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Pat Robertson warns women: If you put ultrasound pics on Facebook, witches may curse your unborn child!

horror_rosemarys_baby

Sometimes I forget that there are other people in the world who say things as bizarrely retrograde as the douchebags I write about here.

Case in point: televangelist and veteran sayer-of-bizarrely-retrograde-things Pat Robertson. On The 700 Club Monday, Right Wing Watch reports,  Robertson answered a question from a woman who was worried, for some reason, about her daughter posting ultrasound pics on Facebook.

The kindly old preacher offered her yet another reason to worry:

I tell you, there are demons and there are evil people in the world, and you post a picture like that and some cultist gets hold of it or a coven and they begin muttering curses against an unborn child. You never know what somebody’s going to do.
You never know.

Also, you should probably worry if your pregnant daughter develops an external womb.This is a sign that she may be breeding a small army of murderous rage-babies (see below), at least if this documentary by David Cronenberg is any guide.

Children can be so much work!
Children can be so much work!
NOTE: The Cronenberg movie is not actually a documentary. Also, covens of witches are not going to curse your fetus using Facebook.

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ParadoxicalIntention
6 years ago

@M: Some people don’t know what satire or sarcasm is, unfortunately.

Robert
Robert
6 years ago

Kirbywarp – the people willing to believe this malarkey are also capable of believing that Satan is somehow lord of this world. Everyone who does not believe as they do is an unwitting tool of Hell – unless they’re a witting tool. As opposed to a whittering fool like Robertson.

I am grateful to have never had an ultrasound posted to my Facebook page. Not quite sure how to say, ‘Wow, that is certainly a fetus! Good work,’ without snark. I’m sure there are perfectly sound reasons for it, but every human being on the planet is the result of somebody procreating. Maybe it’s that I haven’t ever wanted to do it myself, but some (SOME) people carry on like they just created the Kwisatz Haderach. There’s a site called STFU Parents that collects examples of parental oversharing , which can be simultaneously amusing and horrifying.

ParadoxicalIntention
6 years ago

Ah, wombs…Natures’ very own organic 3D printer. It’s amazing (and terrifying) to me how babies are born. Mostly terrifying, like something out of a horror movie, but still amazing.

Also, yeah on the parental oversharing, Robert. I’ve never had it happen to me personally, but some parents are really, really into their kids. Nothing too wrong with that, but there’s boundaries that can be crossed.

ParadoxicalIntention
6 years ago

So, I just got sent this by a friend of mine:

http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/real-life/us-republican-official-christina-bond-fatally-shot-herself-as-she-adjusted-her-bra-holster/story-fnq2oad4-1227225011190

Not sure how I should feel about this, but I know facepalming at least once should be involved.

proxieme
proxieme
6 years ago

^ That’s why I straight-up ask new FB friends, “Which group do you want to be in? There’s the one that sees normal prox and one that sees that + ONE BILLION photos of children.”

I’ve embraced the Mom-Beast, but that doesn’t mean that I think everyone has to 😉

samantha
6 years ago
Reply to  suffrajitsu

Knowing Robertson, I’m pretty sure by “witches,” he means “feminists.” (Or “lesbians.”)

Yes, but I am pretty sure he also means any woman who will not give herself to Jesus.

Me, I prefer Isis, Astarte, Diana, Hecate
Demeter, Kali…Inanna

Woo!

potterchik
potterchik
6 years ago

How did witches curse people before there was Facebook?

Lisa C (@hppykittystudio)

Katz-agreed….and have a little more funny while we’re at it!
http://www.opposingviews.com/i/society/gaming-journalist-fights-back-against-rape-threats-contacting-mothers

After reading about Roosh, this made my day.

fromafar2013
fromafar2013
6 years ago

How did witches curse people before there was Facebook?

Strongly worded letters sent anonymously via postal service. And yelling. Sometimes there was yelling. Candles and thinking angry thoughts were also sometimes involved. Not required though.

FEAR ME!!!!!!1! *more maniacal cackling*

samantha
6 years ago

It is really marvelous to see so many witchy folk here! I have been a solitary for most of my life, so my contact with covens has been infrequent, and only women.

My family – husband and kids – has always been supportive and accepting. While not specifically witches, they do tend towards the pagan/Taoist/Buddhist and atheist paths, which makes it really interesting living with them.

I think that misogynistic men and right-wing xtian and other religious tend to be really afraid of witchy women. After all, we tend to be independent and we do not kneel to any all-male divine chorus line. Which, of course, makes us The Enemy, aligned with Satan. Sad, really, since I really do love Pan and his pipes. Poor fertility god, turned into a figure of evil. Guess these guys do not like open and loving male sexuality, either.

samantha
6 years ago

Also, I’d like to express my sheer (happy!) surprise that there are so many witches on here. Holy shit! 😀

Hey! We should have a party! And I, too, am happy to see this!

fromafar2013
fromafar2013
6 years ago

Also, I’d like to express my sheer (happy!) surprise that there are so many witches on here. Holy shit! 😀

Hey! We should have a party! And I, too, am happy to see this!

Reminds me of this oldie but ‘goodie’. The old chap was on to something 😉

http://www.bigfishink.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/1aquote-religo-pat-robertson.jpg

Looking at my own life… hmmmm three out of five ain’t bad?

(The last three, and only insofar as being bi qualifies me as a lesbian in his estimation.)

GiJoel
GiJoel
6 years ago
Tracy
Tracy
6 years ago

Just when you think Pat Robertson can’t get more Pat Robertson-y, he goes and does. What a sickening person he is.

@samantha I love Pan too! Not a witch, just an atheist who digs deities of all sorts. Esp the fun ones.

ParadoxicalIntention
6 years ago

So, this just popped up on my dashboard:

http://www.dailydot.com/entertainment/director-blames-film-flop-on-social-justice-agenda/?tu=dd

TL;DR: Guy loses a film competition with a shitty RPG movie…thing, blames it on SJWs because his movie was obviously superior (It’s not) to movies about experiences being a transgender woman and the dangers women face from taxi services.

I watched about forty-five seconds of his five minute movie, Loot, and I had to stop. It’s terrible. Shots cut everywhere, shitty props, shittier effects, oh, and of course the whole “wimmens can’t play games without hacks and cheats! Git Gud!”.

Even KiA was like: “Nah, you just suck.”

samantha
6 years ago

I watched about forty-five seconds of his five minute movie, Loot, and I had to stop. It’s terrible. Shots cut everywhere, shitty props, shittier effects, oh, and of course the whole “wimmens can’t play games without hacks and cheats! Git Gud!”.

ARGH!! I watched a couple of minutes and I wanted to rip my eyes out!!! And he blames SJW’s????? What…A…Jackass! Talentless, juvenile, stupid, poorly done piece of…icky stuff!

Has anyone here seen JourneyQuest 1 and 2?? Now, THERE are LARP movies really worth watching! Funny, intelligent…if you are, as I am, a lover of D&D, these are the movies to watch. I think you can see them free on YouTube.

fromafar2013
fromafar2013
6 years ago

WTH, ParadoxicalIntention, I couldn’t get through the video either! So… I don’t. even. know. what. Just… bad.

OTOH, the first place (finalist?) video in the three at the bottom “Forever Changed” was really well done though. I’m glad I watched that. Better cinematography than some reality TV shows.

ParadoxicalIntention
6 years ago

fromafar2013

Looking at my own life… hmmmm three out of five ain’t bad?

(The last three, and only insofar as being bi qualifies me as a lesbian in his estimation.)

I think I fit at least three of those as well (witch, anti-capitalist, and pansexual), but I’m wondering if he’d consider me for the “kill their children” one, since I don’t plan on having kids.

I mean, by his estimation, I’m sure that means I’ve neglected my womanly duties to God by proactively murdering my future children before I’ve even been pregnant!

wordsp1nner
wordsp1nner
6 years ago

I’m writing a fantasy novel with both curses and the internet + social media, and this is still not possible in the constraints of the worldbuilding. I mean, you might want to make sure the medical personnel fire up the autoclave quickly if you have any enemies and get amniocentesis, but…

(In this world, witches are dead the same way gamers are dead: it is set in a polytheistic culture where elementary schools teach magic, so…)

wordsp1nner
wordsp1nner
6 years ago

Also, that onion article is hilarious. I’m sad I’ve never seen it before.

Karalora
6 years ago

Wow, I had no idea we had so many witches here! I’m one too! Lately I’ve been pouring way too much energy into a) summoning rain and b) finding a new job to have any left over to spare for cursing the feti of perfect strangers on Facebook, where I don’t have an account.

fromafar2013
fromafar2013
6 years ago

@ ParadoxicalIntention

I think I fit at least three of those as well (witch, anti-capitalist, and pansexual), but I’m wondering if he’d consider me for the “kill their children” one, since I don’t plan on having kids.

Excellent point! I wonder how he’d interpret my engagement and subsequent eventual ‘marriage’ to a cis man. We both have our own careers and incomes, so we won’t be combining finances. If we end up living together it’ll be in one of the properties I own (probably the one equidistant from our jobs), and we will be retaining our own birth surnames (I won’t be taking his). Is this on par with divorce? Am I ‘leaving’ my poor potential future husband out in the cold by not being a proper subservient wife?

If so, and like you, I don’t plan on having any biological children, then I may very well have a 5/5.

0_0

Pat Robertson was right!!!!!! Feminism is the devil!!!!! Spread the word!!

zombie rotten mcdonald

Pat Robertson, just trying to remind the planet that he’s still alive….

weirwoodtreehugger
6 years ago

It’s a funny bit of projection that he thinks pro choice women want to cease all pregnancies. He and his ilk want to force women to give birth, therefore people who are pro abortion must want to force women to have them.

No, you fucking fascist, I’m pro CHOICE. I have no wish to interfere with a pregnancy a woman wants to carry to term. We just want women to have bodily autonomy. It’s not like we’re trying to extinguish the human race!

weirwoodtreehugger
6 years ago

Since Rosemary’s Baby is featured up top, what do people think of the movie? I try to avoid Roman Polanski films because he’s a child rapist. On the other hand, as a big horror fan, I’ve always loved the movie. It’s a genre classic. Sometimes I cave and watch it and then feel terrible about it.

wordsp1nner
wordsp1nner
6 years ago

Its like the old anti-abortion chestnut, “What if your mother was pro-choice?”

Uh, she is. And she chose to have me and my younger sister. And your point is?

Bina
Bina
6 years ago

How did witches curse people before there was Facebook?

Well, in all seriousness, if you really wanted to unload a shit-ton of hex on somebody, you’d make a wax figure representing them. You’d add to it something of theirs, preferably right off their person: a strand of hair, fingernail clippings, a snippet of their clothing, etc. Obviously you’d have to be in regular contact with them, and be able to sneak into their private rooms unnoticed! You’d mix this personal piece of them into soft warm wax, shape it into a roughly human figure, then baptize it with the name of the person to be cursed. You would call down the deities associated with vengeance. And then you could either stick pins into it wherever you wanted this person to hurt or be afflicted, or just burn it in a fire if you wanted to get rid of them altogether. And visualize them actually in pain, or dead.

A milder version of the same thing would be a binding ritual, in which the figure is tied up with string and placed in a sack, with an admonition that the person be prevented from doing anything harmful to whoever wanted them to stop. Or a banishing ritual, in which the figure might be buried or tossed into the nearest body of water with a stone to weigh it down, with a strongly worded command to go away and not come back, and harm none along the way. Again, you’d visualize them being bound by a net of light that acts like a force field, preventing them from striking anyone, or just picture them leaving and never coming back.

A wax figure of this sort might also be used for healing ritual. It’s sort of the opposite of the voodoo curse with the pins: You stick the pins into the afflicted areas BEFORE the rite, and then pull them out during, smoothing out the wax if possible, and visualizing the person in question healthy and well.

Or, failing anything else, you could just yell “FUCK YOU, [name]!” [/sarcasm]

suffrajitsu
suffrajitsu
6 years ago

I don’t think you need to feel particularly bad about loving a movie from the 1970s because of the shit Polanski’s done. Props to you for not supporting any new movies he makes, but as a Hitchcock and Salinger fan myself (neither did anything as horrible as that, but still, pretty, um, not perfect people), I do think it’s possible to separate the artist from their work.

suffrajitsu
suffrajitsu
6 years ago

That was in response to WWTH, btw.

Jarnsaxa
Jarnsaxa
6 years ago

I don’t get it, what would be in it for the witch? Seems pointless.

wordsp1nner
wordsp1nner
6 years ago

Tracy
Tracy
6 years ago

I’m with @suffrajitsu – it is possible to separate the artist from their work. Not always – Woody* Allen films are a little more difficult bc there he is, in them. But yeah, a great film is a great film (or book, painting, piece of music, etc), regardless of who made it. I don’t bother much with Allen’s newer stuff for various reasons, one of which being I don’t want to support him, but his earlier work, the stuff I loved before? I still love it. He can go step on poop-covered Legos though.

*Shut up, Woody.

suffrajitsu
suffrajitsu
6 years ago

@Tracy: Damn that was well done.

I’m all for not feeding the pockets of a rapist currently putting out new works. But since Rosemary’s Baby came out years ago and can be gotten from the public library or shown on TV, no reason to feel bad about it. (And, while Polanski and Allen are particularly noxious examples, the sad thing is so many great artists have been bad people, that metric would wipe out a lot of wonderful art.)

ParadoxicalIntention
6 years ago

Bina

A milder version of the same thing would be a binding ritual, in which the figure is tied up with string and placed in a sack, with an admonition that the person be prevented from doing anything harmful to whoever wanted them to stop.

I actually found an interesting jar spell involving limes and nails:

TO STOP A TROUBLE MAKER JAR SPELL
Write the name of the person on a piece of parchment/paper, fold it twice.
Take a lime and cut it twice, once diagonally and once horizontally, but don’t cut it all the
way into four pieces.
Place the paper or parchment inside the lime and hold it together with two long steel nails. Place the lime into a clean glass jar and put into it some ash, salt and vinegar and screw the lid on tight. The ash and salt are supposed to thwart their efforts to cause you trouble of any kind, and the vinegar and lime should sour their own affairs at the same time.

I’ve also recently learned how to do sigils, and I’m having lots of fun with that. :3

samantha
6 years ago

Pat Robertson, just trying to remind the planet that he’s still alive….

Are you SURE about that? I mean, he really does look more than a little zombiefied…

Skye
Skye
6 years ago

Yeesh.

Has Pat Robertson ever said anything not ridiculous or hateful?

On pro-choice =/= pro forced abortion, I’ve never quite understood why people say that. “How can you have kids, I thought you were pro-choice.” ‘Well, genius , I chose to have them.’

wordsp1nner
wordsp1nner
6 years ago

I kind of feel like spamming this thread with animal videos.

ParadoxicalIntention
6 years ago

I just had a bit of a brain-spark when I was thinking back to when we were talking about curses and Legos a little while ago!

Go Step On a Lego binding jar
Ingredients:
A small wax doll with a piece of the troublemaker bonded with it, or piece of parchment/paper with the troublemaker’s name written on it in red ink
a handful of Legos (off-brand will do, it’s the sharp, small pieces of plastic that count.)
a jar large enough to hold the Legos and the doll

Place the Legos and the item symbolizing the troublemaker into the jar, and give it a little shake. Seal with red wax, and put away in a safe place.

If any of you would like to add to it or edit it, feel free. : 3 I’m still very new to spell-making so there might be some errors or bugs. : P

samantha
6 years ago
Reply to  Bina

A milder version of the same thing would be a binding ritual, in which the figure is tied up with string and placed in a sack, with an admonition that the person be prevented from doing anything harmful to whoever wanted them to stop.

Hmm…Actually, in my experience, this one works pretty well. Back in the 1980’s, a few witchy woman friends and I did a binding like this, using red yarn, on a very powerful member of Reagans staff. Since the guy was an environmental nightmare, we felt pretty good about doing it. Long story short, the binding was to prevent ANY action on his part that would harm the environment. Within a month or so, he lost his job. We were SOOOO happy!

In general, I view hexing the same way I view ANY weapon – something to be used only in the extremes of self- or other-defense.

wordsp1nner
wordsp1nner
6 years ago

samantha
6 years ago

Oh, and instead of a wax figure, we made a poppet out of fabric, stuffed with chopped straw. Since we each worked on the poppet, each of us put our energy and will into it. It was one of the few group workings I have ever been involved with.

zombie rotten mcdonald
Reply to  samantha

Well, it wasn’t approved from Zombie central. So if he’s post-breathing animation, it’s on his own and I am kind of creeped out…

samantha
6 years ago

If any of you would like to add to it or edit it, feel free. : 3 I’m still very new to spell-making so there might be some errors or bugs. : P

A nice, simple spell. The important things to remember when doing any spells, regardless of what they are for, are 1) be very clear about your reasons for doing the spell and the ethical consequences, and 2) your focus, intent and belief are the most important ingredients. I have worked successful spells with little more than a candle, a bit of incense and a very clear, strong intent. Chanting is good, since it focuses you, but the magic that works best is the magic you believe in, and the best tools are the ones you most love to use. Those are the ones that you imbue with your own power.

suffrajitsu
suffrajitsu
6 years ago

Good lord. A little late, but related to the “pro-choice =/= rubbing hands with glee at the thought of abortions”, another The Onion article that apparently fooled a Congressman: http://www.theonion.com/articles/planned-parenthood-opens-8-billion-abortionplex,20476/

wordsp1nner
wordsp1nner
6 years ago

http://literallyunbelievable.org/

All the people taking the Onion as true…

suffrajitsu
suffrajitsu
6 years ago

Looking at that Harry Potter article (from 2000, 15 years ago!), I gotta say, I feel like The Onion’s lost their touch somewhat :/ Clickhole (their Buzzfeed parody) is pretty funny, but a lot of recent articles feel like they were just written to support a mildly amusing headline.

ParadoxicalIntention
6 years ago

Samantha

A nice, simple spell. The important things to remember when doing any spells, regardless of what they are for, are 1) be very clear about your reasons for doing the spell and the ethical consequences, and 2) your focus, intent and belief are the most important ingredients. I have worked successful spells with little more than a candle, a bit of incense and a very clear, strong intent. Chanting is good, since it focuses you, but the magic that works best is the magic you believe in, and the best tools are the ones you most love to use. Those are the ones that you imbue with your own power.

Thanks for the tips, Samantha! : D

I don’t do curses personally, but I thought it would be a good idea to make one, just in case. : I

Shaenon
6 years ago

Oh my gosh, that student film is adorable.

katz
6 years ago

So, this just popped up on my dashboard:

http://www.dailydot.com/entertainment/director-blames-film-flop-on-social-justice-agenda/?tu=dd

TL;DR: Guy loses a film competition with a shitty RPG movie…thing, blames it on SJWs because his movie was obviously superior (It’s not) to movies about experiences being a transgender woman and the dangers women face from taxi services.

I watched about forty-five seconds of his five minute movie, Loot, and I had to stop. It’s terrible. Shots cut everywhere, shitty props, shittier effects, oh, and of course the whole “wimmens can’t play games without hacks and cheats! Git Gud!”.

Even KiA was like: “Nah, you just suck.”

Oh man, that was fabulous! Seriously guys, watch that film. The greatest auteur since Aurini.

weirwoodtreehugger
6 years ago

Usually I don’t care if the artist is a jerk. I’m a big Hitchcock fan and Adam Baldwin has not stopped me from loving Firefly, Serenity and Angel. But child rape is way over the line. It’s so much worse than being a jerk. I really want to see Repulsion because it’s supposed to be great, but it’s bad enough that I watched Rosemary’s Baby on Netflix last year. I don’t usually like Woody Allen movies much, but I do love Annie Hall. I’ve managed to stay away recently though.