So the fellas on the Men’s Rights subreddit have re-re-re-re-rediscovered the existence of fake pregnancy tests that always have positive results.
Happily, some dude calling himself Stripes1974 has what appears to be a foolproof plan to defeat any evil female who comes to him with one of these fake tests:
Many of the women who would do this, are being manipulative and intending to use such a falacy, such a falsehood, in order to try and maintain a sense of power in the relationships they are a part of.
I’d offer this potential “counter” to such a type of women– though I would say that this may not work with every woman of this type- judge carefully if it is something you should do:
Hey, I said it was ALMOST foolproof.
“Oh. Oh.
Oh! Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh! You’re pregnant? You’re really pregnant?”
Dance, make lots of excited and pleased noises. Run around. “Oh my gosh! You’re really pregnant? I mean, really? Wait! I have to call my parents, and tell them the good news!”Yes, make sure to tell as many people as you can think of that she is pregnant. When she later tries to explain how she was dishonest, her manipulations will be exposed, and she won’t come away seeming all that wonderful a person to have lied this way.
You can probably already see how diabolically clever this plan is.
“I can’t believe it! All this time, I didn’t realize it was this easy! Oh! Now we have to start saving our money so we can buy our baby the best! We’ll have to cancel that get-a-way we were planning! We have to save for the baby!”
Having easy access to money/funds taken from her, and then obsessively watched over, in support of her lie, will make her unhappy and uncomfortable.
Wait, you’re supposed to be paying your girlfriend for being your girlfriend? Uh oh. I think I’ve been doing it wrong.
“Oh! And from now on, you have to stay at home! No, you can’t go out to the club for girls’ night- you’re supporting two people now, and you have to sit and save your fragile self so the baby can be healthy!”
Stripping her of her freedom to govern her own movements within and without of the home, will grate on her nerves.
Yeah, it probably would, huh? Too bad that’s the rule. Once you are pregnant, you are not allowed to stand up, much less leave the house, until at least one actual baby comes out of your body. (And it has to be a baby. Extra large poops don’t count.)
What generally will happen, in this sudden and overwhelming blitzkrieg of support towards a pregnancy that doesn’t exist, is that at some point, sooner rather than later, the woman in question will crack, and she will vehemently deny that she is pregnant, and likely will admit that she lied/purchased a positive test, when she is in fact not pregnant. This will provide an opening for an “emotional” display by the male half of this relationship:
“What do you mean, you lied! What do you mean, I don’t really have a son on the way!?” -complete with tears and heart-wrenching warbles in the voice
and will allow him to bring this very fucked-up relationship to its bitter and thankful end.
Huh. Well, far be it from me to question such a brilliant plan from someone who obviously understands women so well, but I’m just wondering: what happens if she’s actually pregnant? I know it might seem a bit unlikely, but I have heard rumors that sometimes women use real pregnancy tests to see if they are really pregnant, and some of the time they really are.
Ah, who am I kidding? Like that ever happens.
Or, he could purchase another test for her to take, just to make sure? Or offer to go with her to the doctor to get it confirmed? Or, just not be an almighty shitstain and go assuming that his imaginary girlfriend would pretend to be pregnant for no particular reason?
They would probably do all the same things if she was really pregnant.
“Or, just not be an almighty shitstain”
Well, he IS an MRA, so that’s a bit unfair to ask of him.
These things are awful for about fifty different reasons, but… How do the Amazon reviews about men “Pranking” their wives gel with their FEEEMALE MANIPULATION!!! histrionics?
I love how these guys are so scared of some gold-digging whore trapping him with a baby that they do these mental gymnastics, yet a vasectomy is out of the question.
Vasectomies are no small ordeal, especially if you’re the person getting one, but isn’t it better than living with that level of paranoia? You’d think that their quality of life would significantly improve.
Also, even granting the hypothetical of a woman using a fake positive pregnancy test to… whatever the hell he thinks that would accomplish – does this guy know nothing about pregnancy or biology?
It’s not like anyone ever becomes spontaneously not-pregnant, right? Ha ha, what a ridiculous concept! Let’s give this ridiculous hypothetical spontaneous un-pregnancy an equally ridiculous name, like, hm, how about a schmiscarriage. Now even if such a thing as schmiscarriage were possible, there’d be no way to fake it! It’s not like there’s a – what’s the word I’m looking for? regular? cyclical? – biological event that is practically indistinguishable from an extremely early term schmiscarriage.
No, surely the scheming woman would crack under the strain of smothering and outright admit that she had lied! Surely there is no way that she could just hold out for that one in a million chance of spontaneously having some kind of bloody discharge that she could pass off as a schmiscarriage.
That would just be silly.
I like (and by that I mean don’t like) how he suggests they strip women of all their freedoms, as if that’s something he is perfectly within his rights and has the power to do. This, here, is the problem.
But anyways, does this happen? I mean what exactly is the endgame of saying you’re pregnant when you’re not? Eventually he would notice there’s no baby, sooooo. ..I’m confused.
Is this something that people do very often? Pretend to be pregnant? I mean, other than as some sort of ill advised April Fool’s joke? Enough that Mr Stripes1974 (who is, guessing by his name, 40 years old so probably not even dating anyone immature enough to do such a thing) had to construct an elaborate revenge plan for when it happens to him?
Why isn’t “support” written with scare quotes? Does he honestly think this is what real support looks like, or think a woman wouldn’t immediately pick up on the deluge of overreactive sarcasm? Here’s what would actually happen.
*breathes* “Honey, I have some… amazing news. I’m pregnant.”
“Oh. Oh. Oh! Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh! You’re pregnant? You’re really pregnant?”
*dances*
“Oh my gosh! You’re really pregnant? I mean, really? Wait! I have to call my parents, and tell them the good news!”
“I know! Ha ha, wow.”
“I can’t believe it! All this time, I didn’t realize it was this easy!”
(“easy?”)
“Oh! Now we have to start saving our money so we can buy our baby the best! We’ll have to cancel that get-a-way we were planning! We have to save for the baby!”
“Yeah, I suppose you’re ri…”
“Oh! And from now on, you have to stay at home! No, you can’t go out to the club for girls’ night- you’re supporting two people now, and you have to sit and save your fragile self so the baby can be healthy!”
“Wait, what? Fragile?”
“Yup, no more parties for you! Just sitting at home, on the couch, for 10 months. In fact, why are you standing up now? Here, come sit down so you don’t over-exert yourself. Oh gosh, this is so exciting, you’re pregnant! I have to go call everyone!” *runs out*
(“I never knew he was such an asshole.”)
What happens next is that she is actually pregnant, but whether she chooses to keep it or not, her next move will be as far away from you as possible.
And then you look at the pregnancy test and find out it isn’t fake. Then you curse the slur out for stealing your child away from you.
“You’re pregnant? That means I own you now. No leaving the house. No friends.”
*Anguishing abortion decision to be as far from this control freak as possible*
“YOU WERE MAKING IT UP YOU WHORE! I’m gonna post you on RooshV’s site.”
Or you know, natural, early cycle miscarriage happens: same “You whore” speech.
I can see why “be as annoying as possible” is an alluring “plan” for someone who already does that all that the time…
@Fnoicby:
Bingo.
Maybe it’s to stop him from committing seppuku by the river after losing a bread-baking tournament to her when he viewed it as his last chance to prove himself worthy as a baker and a man?
…
This… probably needs some context… Actually, I don’t think even the context is enough.
If you’re convinced they’re lying about the pregnancy, and you plan to dump them when they eventually come clean about it…why not dump them instead of the whole charade and save yourself a bunch of time? Especially if you’re not gonna let her work, that means you’d be stuck supporting her untill you eventually dump her, so you’re wasting your time and money just to be a…vindictive…jerk…oh. I guess it makes perfect MRA sense after all.
“and will allow him to bring this very fucked-up relationship to its bitter and thankful end.”
That’s one thing I agree with this guy on, any relationship with him is likely to be very fucked-up indeed.
This guy seems to be unaware of the number of spontaneous miscarriages women have.
Women often lose the baby in the first trimester for no obvious reason – which is most people don’t tell friends and family about the pregnancy until the first trimester is over. It would be very easy for a woman to lie about being pregnant, and then claim to have lost the baby.
My point is that this plan is full of holes, so much so that I wonder how familiar the author is with “actual” women and “actual” pregnancy, and as a result, where do his ideas about women and pregnancy actually come from?
I don’t think anyone genuinely has to worry that women are targeting these guys for marriage…
Does this guy not understand that unless it’s a very high risk pregnancy, pregnant women aren’t invalids? Pregnant women can actually go to a club and dance with their friends.
I hope he never actually impregnates anyone. If this is what he thinks being supportive is, it’s a giant red flag. It sounds abusive and controlling to me.
@WWTH Remember that these guys think women are just fleshy incubators and warm holes. Remember that they don’t actually care what a woman wants for herself as long as they get to have the upper hand in something.
It’s hard to tell from the picture, but I kinda suspect that the prank pregnancy test is pretty much impossible to mistake for a real pregnancy test. In which case, asshole is just making up scenarios that can never happen purely for the sake of abusing the imaginary women in them.
Repeated punches and kicks to the stomach? Coathangers as baby shower gifts?
Where the hell do these shitsticks get the idea that women do this sort of thing happens with such regularity that they need a plan to handle it when it inevitably happens? It’s almost as if they have no fucking clue what real women or relationships are like and only have harrowing tales from internet assholes who also hate women even though they know exactly jackshit about them so they just made up stories to justify their irrational hatred and fear.
@cretaceouskitteh78, I think you’re onto something…
Mojo Jojo and reality have clearly never been introduced.
Supposedly there were women on the last military installation I lived on selling pos. tests. I heard about it thru the army-wife grapevine (always accompanied by loads of outrage) so don’t know if it was true or just a bit of urban legendry intended to make us lowly hausfraus feel better than THEM… y’know, whoever THEY are.
Not sure what the end goal is supposed to be for the buyers– coax a shotgun courthouse wedding out of some poor joe before his next deployment? I could kind of see that, I guess. I can’t think of any other real circumstance in which a woman would really get anything out of that. Even the dinkiest wedding ceremony requires enough planning time for the scheme to fail before it gets off the ground…
and if someone’s hoping for the sweet, SWEET child support monies, you have to produce an actual child, which is a drag. So ?
1. get fake preggo test
2. ?
3. PROFIT
Yeah, odds that someone takes advice here by being an abusive prick to an ACTUALLY PREGNANT partner > odds that someone will take advice here and one-up his partner’s half-baked manipulative tactic.
Cue angry bewilderment about why is relationship with ex and kid so messed up?!
MISANDRY
Stripes1974 needs to be put in comma prison.
@seraph4377 “It’s hard to tell from the picture, but I kinda suspect that the prank pregnancy test is pretty much impossible to mistake for a real pregnancy test.”
From what I’ve seen of the MRM I could easily imagine them being duped by an obviously fake pregnancy test.