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The lovely piece of human garbage that is Roosh Valizadeh recently posted a helpful little list of “6 Warning Signs A Girl Isn’t Worth A Relationship.”
It’s a bit of an ironic list, in that Roosh, a self-described expat “love tourist” who makes his living giving men terrible dating advice, inadvertently provides any “girls” reading his list 6 Clear Warning Signs That Roosh is an Angry Sexual Predator Who Should Be Avoided at All Costs.
Roosh starts by warning his readers about the terrible plague of the music changers.
The first thing I do when get a girl over to my shack is put on some music. Depending on the mood I’m trying to set, I’ll go with something like The Weeknd, Vanessa da Mata, or Michael Jackson. As I’m making drinks, if she goes to the laptop, cuts off my music, then pulls up her own music on YouTube, she’s only getting fucked that night and never again. Even though she wants to play “this one song,” I cut her crap off and put mine back on. I say, “If you wanted to listen to your music you should’ve invited me to your place.”
Anyone that touchy about someone changing his music is not exactly great boyfriend material.
Several more items reveal Roosh to be someone who bristles with rage whenever a woman, in his mind, disrespects him. If a woman texts someone while on a date and doesn’t apologize for it, for example, Roosh feels that “you might as well hand her your balls.”
And then his list gets very dark indeed. TRIGGER WARNING for rape apologia dark.
.
.
.
The Fifth Horseman of the Warning Sign Apocalypse is this: “Asking you to postpone your orgasm so she can gain more pleasure.”
As Roosh sees it,
If you’re about to bust your nut and a girl does tells you “No” or “Wait,” she’s an inconsiderate slut who is now causing you direct harm.
Wat.
A man’s nut is sacred, and for her to impede that should be criminal. I’m serious.
Backing away now.
One time a girl postponed my nut and then I lost it completely. I couldn’t get it back and I was left with minor groin pain. I never contacted her again.
What a terrible assault on Roosh’s manhood. He once experienced MINOR GROIN PAIN. That evil harlot should be locked up for life for the crime of a dude not having an orgasm once.
If all this seems a bit rapey, well, it gets worse with item #6: “Not urging you to continue pumping even if it’s starting to cause her discomfort,” in which Roosh explains that girlfriend-quality “girls” shouldn’t be permitted to say “stop” after agreeing to let a dude’s penis in.
I’ll tell you what love is: when a girl begs you to keep going even though you know she already came, even though she’s drying up, and even though you know it’s causing her pain.
I suppose it could be “love.” It could also be a rather different emotion known as “fear.” Fear that the angry, woman-hating asshole fucking you, who seems to erupt in rage whenever a woman disagrees with him, will flip out if you ask him to stop. And will keep going regardless.
If she tells you to stop the millisecond after she gets her nut, without you getting yours, I want you to tell her that the point of having sex with women is so a man doesn’t have to use his hand, and that she has performed below the hand.
What the fuck is wrong with you?
That’s why we do all this shit to bang women—to get our nut. If she can’t do that for us, then she’s useless as a living being.
If anyone tries to tell you that the “red pill” is really just about self-improvement for men, ask them to explain this.
If someone shows you an article from A Voice for Men arguing that “rape culture isn’t real,” show them this, and ask why they ran a long-two part interview with Roosh in which the interviewer wrote that Roosh was “a deep thinker,” and “a layered, tempered and earnest guy, who truly wants to help other men in their most basic and primal of life goals,” adding “I got nothing but respect for the guy.”
Roosh, you may recall, has also proposed legalizing rape on private property, which he bizarrely claims will bring an end to rape. I think it’s fairly clear that Roosh has no interest in ending rape. What he wants is for people to stop calling it rape. As he sees it, women saying “no” or “stop” or “get off me” are all an affront to the “sacred nut.” And we can’t have that.
EDIT: Minor edits to clarify a point.
You know, I went out for puppy therapy yesterday, and it really made me feel better. I just stopped by a local pet store and they had adoptable dogs, so I got my face licked and saw an episode of puppy wrestlemania (I have kitty wrestlemania going permanently in my apartment).
I also got to talk pets with a woman shopping with her shih tzu in the cart, that I also got to pet.
I’m going to think about the adorable puppies.
Out of curiosity, I went to read the preview of The New Rules available on Amazon. I only made it through a few paragraphs before I read that following the rules will get you a man who is “obsessed” with you.
http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mbhnuzRZ961rrpsd7.gif
Is that something I’m supposed to want? Having someone be obsessed with me sounds miserable. That sounds like a really unhealthy relationship.
Jarnsaxa
Cover up but dress sexy but not too sexy or you are distracting men/boys also asking for it but don’t cover up too much or you are a prude.
Say yes you are a s*ut, say no you are a b*tch
Wear makeup you are a wh*re, don’t wear make up you are ugly
Give nice guys a chance so what if he is an abuser he wouldn’t be that way if you would just be with them. Why are you with an abuser? Proof that women like assholes
Cover up if you want men and boys to respect you. Says the guy without a shirt
Etc, etc and etc “Boy! Women sure are complicated!” Says the Misognists who made all this contradicting and hyprocritical garbage in the first place.
Tells girls and women to remain virgin til marriage, tell guys to have much sex as much as possible but homosexuality is a sin. Is the world telling guys to go f*** themselves?
@Aunt Edna
There’s a post about it here from the Naughty Nomad forum. The poster got banned for his pains:
naughtynomadforum.com/forum/showthread.php?tid=2703
Yep. They’re not standards so much as gotchas.
I can think of at least three reasons.
1) The text of the book consists, in its entirety, of “Because bitches be awesome!” or something to that effect.
2) It is written, entirely straight, about the dangers of men marrying dogs, so it isn’t actually calling women bitches.
3) Someone paid you to.
The first thing I thought of re: a man’s “nut” was “nuts”, i.e. testicles. I saw that quote and couldn’t help but wonder if there was a reason Roosh was using the singular.
And oh, gosh, I’m so sick of the “men are rational, women are emotional” thing. First off, the whole idea of reason vs. emotion is more often than not just used by sociopaths to dress up their lack of empathy as “logic”; science in fact has shown that thought and feeling are not as mutually exclusive as once believed. And second, people always conveniently overlook certain emotions that are stereotypically masculine when putting down women for their supposed feels and hysteria. Men commit the vast majority of murders, assaults, road rage, etc. Aren’t anger, impulsivity, violence etc. “emotions”???
Yep suffrajitsu . I’d add Ausberger sysndrome to the sociopaths too. Though tests show that sociopaths show low levels of rationality and have poor impulse control.
For Wiki: Under ICD-10: dissocial personality disorder shows
Callous unconcern for the feelings of others;
Gross and persistent attitude of irresponsibility and disregard for social norms, rules, and obligations;
Incapacity to maintain enduring relationships, though having no difficulty in establishing them;
Very low tolerance to frustration and a low threshold for discharge of aggression, including violence;
Incapacity to experience guilt or to profit from experience, particularly punishment;
Marked readiness to blame others or to offer plausible rationalizations for the behavior that has brought the person into conflict with society.
Now I have the Fratellis’ “Got Mah Nuts From A Hippie” stuck in my head. (Note plural.)
Roosh’s nut isn’t about actually getting his nut, it’s about abusing and degrading women. Otherwise, the hand would be a perfectly acceptable alternative. He’s mad, not because he failed to orgasm, but because he failed to feel dominant. Thus the need to insult her immediately after sex.
Anyway, I call bullshit on this scenario being all that common – more often, if someone’s finishing first, it’s the guy. Roosh doesn’t strike me as the type who’s experienced or considerate enough to delay climax.
@suffrajitsu – Hear, hear. I get really tired of logic being privileged above emotion – as if logic is always superior in every situation for understanding what’s going on. You hear some of these logical manosphere guys trying to decribe human interaction logically, and missing the mark by a country mile (while sounding like an extraterrestrial anthropologist, sent here by a robot civilization to probe our strange ways).
Most of their “logic” is self-serving, contradictory, and has holes you could drive a battleship through. It’s kind of hilarious how they expect automatic deference by whipping out the MANLOGIC!!!! card.
::Guy does or says something horrible::
Society: “boys will be boys” “Manlogic!”
Women/girls: “I’m scared of guys now” “I don’t want to date anymore”
Society: “Oh my gosh stop being sexist! Not all men!”
… Somebody slap down Lisa’s post before I do.
Lisa
NOPE!!!!! DONT COMPARE THOSE TWO! BEING AN A-HOLE IS NOT THE SAME AS A MENTAL ILLNESS!!!
Lisa, first, sociopathy is not a thing. Second, you don’t know shit about psychology, stop it quoting a fucking book you don’t understand. Third, just shut the fuck up. Fourth, stop trying to armchair diagnose every asshole on the planet. That is not what psychology is for. Fifth, seriously, SHUT THE FUCK UP.
Aspergers is neither a card you can play to get out of criticism of your aweful words nor a magical source of misogyny, and I wish people would stop treating it as such. Nor is it synonymous with sociopathy or psychopathy. There’s a big difference between having a hard time expressing emotions or empathy in a conventional way and not feeling them at all.
And ofc, explaining away aweful people as simply having mental issues excuses their actions and stigmatises perfectly decent people who actually struggle with said issues.
And it gives those assholes an out to explain away their shitty behavior on something other than the fact that they made the conscious choice to be a week-old bag of sweaty jockstraps.
I really hope David gets those new rules up soon.
I have a mental illness myself, and as much as I dislike it when people pin bad behavior on mental illness, seeing commenters ripped apart for it is also very uncomfortable, like seeing a coworker dressed down by an angry boss.
Please just post the rule against it, David. Please.
I don’t want to see this crap keep happening over and over again like this. Maybe I’m too sensitive on the whole topic of mental illness to read the comments here anymore and should just step back, actually. Yeah, this is on me, not on anybody else. Sorry, I’ll just butt out.
Agreed that comparing assholery to Asperger’s was way uncool and really sorry if my using “sociopath” was inappropriate. I hadn’t realized it might be offensive and I’m sorry if I opened up a can of worms.
@Buttercup: Cracked had a recent article debunking the “emotions get in the way of reason” myth–they cited studies on people with damage in the orbitofrontal cortex, which connects to the amygdala, but no other part of the brain. The implication is that emotions are not only connected to rational decision-making, they’re actually necessary for it:
Also, if I weren’t listening to Courtney Barnett’s new album I’d suddenly be in the mood to put on Costello Music.
“BEING AN A-HOLE IS NOT THE SAME AS A MENTAL ILLNESS!!!”. Yep, but some people are assholes because they have at least a degree of mental illness (or personality disorder), sociopathy being one of them.
If we are going to deal with this now and change it for the future then understanding at least some of the causes is the first step.
Yes it is shallow to label all of this behaviour as ‘mental illness’, but so is just labelling it all as ‘assholes’….Some I have read seem to me to be borderline, at least.
You read these PUA mantras and it’s like an instruction manual on sociopathic behaviour. They either are really like that or they aspire to be like that for some daft reason.
At the extreme end of the spectrum I see people that are just a tiny step away from violence, rape or murder and as such I see them as much more dangerous than some think.
At its very, very worst level we have a young girl being stabbed to death in a park in broad daylight here in Melbourne. How far off of that are some of these extremists or the people they influence?
The majority of western men for all their faults don’t behave like that. Yes everyone has their niggles, petty prejudices, episodes of inappropriate (even downright rude) behaviour, along with periods of anger and disappointment towards the other gender and sexual types, but nothing compared to the consistently extreme levels of these misogynists, PUAs and so on (who all claim a mantle of ‘logic’ while twisting logic into a mangled pretzel).
For example, what causes young, reasonably well brought up, fairly prosperous and not that dumb males to think and behave like this? What the heck has gone wrong here?
http://thinkprogress.org/justice/2015/03/21/3637251/fraternity-suspended-notebook-detailing-rape-lynching/
Where does ‘asshole’ behaviour cross over into sociopathic, even psychopathic behaviour?
Maybe it is just I see some of these people being a lot sicker and more dangerous than some others here think. Yes it easy to laugh at them about their stupid ideas, but some of them really are monsters and/or they can influence other monsters.
Before you ask, yes I have had personal experience of the mental illness of others up close and personal, as well as my own long battles with depression, it’s not an alien world to me.
I didn’t think this thread would still be going today!
Flying Mouse, if you make that coffee mug I’d totally buy one.
I still can’t even with this new roosh stuff. Everyone else has said it so much better already anyhow.
“For example, what causes young, reasonably well brought up, fairly prosperous and not that dumb males to think and behave like this? What the heck has gone wrong here?”
How about a society that roots for the strong to put down the weak, declares bullies as winners and values cold, abusive behaviour as alpha?
Sick society makes sick individuals. Mental illness is a whole other thing and I wish people would stop throwing it around as a handy bogeyman. People suffering of mental illnesses are far more likely to be victims than perpetrators of violence.
I know it’s difficult to accept that the scale of the problem with assholery is massive and goes to the core of the culture we’ve built. But that is where the headwaters of pain lie. Stop othering the problem, and stop othering people with mental health issues.
Lisa, seriously, you should back down on this one. People here aren’t just going to go “Hmm, you’re right, let’s go ahead and assume that whenever men do horrible things, it’s because they’re mentally ill.”
Lisa, unless you have solid, professionally-certified evidence that each person you’re talking about has a mental illness, you’re indulging in guesswork.
And guesswork of a kind that many people here find extremely offensive.
And continuing to indulge in this guesswork after it’s been made clear that many people here find it extremely offensive makes you an insensitive asshole.
Now I could go further and offer an amateur diagnosis that attempts to get to the roots of just why you’re being an insensitive asshole, but I’m not going to because:
(a) without far more copious evidence, I’d most likely be wrong;
(b) even with such evidence, I lack the professional expertise to be able to draw valid conclusions from it;
(c) regardless of what I posted, you’d probably find the result grossly insensitive and intrusive given that it’s been aired in a public forum;
(d) I’d be an utter hypocrite.
Although (d) is a very minor reason indeed compared with my first three points.
So stop it.
@lisa
“Maybe it is just I see some of these people being a lot sicker and more dangerous than some others here think.”
We can fully accept that they’re very dangerous and unsettling without declaring them mentally ill.
A sexist culture will bring about sexist people, some of whom will absorb the very most toxic elements within it, they don’t have to be insane to accept those ideas. Just like growing up with a hatefully twisted version of religion or within a racist group can lead to sane people thinking it’s alright to kill for whatever reason. Or just like how a competative greedy society encourages the exploitation of the weak for personal gain. It’s not insane to manipulate food stock prices causing them to go up and make living more expensive, not within a system that rewards you for doing so. Most of them can feel empathy for others, but they’ve dehumanised their chosen enemies so much (in their own minds) that they don’t empathise with them specifically, they’re just dirty infidels, they’re just inferior non-whites, they’re just numbers, they’re just sluts, etc.
The most harmful people are often perfectly sane people who have simply rationalised their hatred to themselves as logical or neccessary. And when they are mentally ill that’s more likely to be coincidence than to be directly contributing to their hateful ideology.
tl dr :Anyone can be an A-hole if their environment lets them or actively encourages them.
I haven’t read the Cracked article, but it might be Antonio Damasio’s research you’re referring to? People with damages to the “emotion-parts” of the brain are way worse when it comes to playing a card game where you can draw cards and win money. There’s a certain pattern there to find to get a steady win. People with a normal range of emotions find that pattern rather quickly via gut feeling. People with emotional damages need to find this pattern via conscious thinking, which takes more time – but what’s really strange is that they irrationally deviate from the winning pattern even after they have figured it out.
Yeah, it’s pretty well established in psychology that we do not, as some influential philosophers have historically argued for, have one reason faculty and one separate emotion faculty. Nor is it the case, as no philosopher I know of have argued for (Kant comes close occasionally, but even he does not go that far), but some perhaps not-so-reasonable-people like to believe, that emotions are merely a hindrance for reason.
Obviously emotions can interfere with reason. I believe we can all come up with examples from our own life where this happened. I guess that’s where the “emotions are always a hindrance for reason” myth comes from. But that’s really far from the case.