You may have already heard the news: the upcoming Ghostbusters reboot with women in the lead roles — which caused such consternation amongst the douchebags of the world when it was recently announced — is going to be followed up with another Ghostbusters featuring dudes at the helm once again.
No, really.
Deadline spoke to Ghostbusters mastermind Ivan Reitman, who is forming a new production company with Dan Aykroyd to explore the wondrous new branding opportunities that lie in wait:
We want to expand the Ghostbusters universe in ways that will include different films, TV shows, merchandise, all things that are part of modern filmed entertainment … This is a branded entertainment … .
This is obviously going to be amazing. What, after all, is more hilarious than branded entertainment?
But why stop here? Clearly it is an injustice to the world’s men EVERY time women star in films that should rightfully belong completely to dudes, like everything else in the world.
So here are 20 more dude-ified “reboots” of films with female leads.
-
The Brotherhood of the Traveling Bag of Dirty Laundry
-
The Wizard of Oz, But Like that HBO Series This Time
-
Whip It Out
-
Frozen Entree
-
The Hungry Man TV Dinner Games
-
The Hungry Man Games: Lighting Farts
-
Larry Croft: Fridge Raider
-
Charlie’s Charlies
-
Bridesdudes
-
The Devil Wears Axe Body Spray
-
Winter’s Boner
-
Girl Interrupted, Constantly, by Dudes Explaining Shit to Her
-
The Artist Formerly Known As Prince Diaries
-
Alpha Male-ficent
-
All About Evel Knievel
-
Iron Man-gnolias
-
Fred’s Green Tomatoes
-
Ernie Brockovich
-
Norman Rae
-
Sex and Them Titties
Any other suggestions? Or does anyone want to make a movie poster for one of these?
NOTE: Yes, I am terrible at Photoshop.
Thaddeus and Luis
The Book of More Men
Misogynist Pizza
The Wankers of Eastwick
A League of Their Own (remade with an all-male cast, playing plucky baseball players who finally get the chance to play in a men’s baseball league)
Are You There God? It’s Me, MGOTW
Steel Manginas
I can’t seem to stop. New TV series: Touched by an Incel
“Malien”, cause “Alien” clearly had too many wimminzes in it. Then “Maliens”, “Malien Vs Sexual predator”, etc.
“The wild world of batman”
“Jim and the holomans”
Can’t think of any others that haven’t been mentioned already.
Victor Christopher Barcelona
“Manholland drive” did someone beat me to that one?
Ah, I see someone beat me to male-iens!
Didn’t SNL actually do a ‘CinderElton’ skit at one point? Glitter all over the place…
Sex and Them Titties speaks to me. It would basically be Sex and The City if the whole story were told from the male characters point of view.
I thought of “Meninist on the Roof”, but I think that sounds like a horror movie more than a musical.
“Victor/Victor” about a male singer who pretends to be a man pretending to be a man.
because reasons | March 10, 2015 at 4:03 pm
http://mrwgifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/Alyssa-Milano-Popcorn-Gif.gif
I think there actually was a Stepford Husbands. And a Cinderfella, starring Jerry Lewis. That’s some quality male-centric entertainment right there!
Why not go all out–remake the 1939 all-female classic “The Women” as “The Men”! Starring an ensemble cast of entirely men without a single female in sight, and only talked about in relation to men! How groundbreaking to make a movie about men, starring men!
Seriously, I’m not even *all* that invested in the female Ghostbusters (it annoys men when “the all-female Ghostbusters” like having all female protagonists is the same as an all-female movie), though I do enjoy the male tears and Kristen Wiig/Melissa McCarthy, but this pissed me off so much. The only legitimate reason you could have for opposing a reboot starring women is not wanting a reboot to be made period, a position I could actually sympathize with. But when the “concession” is an all-male reboot–yeah, good luck explaining how you’re not sexist.
@Thalia: you’re right, there was a Stepford Husbands TV movie. I think the 2004 film also had one Stepford Husband who was one half of a gay couple in addition to making the conspiracy led by a woman instead of the town’s men. Because we’re such a post-feminist society, we can’t adapt a story that only makes sense as feminist commentary without getting rid of the feminism.
*Goddammit I can’t type anything today–“It annoys me when people say ‘the all-female Ghostbusters”, like having all female protagonists is the same thing as an all-female movie.”
Let it Bro (a MGTOW rendition of Let it Go)
The screen glows white on the manosphere tonight
Not a woman to be seen
A kingdom of isolation
From feminazi queens
Girls should be howling as we shut ourselves inside
Couldn’t keep my marriage, heaven knows I tried!
Don’t let women in; don’t come near me!
Be the alpha I always want to be
My angry feels, must let them know
Well now they know!
Let it Bro
Let it Bro
Can’t hold it back any more!
Let it Bro
Let it Bro
But don’t quite close the door
I do care
What women would say
If I walked out now
But please tell me that you’ll do things my way
It’s funny how strong women
Make my ego feel small
And the fears that once controlled me…
…Haven’t changed at all
It’s time to see what I will do
Test social limits, and break through!
No right no wrong, no rules for me, I’m free!
Let it Bro
Let it Bro
I’m going to whinge and whine
Let it Bro
Let it Bro
Feminists make me cry!
Here I stand
And here I’ll stay
Let my words rage on!
Let it Bro
Let it Bro
We’ll rise like an angry dawn
Let it Bro
Let it Bro
Quality girls are gone!
Here we stand
And here we’ll stay
But we won’t move on
‘Til girls let us always have our own way.
——————-
I know I missed out a chunk but I honestly found it too hard. If anyone else wants to try go ahead. Also I only used the word ‘girls’ when ‘women’ just wouldn’t quite fit.
What the??? The Stepford Wives was a FEMALE plot in the newer one? Because women secretly want to be murdered and replaced by robots with big boobs?
“MGTOW with the wind”
OMG, the Let It Bro lyrics have killed me. Verily, I am slain.
sunnysombrera, that was everything I was hoping for. Thank you!!!!
@Thalia: here’s the Wikipedia summary:
“Distraught over the loss of her husband, Claire explains that she created Stepford because she, too, was a bitter, career-minded woman, a tired brain surgeon. When she discovered that Mike was having an affair, she murdered him and his lover in a jealous rage. Deciding to make the world ‘more beautiful’, she created her robot husband, partly because he was someone other men would listen to. When Joanna wonders aloud why Claire didn’t simply make the men into robots, she replies that she planned to turn the whole community into robots. Claire then electrocutes herself by kissing Mike’s severed robotic head.”
Seriously. I understand that there have always been women who have upheld the patriarchy, but no, she’s not even a stereotypical traditional/conservative woman. She’s a “bitter-career minded woman.”
“(Liquid fucking) golden boys” ?
Are we just doing movies or do tv series count too?
Let’s not forget that there’s already been a female Ghostbuster.
Her name was Kylie Griffin, and she was on the second Ghostbusters cartoon, which many of these dudebros don’t even seem to remember existed. If I were a gatekeeping dudebro like they were, that would make them not TRUE Ghostbusters fans.
In case anybody else forgot, the show also had a Ghostbuster in a wheelchair, and a Hispanic kid and a black kid rounded out the team. They were all cool.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Extreme_Ghostbusters
Gone Girl, and we’re all glad for it.
Sperm Jack
Fried green bacon
He’s the man
The Notepad
How to lose a chick in 10 days
Love and other misandry
@Spindrift
I did musicals so I don’t see why you can’t do TV shows.
My apologies if some of these have been done already, but anyway:
Men Pause: The Musical. Cuz menopause is doubly misandrist.
A League of Our Own: brave boys stand up to prevent those icky girls from playing.
Mean Boys: we never wear pink any days cuz that’s girly.
I’d say Little Men, but that was an official sequel about Jo’s sons, so that’d be fair enough I guess.
A Boy Walks Home Alone at Night. No one sees it because men can already do that without being accused of asking to be raped.