a manly thing, but that’s usually about red meat. You know the sort of thing: competing with one another about how rare they like their steak. But chicken? Even if you killed that chicken with your bare hands, it’s still just a chicken. Not an animal you would boast of defeating in combat. Unless you’re eating bear steak in shark sauce, fresh from the hunt, you’re not fooling anyone with the chest-beating.
@Lea – I think it’s like the “one drop rule” – if women have ever done a thing (like cooking), then that thing is irrevocably tainted for ever and ever, world without end, amen. Manhood is UNDER SIEGE, y’all. It’s more important to preserve that beleagured citadel of manliness at all costs than to enjoy a tasty, campylobacter-free meal served on actual plates and eaten at a table. (BTW, is it fork on the left, fedora on the right? I can never remember.)
I don’t think this guy goes far enough in his withdrawal from the world of women. Ovens and stoves are for feeemales. Everyone knows real men cook meat on their car engines.
And your son sounds awesome, by the way. Keep up the misandering!
@fromafar2013,McLøvenskiolds’ position is that men only make money to buy the services of women, and so when they realize that the price for these services is far too high (TWO specialty martinis without any guarantee of lifetime of servitude? Absurd!) they will cease to work as hard. He also seems to believe there is a 1-to-1 relationship between how productive a person is and how much money they make.
@Lea:
He used it to force-thaw the chicken.
I saw a video on twitter: How to Season Chicken Like a White Person – the dude just sprinkled a little water on the chicken. Mr Manly Chicken Breast Chef must be using that recipe as a base.
I guess the “decline in income” is due to the fact that he has chosen a job that earns less so that he pays fewer taxes? It’s not actually because he’s just withdrawn himself from the dating world because that just doesn’t make sense.
I love how these people want to make less money because of taxation! Go ahead and screw yourself over because of taxes! I prefer to earn more money because, well, I earn more money. Sure, I pay more in taxes, but I still have more left over!
I can’t help thinking this is satire because of the yelling at feminists bit. What happened to the going away part of going your own way? Isn’t it enough to “punish” us by going away?
Also, how does one get “screamed at” on Twitter? (Yes, I know he just imagines because evil wimminz, but still.)
My husband does most of the cooking in our house. Is it a nightmare for me? Or is it only a nightmare when some MGTOWer cooks up some cheap leather feast?
I actually think it’s hilarious that he thinks that his having a crappy meal with “cheap wine” is a nightmare for us!! The cheapness and awfulness to him symbolizes how he’s sticking it to the woman. To me it symbolizes his ignorance, pettiness, spitefulness and small-mindedness.
I usually eat to celebrate positive things in my or a loved one’s life, not to get revenge on someone in my imagination, but if I did such a thing, you can bet it would be much more lavish and, well, just plain delicious: look at this porterhouse steak with truffled potatoes and asparagus served up with an expensive wine. It’s money I might have spent on you, but I’m spending it on me!
Hello all! I have been lurking here for a bit but never post. You all are so fabulous and seem to say everything I want to and then some. I do have a drive-by youtube link for you all that I feel is appropriate.
For those who wish to be manly while not eating animal products, there is always the Vegan Black Metal Chef:
http://youtu.be/JZns7LYIpsw
@lith – Hopefully the heating pad has a leaky electrical cord, for optimum force-thawing.
@Viscaria – It’s so ridiculous, the MGTOW notion that high-paying jobs mainly exist to impress women. “Oh phew!” you can hear these guys thinking, “I was going to be a doctor, but now I don’t have to anymore. I’m free! I can take that minimum-wage job at the car wash, guilt free!”
Yeah, no. If impressing chicks is your major motivation in life, you’re not going to have the discipline to get through medical school, and you’re going to be a really shitty doctor. Same applies with any high-earning career. The problem with MGTOW is that they lack the passion and drive to achieve success (as measured by the standard yardsticks of toxic masculinity: money, power, and women), and they’re looking for something external to blame it on. Obviously, women must be the problem. If there were no women, there would be no competition, and they wouldn’t have to feel bad about themselves.
And so they look at their monthly budget, and attribute huge chunks of it to women’s evil insatiable needs, rather than the accessories of an average middle-class life. Decent clothes? Gone! Toiletries? Outtahere! Car? Who needs it? Movies and restaurants? Why bother! You don’t need any of that stuff once you’ve thoroughly rejected women!
If they want to retreat from societal conventions and get off the grid, more power to them, but don’t pretend it’s about women.
@ Viscaria
I guess my problem is trying to apply it to real life. (Ya, I know, why bother?) Like, how would that actually work for someone who was working a regular job and making enough for themselves (and supposedly paying for dates, at least their share) already?
Worker to Boss: I just broke up with someone and I’m not dating anyone ever again!
Boss: Okay… I’m sad for you, but why are you telling me? Especially that last part.
Worker: I’d like you to pay me less.
Boss: Whaaaaa? Why?
Worker: Feminazis steal my taxes for bonbons.
Boss: 0_o
Worker:…… do you know any good chicken recipes?
@Buttercup:
Don’t forget toilet paper!
“I would like to make the same hourly wage, but I’m going to cut my hours in half.” “Ummm… No.” “B-but women are evil and I don’t want to pay taxes that could potentially benefit some woman somewhere!” “Good for you?”
I guess dude also foregoes any promotions:
“Hey, [insert MGTOWer’s name], you’ve been doing some great work. We’d like to promote you and give you a raise!” [Please play along with my fantasy and assume this guy actually does some real work that’s done really well]
“No, thanks, that would mean that I would pay more in taxes.”
“Huh?! Don’t you want to make some more money? You could buy yourself a new car or go on a nice trip somewhere.”
“Yeah, but I don’t want women benefitting from my labor by getting any kind of welfare.”
“But you would be making more money.”
“Why would I want to do that? Isn’t the point just to impress women. Which I’m totally not doing. I want to punish them by not earning as much.”
“….”
The deliberately working at a low paying job to avoid taxes that go to welfare is just hilarious. First of all, there aren’t enough high paying professional jobs for all the college educated people out there. It doesn’t hurt society if an MGTOW opts out. Someone else will eagerly take those good jobs.
Secondly, at least in the US, welfare is a drop in the bucket. Here the three biggest things the government spends on are defense, agriculture, and social security. Warfare and farming are pretty manly,according to their world view right? Public funds also go to other things men need as much as women. Like infrastructure and food safety. The notion that all your tax money goes to single mothers is just ridiculous.
Even in countries where social safety nets ate more robust, I don’t imagine they’re the biggest spending item in any country.
Oh my god, look at the comments. Some guy was like “jeez, it seems like this guy might not like women very much, I think he might be nuts”. Then Paul Elam literally called him a “stupid asshole”, before the mod commented directly beneath him, banning the guy for “ad hominems and insulting staff and authors”.
This whole page is pretty much the entire men’s movement in a sad, sad nutshell.