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Several months back, you may recall, A Voice for Men’s master chief chef Paul Elam launched what he claimed would be a weekly cooking column in order to share some of his highly masculine cooking expertise with the half-dozen Men Going Their Own Way who read his site.
Alas, after two columns blathering about the food truths the evil gynocracy is trying to suppress, he managed to post only one recipe for chili powder before abandoning the project and wandering off to yell at women on the internet. I guess we shouldn’t complain too much, for as Elam has pointed out, yelling at women on the internet is the highest form of human rights activism.
But fear not, masculine food eaters! Men hoping to learn how to Go Their Own Way in the kitchen now have a new champion: AVFM’s chief succubi monitor August Løvenskiolds, who has stepped up with a cooking column for manly men that if anything is even more manly than Elam’s efforts in the genre.
First up, a recipe for chicken. As McLøvenskiolds points out, chicken is an inexpensive source of tasty protein, perfect for MGTOWers on a limited budget.
The MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way) lifestyle, ideally, involves both a real-world withdrawal of men from women and a reduction in the large excess of productivity by men necessary to support the pampering of women through the state’s taxation of men’s natural high productivity.
Men like me who choose this path may experience a decline in disposable income as we no longer strive to be the stripper pole of cash climbed by needy, seductive succubi eager to harvest us for our resources.
Eating chicken is a perfect way to put those nasty feminazis on notice. Indeed, you can pick up an entire family pack of frozen chicken breasts for “the price of buying some crazy feminist harpy two sour apple martinis.”
So how do you transform this frozen meat into tasty food? McLøvenskiolds starts out with this amazing recipe:
remove from freezer and wrapping, plop onto a pan and place into a 450 degree Fahrenheit (about 230 Celsius) oven for about an hour or less.
While you are waiting, get on Twitter and give hell to any feminists you can find.
At the end of an hour you will find a beautiful, tasty (if a little dry) roasted chicken breast.
While this recipe, along with veggies, cheap wine and dipping sauce, will provide you with a (slightly dry) eating experience that “Caesar would envy two thousand years ago,” McL goes above and beyond with a SECOND recipe for chicken breasts.
You may want to sit down, as this recipe has several steps to it beyond removing the chicken breast from the freezer and cooking it.
I force-thawed the still-bagged chicken breast in a small container under a leaky faucet dripping slowly on top of it. It took about 50 minutes to thaw. Two twitter feminists screamed and blocked me while I was waiting. I then preheated the oven to 400 degrees (about 205 Celsius).
Yes, that’s right. You will be “force-thawing” the chicken breasts and preheating the oven AT THE SAME GODDAMN TIME. Take THAT, femiharpynazis!
After this, you cut open the breast and stuff it with garlic, butter and your herb of choice. And then bake it. Also, you can stuff the chicken with other things if you like. As McL points out, you don’t need to get “affirmative consent” before stuffing the chicken.
Get it, get it? It’s like you’re raping the chicken! Because what kind of MGTOW recipe would this be without a rape joke?
A cheap, delicious meal – costing two to four bucks – and a nightmare for feminists.
Living well is sweet revenge.
Sitting at home by yourself thinking evil thoughts about feminazis while eating a chicken breast that you stuck some stuff into is pretty much the dictionary definition of a life well-lived.
In any case, all this talk of food has inspired me to post a recipe of my own. I call it “Pistachio Surprise.”
- Buy a bag of pistachios.
- Eat the pistachios.
Serves one.
Next week, I may share my recipes for leftover pizza and/or toast.
And while I’m at it, here are some delicious cheese recipes courtesy of Roz Chast.
In the AVfM Monopoly set, the “Get out of jail free” card must be marked “SATIRE!” ‘Cause lordy, do they throw that word down the moment they smell trouble or ridicule.
Yeah, because making an ass out of yourself and revealing you don’t know shit about cooking is totally satire, and makes US look stupid when we have a laugh at it.
What is with these MRAs and their perpetual pseudo-intellectual boners for “satire”? It’s like when you first find out about a thing, and you’re so excited about said thing that you constantly talk about it or indulge in it.
Except they’re doing it based around a very wrong assumption about what satire is.
What are they supposed to be satirising?
And all the gleeful mockery we’ve been indulging in isn’t satire?
Ahhhh I love this thread.
David could go on holidays (with all the money we’re giving him from our government paychecks) and this thread would go on and on and still be funny 🙂
Food blogs? People with still-functioning taste buds?
Themselves?
I hear Roosh is coming out with a cookbook, tentatively titled ‘Bang Chicken’
https://flic.kr/p/qPphgb
@LBT @FlyingMouse I don’t do well without meat either 🙂 I’m celiac, and legumes do not like me (I can have a small amount), nuts are ok but also have to watch how much of them I eat. I was a very sick vegetarian, years ago! Good times.
@Paradoxical Intention: My guess? They heard a lefty comedian use the word “satire” and get let off the hook for saying something insensitive, so they started using “satire” whenever they wanted to get let off the hook for saying something. Cargo cult satire, if you will.
@Bina
I recomend this sous vide construction guide:
http://www.eggchowfun.com/
I built one based on it and It has been churning along for over 3 years! Sous Vide is really awesome, not only do you get idiot proof flawless meals, but you can prep and freeze a months worth of meals and simply drop a bag into the sous vide (a.k.a. Meat Jacuzzi) and go off and do things for an hour or so and get a perfect meal. Also a basic rice cooker is better than a hot pot for various reasons but either will do if you have one on hand .
@Paradoxical Intention
Have you looked at the ResidualVM and ScummVM programs on the Raspberry Pi 2? With a bit of well documented tweaking you can get the OG versions running on the RaspPi2 which is $35 (plus a cell charger and a microsd card).
Re: satire
I read some of the comments on that article, and it was fairly clear that the intended audience didn’t even think it was satire. Not that I ever buy it when they claim satire, but shouldn’t good satire mean that someone, somewhere is in on it?
As long as we’re all recommending cheap cookery: Broke Eats!
I love how little encouragement this community needs to post a bunch of recipes and cooking resources.
Was experimenting the other night. Boneless, skinless chicken thighs went on sale. Half of them were cut into small strips, stir-fried, and served with asian vegetable mix and steamed rice with a soy-ginger store sauce, the other half were shaken in a bag with flour, seasoning salt and pepper, and sauteed in butter. The excess fat was drizzled out, some flour was added to the pan and whisked to make a roux, then chicken stock and beer were added to make the gravy. Served that with egg noodles and purple brussels sprouts (trim bottoms, split in half, dump into a heavy lidded pot with a pinch of salt and a half-cup of water, turn the stove to max, then cook 5 minutes from cold).
@monopole: It took me a minute to realize what you were talking about, but I think my brain just short-circuited. Sorry, I’m not very handy with hardware. ; u ;
Plus, Grim Fandango Remastered is only like twenty bucks. So…cheaper and less hardware fiddle-faddle.
@baroncognito: Bless your face for posting that video. That was amazing.
Seconding the thanks for Broke Eats.
Easy and cheap food is something I need to get more savvy about.
As usual, it’s an own goal for Team MRA. These guys can’t win for losing.
It’s hard to play a goal sport against a team that won’t put the damn goals down while they scurry about the field but still somehow manages to kick the ball into their own goal.
for actual satire I recommend the Vegan Black Metal Chef. Haven’t tried any of his recipes but the food he makes sure does look good:
Tracy:
Jerk chicken. That secret ingredient is liquid fucking gold.
Moggie:
That book already exists.
http://www.amazon.com/Natural-Harvest-collection-semen-based-recipes/dp/1481227041
@Buttercup
I will take meowing cats over a twitter feud any day!
@ghilie
Oh.My.God. Gag.
So last night I played Grim Fandango and ate delicious, well prepared pasta sauce courtesy of boyfriend (misandry!) and drank some fantastic peppercorn beer. Living well is sweet revenge!!1!
@LBT:
ISTR they included point-and-click navigation as an option, but if you really want to you can use the original controls.
@leftwingfox:
The word “experimenting” combined with the passive voice makes me want to ask if you’ve had this peer reviewed yet.