So over on Roosh Valizadeh’s terrible, horrible, no good, very bad Return of Kings blog a gentleman named Blair Naso has penned a weird paean to Barbie (the doll, not the Nazi war criminal), suggesting that she is a perfect “inspiration” for girls today.
I suppose it isn’t all that shocking that the kind of men who frequent Return of Kings would be fond of an imaginary woman who doesn’t talk and can’t defend herself.
Naso starts off his post by ridiculing feminists for criticizing Barbie. In his mind, they’re just jealous:
For feminists, what bothers them is that Barbie is beautiful. Feminism is an ugly ideology that overtly seeks to glorify both inner and outer ugliness. …To them, Barbie represents a vile standard of beauty.
In Naso’s mind, Barbie is both a Nietzschean Übermensch (no, really) and the embodiment of a Greek goddess.
Barbie is an over-man to little girls. She transcends reality and inspires admiration. Like Theseus for the ancients and Batman for today’s boys, Barbie goes beyond what a normal person can do. Barbie is not a standard; she is an ideal. She inspires aspiration, not imitation. Barbie is the modern Aphrodite.
Here’s a famous statue of Aphrodite from back in the day. Despite being, you know, a literal goddess, her proportions are a bit more human than Barbie’s.
Naso really seems to have a thing for Barbie:
If characters like Indiana Jones are the apex of masculinity, then Barbie is the same for femininity. She is beautiful, intelligent, domestic, social, gorgeous, hard-working, wealthy, attractive, outgoing, healthy, confident, pretty, talented, lovely, has great tits and hair, accomplished, alluring, charming, elegant, unblemished, graceful, and committed to only one man.
Apparently Naso, like Barbie herself, hasn’t caught on to the blindingly obvious fact that Ken is gay. Also, what about Allan, Brad, Curtis, Todd, Steven, Darren, Derek, Kurt and Ryan? Everyone knows that Barbie is riding the smooth flat crotch area carousel.
As Naso sees it, it’s men, not women, who are the real victims of our “fascist beauty standards.”
Men have to grow muscle, which is a journey that is painful, expensive, and filled with misinformation. And if he’s under six feet tall, his chances with women are drastically cut no matter what his other characteristics.
Women on the other hand have to buy an exercise video and keep their hair long. I suppose make-up can be time-consuming, but fashion is not nearly as expensive as women like to claim.
And if some women develop eating disorders trying to live up to the beauty ideal, well, they have no one but their own inferior female selves to blame.
It would be both mentally and physically unhealthy for a man to obsess about achieving the impossible body of Beowulf. So if Barbie and Aphrodite inspire women to turn to unhealthy practices (like eating disorders or fad diets) in a way that He-man doesn’t to men, then what does that say about women?
Either it is a lie that strict beauty standards cause women to obsess at the risk of their own health, or it is manifest that women are mentally and emotionally inferior to men.
Anyone who really wants to be a hottie needs to work for it.
Both anorexia and fat pride are shortcut cheats to beauty. Mature adults achieve what they want through hard work.
Naso does acknowledge that beauty standards are more “stringent” today. In a spectacularly ludicrous leap of logic — the intellectual equivalent of Evel Knievel’s famously failed jump over the Snake River canyon — he blames this on … ugly women.
My guess why beauty standards are a little more demanding today than they were 100 years ago is because today women are ugly. They are overweight, they have bad hair, they lack social grace, and they think hideous products are fashionable by sole virtue of their popularity. Women and little girls know this instinctually and over-correct through their fantasies.
Perhaps little girls love Barbie and Ariel so much because they see how frumpy mommy and their teachers at school are.
And it is the evil feminists who are keeping these little girls from living out their over-corrected fantasies dreams.
Women just want to be beautiful and have a beautiful life. Barbie gives them the inspiration to achieve their dreams. Then feminism sweeps along and tells them to remain stagnant.
In case anyone here needs inspiration, this song should help.
Women’s fashion isn’t that expensive? Want to buy my bras for me Naso? If they aren’t thst expensive it shouldn’t be a problem.
ROK needs to shut the fuck up about eating disorders forever. Or better yet, just shut the fuck up entirely.
Though I do find it amusing that this guy is more obsessed with barbie than most five year old girls I’ve met. Tbh, I think the’ve been marketing their dolls to the wrong demographic.
I know this is such a lazy, generic comment to use when discussing these clowns, but… this is some Poe’s Law shit right here.
I am more certain than ever that these “Men’s Rights Activists” and “Pick-Up Artists” are actually a scout force of an alien race who reproduce asexually via splitting in two.
I hope Mattel doesn’t find out about this, though, or we might get Barbie “bronies”… and I’m sure nobody wants that!
Douchebags’ subculture has expensive tastes, I suppose women’s fashion isn’t expensive when you buy >300$ shoes yourself.
@Octo
“I hope Mattel doesn’t find out about this, though, or we might get Barbie “bronies”… and I’m sure nobody wants that!”
Who say’s they haven’t? College Humor says otherwise… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t6023crXgIQ
😀
(I don’t know how to imbed videos)
Best line of the day.
Also, for those who want to see a feminist take on Barbie, Denise Duhamel’s poetry collection, Kinky, is a must. I expect Naso the Nauseous would probably die of shock to see a feminist poet dissect the absurdity of a plastic-doll beauty ideal with wit and humor. Perhaps we should send him a copy?
Modern women aren’t any uglier than women in the past. It’s just that then, as now, only beautiful women were considered worthy of representation, so their images have survived, while the plainer majority have been forgotten.
If Barbie were as tall as an actual human (but much thinner), and if she could talk (but wouldn’t be allowed to speak), she could definitely hook up with all these PUA dudes (but she wouldn’t wanna). So I guess that solves nothing.
I love that the effort men go through to bulk up is physically demanding, but women transforming themselves into a form that is quite literally physically impossible? Meh, simple.
Also, their “ideal woman” has no genitals. I’ll leave the symbolism of that to the reader.
He thinks I hate Barbie because she’s too hot? No. I hated Barbie when I was a little kid because she was nowhere near as cool as the teenage mutant ninja turtle action figures I’d *actually* asked Santa for. (Fuck you, Santa) … The only fun game I could play with Barbie was seeing how high I could get her stuck in a tree and then climbing the tree to get her back.
Also, Barbie’s got nothing on me. I have hair dyed like a rainbow, I’m covered in some beautiful tattoos and I rarely stop smiling these days even though I grew up hating my smile.
But I’m sure if he’s willing to pay for it, he can get a realdoll that looks just like Barbie.
Anyone else amused by how he doesn’t mention the most common argument used by Mattel to deflect accusations of sexism, the Career Barbies. (No, I don’t really buy it–no pun intended–but I gotta say, I did think it was fun and timely how this year it’s apparently Director Barbie.) But even more than the sexism, I think I’m just startled by how *weird* this thing is. RoK is weirdly invested in keeping narrow and outdated models of femininity alive but seriously, a grown man took the time to write this thing? (Not bashing adult male doll collectors, just random men with no reason to care besides aforementioned clinging to outdated models of femininity)
No one’s bashing a plastic doll cuz they’re “jealous.” Marilyn Monroe, Audrey Hepburn, Beyonce, Jennifer Lawrence, Emma Watson are all beautiful, talented, successful women that I think might even have more *female* fans than male. Compare that to your Nice Guys screaming about evil dumb jock Alphas and how unfair it is that some men might be considered more conventionally attractive than them.
Also, I love that the example RoK used as a classic paragon of their definition of perfect womanhood is…Aphrodite. A goddess who regularly cheated on her disabled ugly beta male husband Hephaestus with the cock carousel of such handsome and virile alphas as Ares, Hermes, and literal Adonis.
Ugh gross, first and foremost.
Also, the Barbie-as-idol thing recently came up from a feminist I follow, and I was feeling conflicted about being upset that she was all rah-rah-Barbie-yay. This post makes me feel less conflicted about that upset.
And to be fair, per garment, mens clothes are more expensive if we are talking about a high-end suit. But not every guy is expected to have a different suit for every day of the month in the same way women are expected to have a different outfit all the time. And by and large, everyday-wear mens clothes are insanely cheap compared to women’s clothes–even more so if you happen to be a plus-sized lady like myself.
“So if Barbie and Aphrodite inspire women to turn to unhealthy practices (like eating disorders or fad diets) in a way that He-man doesn’t to men, then what does that say about women?”
Never mind how quickly eating disorders and body dysmorphia are rising for men… Let’s see what this asshole has to say when men have reached insecurity-pairty with women.
I tell you, nothing is going to turn around in terms of beauty standards until men have hit the same level as women. Until that happens, these guys can complain men have it worse all they want–they haven’t see anything yet.
I give it 50 years tops before makeup becomes gender neutral. Men may face some pressure to be muscular now (although there are myriad examples of men in media living fulfilling lives with beautiful spouses despite being overweight, and that’s just in cartoons), but their faces are still allowed to be covered in lines, with uneven tone, their body hair has only just begun to be critiqued, and buzz cuts are still acceptable for heterosexual men.
And that’s not even considering the fact that, although many women may not consider non muscular men under 6 feet attractive, that certainly hasn’t stopped such men from getting dates, both in real life and on TV. Which is more than can be said for women considered unattractive.
Can I borrow anyone’s furrinati?
My eyeballs seem to have rolled themselves right out of my head and under my office desk, and I could use some help retrieving them.
Karalora: I could be wrong, but I’d actually imagine modern women as a whole would be *more* attractive than women of the past, since health and hygiene have improved so much.
Wow. This is just so much wrong.
But, of course, women don’t do anything that’s painful or expensive to live up to the beauty standard, and of course there is no misinformation aimed at women. Men under six feet tall never get dates. Ever. It are a fact.
And with this paragraph he reveals he knows absolutely nothing about women’s beauty regimes. Just the long hair alone requires time and money to be able to maintain it.
You know, this bit is the most asinine. In the same piece he goes on to call women “frumpy” and fat, and that this makes women ugly. Women are constantly told that the only value they have, that their most important attribute, is physical beauty. It doesn’t matter how intelligent or talented or kind you are, if you don’t fit into a narrow beauty ideal, you’re not worth anything. This guy is embodying that attitude. He calls women weak for trying to live up to an impossible standard and in the same breath laments that there are beauty standards for men, and that that makes things tough for men.
So he compares Barbie – who is defined as a character by her beauty and fashion – to Batman and Indiana Jones*, who are defined by their actual personalities and actions. How can he not see the huge amount inherent sexism in that gigantic difference in role models for young boys versus those for young girls?
*And the last good Indiana Jones movie was 25 years ago, so that reference is just a bit outdated.
Interesting that he should compare Barbie to Indiana Jones and Batman. Barbie’s proportions are literally impossible to achieve. Indiana Jones was played by Harrison Ford, an actor who many would consider handsome but is not an Adonis. Batman has been played by Michael Keaton who is average looking and under six feet tall. Christian Bale and Val Kilmer are exactly six feet.
Here’s a list of male celebrities who are under six feet tall. Many are considered attractive and a couple, such as Jason Statham and Tom Cruise have played action heros. http://www.imdb.com/list/ls006698054/
Ummmm… steroids? Also, not only are there men with eating disorders, the number of men with eating disorders is on the rise. So what does that say about men?
(What does it say about men? That they are as human as women and as susceptible to the bullcrap that tells them how they should look.)
The problem with Barbie *as a toy* is that she doesn’t do anything. She doesn’t move her limbs or roll her eyes. She doesn’t squeak. She’s boring and hard to dress–all that unmoving hard plastic. So you can’t even have much fun with barbie’s wardrobe. She’s a weird size, one that prevents interchanging her clothes with most other dolls, and you can’t even do much with her hair, seeing how small she is. Altogether an unsatisfactory toy.
THIS is the pinnacle of feminity?
Lol at the notion that anorexia is an easy way to get thin. The human body requires food to live. Starving yourself is very difficult to do. Anorexic obsess about food. Many horde food and recipes. Quite often, their bodies make them eat and they wind up bingeing.
It also cracks me up that he thinks a little exercise will result in a slender body. I was an athlete growing up and was in great shape. But when puberty arrived I gained a lot of weight and went from skinny to voluptuous over night. My body wants to be curvy and I have to practice disordered eating to get thin.
It’s concerning and pretty telling that this guy is unaware of the growing number of men with eating disorders, caused precisely because of all the hulked-up men we see on our various screens. Body shame and eating disorders can happen to any gender, and they’re not any less of a problem when men get them.
Also seconding suffrajitsu’s comment about Aphrodite being everything these men seem to fear. (Unless they think they could get with her? I mean, they do throw tantrums at about the same rate as Ares.)
@Tabbylavalamp
“Ummmm… steroids? Also, not only are there men with eating disorders, the number of men with eating disorders is on the rise. So what does that say about men?
(What does it say about men? That they are as human as women and as susceptible to the bullcrap that tells them how they should look.)”
Not to mention the sort of crap attitude ROK has is exactly the sort of thing that makes it difficult for men who suffer from these things to get treatment. Not only do they have to work through something pretty hellish by it’s own right, and deal with the shame associated with those things felt by both genders, they also have to be told that what they suffer from is a “girl
s disease.” For men raised in a culture of toxic masculinity, that’s sort of thing that stops them for seeking the help and treatment that they desperately need.