The far right racist douchebag-o-sphere has been warning us for some time that Cultural Marxism works insidiously to destroy Western Culture and make women all frumpy and shit. Well, you’ll never guess just how sneaky these Cultural Marxist plotters really are: apparently they have the power to cause women to repeatedly drop their iPhones.
In a new post on Roosh V’s Return of Kings site, some dude called Theodore Gumbril dissects what he sees as the increasing “Degeneracy Of London’s Women.” The four signs of this ongoing Lady-pocalypse?
1) Cracked iPhone screens
Gumbril reports with horror that “London is full of iPhones with broken screens, the majority of them owned by women.” Why? Brace yourself: it’s because these women use their iPhones a lot, and therefore also drop them a lot. No, really — one of them actually ran into Gumbril on the sidewalk, quite literally, as he was walking along minding his own business and pondering just how degenerate London women are becoming.
Even in busy areas of London, British women are walking around intently staring into their iPhones, earphones in, oblivious to all around them as they bathe in Facebook likes and Tinder swipes from thirsty male supplicants online. A girl doing this walked into me on Tottenham Court Road a few weeks ago. I was chastised with an indignant yelp of protestation. It is, of course, men’s duty to move out of the way promptly when this happens.
Yeah, it’s not as if dudes ever march down the sidewalk oblivious to the world around them. Never ever seen that happen. Nope.
Oh, but it gets worse:
2) Women wearing sneakers with business suits on the way home from work
Nothing betrays a Sheryl Sandberg-clone femcunt like sports shoes with business attire. In London, this is the exclusive preserve of Anglo women who have brought into the myth of office-cubicle empowerment. I have yet to see this ghastly mismatch of styles in women from Eastern Europe or Russia.
Huh. I’m pretty sure women in the US started wearing sneakers — known in the UK as “lorries” — on their way home from work way back in the 1980s. You might think they did this because their feet hurt after wearing uncomfortable heels all day, and because they didn’t feel obligated to dress up for random schlubs on the subway. You would be wrong. It was Cultural Marxism all along!
3) Women wearing leggings as pants
“This fashion trend,” Gumbril declares, “is a Chernobyl-level disaster in the field of female attire, and an egregious affront to all decency.” Why? Because this shameless immodesty is a disgrace, an assault on all decent men, at least when the women’s butts are, you know, fat.
4) Increasingly androgynous women (who won’t give Gumbril their phone numbers)
After lamenting “the distinct and often brash lack of femininity” of today’s London women, Gumbril tells this horrifying story of what happened when he tried to pick up one of these women, for some reason:
Over the weekend, I had an unpleasant experience opening an Audrey Hepburn lookalike.
I’m just hoping he means he “opened” her in the pickup artist sense and not in the serial killer sense.
What struck me about this distasteful set, aside from the the snarky disdain and aggressive, relentless shit testing, was the fashion—high cut bangs, a formless cream coat, boy trousers, and boy shoes.
The style is an instant erection killer, and (unfortunately) increasingly common.
Er, quick question: if you think the existence of women like these are a sign of the Cultural Marxist apocalypse, and if the sight of them causes your permaboner to shrink, WHY DID YOU TRY TO PICK HER UP? You’re not actually obligated to start a conversation with anyone or anything you can, at least in theory, put your penis into.
Anyhoo, this dire state of affairs, Gumbril tells us, is all the fault of Cultural Marxism and the evil elites promulgating it, who for some reason benefit when women wear sneakers with business suits.
Similar to the Soviets’ New Socialist Man, the New Feminist Woman is a grotesque pastiche of anti-femininity, Kurzweilian automation, and repugnant narcissism taken to depraved extremes. The men who have to come to terms with these women must deal with androgynous, unfeminine women who are addicted to their iPhones and who live at the centre [of] a CERN-like attention vortex driven by real life and social media validation.
So I guess the only solution is for Gumbril and other dudes who think like him to stop giving these women their attention.
Somehow I suspect this proposal will be acceptable to the women of the world as well.
NOTE: Sneakers are not actually referred to as “lorries” in the U.K. I was just making a joke. They are actually known as “spotted dicks.”
Awh, not Pratchett! That sucks
@Kootiepatra – And they always attribute base motives to other people, thanks to their complete lack of empathy. They suck at theory of mind. They’re not able to understand what other people might be thinking, or that other people might not be thinking about them, so they project their own scheming, vile thoughts and hateful motivations onto the rest of the world.
Besides mind-reading, these dudes are notoriously unreliable narrators. It seems like all their stories are suspiciously pat. The women behave like sitcom characters, the dialogue is embarrassingly stilted, the narrator is always a Gary Stu. Who’s to say this Theodore Gumbril guy didn’t deliberately stand in the way of the girl so she’d bump into him? Who’s to say her “oops, I’m sorry” didn’t get turned into an “indignant yelp of protestation” for purposes of the story? Who’s to say it even happened?
Most of the stuff they get mad at exists entirely inside their heads. They can’t tell fantasy from reality. They also think it’s perfectly OK to lie about “the enemy” (women) in the service of fighting their imaginary battle against feeeemale oppression. It doesn’t exactly make their anecdotes trustworthy.
It’s everyone’s duty to avoid running into people, genius. If someone isn’t holding up their end of the bargain, because they’re sight-impaired or intoxicated or engrossed in texting, that isn’t an invitation to force the issue. Your testicles aren’t going to hibernate just because you yielded a few square inches of pavement to a stranger. If there’s a close call, or you’re worried that she might be endangering other pedestrians, a pleasant but firm “Watch where you’re going!” or “Whoops, heads up!” is all you need.
Only an MRA could turn something as simple as walking down the sidewalk into an epic territory struggle.
I can’t wear contacts. I wish I could. Rx Sunglasses are expensive. Still, I love my glasses. I’m getting a new pair soon. Can’t wait. It’s fun for me to get new glasses. They’re cute accessories that give me the gift of sight. It’s not quite Green Lantern’s ring or Jem’s earrings, but it’s as close as I’m going to get.
Growing up I was given the message that no woman could be sexy in glasses. (Even Marilyn Monroe) So, my jaw nearly hit the floor the first time I heard the words, “Leave them on”.
People find so many things sexy. Some are turned on by dirty bare feet. Some by smeared make up. (Who’d have thought raccoon eyes were hot?) One may like the smell of cologne/perfume while another is into the smell of sweat and engine oil. What turns people on seems to depend on the individual. That these guys want women to stop what they are doing and start worrying about what gets them off is so utterly ridiculous. I’d like to see women give a run down of his appearance and what he needs to do to give them lady-boners on their commute to work. Maybe then he’d realize how silly he’s being?
Nah.
@Paradoxical:
I’m not sure I’m the right person to answer this as I’m indifferent to glasses.
Disclaimer given, I think it could be a positive thing as glasses are often associated with intelligence so really it’s an attraction to intelligent women.
:'( I loved that brave, brilliant, wonderful man. His books have been a source of joy for me.
re:athletic shoes and business wear
This is how the vast majority of my coworkers dress every day. It’s only the people in administration who actually change shoes when they get to work.
re:cracked iphone screens (and somewhat related to the mismatch between shoes/attire)
One thing I encounter all the time in my offline social circles is a kind of reverse-classism. There’s a frequent kind of one-upmanship where people try and show how little they can afford and/or how minimalist their lifestyle is. I’ve had more than one friend proudly proclaim that they only own two pairs of pants. I had to take one of them pants shopping once because they had torn up and repurposed on of their pairs of pants as a bindle on a hiking trip, and their only other pair of pants had a hole ripped out of the crotch. One of these friends has a six figure income.
I had a friend who was homeless by choice for over a year while making over $15 an hour.
In this context, cracked iPhone screens definitely get used as a status symbol. It says “yeah, I can afford an iPhone but I can’t afford to replace it or get it fixed so I’m not really wealthy”.
I think part of it is that many of the people I know like that are political radicals who feel guilty about their privilege so they try and hide it as much as possible.
re:glasses
The “remove glasses, become sexy” trope is one of my least favorite things ever, and it’s weirdly prevalent both in pop culture and, apparently, in real life.
@Kootiepatra:
If it was just the reading I wouldn’t have a problem with it. It’s when people treat their guesses as fact that I get annoyed. And by that I mean they tell it as if it’s truth, or go further and act on it.
@Lea:
That video made me cry. I’m not sure I can fully imagine how isolating, frustrating and draining that sort of existence must be. I’m not sure I’d be able to cope as well as she has.
—
Having read a few of the replies about glasses wearing, I’m just going to add that what I said about glasses wasn’t supposed to make forcing anyone to wear them okay, I was just being optimistic as to the reasons.
@wordspinner, in case you haven’t found shoes yet, I highly recommend Aerosoles’ Red Hots. So comfy! I can wear them walking for 40 minutes over lunch with no regrets.
Can confirm that the switch to sneakers came from a NYC Transit strike in the 80’s while Ed Koch was mayor – and that guys with nothing better to do with their time were complaining about this in the NY Times back then. Which I think shows an alarming consistency in their small mindedness.
And Audrey Hepburn? The beautiful wonderfully talented actor and tireless activist for children ( – the UN HAS A STATUE OF HER in HER HONOR) who is a 60’s fashion icon- that’s the person you use to try to use as negative example? Gad these people.
@ParadoxicalIntention: I don’t know about that, I think the glasses fetish is, for the most part, pretty innocuous. I have friends who love glasses on guys, and I think they just like how it looks or think it looks distinguished. For a lot of men I think it’s tied to the “sexy librarian” fetish.
To be fair, I don’t think he meant to use the talented, gorgeous, courageous (as a teenager she raised money for the Dutch Resistance in underground anti-Nazi performances! WITH BALLET!), kindhearted, and all-around wonderful woman that was Audrey Hepburn as an insult (cuz seriously, that’d be, like, one of the worst insults of all time), he was just claiming he hit on a woman who looked like her but was totally a bitch and looked ugly in mannish clothing, you guys. But even then that’s laughable, because this is what Audrey Hepburn *rocked* a cream coat:
Wasn’t sure if someone already mentioned this, but the ultimate example of “uncomfortable footwear is required to be sexy”, of course, is the Chinese tradition of foot binding:
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=8966942&sc=emaf
The ideal length of a bound foot? 3 inches long.
Oh, the horrors these men face in their everyday life.
@Hambeast, you should totally rock the nylons if you want to rock the nylons! Personally, I like to go for patterned pairs. Got some tartan ones on right now.
Yeah, the whole selfie-bashing thing is part-and-parcel of the larger notion that women are simultaneously supposed to match the particular mister’s personal standard of beauty AND be unaware that they are beautiful, because that would be vain. This obviously relates to negging–the entire purpose of which is to undermine a woman’s self-confidence in her looks. (“What makes you beautiful” by One Direction is another example of this.)
http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2015/03/florida-woman-checks-into-domestic-violence-shelter-with-son-to-avoid-court-order-to-have-him-circumcised/comments/#disqus
This article must be so confusing to MRAs. A woman fled to a DV center to keep he ex from having their 4 yr old son circumcised.
I wear them too Hambeast. At least I do until it is too hot and humid to stand it. Then it’s bare legs and bare feet!
Viscaria, here in SoCal, it’s just not done. Not even cute, patterned tights get much play here. I don’t normally allow what’s fashionable to dictate what I wear, but people with pantyhose really stand out here and look out of place even to me. My wardrobe is all pants these days since I work in retail and skirts don’t really work anyway (climbing ladders, LOTS of bending over) If I ever get another dress, I’ll get myself a pair of vixen-y black hose, though!
On glasses: I tried about ten years ago to get contacts, mainly for Renaissance festival wear (hubby and I were in a guild back then.) After four office visits, I had to give up; apparently I have a VERY strong blink reflex in my left eye. The only one who could get one in there was the ophthalmologist himself. Eyeglass frames are my only fashion indulgence; I am willing to put large amounts of $ on my credit card for frames I will wear every day. The ones I have now gather loads of compliments!
Women are also expected to put in all the work that it takes to meet the individual man’s standards, but can’t be seen to be putting in the effort, because it ruins the illusion. Thus, make-up that conceals variations in skin is necessary,but make-up in fun, clearly artificial shades is pointless girly stuff. Choosing the correct outfit for a date is a must, but the common trope of a woman making a man wait as she selects an outfit is used to show how vain women are.
Should have refreshed before posting! My comment would have made more sense had it been right after free mage’s.
Hambeast,that makes sense, that the trends would be different in SoCal than in the frozen wastelands. Sorry to hear it.
@Lea – thanks for sharing that vid! It is fantastic. She is so eloquent. And she really does deserve better treatment. By that I mean, people can disagree but they shouldn’t threaten her or anyone for just existing.
On the topic of the post
I am really fascinated by people who want their surroundings to conform to whatever fantasy is knocking about what passes for brains in their skulls. I guess I don’t understand what it’s like to walk around thinking everyone should behave however is pleasing to me.
By the way, what is the “depravity” he refers to? How is dressing comfortably depraved?
And thanks to those who pointed out that cracked iPhones are a thing. Who knew?
Hipster, please. Why are you hiding behind those Woody Allen frames (and/or a big ol’ lumberjack beard)?
PS: I wear glasses. Have done so since I was 8, so for nearly 40 years now. This “compliment” had never been flattering, and I’ve heard it ever since I started wearing contacts, at 18. From guys who used to shun me when I was Ms. Speccy Four-Eyes.
I’ve had my glasses since kindergarten. They are part of my face, and if they don’t like them, or my face, they can fuck right off.
@ Lea
Don’t get your hopes up. I’ve already seen a few comments claiming that “feminists won’t say/do anything!” and “This woman will be disowned by feminists for breaking the feminist man hating mandates!”
Even in fairly neutral places, like Joe. My. God. (Which really, sadly, isn’t that surprising. The comment section has enough misogyny in general that it makes me as a queer woman uncomfortable doing anything more than just reading the articles.)
Viscaria: Do you ever read Heinous Dealings? Heina Dadabhoy has some awesome things to say about make-up and such being about the wearer, not the viewer. This one is typical: http://freethoughtblogs.com/heinous/2015/03/06/looking-pretty/
@freemage I’ve read some of their stuff, but that’s the first time I’ve seen that particular post. It’s perfect! Exactly what I was trying to express, and more besides.