Categories
alpha males antifeminism beta males birth control contraception crackpottery entitled babies evil sexy ladies evil working women feminist dudes gender policing imaginary oppression irony alert memes men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny MRA precious bodily fluids reactionary bullshit red pill whaaaaa?

"No vagina on the planet will give you superpowers," and 9 other baffling Manosphere memes from the mind of Ian Ironwood

Wait, what?
Wait, what?

Ian Ironwood, as he calls himself, is the proprietor of the blog The Red Pill Room. He’s also a big fan of retro art.  Alas, he has attempted to combine these two interests, producing a series of baffling “memes” in which he pastes little manosophere lessons on top of artwork borrowed from postwar American magazines and paperbacks.

Here are 9 more of my favorites, pulled from Ironwood’s Twitter stream.

1) “Your sudden newfound support for feminism will do absolutely nothing to get you laid.”

In this meme from last Fall, Ironwood tries to warn any young men who’ve fallen under the spell of Emma Watson that taking up feminism will not entitle them to a harem of sexy feminist ladies. Why anyone would assume that it would is unclear. but evidently in Ian Ironwood’s world, nothing is worth doing unless it’s guaranteed to get you laid.

Feminism: the snooty nurse of ideologies.
Feminism: a snooty scientific researcher that doesn’t believe in safety goggles

2) “Always flush it yourself!”

Of course, those fellas who do manage to get themselves laid have a whole other set of problems, one of the most pressing being the ever-present threat of spermburgling. Yes, it’s true (by which I mean “not true”): Women are devious creatures who will sneak used condoms out of the wastebasket in order to impregnate themselves and thereby set themselves up for a lifetime of sweet, sweet child support payments.

So flush all your condoms down the toilet. After filling them with tabasco sauce. And thumbtacks. Then jump out the window and run, run like the wind!

I WANT YOUR ... SPERM!
I WANT YOUR … SPERM!

3) “Until shit’s on fire.”

Apparently, anyone whose house catches on fire should put it out themselves.

Not sure the firefighters are going to be able to save this house.
Not sure the firefighters are going to be able to save this house.

4) “ELIMINATE the dads … and EFFEMINIZE the sons.”

Dads! Defeat the feminazis with Orange Crush.

Nothing puts hair on your chest faster than carbonated beverages.
Nothing puts hair on your chest faster than carbonated beverages.

5) “It’s your son’s best defense against feminism!”

Apparently, being an “active and involved dad” means going after feminism with a baseball bat?

Kid looks a little worried about dad.
Kid looks a little worried about dad. I don’t blame him.

6) “Real men know their place!”

You know, if you’re trying to get across the idea that feminism is all about women dominating men, you guys should probably stop illustrating your rants with sexualized pictures of dominant women designed to appeal to men with BDSM fetishes. Because this isn’t something that feminists are forcing on men; this is something that dudes actually seek out and sometimes pay a lot of money for.

Your fetishes have spilled all over the internet again.
Your fetishes have spilled all over the internet again.

7) “Don’t help them unless ordered to!”

Apparently the best way to protect yourself from accusations of sexual harassment is to be a giant douchebag.

Bosses love it when their employees are completely unfelpful to half of the other employees
Bosses love employees who are complete dicks to half of the other employees

8) “Not really a viable Reproductive Strategy anymore.”

Apparently Mr. Ironwood has confused feminism with lesbianism. And confused lesbianism with two women in slinky dresses looking out of two large holes that someone has cut into their front doors. And confused both with “reproductive strategies.” Also, he’s evidently unaware that lesbians can in fact have children.

I have no idea what is going on here.
I have no idea what is going on here.

9) “Wake me up when it’s ok to be a boy again!”

Forget about Ian Ironwood for a second. I just want to know why this poor kid’s hand has been replaced by a dog’s asshole.

ByUl2OxCEAA-f0v.jpg large

172 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Moggie
Moggie
9 years ago

I wonder if a magic vagina works anything like a genie’s lamp?

Activated by rubbing?

A couple of things strike me (beyond the obvious lolwut and horror):

Firstly, choosing cheesy art from half a century ago may not be the best idea. Many people associate that style with “LOL at stupid shit people used to believe”. If you’re aiming at people who think the 1950s were the pinnacle of human development, consider that they’re probably on your side already.

Secondly, if you’re writing memes, particularly the teal deer kind, you should probably be more than semi-literate. At least do a spellcheck, and pay attention to those squiggly lines under “strategey”, “unecessary” etc.

anemonerosie
9 years ago

Can someone explain to me why these people don’t just get vasectomies if they’re so worried about spermjacking?

katz
9 years ago

I thought the first one meant “If you were on a planet with no vaginas, you would have super powers.”

friday jones
friday jones
9 years ago

I am fairly certain that the two dudes in #7 are the father and son who were at the ball park in #4. Nepotism much? And that kid drinks too much soda!

friday jones
friday jones
9 years ago

Oh, and regarding the type of alleged reproductive coercion sometimes referred to as “spermjacking…” Isn’t the type of alleged reproductive coercion that involves men sabotaging birth control products in order to impregnate their girlfriends unwillingly about a kajillion times more prevalent? Isn’t that a strategy known to be used by men to gain more control over their girlfriends and as a “reproductive strategey? [sic]”

katz
9 years ago

WWTH: Awesome! I hope this means that your housing situation will stabilize soon, too.

dlouwe
dlouwe
9 years ago

I honestly hope that shitheels like this fully believe #1. Given stories like that of Hugo Schwyzerwhere men masquerade as feminists to gain power over women, I’d rather they don’t get any more slimy ideas for how to manipulate women into sex.

Spindrift
Spindrift
9 years ago

“Activated by rubbing?” That sounds like the premiss for a silly erotic novella.
Would a vagina genie only grant sexy wishes? How did she/he/ze get there in the 1st place?
If you make a wish like jafar did in the disney film, would you trap yourself in the genie’s vagina? So many questions!

MissyL
MissyL
9 years ago

@weirwoodtreehugger, according to the Boston Globe, the annual cost of childcare per state:

http://www.bostonglobe.com/2014/07/02/map-the-average-cost-for-child-care-state/LN65rSHXKNjr4eypyxT0WM/story.html

And these petulant little whiners think that women are out to “steal sperm” because those piddly-ass child support payments are some kind of lottery jackpot. LOL. Apparently not only do they not know anything about women, they don’t understand a basic cost-benefit analysis. Either that, or they’re clueless about the cost of raising a child, which, since that’s considered women’s work and therefore beneath them, is also a likely answer.

1:109/370 (@JoeKlemmer)

#7, third “don’t” –

What does “DON’T Kaly on them…” supposed to mean?

fruitloopsie
fruitloopsie
9 years ago

Men are being raped and killed but nope sperm jacking and divorce are more important in the mens rights movement it seems

anemonerosie
“Can someone explain to me why these people don’t just get vasectomies if they’re so worried about spermjacking?”

It hurts their male pride I guess? I mean they have to spread their golden seed as much as possible.

MissyL
MissyL
9 years ago

Isn’t the type of alleged reproductive coercion that involves men sabotaging birth control products in order to impregnate their girlfriends unwillingly about a kajillion times more prevalent? Isn’t that a strategy known to be used by men to gain more control over their girlfriends and as a “reproductive strategey? [sic]”

My ex used to “jokingly” threaten to poke holes in condoms so “that way we’ll have a baby and you’ll never be able to leave me.” I got an IUD ASAP after the first time he said that. I didn’t tell him, either. Damn, that relationship was toxic and bad in all sorts of ways.

1:109/370 (@JoeKlemmer)

Side note: It annoys the hell out of me that they’ve usurped the “Red Pill” for their complete Matrix-like world. As an ubergeek, that’s offensive. Do you know how much some of us wish we could plug into the ‘Net?

(Yes, I am that kinda nut)

fruitloopsie
fruitloopsie
9 years ago

MissyL
Thats not funny at all, that is terrifying I’m sorry you went through that.

Spindrift
Spindrift
9 years ago

MissyL
That’s aweful and you deserve much better than that.

Spindrift
Spindrift
9 years ago

“It hurts their male pride I guess? I mean they have to spread their golden seed as much as possible.”

Many of them are libertarians, maybe some of them are confused about what the gold standard is and think libertarians want the value of the $ to be tied to “liquid fucking gold”, they’d be fools to give up their ability to ejaculate money!

Bina
Bina
9 years ago

Okay, let me take a whack at these:

1. Vaginas give you superpowers? Um, NO. Personally, this vagina-haver would love to just have the ordinary powers of an average dude. Which I still don’t get to have, onaccounta I have a vagina and am not a dude. See how that works?

2. Feminist guys are only in it to get laid? That’s funny, because I know several, and haven’t slept with any of them just for that yet. No one else I know has had sex for that reason, either. If I didn’t know better, I’d swear these guys were actually in it for the sake of equality!

3. Honestly, any dude who’s worried about “reproductive coercion”, a.k.a. spermjacking, is one whom women should be warned away from sleeping with, not vice versa.

Also: Spermicide is an actual thing, and women often carry and use it right along with condoms because it makes them work better as both a contraceptive AND a prophylactic, and we’re kind of concerned about not catching any diseases a dude might be carrying — as well as not getting pregnant by some guy who obviously views us as nothing more than a convenient hole to stick himself in. Yes, that’s right: We don’t want your LIQUID FUCKING GOLD. Blows yer mind, don’ it?

4. SHIT’S ON FIRE, OH NOES!!!! Ahem. Is this dude telling us he wouldn’t run like hell if it were HIS house burning down? Because, you know, I’m kind of all right with the idea of a house burning down with him still in it. Darwin Awards for all the MRAs! [/sarcasm, in case needed]

And yeah, I’ll damn well save myself, if it becomes necessary and I’m in a position to do so. Dying in a fire is NOT a feminist act.

5. Effeminize is not a fucking word. And what you’re shitting your pants and babbling on about is not a fucking thing.

6. Funny how these guys only ever expect to produce sons, not daughters. Exactly how do they plan to do that? And is this poster trying to suggest that a true MRA extricates himself from anything to do with his daughters? Because, y’know, Paulie tried that, and last we saw him, he was still licking the bruises on his butt over the journalistic consequences of it.

7. So Much Teal, So Deer. The More Text You Insert With All Words Capped, The Less We Want To Read. What Exactly Were You Trying To Say, Anyway?

8. See Above, And Add Even More Hardcore Stoopid And Dissociation From Reality. If That Is Even Possible (And It IS!)

9. Feminism, a “reproductive strategy”? Um, WUT? Well, good thing it isn’t, because this feminist doesn’t WANT to reproduce. (Especially not with the likes of YOU.)

10. When was it ever NOT okay to be a boy? Boys have always been considered the default gender by society. Remember when the default pronouns for any person, regardless of sex, were “he, him, his”? In a lot of places, they still are. And the advantages conferred by that are incalculable.

But of course, all of that doesn’t matter, because women are just eeeeeeeevil.

suffrajitsu
suffrajitsu
9 years ago

I guess it’s possible that some woman somewhere may have tried to sleep with some guy by convincing him her vagina would give him superpowers. But isn’t the idea that sex would have quasi-magical effects much more ingrained in conventional masculinity? (Not literally magical powers, but “getting laid will make you a man” and such.)

I can somewhat understand the stereotype that women will intentionally get pregnant to make the guy marry her. It’s still overblown bullshit, but at least it makes logical sense, and yeah, there are some women who have done that (though I imagine that number has gone down since feminism made it much easier for women to be financially independent). But getting pregnant for CHILD SUPPORT MONEY? Why the hell is this such a widespread stereotype? It’s like when Kanye West warned his male fans that women would try to get pregnant to get money for abortions. How do so many men fail to see the obvious flaw in this plan? That’s like if I burned my own house down to get insurance money. Sure, I get the money, but now I have to spend it on a new house.

Spindrift
Spindrift
9 years ago

“4. SHIT’S ON FIRE, OH NOES!!!! Ahem. Is this dude telling us he wouldn’t run like hell if it were HIS house burning down? Because, you know, I’m kind of all right with the idea of a house burning down with him still in it. Darwin Awards for all the MRAs! [/sarcasm, in case needed]”

Maybe he’s seen too many movies and thinks cool guys don’t look at explosions, they just walk slowly away from them, unphased.

Chaos-Engineer
Chaos-Engineer
9 years ago

The advice in #7 is basically, “Don’t be a team player, and do as little work as you can get away with.” I suppose that’ll protect you from sexual harassment accusations, but you’ll still be at the top of the list when there are lay-offs. So it’s not good advice

The sad thing is that there are three bullet points. You can summarize a real sexual harassment policy in three bullet points:
– Don’t say or do anything that would get you kicked out of a bar.
– If someone tells you that something makes them uncomfortable, then stop doing that.
– If you want to date a co-worker, then there are a whole bunch of other rules that you’ll need to memorize and follow, especially if you’re at different management levels. But why would you want to do that anyway? If you break up, you’ll still have to see them every day, and it’s just not worth the aggravation.

Headless Unicorn Guy
Headless Unicorn Guy
9 years ago

All I can say is WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT?

loganbacon: He’s not drawing anything. Those are Forties to Sixties pulp exploitation book covers and magazine ads with his own text photoshopped in. Among some guys I know, this is called “EVIL-izing” the illo.

And the whole thrust of his EVIL-ized pics is rabid Woman-Hating on a level with the Santa Barbara Shooter. I wonder if his social media presence is nothing but these and Selfies Selfies Selfies.

contrapangloss
9 years ago

Hey, um…

Someone should ask these people how the Hell is it cowardly to flee a burning building unless you’re a fire fighter and its basically your job to put the fire out?

I’m not quite entry qualified, yet (that’ll be come in May) but half the stuff we’ve covered is about knowing how to get the heck out of the burning building if the situation gets too nasty.

So, yeah, even firefighters flee buildings.

Like, we’re definitely going to try to save people if it’s even remotely possible, and then we’re going to do our best to put the fire out, and then we’re going to try to save as much of the structure as possible…

…but we totally flee from burning buildings and then do exterior attacks.

Also, not afraid to admit that the idea of flashover (when the super heated smoke from the fire and pretty much all the contents of the room decide to all spontaneously combust at once, because there’s so much heat in the room) really freaking terrifies me.

Like, we keep getting told to recognize the signs of flashover, and GET OUT immediately, because if you’re not within five feet of the door when it flashes, you are dead.

Yeah.

Fires are terrifying. Really, really cool and awesome as well, and I love everything about the training so far, but also freaking terrifying and don’t believe anyone who says otherwise.

Headless Unicorn Guy
Headless Unicorn Guy
9 years ago

I can somewhat understand the stereotype that women will intentionally get pregnant to make the guy marry her. It’s still overblown bullshit…

… but it happens for real just enough to lend credibility to all the “.overblown bullshit”.

And the meme’s been around for a long time; I remember hearing it back in the 1960s, along with “She’ll screw a lot of guys and when she get preggers, which one will she claim is the father? The one with the most money.” (And there are gold-diggers like that out there; don’t know what the chances are, though it’s definitely less than the urban legend. Don’t know if that’s any help; those sort of stories only made me afraid of women.)

baroncognito
baroncognito
9 years ago

Regarding Vagina Genies:

I am reminded of an Olgaf (this one is not safe for work): http://oglaf.com/goddessextraction/

fruitloopsie
fruitloopsie
9 years ago

Bina
“4. SHIT’S ON FIRE, OH NOES!!!! Ahem. Is this dude telling us he wouldn’t run like hell if it were HIS house burning down?”

Pfft wether it’s a fire or an explosion everyone knows that you simply walk away!
http://www.readysettroll.com/articles/images/8299-10-photos-of-cool-famous-people-who-walk-away-from-explosions-5.gif