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Men! Fight the "seductive succubi eager to harvest us for our resources" with this tasty chicken recipe

Begone, demoness! For I have eaten a delicious low-cost chicken dinner!
Begone, demoness! For I have eaten a delicious low-cost chicken dinner!

The We Hunted the Mammoth Pledge Drive continues! If you haven’t already, please consider sending some bucks my way. (The PayPal page will say you are donating to Man Boobz.) Thanks!

Several months back, you may recall, A Voice for Men’s master chief chef Paul Elam launched what he claimed would be a weekly cooking column in order to share some of his highly masculine cooking expertise with the half-dozen Men Going Their Own Way who read his site.

Alas, after two columns blathering about the food truths the evil gynocracy is trying to suppress, he managed to post only one recipe for chili powder before abandoning the project and wandering off to yell at women on the internet. I guess we shouldn’t complain too much, for as Elam has pointed out, yelling at women on the internet is the highest form of human rights activism.

But fear not, masculine food eaters! Men hoping to learn how to Go Their Own Way in the kitchen now have a new champion: AVFM’s chief succubi monitor August Løvenskiolds, who has stepped up with a cooking column for manly men that if anything is even more manly than Elam’s efforts in the genre.

First up, a recipe for chicken. As McLøvenskiolds points out, chicken is an inexpensive source of tasty protein, perfect for MGTOWers on a limited budget.

The MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way) lifestyle, ideally, involves both a real-world withdrawal of men from women and a reduction in the large excess of productivity by men necessary to support the pampering of women through the state’s taxation of men’s natural high productivity.

Men like me who choose this path may experience a decline in disposable income as we no longer strive to be the stripper pole of cash climbed by needy, seductive succubi eager to harvest us for our resources.

Eating chicken is a perfect way to put those nasty feminazis on notice. Indeed, you can pick up an entire family pack of frozen chicken breasts for “the price of buying some crazy feminist harpy two sour apple martinis.”

So how do you transform this frozen meat into tasty food? McLøvenskiolds starts out with this amazing recipe:

remove from freezer and wrapping, plop onto a pan and place into a 450 degree Fahrenheit (about 230 Celsius) oven for about an hour or less.

While you are waiting, get on Twitter and give hell to any feminists you can find.

At the end of an hour you will find a beautiful, tasty (if a little dry) roasted chicken breast.

While this recipe, along with veggies, cheap wine and dipping sauce, will provide you with a (slightly dry) eating experience that “Caesar would envy two thousand years ago,” McL goes above and beyond with a SECOND recipe for chicken breasts.

You may want to sit down, as this recipe has several steps to it beyond removing the chicken breast from the freezer and cooking it.

I force-thawed the still-bagged chicken breast in a small container under a leaky faucet dripping slowly on top of it. It took about 50 minutes to thaw. Two twitter feminists screamed and blocked me while I was waiting. I then preheated the oven to 400 degrees (about 205 Celsius).

Yes, that’s right. You will be “force-thawing” the chicken breasts and preheating the oven AT THE SAME GODDAMN TIME. Take THAT, femiharpynazis!

After this, you cut open the breast and stuff it with garlic, butter and your herb of choice. And then bake it. Also, you can stuff the chicken with other things if you like. As McL points out, you don’t need to get “affirmative consent” before stuffing the chicken.

Get it, get it? It’s like you’re raping the chicken! Because what kind of MGTOW recipe would this be without a rape joke?

A cheap, delicious meal – costing two to four bucks – and a nightmare for feminists.

Living well is sweet revenge.

Sitting at home by yourself thinking evil thoughts about feminazis while eating a chicken breast that you stuck some stuff into is pretty much the dictionary definition of a life well-lived.

In any case, all this talk of food has inspired me to post a recipe of my own. I call it “Pistachio Surprise.”

  1. Buy a bag of pistachios.
  2. Eat the pistachios.

Serves one.

Next week, I may share my recipes for leftover pizza and/or toast.

And while I’m at it, here are some delicious cheese recipes courtesy of Roz Chast.

Deliciously cheesy!
Deliciously cheesy!

 

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Aunt Edna
Aunt Edna
5 years ago

@Moggie:
@Lady Mondegreen:

“I don’t think I’ve ever had a nightmare about a dude eating chicken.”

“How about a dude-eating chicken?”

How about a dude being chicken:

Kestrel
Kestrel
5 years ago

@WWTH – I hope you feel better soon. I think you should stay home if you are sick, get as much rest as possible.

because reasons
because reasons
5 years ago

And apparently, it’s women’s fault that men ever get sick:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2796123/man-flu-isn-t-myth-men-sick-don-t-sex-hormones-boost-women-s-immune-systems.html
*I realize the daily mail isn’t a reliable source…but I thought this article was funny, because science.

estraven
estraven
5 years ago

Yep, I agree with everyone who commented on how hilarious this post is! Right now I’m in the process of putting together a personal (for me, my family, and close friends only) cookbook that will primarily be a handy spot for me to find all my go-to recipes and secondarily for those who say “Could I have the recipe?” Dry chicken isn’t in it! Frozen chicken isn’t in it! And I’d like to second the comment about why not pasta. Also, I’d just like to say that there’s a neat cookbook out there called Good and Cheap by Leanne Brown, who used Kickstarter to put together a book for people who live on SNAP (food stamps). The spouse and I contributed and the book is a treat. The author has contributed lots of the cookbooks to food pantries and the like. It’s also available on-line. Just sayin’, nobody has to eat dry chicken, but hey MGTOWers, if that’s what floats your boat, who cares.

Spindrift
Spindrift
5 years ago

@because reasons: But a truly alpha manly manly man might trek across arctic wastes in the nude, hack a mammoth or a primordial giant man-eating chicken free from the ice, bring it back to life with his awesomeness, then kill it with his arms tied behind his back, freeze it again with his amazing coolness, then eat it raw and frozen, then build a sled out of the bones he didn’t eat and enslave feral beasts to pull it for him as he goes his own way…to a feminist blog to remind the wimminz of how sorry they are that he’s left.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants

Let’s all show redpillers how wrong they are by sitting in a wading pool full of dirty ice water and pine sap, gnawing moldy bread scrounged from the floor of a Port-A-Potty at a music festival.

because reasons
because reasons
5 years ago

@Spindrift
Well played.

Vanir (@Vanir85)
5 years ago

and also, yes, misogynists should by all means gnaw on cheap, dry chicken and leave the juicy steaks for us feminazis 😀

and they can keep their cheap wine, too. a proper red wine is a great companion to most red meat – but everyone knows *nothing* goes better with the meaty spoils of economic independence than a large cup of male tears (best served at room temperature).

katz
5 years ago

The first chicken recipe I ever learned, still favorite:

Arrange 3 lb. of any chicken pieces (thawed) in a baking dish.

Combine and pour over chicken:
1/3 c. melted butter or margarine
1/3 c. honey
2 T. mustard
1 t. salt (optional)
1 t. curry powder

Bake 1 1/4 hours, basting every 15 minutes for moist, honey-browned chicken.

Feel free to throw in small potatoes, squash chunks, etc, or to put slices of lemon on the chicken.

katz
5 years ago

…At 350 F. I’m leaving out important information.

contrapangloss
5 years ago

Seconding pasta as a way cheaper alternative. Also rice. Also, also, oatmeal.

Pluses of pasta: Prep time is pretty negligible. Boil like 2-10 minutes, depending on the type, and presto! Meal for however many.

Pluses of rice: You can buy a ton for cheap. Cheaper than pasta. Also, if you go with wild rice, it’s a bit healthier. Prep is really easy, but takes almost as long as his charcoal briquette chicken.

Oatmeal: Also cheap. Can be microwaved. Filling. Tastes good with fruit and berries.

Cheaper protein than chicken: Beans, bought in bulk. Prep is also simple. Or bulk nuts. Bulk nuts have pretty much no prep time, and are pretty good.

Robert
Robert
5 years ago

By a strange coincidence, I too am making chicken tonight. Whole roasted chicken, brined, with flavored butter under the skin.

The image of this chowderhead munching on desiccated chicken while imagining woman crying out in distress”Oh, no, he’s feeding himself! He’s gone his own way!” is simultaneously amusing and pathetic.

Moggie
Moggie
5 years ago

because reasons:

I realize the daily mail isn’t a reliable source

Which reminds me:

My Year Ripping Off the Web With the Daily Mail Online

fruitloopsie
fruitloopsie
5 years ago

Shouldn’t “Real Manly Men” go out and hunt their food and/or do the following
http://eatdrinkbetter.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/manlycook.jpg
http://s2.hubimg.com/u/9108685_f520.jpg

I have a very chicken recipe
Just put barbecue sauce and PepperJack cheese on it.

friday jones
friday jones
5 years ago

And the surprise in the Pistachio Surprise? It was actually a bag of peanuts!

friday jones
friday jones
5 years ago

@Shalimar, maybe his chicken wouldn’t be so dry if he tried some foreplay before just stuffing it all willy-nilly.

because reasons
because reasons
5 years ago

sorry for the URL salad. ugh.

@Friday Jones

maybe his chicken wouldn’t be so dry if he tried some foreplay before just stuffing it all willy-nilly.

Foreplay is for beta manginas. As Doosh says, if that chicken cared about him, it would take that “forced-thaw” and dry stuffing…and like it!

friday jones
friday jones
5 years ago

@FlyingMouse, But for whom would the MGTOW hunt the bull elephant? Who would be privileged to listen to them brag on constantly about taking down a bull heffalump using a chicken-breast-briquet missile hurled by their high-productivity arm? Other men? No, even shared parental custody of a plastic skull isn’t enough to keep two manly men together for long…

friday jones
friday jones
5 years ago

Why is it that every time another datum about “manginas” comes across my screen it always makes them look like better human beings than the guys calling them that?

“You have good personal hygiene. MANGINA!”

Emmy Rae
Emmy Rae
5 years ago

I can confirm that women make men sick, I sneeze on men constantly. It’s the lady version of negging.

maistrechat
5 years ago

1. If you must eat chicken, thighs are way less expensive than breasts

2. Those recipes, in addition to overcooking to the extreme, don’t seem to represent a nutrtionally balanced meal in the slightest. Is scurvy a MGTOW value?

3. If you are trying to cook super cheap, $2-4 per meal is a failure – lots of food stamp-type programs barely allocate that much per meal

4. Things that are cheaper than that: oatmeal, pasta, rice, beans, lentils, tofu … learn a traditional “ethnic” cuisine – of pretty much any ethnicity – and marvel as your meat goes 4 times as far as it did before.

because reasons
because reasons
5 years ago

right?! I’d like to only interact with manginas from here on out, if that were possible!

friday jones
friday jones
5 years ago

Maybe the chicken wouldn’t be so dry if he tried two things: pre-thawing it, and wrapping it in foil before baking. He could also put other things in the foil with it to add flavor, such as a bit of Worchestershire sauce and a few drops of sesame oil.

But wouldn’t a Really True Manly Man(tm) fire up the barbecue?

yutolia
yutolia
5 years ago

Wow, so he thinks that us not having to cook for these shits is a nightmare? I think I like this nightmare.

Also, does he realize that he titled all of his posts “Eating Men Going Their Own Way”? Cause, you, I don’t think that gets the message across that he intended…

Spindrift
Spindrift
5 years ago

I’d suggest the MGTOW could also save a lot of money by choking the chicken themselves instead of paying for that service, but I suspect many of them already do.

Emmy Rae
Emmy Rae
5 years ago

@spindrift LOL!

because reasons
because reasons
5 years ago

@Emmy Rae

It’s the lady version of negging.

Double misandry points for you!

because reasons
because reasons
5 years ago

@Spindrift
Having to choke chickens themselves?! What’s next? Flogging dolphins and spanking monkeys? Oh, the horror!!!11!

Falconer
5 years ago

@PI:

And they had a 6-foot Man Eating Chicken.

Madre de Dios! Es “El Pollo Diablo!”

https://youtu.be/XbBJ-iBkDNc

katz
5 years ago

We’ve all forgotten the obvious chicken recipe.

LBT
LBT
5 years ago

Wow. Just… wow.

I see estraven already said Good and Cheap, and I second it! Here’s the PDF! It works with my meal plan AND my budget! *thumbs up* Hubby has already used a couple of its recipes and they’re good!

I also put up my husband’s delicious macaroni and cheese recipe. He cheats and uses Annie’s box because it’s his favorite, but this will work with any boxed mac and cheese (though we’ve only done this with powdered cheese packets in them). He also uses vegetables, edamame, and plain whole-fat yogurt. (Ham or bacon also work.)

Cook the pasta as you would normally, and while that’s happening, chop up some veggies! We usually use one leafy green (kale, collard greens, spinach) and something very flavorful (tomatoes, fresh or sun-dried, bell pepper).

You can stir-fry the veg if you want, or if you’re a one-pot kind of man like me and hubby, toss the veg in at the very end of the boiling time. You want them JUST cooked without the nutrients and flavor getting washed out in the water.

While your pasta and veggies are draining in your colander, take the little cheese packet. Now, the box will say you should mix it with milk or butter. Ignore that. It lies. Instead, mix it with however much yogurt you want, salt, pepper, and fresh herbs in your now-empty pot. (Hubby has used bail, rosemary and sage, oregano, and thyme, all successfully.) Whole-fat yogurt is better because it’s creamier and won’t get grainy when the leftover heat from the pot seeps into it.

Your homemade sauce will be done right as your pasta and veg is finished draining. Dump it back into the pot, stir it all together, and OM NOM NOM!

RE: katz

My husband might try your recipe! He’s trying to gently introduce me to more meat. (When my eating disorder was really bad, protein was the first to go, and even now, I mostly get it from dairy and edamame.)

LBT
LBT
5 years ago

RE: Falconer

From Sneak: OMG Curse of Monkey Island! I LOVE Curse of Monkey Island! It’s because of that game I will always know the Spanish word for chicken! THE DEVIL CHICKEEEEEENNNN!

Falconer
5 years ago

@Sneak: Look! Over there! It’s a three-eyed monkey!!

friday jones
friday jones
5 years ago

@BecauseReasons,

OMG, they’re beating the Bishop!

katz
5 years ago

LBT: I love Mac’s recipes!

Falconer
5 years ago

*three [i][b]headed[/b][/i] monkey.

LBT
LBT
5 years ago

RE: Falconer

Murray! The demonic talking skull!

RE: katz

Mac is trying to get more into cooking; he feels that he needs a hobby that doesn’t involve me, and so he’s getting more interested. We’re kinda on minimalist kitchen equipment right now due to the moving (which is also why we’ve been so sporadic lately) but he has plans. Great plans.

I am sure my tummy will love them.

LBT
LBT
5 years ago

Also, as is traditional, here’s the recipe for me and Mac’s vegan chocolate wedding cake! Neither of us are vegan, but it’s SO DELICIOUS we don’t care!

katz
5 years ago

Vegan baked goods are just really good. Super crumbly sometimes, but totally tasty.

LBT
LBT
5 years ago

This cake is not crumbly, though! It is moist and delicious.

guest
guest
5 years ago

Thanks for the Good and Cheap link–some of these recipes look excellent. Here are some more great recipes for people living on a restricted budget:

https://www.livebelowtheline.com/uk/resources

I decided to sign up, to support the charity I volunteer with, after I had a look at the meal plans….

friday jones
friday jones
5 years ago

The cake is a LIE!!!

LBT
LBT
5 years ago

RE: guest

I love the recipes! Part of why I tend not to like traditional cookbooks is that here at least, they’re really focused on MEAT, which is expensive. There’s a bunch of expensive ingredients I will never use, and often it doesn’t fit my meal plan and get all my food groups in, necessitating making multiple dishes, and it’s intended for more than one body.

It just doesn’t work for me, I mean.

Paradoxical Intention
5 years ago

Falconer | March 23, 2015 at 2:09 pm
Madre de Dios! Es “El Pollo Diablo!”

The best part about that video was the Manny Calavera cameo of the skeleton lying on the table. :D

Emmy Rae
Emmy Rae
5 years ago

LBT, I can’t WAIT to try that version of mac n cheese!

because reasons
because reasons
5 years ago

@friday jones
That one over there is charming the snake! LOL

zoon echon logon
zoon echon logon
5 years ago


MEN

Falconer
5 years ago

@PI: Yes, yes it was. Have you played the remastered game? I’m waiting on my new computer, which should be able to run it, and should be arriving tomorrow.

friday jones
friday jones
5 years ago

@BecauseReason HEH! I thought he was trying to put out a crotch fire with his hand!