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Sarkeesian Effect Breakup Videos vs Tiny Puppies Struggling with Stairs

Not all puppies are adorable
Not all puppies are adorable

The things I do for you people.

Over the past few days I’ve been catching up with the small flood of Youtube videos that have come out that deal with l’affaire Sarkeesian Effect Breakup. The result is that I’ve spent so much time listening to Davis Aurini explain his terrible side of the story that he’s invaded my dreams.

And I mean that literally:  the night before last, I dreamt I ran across a grouchy and dispirited Aurini sitting alone at a table in McDonald’s. When he saw me he declared “don’t even think about trying to sit with me!” As if, dude!

Later in the same dream I was performing improv theater dressed as a hippie, but I doubt you’re interested in hearing more about that, so I’ll keep it confined to my dream diary.

Anyhoo, so I thought I would share a few of the more watchable Sarkeesian Effect videos.

I am aware that not all of you will have the time or inclination to watch all or even any of these videos, so I’m interspersing them with videos of tiny puppies trying to navigate stairs that are bigger than they are. Enjoy!

In this video, am angry Sarkeesian Effect supporter and Reaxxion writer laments that the implosion of the project might (gasp!) lead to Anita Sarkeesian having a good day. Well, her and “all the other SJW shitheads and all their little degenerate fucking beta cuck army of white knight assholes.” Skip ahead to 4:25 for that nugget. I’m tempted to make “Degenerate Beta Cuck Army of White Knight Assholes” t-shirts.

The videomaker later posted a lengthy interview with Aurini. So if you’re into that sort of thing — I don’t judge — you can take a listen. He followed this up with an exasperated and disillusioned third video in which he declared that the Sarkeesian Effect exes look like a couple of “squabbling children.”

Speaking of children, here’s an assortment of dog children — that is, puppies — facing stairs for the first time.

Here, Matt Forney, a leading contender for worst person on the internet, also interviews Aurini at length. The first seven or so minutes of the video, originally streamed live, are derailed by technical difficulties. So if you’ve ever wanted to hear an irritated and incompetent Matt Forney awkwardly try to avoid dead air while repeatedly trying and failing to connect to Davis Aurini on Skype, this is the video for you! (Next time, maybe get your interviewee on the line before going live?)

Here a tiny army of tiny puppies launch a tiny assault on a tiny set of stairs.

Here the clownish far-right pontificator Bernard Chapin suggests that the real lesson here is “never trust a leftist.” Because in his mind the libertarian Jordan Owen is a “leftist.” In other news, night is day and fish are birds.

Here a leftist six-month-old puppy teaches an 8-week-old puppy how to go down stairs.

Here, someone who supports the “messages” of The Sarkeesian Effect blasts both Aurini and Owen, declaring that “neither of you are qualified to do [this] project” and that Aurini is a “pseudointellectual windbag that spews word salad in an attempt to make himself sound sophisticated and intelligent.” As pleasurable as it is to hear a #GamerGater type launch into the two, there’s also some nasty stuff about Sarkeesian and some viciously transphobic crap about Brianna Wu, so be warned.

Here one fearless puppy and one nervous puppy tackle a set of stairs, with the help of an older dog.

Let me finish off with a little poll.

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Hyena Girl
Hyena Girl
9 years ago

None of the above: The prop skulls should complete the film.

ladysunami
ladysunami
9 years ago

One vote for Davis Aurini huh? I wonder who the vote is from.

Bernardo Soares
Bernardo Soares
9 years ago

What the heck? AFAIK, people shouldn’t let puppies walk stairs because of their hips. My family has a house with two steep stairs, and when we bought our first puppy, we were warned in no uncertain terms to carry it for a certain time, because walkin would contribute to dysplasia in later life.

Aurini, on the other hand – I’m thinking of calling the whole story the Sarkeesian Crush Saga – because, well, they seem to be crushing themselves, and Gamergators hate “casual” gamers. Well, maybe they should have been warned about “casual” filmmaking…

ſoǝ Klǝɯɯǝɹ (@JoeKlemmer)

I almost voted for Jordan because he looks like a homeless sterno bum, which reminded me of mu university days, but the poop is infinitely more qualified to make the film.

frances
frances
9 years ago

@Bernardo Soares What? Really? I had no idea.

neoriceisgood
neoriceisgood
9 years ago

Okay hands up, who on earth voted for Aurini?!

theladyzombie
9 years ago

Yeah Jordan Owen is a leftist, but only if you consider privilege blind Ayn Rand worshipers as leftist.

Little know fact – Rand did most of her writing sitting in the bathtub, whining about Anita Sarkeesian and anti-porn feminists.

But I do so love that the second Owen started to have the faintest inkling that his compadres might be a bunch of horrible shitgoblins, they labeled him a leftist.

wordsp1nner
wordsp1nner
9 years ago

When we brought my parents’ oldest cat home, it took her a bit to figure out what stairs were (she was an adult and could maneuver them fine, it just took her a bit to get the concept). So instead, she ended up jumping from the second floor loft onto the couch on the first floor a couple of times.

She doesn’t do that anymore.

Anyway, here are some kittens learning stairs. As you can see, cats are better at stairs than dogs.

Merus
Merus
9 years ago

“In this video, am angry Sarkeesian Effect supporter and Reaxxion writer laments that the implosion of the project might (gasp!) lead to Anita Sarkeesian having a good day.”

Well considering yesterday she spent the day presenting at a feminist conference at the Sydney Opera House it seems like she had a pretty good day. Also, she was on Colbert Report once.

Listen, just keep accusing her of bizarre and nonsensical conspiracies, because it’s working so well this far. You’re definitely not exposing the patriarchal structures of control for all to see.

Miss Andry
9 years ago

This calls for a round of breakup songs. Maybe “Love Hurts”?

hippodameia8527
hippodameia8527
9 years ago

You do a lot for us, David, and we appreciate it all.

childrenofthebroccoli
childrenofthebroccoli
9 years ago

Yay baby animals! It doesn’t surprise me that kittens are better than puppies at stairs; cats are built for climbing, dogs not so much.

Nequam
Nequam
9 years ago

Fuck Matt Forney for stealing art from the genuinely entertaining Basic Instructions webcomic.

Dreadnought
Dreadnought
9 years ago

It’s really starting to irritate me how “SJW” is being tossed around like an insult. What kind of person could ever possibly be against equality? Using “SJW” as an insult makes as much sense as attempting to slight someone because they’re against infanticide.

M.
M.
9 years ago

Well, her and “all the other SJW shitheads and all their little degenerate fucking beta cuck army of white knight assholes.”

This dipshit does know that men can be pro-social justice too, right? Or does he think MLK and Ghandi were women in disguise?

Xanthë
9 years ago

Hi all, I must confess to all here present, that I voted for Aurini – in my opinion, he has the best chance of making the Sarkeesian Effect movie resemble a colossal pile of dog poop. Dog poop unfortunately is inanimate and horrible but incapable of creating a movie, so I had to demur on those grounds; if David had had cute puppies attempting to master stairs as the third option, they would have had my vote. (Even though they too are probably incapable of making films as well.)

The most interesting thing for me about Aurini attempting to release his own edit of the material independently of Owen would be counting the number of attempts to feature his prop skull in the background. So far, that is almost the only thing which might be either surprising or interesting in all of the various Sarkeesian Effect making-of videos. Are people taking a book on whether this turkey (or these turkeys, potentially) actually gets released?

Adam
Adam
9 years ago

I recall hearing something about how “all the SJWs will eat each other!”
Yeah, about that.
Seriously, it seems like these people cannibalize each other for fun.

sparky
sparky
9 years ago

That Aurini-headed dog will haunt my nightmares.

suffrajitsu
suffrajitsu
9 years ago

Happy International Women’s Day, all! Here’s to misandry and the matriarchy ^-^

Didn’t vote because I am *all* for both Aurini and Owen finishing their own Sarkeesian Effect documentaries. Without each other to cancel out their individual worst ideas, we can expect full-on ninja fight scenes and 2 straight hours of ranting in the bathtub.

decourse
decourse
9 years ago

Xanthë has a good point. Aurini has a proven track record in creating insanely stupid videos, and you can’t say that of dog poop.

I still voted for dog poop, and I’m a cat person.

Sarity
Sarity
9 years ago

This breakup ;_; It’s like a wonderful gift that keeps on giving. Needing only to stand back while these turdclowns crumble under the weight of their own awfulness fills me with levels of shadenfreude that tempt an iota of guilt. Almost.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants

It’s really starting to irritate me how “SJW” is being tossed around like an insult.

It’s especially stupid when you consider that the opposite of Social Justice Warrior is Antisocial Injustice Warrior.

Or is that a double negative?

PussyPowerTantrum
PussyPowerTantrum
9 years ago

@M.

Or does he think MLK and Ghandi were women in disguise?

Given the high incidence of racist and other right-wing beliefs in the Manosphere, I’m not sure I want to know what any of them thinks of MLK or any of the great figures in social justice. I mean, when Malala Yousafzai won the Nobel Peace Prize AVFM ran an article saying she was the harbinger of a greater threat than Osama Bin Laden. Fuck these guys.

Xanith
Xanith
9 years ago

So I’ve only listened to the first video so far, but I find it hilarious that he thinks the point of The Sarkeesian Effect and the point of gamergate in general is “the idea that we should be able to have disagreements and discussions as adults.”

But later he says that “maybe he missed something.” Yeah, I think he did miss something…

Aunt Edna
Aunt Edna
9 years ago

LMAO @ Matt Forney, especially his “sincere concern” over Owen’s mental health. The “technical difficulties” (LOL!) are just an icing on the cake.

Forney wouldn’t know mental health if it sat on his ugly face.

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