Win A Date With a Red Pill Douchebag (Plus bonus Taylor Swift/Ninch Inch Nails mashup video)

vbillings I think this “treat women like dirt = success with the ladies” is an myth that guys tell each other. I remember guys in high school telling each other this little trick. It may pay off once in a while with a very insecure woman but I don’t think that happens very often. I wouldn’t even say “pay off” – more like once in a while a woman with low self worth is willing to overlook these insults and incidences of disrespect.

These are the same kinds of twat-waddles who don’t think they owe any other types of people ( PoC, disabled, ) basic human respect because…reasons. And yet, are always crying about how none of these people ever gives them what they want, listens to them, respects them, or allows them have their way. So basically, they just want free stuff, without having to offer anything in return.

They call courtesy, sucking up or kissing ass and that’s just too much effort to get what they want and people should just want to do things for them.

I used to think this way.
When I was twelve.
Then I grew up and learned that sometimes just plain, old, basic courtesy can open a world of doors for you. If you’re courteous and sincerely polite, people will actually be nice to you.

Apparently people like this have never heard the phrase…You can catch more flies with honey, than you can with vinegar. Had he treated her like a queen, she would not now be making videos about what a massive douchweasel he was.

Just Wow!

Fnoicby: I think the key words in your sentence is …High School. I guess you’re right, once such a person has found the proper victim, that’s a tactic that might work, right up until she wakes up and realizes what the Hell he just did.

If that’s the way such men conduct their affairs with women, then it’s no wonder at all that they’re still single. Once their victim has gotten herself all sorted out, it’s all over.

Apparently people like this have never heard the phrase…You can catch more flies with honey, than you can with vinegar.

Oh, they’ve probably heard it. But they’ve also heard that flies are attracted to shit, so they try that first.

dude, you are so wrong about Nine Inch Nails. Also, Reznor seems to be a feminists, so he shouldn’t be associated with these posers.

I was a teenager when the original Hurt came out, and I was angsty as all get out, so I appreciate it. But I think Johnny Cash brought so more depth to it.

And I’m saying that as someone who generally isn’t a fan of country music. Cash is the only one I like.

Then I grew up and learned that sometimes just plain, old, basic courtesy can open a world of doors for you. If you’re courteous and sincerely polite, people will actually be nice to you.

Many weeks after the event, my then girlfriend (now wife) said that the earliest thing that made her seriously think that I might be a keeper was that we were in a restaurant on our second date and the waiter made a mistake, and I apparently dealt with it in a really sweet and understanding way.

I don’t remember this at all, because being nice to waiting staff is completely normal for me, but in her experience it’s apparently not at all unusual for men to be really overtly obnoxious to waiters (even if they’ve done nothing remotely to deserve it), presumably to demonstrate some kind of Assertive Manly Personality in order to really impress the woman that they’re with. I wonder how often this actually works?

vbillings | March 7, 2015 at 11:32 pm

That date was shitty, but I also winced when she said women have to stop supporting that behavior, as if to blame other women for this guy’s behavior. That dude is a douchebag, but it’s not a woman’s fault.

I don’t think she was going for “it’s a woman’s fault”, so much as maybe that she wants women to love themselves more and stop putting up with that because they deserve better? That’s how I took it, though I can understand why you’d feel that way about what she said.

It’s kind of like I saw a video where a woman was telling other women to stop faking orgasms to spare a dude’s feelings in bed because that way he’d get better at sex instead of just doing what he thinks is cool and forgetting all about his partner. Maybe he’d see that she’s not that into it and he’d either leave or try to do better.

In this case, she’s asking women to stop letting this kind of shitty behavior slide by dating this guy and/or “putting out” for him to reward him for his shitty behavior. I think once word gets around that there are enough women out there who aren’t going to put up with PUA bullshit, they’ll get the idea and whine themselves to a life of solitude.

And in the meantime, it helps build up confidence for women who might not have as much to learn when to say “no” to behaviors that make them uncomfortable.

OTOH, there’s always the threat of violence and stalking from men who don’t think “no” is a response that’s okay for them to get, and there’s always that thought in the backs of women’s minds, so, while it sickens me that this has to be a thing, you should always judge the situation first.

Muh. Word salad. Sorry if this came off awkward.

The part when he asks her to go get champagne and she says no, his response was “why? Are you scared?” Or something of that sort and that is just such a major red flag (everything else is too).

^^This. Or any variation on “Don’t worry, I won’t hurt you/I’m not gonna rape you, geez, relax.” It all boils down to “Let me argue and shame you out of your comfort zone so I can get my dick wet, because that’s way more important”. Why would you trust someone who views your well-being as an obstacle to his pleasure?

I get really skeeved out when a guy says something like that, even as a joke. It means he at least has it in his mind that he COULD rape or hurt me. And that’s supposed to be reassuring??

I love my Fedora and I will not give it up because some douchebags use it, too. If someone has bad experience with guys wearing one, that’s totally fine and I understand that (even support it, their choice, not mine), but I am quite sure enough people will be able to see beyond the hat (or below, in that case).

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. PUA tactics are not about the women they are supposedly trying to sleep with. It’s about the men they are trying to win homosocial approval from. It’s about a culture of guys terrified they don’t meet the standards of toxic masculinity because they are nerdy or feel they haven’t had sex enough or once had a passing thought that wasn’t about sports and guns or whatever fear their mind has latched onto who desperately feel they need to do something to fix that and prove to other toxic masculinity worshipping douchebags that they too are manly, well sexed, not gay, not an honorary woman and other categories that are strongly punished in this toxic culture.

So the point isn’t to sleep with a woman. It’s about being seen as being abusive towards her, being above this evil she-creature they blame their failures in masculinity on (because if they were being laid enough and had a woman reinforcing their rugged masculinity with her meek subservience then maybe they wouldn’t be scared all the time that their man-card will be revoked*). Because resistance to perceived femininity is seen as the best way to prove toxic masculinity as its defined as the absence of girlyness.

And this often pairs with fear of showing any vulnerability. Because emotions are girly, because baring your heart and risking rejection is girly, because being uncomfortable in any way is girly, so one is just to bury all that down and once they are all the manly then they will be rewarded with the rewards of manliness (women, consistent support, societal approval) that they believe are handed out to the winners of toxic masculinity. And this leads to these men constantly feeling like they are never manly enough and need to up their game in being shitty to women in the hopes of reaping the eventual reward, not aware that women want nothing to do with what they’ve deemed manly to be and that it fundamentally can’t lead to the fulfilling relationships and freedom from fear they so desperately crave.

And this means they end up constantly trapped and ever more bitter and leads to all manner of conspiracy theory in order to avoid the realization that they’ve wasted a large part of their life on a scam that pushes them farther and farther away from what they really want. Like all the women telling them they don’t like it clearly just being secret misandrists who want to rig the game in their favor, or this insistence in women only caring about wealth, so there’s always an excuse for why they fail (it’s my lack of “enough” money rather than the fact that I’m an unlovable shitheel. Why they believe every man who tells them there are other ways to be manly is really just a slur word that’s only saying that to sleep with women. And why they believe in an entirely fictional dynamic where the mysterious “alpha” is somehow sleeping with every single woman on the planet because of just how much of a success they are in toxic masculinity.

It’s honestly tragic because there isn’t an easy way out for these men because of the law of sunk costs and even more so because they view admitting error as admission of unmanlines which is severely punished by them in their culture.

*And the sad truth is that when they find someone they can batter into that soul-crushing role, they still blame the woman for their failures in toxic masculinity, focusing on those times she dared show humanity or for whatever other supposed “failing that robbed them of their precious and fragile standing in homosocial society (not helped by the fact that toxic masculinity often views being in a relationship at all to be an inherently feminizing action that proves one’s lack of masculinity because they are “whipped”, etc…).

Very well put Cerberus. I have always thought that a lot of men are not interested in sleeping with women at all, no matter how much they brag about it, and your analysis is very convincing. Bravo.