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Sarkeesian Effect Breakup Videos vs Tiny Puppies Struggling with Stairs

Not all puppies are adorable
Not all puppies are adorable

The things I do for you people.

Over the past few days I’ve been catching up with the small flood of Youtube videos that have come out that deal with l’affaire Sarkeesian Effect Breakup. The result is that I’ve spent so much time listening to Davis Aurini explain his terrible side of the story that he’s invaded my dreams.

And I mean that literally:  the night before last, I dreamt I ran across a grouchy and dispirited Aurini sitting alone at a table in McDonald’s. When he saw me he declared “don’t even think about trying to sit with me!” As if, dude!

Later in the same dream I was performing improv theater dressed as a hippie, but I doubt you’re interested in hearing more about that, so I’ll keep it confined to my dream diary.

Anyhoo, so I thought I would share a few of the more watchable Sarkeesian Effect videos.

I am aware that not all of you will have the time or inclination to watch all or even any of these videos, so I’m interspersing them with videos of tiny puppies trying to navigate stairs that are bigger than they are. Enjoy!

In this video, am angry Sarkeesian Effect supporter and Reaxxion writer laments that the implosion of the project might (gasp!) lead to Anita Sarkeesian having a good day. Well, her and “all the other SJW shitheads and all their little degenerate fucking beta cuck army of white knight assholes.” Skip ahead to 4:25 for that nugget. I’m tempted to make “Degenerate Beta Cuck Army of White Knight Assholes” t-shirts.

The videomaker later posted a lengthy interview with Aurini. So if you’re into that sort of thing — I don’t judge — you can take a listen. He followed this up with an exasperated and disillusioned third video in which he declared that the Sarkeesian Effect exes look like a couple of “squabbling children.”

Speaking of children, here’s an assortment of dog children — that is, puppies — facing stairs for the first time.

Here, Matt Forney, a leading contender for worst person on the internet, also interviews Aurini at length. The first seven or so minutes of the video, originally streamed live, are derailed by technical difficulties. So if you’ve ever wanted to hear an irritated and incompetent Matt Forney awkwardly try to avoid dead air while repeatedly trying and failing to connect to Davis Aurini on Skype, this is the video for you! (Next time, maybe get your interviewee on the line before going live?)

Here a tiny army of tiny puppies launch a tiny assault on a tiny set of stairs.

Here the clownish far-right pontificator Bernard Chapin suggests that the real lesson here is “never trust a leftist.” Because in his mind the libertarian Jordan Owen is a “leftist.” In other news, night is day and fish are birds.

Here a leftist six-month-old puppy teaches an 8-week-old puppy how to go down stairs.

Here, someone who supports the “messages” of The Sarkeesian Effect blasts both Aurini and Owen, declaring that “neither of you are qualified to do [this] project” and that Aurini is a “pseudointellectual windbag that spews word salad in an attempt to make himself sound sophisticated and intelligent.” As pleasurable as it is to hear a #GamerGater type launch into the two, there’s also some nasty stuff about Sarkeesian and some viciously transphobic crap about Brianna Wu, so be warned.

Here one fearless puppy and one nervous puppy tackle a set of stairs, with the help of an older dog.

Let me finish off with a little poll.

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Hyena Girl
5 years ago

None of the above: The prop skulls should complete the film.

ladysunami
ladysunami
5 years ago

One vote for Davis Aurini huh? I wonder who the vote is from.

Bernardo Soares
Bernardo Soares
5 years ago

What the heck? AFAIK, people shouldn’t let puppies walk stairs because of their hips. My family has a house with two steep stairs, and when we bought our first puppy, we were warned in no uncertain terms to carry it for a certain time, because walkin would contribute to dysplasia in later life.

Aurini, on the other hand – I’m thinking of calling the whole story the Sarkeesian Crush Saga – because, well, they seem to be crushing themselves, and Gamergators hate “casual” gamers. Well, maybe they should have been warned about “casual” filmmaking…

ſoǝ Klǝɯɯǝɹ (@JoeKlemmer)

I almost voted for Jordan because he looks like a homeless sterno bum, which reminded me of mu university days, but the poop is infinitely more qualified to make the film.

frances
frances
5 years ago

@Bernardo Soares What? Really? I had no idea.

neoriceisgood
neoriceisgood
5 years ago

Okay hands up, who on earth voted for Aurini?!

theladyzombie
5 years ago

Yeah Jordan Owen is a leftist, but only if you consider privilege blind Ayn Rand worshipers as leftist.

Little know fact – Rand did most of her writing sitting in the bathtub, whining about Anita Sarkeesian and anti-porn feminists.

But I do so love that the second Owen started to have the faintest inkling that his compadres might be a bunch of horrible shitgoblins, they labeled him a leftist.

wordsp1nner
wordsp1nner
5 years ago

When we brought my parents’ oldest cat home, it took her a bit to figure out what stairs were (she was an adult and could maneuver them fine, it just took her a bit to get the concept). So instead, she ended up jumping from the second floor loft onto the couch on the first floor a couple of times.

She doesn’t do that anymore.

Anyway, here are some kittens learning stairs. As you can see, cats are better at stairs than dogs.

Merus
Merus
5 years ago

“In this video, am angry Sarkeesian Effect supporter and Reaxxion writer laments that the implosion of the project might (gasp!) lead to Anita Sarkeesian having a good day.”

Well considering yesterday she spent the day presenting at a feminist conference at the Sydney Opera House it seems like she had a pretty good day. Also, she was on Colbert Report once.

Listen, just keep accusing her of bizarre and nonsensical conspiracies, because it’s working so well this far. You’re definitely not exposing the patriarchal structures of control for all to see.

Miss Andry
5 years ago

This calls for a round of breakup songs. Maybe “Love Hurts”?

hippodameia8527
hippodameia8527
5 years ago

You do a lot for us, David, and we appreciate it all.

childrenofthebroccoli
childrenofthebroccoli
5 years ago

Yay baby animals! It doesn’t surprise me that kittens are better than puppies at stairs; cats are built for climbing, dogs not so much.

Nequam
Nequam
5 years ago

Fuck Matt Forney for stealing art from the genuinely entertaining Basic Instructions webcomic.

Dreadnought
Dreadnought
5 years ago

It’s really starting to irritate me how “SJW” is being tossed around like an insult. What kind of person could ever possibly be against equality? Using “SJW” as an insult makes as much sense as attempting to slight someone because they’re against infanticide.

M.
M.
5 years ago

Well, her and “all the other SJW shitheads and all their little degenerate fucking beta cuck army of white knight assholes.”

This dipshit does know that men can be pro-social justice too, right? Or does he think MLK and Ghandi were women in disguise?

Xanthë
5 years ago

Hi all, I must confess to all here present, that I voted for Aurini – in my opinion, he has the best chance of making the Sarkeesian Effect movie resemble a colossal pile of dog poop. Dog poop unfortunately is inanimate and horrible but incapable of creating a movie, so I had to demur on those grounds; if David had had cute puppies attempting to master stairs as the third option, they would have had my vote. (Even though they too are probably incapable of making films as well.)

The most interesting thing for me about Aurini attempting to release his own edit of the material independently of Owen would be counting the number of attempts to feature his prop skull in the background. So far, that is almost the only thing which might be either surprising or interesting in all of the various Sarkeesian Effect making-of videos. Are people taking a book on whether this turkey (or these turkeys, potentially) actually gets released?

Adam
Adam
5 years ago

I recall hearing something about how “all the SJWs will eat each other!”
Yeah, about that.
Seriously, it seems like these people cannibalize each other for fun.

sparky
sparky
5 years ago

That Aurini-headed dog will haunt my nightmares.

suffrajitsu
suffrajitsu
5 years ago

Happy International Women’s Day, all! Here’s to misandry and the matriarchy ^-^

Didn’t vote because I am *all* for both Aurini and Owen finishing their own Sarkeesian Effect documentaries. Without each other to cancel out their individual worst ideas, we can expect full-on ninja fight scenes and 2 straight hours of ranting in the bathtub.

decourse
decourse
5 years ago

Xanthë has a good point. Aurini has a proven track record in creating insanely stupid videos, and you can’t say that of dog poop.

I still voted for dog poop, and I’m a cat person.

Sarity
Sarity
5 years ago

This breakup ;_; It’s like a wonderful gift that keeps on giving. Needing only to stand back while these turdclowns crumble under the weight of their own awfulness fills me with levels of shadenfreude that tempt an iota of guilt. Almost.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
5 years ago

It’s really starting to irritate me how “SJW” is being tossed around like an insult.

It’s especially stupid when you consider that the opposite of Social Justice Warrior is Antisocial Injustice Warrior.

Or is that a double negative?

PussyPowerTantrum
PussyPowerTantrum
5 years ago

@M.

Or does he think MLK and Ghandi were women in disguise?

Given the high incidence of racist and other right-wing beliefs in the Manosphere, I’m not sure I want to know what any of them thinks of MLK or any of the great figures in social justice. I mean, when Malala Yousafzai won the Nobel Peace Prize AVFM ran an article saying she was the harbinger of a greater threat than Osama Bin Laden. Fuck these guys.

Xanith
Xanith
5 years ago

So I’ve only listened to the first video so far, but I find it hilarious that he thinks the point of The Sarkeesian Effect and the point of gamergate in general is “the idea that we should be able to have disagreements and discussions as adults.”

But later he says that “maybe he missed something.” Yeah, I think he did miss something…

Aunt Edna
Aunt Edna
5 years ago

LMAO @ Matt Forney, especially his “sincere concern” over Owen’s mental health. The “technical difficulties” (LOL!) are just an icing on the cake.

Forney wouldn’t know mental health if it sat on his ugly face.

Leda Atomica
Leda Atomica
5 years ago

I had to go with poo because the question was of qualifications. Truth is we kind of need to see Aurini do more action scenes. Because the last super extra ninja cool fight added 3 years to my life, and with the amounts I drink every bit counts.

I live in an apartment block with a large dog who refuses to go any direction on “open” stairs. (I have no idea if there is a word for them in English, but you know, the kind of stairs that you can see under each step?) So when the lift is broken I have five floors of carrying 30 kilos of protesting dog. Actually it may be closer to 60 kg, dogs have an ability to double their weight when they don’t want to be lifted.

th1stle
th1stle
5 years ago

Holy heck, does Aurini have a hard on for Roosh or what?

I imagine him saying about Roosh: “You can take my life, but you can never take away my high opinion of THIS MAN!”

Also, why does Aurini sound like a muppet? Is it done on purpose?

M.
M.
5 years ago

“An admitted racist who’s deified an admitted rapist” is a pretty good summation of the moronosphere as a whole, really.

mildlymagnificent
5 years ago

OK David, ‘fess up.

You’ve been lighting candles, crossing all your fingers and toesies, and casting spells and curses and incantations to make this fustercluck happen, haven’t you.

Even you couldn’t have predicted exactly how much of a clusterfuck it would turn out to be. I think you should put away those things and not play with them again.

opium4themasses
5 years ago

One of the videos has Aurini claiming that Roosh isn’t a PUA. He says Roosh just talks about Game.

What are words?

Shaenon
5 years ago

But could the puppies get laid in Denmark?

Dvärghundspossen
5 years ago

What the heck? AFAIK, people shouldn’t let puppies walk stairs because of their hips. My family has a house with two steep stairs, and when we bought our first puppy, we were warned in no uncertain terms to carry it for a certain time, because walkin would contribute to dysplasia in later life.

People, used to say that, yeah, And I guess a lot of people still do. However, AFAIK no research has been able to confirm any link between hip dysplasia and walking in stairs. The only study I know of found the opposite correlation (although that, as always, does not imply causation – perhaps most dogs who were allowed to walk in stairs lived in houses whilst most dogs being carried lived in apartments, for instance, and there are further differences in lifestyle between house- and apartment dogs).

What we do know is that genetics play a big part, but in order to really get the frequency of hip dysplasia down it’s very much insufficient for a breeder to only breed parental animals who are free from dysplasia. One must choose free parental animals, whose parents were also free, and who had mostly free siblings. The latter may be fairly tricky if you live in a country where your kennel club doesn’t encourage the X-raying of non-breeding animals or keep any conscientious records of X-ray results for dogs, but it’s necessary if you really want to get the frequency down.
I suspect that many breeders want to hang on to the idea that the most important hip dysplasia factors are things that the puppy buyers do, such as letting the dog walk in stairs or feeding them kibble rather than a raw diet, rather than something the breeder does, such as breeding an animal with several siblings with hip dysplasia.

Paradoxical Intention
5 years ago

Shaenon | March 9, 2015 at 2:07 am

But could the puppies get laid in Denmark?

I don’t know about you, but I find that a love of small animals always gets me in with the ladies. And gents. And people of other genders.

We all sit around and play with the puppies and kitties and ferrets. It’s great.

dhag85
5 years ago

Never before have I been so proud of being a beta cuck white knight.

PussyPowerTantrum
PussyPowerTantrum
5 years ago

@dhag85

Never before have I been so proud of being a beta cuck white knight.

And mangina, don’t forget. Also possibly cockubine? I think the last one applies if you get birthday texts from your female friends.

Wetherby
Wetherby
5 years ago

This breakup ;_; It’s like a wonderful gift that keeps on giving. Needing only to stand back while these turdclowns crumble under the weight of their own awfulness fills me with levels of shadenfreude that tempt an iota of guilt. Almost.

No guilt here: this has been glorious. It was obvious from the first seconds of unveiled footage that they were about as capable of making a technically proficient and commercially releasable documentary as my daughter’s hamster, so it’s been clear for months that this project would collapse in ignominy at some point – but the sheer amount of WTFery has been amazing.

I mean, how disconnected from reality do you have to be to think that blowing a substantial chunk of your crowdfunded budget on a car is a good idea? Even without the rather crucial factor that you’re setting yourself up as an exemplar of ethical behaviour in journalism?

And splitting up because of a difference of opinion over Roosh V’s rape theories?

And making all this public?

I don’t know about you, but when I’ve had impassioned professional disagreements, I don’t merely not put them out on social media, I don’t even put them on private email – I have them out in person, face to face, with no recording devices present.

Paradoxical Intention
5 years ago

Wetherby

I mean, how disconnected from reality do you have to be to think that blowing a substantial chunk of your crowdfunded budget on a car is a good idea? Even without the rather crucial factor that you’re setting yourself up as an exemplar of ethical behaviour in journalism?

Don’t worry, I’m sure the supporters of this charade will find some way to justify Aruini’s expenditures while simultaneously decrying Anita for not documenting every red cent she spends on her project.

After all, it’s totally okay when a man (who despises Anita Sarkeesian as much as they do, otherwise he’s a simpering beta cuckubine) does it!

Orion
5 years ago

the genuinely entertaining Basic Instructions webcomic.

My father looks and acts exactly like the protagonist of Basic Instructions. It’s uncanny.

RaikonL
RaikonL
5 years ago

I voted Dog Poop, but from those two, I hope Owen doesn’t make the video because it will probably have shower scenes with him =/

kiki
kiki
5 years ago

I think their recent infatuation with the word ‘cuckold’ really is emblematic of the whole Woman-Hating Internet Shitbag movement. It’s a position that would elicit sympathy from most people, but they use it as an insult; most of them apparently don’t know what it means, as they throw it around so randomly, regardless of whether the target is even in a relationship; and while it’s a word that has existed for centuries, the first they heard of it was when it became a genre of porn.

magnesium
5 years ago

Given the high incidence of racist and other right-wing beliefs in the Manosphere, I’m not sure I want to know what any of them thinks of MLK or any of the great figures in social justice. I mean, when Malala Yousafzai won the Nobel Peace Prize AVFM ran an article saying she was the harbinger of a greater threat than Osama Bin Laden. Fuck these guys.

Rightwingers have long since repurposed and rewritten MLK as “one of the good ones”. They have this fever dream in which he politely asked white people to give him some rights as long as he was very nice and then sat quietly and waited for them to do so. Now they bring up imagination MLK every time they want to berate a minority for protesting a thing.

misseb47
misseb47
5 years ago

I voted for poop! Thanx for all these cute puppy videos, too! <3

Spindrift
Spindrift
5 years ago

I figured the poop would be able to make the most unbiased piece.

Tina S
Tina S
5 years ago

I watched the puppies.

Lea
Lea
5 years ago

Thank you, David.

Team Poop all the way!

Moggie
Moggie
5 years ago

Rightwingers have long since repurposed and rewritten MLK as “one of the good ones”. They have this fever dream in which he politely asked white people to give him some rights as long as he was very nice and then sat quietly and waited for them to do so. Now they bring up imagination MLK every time they want to berate a minority for protesting a thing.

Of course, despite Imagination MLK being so meek and respectful of white people, he still got shot in the face. It’s tough being an imaginary black hero in America.

dhag85
5 years ago

Loved the beginning of that Matt Forney vid, where he’s being oppressed by Google+. He’s so frustrated, you can tell he’s so close to blaming the technical difficulties on feminists and manginas.

dhag85
5 years ago

Hahahaha. “Sounds like you’re speaking through a tin can.” Dude, that’s how he always sounds!!!

KSRay
KSRay
5 years ago

“Degenerate Beta Cuck Army of White Knight Assholes”

What a coincidence! That’s the name of my band!

dhag85
5 years ago

Oh god I’m gonna die listening to this Matt Forney thing. @15:30 or so, Aurini says they wasted a lot of money for reasons that were “really nobody’s fault”. The example he gives is picking a hotel way out in Queens when they visited NYC for some reason or other, and apparently they had no way of knowing that Queens is not in Manhattan. Nope, no way of knowing this at all. Wtf is google btw?

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