You may have already heard the news: the upcoming Ghostbusters reboot with women in the lead roles — which caused such consternation amongst the douchebags of the world when it was recently announced — is going to be followed up with another Ghostbusters featuring dudes at the helm once again.
No, really.
Deadline spoke to Ghostbusters mastermind Ivan Reitman, who is forming a new production company with Dan Aykroyd to explore the wondrous new branding opportunities that lie in wait:
We want to expand the Ghostbusters universe in ways that will include different films, TV shows, merchandise, all things that are part of modern filmed entertainment … This is a branded entertainment … .
This is obviously going to be amazing. What, after all, is more hilarious than branded entertainment?
But why stop here? Clearly it is an injustice to the world’s men EVERY time women star in films that should rightfully belong completely to dudes, like everything else in the world.
So here are 20 more dude-ified “reboots” of films with female leads.
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The Brotherhood of the Traveling Bag of Dirty Laundry
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The Wizard of Oz, But Like that HBO Series This Time
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Whip It Out
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Frozen Entree
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The Hungry Man TV Dinner Games
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The Hungry Man Games: Lighting Farts
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Larry Croft: Fridge Raider
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Charlie’s Charlies
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Bridesdudes
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The Devil Wears Axe Body Spray
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Winter’s Boner
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Girl Interrupted, Constantly, by Dudes Explaining Shit to Her
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The Artist Formerly Known As Prince Diaries
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Alpha Male-ficent
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All About Evel Knievel
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Iron Man-gnolias
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Fred’s Green Tomatoes
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Ernie Brockovich
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Norman Rae
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Sex and Them Titties
Any other suggestions? Or does anyone want to make a movie poster for one of these?
NOTE: Yes, I am terrible at Photoshop.
Eat, grunt, anonymous sex.
I’m having trouble thinking of mainstream movies that haven’t already been covered. All I’ve got left is independent, foreign, or made for TV movies. And Disney Princesses.
Cinderfella?
Kill Jill cont.
* He isn’t shot in the head … he is berated and nagged into a coma.
* Scene where a a feminist nurse sells his body a fugly woman while he is in the coma … see, women rape men too.
* Assassin Squad isn’t the DIVAs … it’s the White Knights.
Him … I think you could actually do a short “extended trailer” version of this that would work out fairly well.
Ugh. Dan Aykroyd.
He’s been wanking whenever female comedians do anything since his SNL days.
That actually does exist if you count parody porn films. It doesn’t have a male lead though.
Mean Girls (oppressing innocent menz)
I second my contempt for Dan Aykroyd.
Also, throwing my movie remake suggestion into the ring:
Dudebro (instead of Juno), where a snarky teenage boy gets spremjacked after one night of careless experimentation, and even though he contemplates being a decent human being and contributing to the child’s life in a meaningful way, he decides in the end to take that evil, spermjacking harpy to court…or something. EXPLOSIONS!!!1!
Tanya Nguyen: That article was painful. It’s like the author had never even heard of Oz.
Opium4the masses: I will watch any of those movies, if the men are buff and wearing speedos, ala 300.
*spermjacked. ugh!
Men and (Toxic) Masculinity (Sense and Sensibility)
Finally! A movie that will mansplain all the things to my sad little lady-brain! I can’t wait 🙂
But… only there’s a hunk. There’d better be some manly hunk of a man in that one. How else will I ever manage to ‘pay attention’ if you get my drift ~.~
First Husband’s Club in which oppressed men seek vengeance on their ex wives by whining about child support on the internet.
Dude Presidents
Mr Congeniality
mAle-iens
Pride and Prejudicial Family Courts
Alex in Wonderland
Silence of the Lads
Boys Do Cry
Million Dollar Child Support for Baby
Porn Yesterday
She’s Got Male Tears
Dude Presidents
Mr Congeniality
mAle-iens
Pride and Prejudicial Family Courts
Alex in Wonderland
Silence of the Lads
Boys Do Cry
Million Dollar Child Support for Baby
Porn Yesterday
She’s Got Male Tears
WWTH: We’re talking about movies, not reality shows, AHAHAHAHA!
opium4themasses: Awesome list, I am humbled.
Paranormal Hacktivity. A feminist demon is targeting the male half of a couple. He uses his manly STEM skills to convince the demon that demonic possession is misandry and that she’d more easily get a man if she made sandwiches and gave them blow jobs instead.
Soup or Man? | March 10, 2015 at 2:41 pm
As someone who dearly loves Practical Magic: HOLD UP I GOT THIS!
Two scientist brothers (because witchcraft is for GIRLS who can’t SCIENCE) go to live with their two eccentric scientist uncles (who the townsfolk go to for favors but don’t actually like because they’re all ANTI-LOGIC) after their father dies in a terrible accident (that’s really just coincidence).
One of the brothers is secretly dosed with hormones from his uncles to make him fall in love with a local woman, and they have kids together. She dies in a terrible (coincidental) accident, and the brother goes back with his two sons to live with their uncles, after finding out about the hormones. He refuses to let his kids science ever because he feels betrayed (what a weenie).
The other brother gets in with an abusive girlfriend (SEE?! Men are abused by women too…but seriously what a weenie), and the first brother gets a phone call from a motel late at night asking for his help, and the first brother has to come and save him. They “accidentally” poison the abusive girlfriend with cyanide, and have to do something about it.
They quickly run home to their uncles’ house, and use the uncles’ science stuff to bring the girl back from the dead to cover their asses (because even if it was in self-defense, they’d get totally tossed in jail because they killed a WOMAN and courts are all biased towards the bitches anyways).
She ends up coming back as a demon (because that’s totes believable, right? I mean, men are doing SCIENCE), and the brothers have to kill her again (with a gun, because blunt force trauma is for feeeemales). They bury her under the MANgarden to hide her body from their uncles.
Meanwhile, a feeeemale FBI agent comes to town to investigate the missing (dead) girlfriend. She instantly falls for the widower brother because he’s so RUGGED and MANLY and he has KIDS and he’s so CARING and has such a big DICK (and most likely lots of money).
And they simply convince her that they haven’t seen the girlfriend because she’s a feeble minded feeemale (and let’s face it, it’s totes not believable that she’s working for the FBI, I mean, c’mon, stretching it much?), and she ends up staying in the town and marrying the widower brother, and nothing else bad happens because the menz took care of it.
So many great suggestions. I especially like Brozen and 27 Dress Shirts That Look The Same
Stepford Husbands. Oh, the misandry!
Hey, MRAs complaining about women not having to sign up for the draft?
http://science.howstuffworks.com/innovation/inventions/10-things-that-women-invented.htm
A woman invented Kevlar. What have you done for any soldiers?
Shit. Double post, sorry.
Thanks for the complement … Because Reasons.
Did someone say musicals?
The Sound of Music Men
Thoroughly Modern Matthew
Man-tilda
Mr Saigon
Master Butterfly
Ghost the Muscular
Andy
Chicago-ing Galt
Wicked Game, Dude
Somebody here who’s good with poetry or lyrics, I beseech you: please make “Let It Bro” happen.
You’re most welcome!