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How to defeat evil females bearing fake positive pregnancy tests

Handy tool for fooling hapless men. Or if you just like peeing on things.
Handy tool for fooling hapless men. Or if you just like peeing on things.

So the fellas on the Men’s Rights subreddit have re-re-re-re-rediscovered the existence of  fake pregnancy tests that always have positive results.

Happily, some dude calling himself Stripes1974 has what appears to be a foolproof plan to defeat any evil female who comes to him with one of these fake tests:

Many of the women who would do this, are being manipulative and intending to use such a falacy, such a falsehood, in order to try and maintain a sense of power in the relationships they are a part of.

I’d offer this potential “counter” to such a type of women– though I would say that this may not work with every woman of this type- judge carefully if it is something you should do:

Hey, I said it was ALMOST foolproof.

“Oh. Oh.
Oh! Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh! You’re pregnant? You’re really pregnant?”
Dance, make lots of excited and pleased noises. Run around. “Oh my gosh! You’re really pregnant? I mean, really? Wait! I have to call my parents, and tell them the good news!”

Yes, make sure to tell as many people as you can think of that she is pregnant. When she later tries to explain how she was dishonest, her manipulations will be exposed, and she won’t come away seeming all that wonderful a person to have lied this way.

You can probably already see how diabolically clever this plan is.

“I can’t believe it! All this time, I didn’t realize it was this easy! Oh! Now we have to start saving our money so we can buy our baby the best! We’ll have to cancel that get-a-way we were planning! We have to save for the baby!”

Having easy access to money/funds taken from her, and then obsessively watched over, in support of her lie, will make her unhappy and uncomfortable.

Wait, you’re supposed to be paying your girlfriend for being your girlfriend? Uh oh. I think I’ve been doing it wrong.

“Oh! And from now on, you have to stay at home! No, you can’t go out to the club for girls’ night- you’re supporting two people now, and you have to sit and save your fragile self so the baby can be healthy!”

Stripping her of her freedom to govern her own movements within and without of the home, will grate on her nerves.

Yeah, it probably would, huh? Too bad that’s the rule. Once you are pregnant, you are not allowed to stand up, much less leave the house, until at least one actual baby comes out of your body. (And it has to be a baby. Extra large poops don’t count.)

What generally will happen, in this sudden and overwhelming blitzkrieg of support towards a pregnancy that doesn’t exist, is that at some point, sooner rather than later, the woman in question will crack, and she will vehemently deny that she is pregnant, and likely will admit that she lied/purchased a positive test, when she is in fact not pregnant. This will provide an opening for an “emotional” display by the male half of this relationship:

“What do you mean, you lied! What do you mean, I don’t really have a son on the way!?” -complete with tears and heart-wrenching warbles in the voice

and will allow him to bring this very fucked-up relationship to its bitter and thankful end.

Huh. Well, far be it from me to question such a brilliant plan from someone who obviously understands women so well, but I’m just wondering: what happens if she’s actually pregnant? I know it might seem a bit unlikely, but I have heard rumors that sometimes women use real pregnancy tests to see if they are really pregnant, and some of the time they really are.

Ah, who am I kidding? Like that ever happens.

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NicolaLuna
NicolaLuna
5 years ago

On the subject of pregnant women being invalids – when I was pregnant with my second son I used to bike to work with my 2 year old first son in a bike trailer. I went on maternity leave the day I went into labour.

I also built the cot and other baby stuff because I was a single mum from the moment I announced my pregnancy and if I didn’t do it then it wouldn’t get done.

You can do any exercise you used to do until the 3rd trimester. I pole danced until I was 5 months pregnant. And my birth was a hell of a lot quicker and easier than my first birth where I’d bought into the whole “fragile” thing.

This guy seems to have a very bizarre idea of pregnancy. I don’t know why that surprises me coming from an mra. I always get the impression that they’ve never met a woman.

suffrajitsu
suffrajitsu
5 years ago

Re: China cuz it’s the place of my heritage: traditional Chinese culture’s an interesting example of patriarchy because, compared to the U.S./Europe and India, it was pretty much upfront about the fact that the system sucked for women. It didn’t try to claim women were “protected” or that gender roles were for the women’s own good, though Confucianism theoretically was similar to Western-style paternalism, China mostly pretty much said outright that the world sucked for women but too bad. Now, China is also the biggest example I can think of of a society that has actually had a mainstream, *mass* movement to transform gender roles (improving women’s rights was one of the early values of the Communist Revolution), but traditional views are still pervasive–the term for unmarried women is sheng nu, which means “leftover women”.

I’m pretty interested to see how the state of gender equality will change in the next generation in China. I’ve seen articles suggesting that the one-child policy and skewed gender ratio may mean that the girls who aren’t aborted as female fetuses may end up with more advantages and opportunities than they would have–because they’re only allowed one child, many parents are giving their daughters more education, and the gender imbalance will probably mean more choice in marriages and less pressure to settle for women. Of course, the very reason for the ratio is pretty indicative of massive sexism, but it’ll be an interesting thing to see how this might play out, especially with China’s much-touted increase in economic power and globalization.

NicolaLuna
NicolaLuna
5 years ago

@GrumpyOldMangina

That story is really sad. I think it’s brave to be open about it. In a way I suppose you were both vulnerable, you were only a kid really.

Hope you don’t mind me prying but, did you feel bad for pressuring her at the time or did that come from maturing and thinking about it?

Her marriage definitely shows what low self esteem and disempowerment can lead to. I hope she manages to leave him.

lith
lith
5 years ago

@GOM:

I admire your honesty, I hope I can be as honest myself.

LBT
LBT
5 years ago

RE: NicolaLuna

I hope she manages to leave him.

Same. The worst part of abuse, in my opinion, is that it leads you to believe you deserve it, and that there is no other option. It’s a horrible place to be in, and I never want to be there again.

mrex
mrex
5 years ago

I’ve heard different experts say abusive women will use a fake pregnancy to manipulate men and then “miscarry” after she’s gotten what she wanted in the short term out of him. But the pregnancy announcement is often made quickly public by her because the goal is to use social pressure to manipulate the guy into doing what she wants.

Or, let’s look at it this way. Why would telling others bother the woman? Who would doubt a woman who said she miscarried when it’s normal for a third of all known pregnancies to miscarry within the first 12 weeks? Telling others about the fake pregnancy is just going to help HER. Brilliant plan, bro.

Of course, his whole elaborate plan is just so he can have an excuse to end the relationship. Why do some men seem to feel they need social permission to end relationships? Unhappy? Get out. No need to passive aggressively piss on the relationship until she leaves you so you can look like the “good guy”.

The whole thing about “testing” men with a fake pregnancy test is pretty sad. There’s a pretty simple solution to this; don’t commit to someone until they have commited to you. Don’t move in with zir. Don’t change your life around for zir. Don’t act like you’re commited until you actually have a commitment in both words AND actions!

This problem only exists because society encourages the girlfriend to sacrifice like she’s his wife long before the guy even starts thinking about commitment, and then has the gall to wonder why he’s “dragging his feet”. Gee, I wonder.

marci
5 years ago

The first thing I thought when I saw one of these is a teen playing a prank on their parents. Maybe a bit in poor taste, but I can see how it could be funny. It’s telling that these guys immediately jump to sociopathic manipulation being the most prevalent use for this gag. I mean it’s what they want to do to women all the time, so they have to believe that all women are just as horrible as they are.

Sarah
Sarah
5 years ago

See, that kind of rhetoric really stings for me because I was ditched before I was even born by my biological father simply because I was a feeeemale. Apparently, he wanted a first born son to pass on his family name.

“The family name” and all that bullshit around the wife taking the husband’s name and the children following. WTF, society?

Catfish
Catfish
5 years ago

I can see his method backfiring pretty spectacularily, if this eeeevil feeeemale just does the reational responce and later comes back crying, explaining to everyone that
1. she had a rare but possible false positive on her test or
2. she had an early miscarriage, and lost the child.

And then just watch the sympathy roll in B)

(But srsly, nobody should do any of these things, lying is an ugly thing.)

Catfish
Catfish
5 years ago

@NicolaLuna

Indeed, if pregnancy really made women as useless as the general consensus seems to be, prehistoric human would not have survived. Of course there are lots of pregnant people whose pregnancies are just awful, but historically they often just had to deal with it. (Or they died, and I suppose it is possible that one’s bodily reactions to pregnancies might be somewhat hereditary, so once pre-natal care and medicine in general improved, such people stopped dying quite as frequently…)

Though humans have also always been a social species so pregnant individuals had a family unit, if not an entire tribe, to help them through pregnancy, birth and childcare. So really, it’s likely they still contributed to what ever they could.

And no, the rigid gender roles of the stereotypical caveman did not really exist in such form. Hell, they haven’t even been as rigid historically almost anywhere – not to mention how gender roles vary between areas. Also the thing about prostitution being the oldest profession is also bunk – midwives likely existed before that. All though “whoring” in various forms does happen within some primate societies – but it can’t be really considered a profession in such cases 😀

Catfish
Catfish
5 years ago

Ps. I’m sure that people who buy into fragile state – things might just in general be less mobile etc, which certainly contributes to their late-term physical condition.

crazy_liebling
crazy_liebling
4 years ago

No one noticed he’s expecting a boy as status quo.
I was like more offended by that one, than his whole tricky trick…