You may have already heard the news: the upcoming Ghostbusters reboot with women in the lead roles — which caused such consternation amongst the douchebags of the world when it was recently announced — is going to be followed up with another Ghostbusters featuring dudes at the helm once again.
No, really.
Deadline spoke to Ghostbusters mastermind Ivan Reitman, who is forming a new production company with Dan Aykroyd to explore the wondrous new branding opportunities that lie in wait:
We want to expand the Ghostbusters universe in ways that will include different films, TV shows, merchandise, all things that are part of modern filmed entertainment … This is a branded entertainment … .
This is obviously going to be amazing. What, after all, is more hilarious than branded entertainment?
But why stop here? Clearly it is an injustice to the world’s men EVERY time women star in films that should rightfully belong completely to dudes, like everything else in the world.
So here are 20 more dude-ified “reboots” of films with female leads.
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The Brotherhood of the Traveling Bag of Dirty Laundry
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The Wizard of Oz, But Like that HBO Series This Time
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Whip It Out
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Frozen Entree
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The Hungry Man TV Dinner Games
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The Hungry Man Games: Lighting Farts
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Larry Croft: Fridge Raider
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Charlie’s Charlies
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Bridesdudes
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The Devil Wears Axe Body Spray
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Winter’s Boner
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Girl Interrupted, Constantly, by Dudes Explaining Shit to Her
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The Artist Formerly Known As Prince Diaries
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Alpha Male-ficent
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All About Evel Knievel
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Iron Man-gnolias
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Fred’s Green Tomatoes
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Ernie Brockovich
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Norman Rae
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Sex and Them Titties
Any other suggestions? Or does anyone want to make a movie poster for one of these?
NOTE: Yes, I am terrible at Photoshop.
Whatever Happened to Man-Baby James? In which a basement-dwelling shut-in lives with his immature brother, who harbours bigoted, paranoid conspiracies which are detached from reality, and refuses to behave like an adult… but it’s all the fault of women somehow.
I’m not very good at these games, mine always sound so contrived.
Beau and the Ham-beast?
The Little Merman
El Dorado: The Lost City Of Liquid Fucking Gold
Logan Rennt
Prince Mononoke
Death Becomes Him
I’m finding it so hard to think of movies that have “too many” women in them.
Speaking of musicals…”My fair laddie” about a young man who’s taught to speak fancy.
“The merry widower”
“The H.M.S. Man-Apron” cause a Pinafore is wimminz clothes!
“Bloke-ahontas”
@Spindrift
Don’t forget:
Hello David!
Hair Gel
Papa Mia!
Eduardo (Evita).
Keke’s Delivery Service. Your packages get delivered by this guy.
http://i1.mirror.co.uk/incoming/article800736.ece/alternates/s615/keke-rosberg.jpg
I live All About Eve!!! Fadten your seatbelts, it’s gonna be a bumpy night.
Okay, i can’t type properly.
The Men
The Lucky Divorced Man (the divorcee)
For serious, in some ways it would have been nice if they’d done maybe a two-and-two Ghostbusters team, because that would have avoided some of this kind of wankage. But who knows.
Why can’t Dan “really wants to be Tom Hanks so hard, but can’t even come close because not actually funny or adorable in any way” keep himself busy with getting ‘My Stepfather is an Alien’ off the ground? Seems like a much better use of everyone’s time.
“Star Wars: the Phantom Cunt-ess”
LOL!!
@Spindrift: I quite like “Bloke-ahontas” 😀
Ninotchcount
Chapunzel
Don of the Planet of the Apes
Despicable Meme 2
Misterssippi Burning
Guys and Blowup Dolls
Also: “A Streetcar Going Its Own Way”
Desire is for beta chumps.
I’ve got nothing new, but gotta say I would totally watch “The Artist Formerly Known as Prince Diaries”
Apparently the “all-male” Ghostbusters team is in fact: Channing Tatum and Chris Pratt want to do a movie together, Sony wants a cinematic universe and are thinking of using Ghostbusters as kind of an umbrella of supernatural comedies (a plan which seems… flawed), and the media jumped on the idea of male people in a Ghostbusters movie as being a correction back to the status quo because sexism.
I wonder what the male version of Fifty Shades of Grey would be? Fifty Plates of Bacon?
Eternal Sunshine of the Womanless Mind
Ernest Goes to Jail, because of a false rape accusation by a feminazi
Super Mario Bros Before Hoes
The Cure for The Love Bug
Child Support of the Corn
Women are Nothing But Trouble (bonus fedora tip to Dan Aykroyd)
Puma Man vs the Cougar Women
All About Steve (oh, wait)
These are kind of a trilogy
There Will be Blood, amirite guyz
Bloody Pit of Horror, amirite guyz
Season of the Witch, amirite guyz
And of course the easy way to make any movie title one that would work “Tyler Perry’s _________________”
“Marius Poppins” the tale of a swearing, chain smoking, cockney butler and children put under his care.
I’ve got it: Fifty Shades of Red (Pill Philosophy)
I meant to say “the children put under his care”.
Well, originally Ghostbusters was going to be about a franchise operation that had multiple teams of Ghostbusters in multiple cities across the U.S.
So that part of it actually makes sense, to have multiple different teams. It’s just a shame that it’s being done because misogyny, not because “this would be a cool callback to the original concept and allow us to play with multiple ideas, lots of different teams and then maybe integrate them all together like the Avengers franchise and make tons of money and great movies too!”
… apparently I’m a huge Ghostbusters nerd or something.
frances | March 10, 2015 at 9:10 pm
Pretty sure it’d just be 50SoG, just from Christian Grey’s perspective instead of Ana’s.
Thomas and Lewis-instead of Thelma and Louise
Studs in the City-instead of Sex in the City
Jonathan’s Body-instead of Jennifer’s Body
Handsome in Blue-instead of Pretty in Pink
Steel Bollocks-instead of Steel Magnolias
I agree with Chimisaur. “The Artist Formerly Known as Prince Diaries” sounds awesome and somebody should make it.
misseb47 | March 10, 2015 at 10:56 pm
These are all really good, but…
1. I can practically taste the amount of “no homo” that would be in Thomas and Lewis.
2. If Jonathan’s Body isn’t as sexualized as Jennifer’s Body was, I would flip a table in rage and sexual frustration (please cast Channing Tatum. He already has experience as a male stripper in Magic Mike!).
And now I’m imagining Channing Tatum in a very sexualized schoolgirl outfit.
Aw, yeah~