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"No vagina on the planet will give you superpowers," and 9 other baffling Manosphere memes from the mind of Ian Ironwood

Wait, what?
Wait, what?

Ian Ironwood, as he calls himself, is the proprietor of the blog The Red Pill Room. He’s also a big fan of retro art.  Alas, he has attempted to combine these two interests, producing a series of baffling “memes” in which he pastes little manosophere lessons on top of artwork borrowed from postwar American magazines and paperbacks.

Here are 9 more of my favorites, pulled from Ironwood’s Twitter stream.

1) “Your sudden newfound support for feminism will do absolutely nothing to get you laid.”

In this meme from last Fall, Ironwood tries to warn any young men who’ve fallen under the spell of Emma Watson that taking up feminism will not entitle them to a harem of sexy feminist ladies. Why anyone would assume that it would is unclear. but evidently in Ian Ironwood’s world, nothing is worth doing unless it’s guaranteed to get you laid.

Feminism: the snooty nurse of ideologies.
Feminism: a snooty scientific researcher that doesn’t believe in safety goggles

2) “Always flush it yourself!”

Of course, those fellas who do manage to get themselves laid have a whole other set of problems, one of the most pressing being the ever-present threat of spermburgling. Yes, it’s true (by which I mean “not true”): Women are devious creatures who will sneak used condoms out of the wastebasket in order to impregnate themselves and thereby set themselves up for a lifetime of sweet, sweet child support payments.

So flush all your condoms down the toilet. After filling them with tabasco sauce. And thumbtacks. Then jump out the window and run, run like the wind!

I WANT YOUR ... SPERM!
I WANT YOUR … SPERM!

3) “Until shit’s on fire.”

Apparently, anyone whose house catches on fire should put it out themselves.

Not sure the firefighters are going to be able to save this house.
Not sure the firefighters are going to be able to save this house.

4) “ELIMINATE the dads … and EFFEMINIZE the sons.”

Dads! Defeat the feminazis with Orange Crush.

Nothing puts hair on your chest faster than carbonated beverages.
Nothing puts hair on your chest faster than carbonated beverages.

5) “It’s your son’s best defense against feminism!”

Apparently, being an “active and involved dad” means going after feminism with a baseball bat?

Kid looks a little worried about dad.
Kid looks a little worried about dad. I don’t blame him.

6) “Real men know their place!”

You know, if you’re trying to get across the idea that feminism is all about women dominating men, you guys should probably stop illustrating your rants with sexualized pictures of dominant women designed to appeal to men with BDSM fetishes. Because this isn’t something that feminists are forcing on men; this is something that dudes actually seek out and sometimes pay a lot of money for.

Your fetishes have spilled all over the internet again.
Your fetishes have spilled all over the internet again.

7) “Don’t help them unless ordered to!”

Apparently the best way to protect yourself from accusations of sexual harassment is to be a giant douchebag.

Bosses love it when their employees are completely unfelpful to half of the other employees
Bosses love employees who are complete dicks to half of the other employees

8) “Not really a viable Reproductive Strategy anymore.”

Apparently Mr. Ironwood has confused feminism with lesbianism. And confused lesbianism with two women in slinky dresses looking out of two large holes that someone has cut into their front doors. And confused both with “reproductive strategies.” Also, he’s evidently unaware that lesbians can in fact have children.

I have no idea what is going on here.
I have no idea what is going on here.

9) “Wake me up when it’s ok to be a boy again!”

Forget about Ian Ironwood for a second. I just want to know why this poor kid’s hand has been replaced by a dog’s asshole.

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confusedinspiration
9 years ago

lolol “feminism has a long, bloody history of despising feminist men”. A long and “bloody” history guys. “bloody”.

Social Justice Shota
Social Justice Shota
9 years ago

Is there any MRA who actually entered the mythical realm of reality?

magnesium
magnesium
9 years ago

Anyone who flushes condoms down the toilet deserves a lifetime of clogged toilets.

Ktoryx
Ktoryx
9 years ago

Ugh, Firefighters are so sexist. REAL feminists just watch passively as their homes crumble around them. Possibly smoking a cigarette or walking away from explosions without looking back at them.

contrapangloss
contrapangloss
9 years ago

No flushing condoms. Stop introducing plastic into things plastic shouldn’t be introduced to. Stop making the waste-water folks and the plumbers of the world’s lives a living nightmare. Just stop it.

If you’re that worried about your precious bodily fluids, rinse it out and throw the plastic bits in the garbage can. It probably takes all of 2 additional seconds and is much friendlier to plumbers, waste-water treatment facilities, and the environment…

…at least until some brave soul starts a processing method to recycle condoms. Somehow. Without it turning into a bio-hazard of epic proportions.

Friendly PSA.

loganbacon
loganbacon
9 years ago

The butthurt is strong with this dude. A shame, really, since he actually can draw. He could use his powers for something useful, or at least profitable.

sn0rkmaiden
9 years ago

It would be simpler just to buy condoms with spermicide, they do make them.

contrapangloss
contrapangloss
9 years ago

…also, is it just me, or is anyone else now wondering how much of the Great Pacific Garbage Patch is composed of teeny-tiny little bits of MRAs flushed condoms?

Or the slightly smaller plastic patches in the Atlantic gyres for MRA’s on the eastern seaboard of the Americas and western coasts of Europe?

Elektra Kenway
9 years ago

Regarding point 2:
I was once with a guy that, out of nowhere, just became terribly nervous and ran to the bathroom, filled the condom with water, and threw it in the toilet (clogging everything a while later). I didn’t even know why he would do such silly thing, but he seemed oddly “relieved”.

Now I get it. Now I’m disgusted.

sparky
sparky
9 years ago

Um, was feminism ever supposed to be a “reproductive strategy?” Last time I checked, it was about political and social rights for women.

Film Runner
9 years ago

Could someone please educate me as to the cause of this fucking semen-theft obsession? It’s one of the few things on this site that still has me legitimately baffled.

Twisted Inspiration
9 years ago

Isn’t it sad how they still believe that all other people think like them: “Sex, Sex, Sex!”? If they stopped being obsessed with sex, they would realize that there are actually other reasons for talking with people, even with people from the gender you prefer sexually… And that there are also other (and much better) reasons to support something than the belief that there might be sex in it for you. Ironic, that such people, slaves to their simpelst desires, consider themselves strong, independent “men”.

contrapangloss
contrapangloss
9 years ago

…also, last comment for now:

RE: the fire picture,

I’m only about a third of the way through Fire 1, but I already know that would be a structure we’d go on defensive mode on. As in, “nope, not saving that. Nope. All the no.”

Honestly, we’d focus more on the surrounding houses and just dump some water on that one from as far away as we can manage.

Film Runner
9 years ago

The butthurt is strong with this dude. A shame, really, since he actually can draw. He could use his powers for something useful, or at least profitable.

You seriously think he drew these himself?

howlcat
9 years ago

Regarding #4 – please tell me the manoshere won’t be record their own version of R.E.M.’s Orange Crush any time soon. I’m still recovering from their rendition of Fleetwood Mac!

Spindrift
Spindrift
9 years ago

On number 1- If you became a feminist just so women would have sex with you, I don’t think you’re really a feminist.

On number 7- How hard is it to talk to women without sexually harassing them, honestly? You’re not ready for a professional work environment if you can’t treat women as colleagues.

What I’m taking away from number 9 is that they’re living in a dreamland and refuse to grow up.

As for “no vagina on the planet will give you superpowers”, that’s just got me thinking of a spiderman origin story where Peter Parker was bitten by a radioactive vagina dentata.

Annie Squidface
9 years ago

I love how the “mangina” meme assumes that men who want anything to do with treating women like human beings are doing it to get their dicks wet. Not everyone thinks that way.

Fnoicby
Fnoicby
9 years ago

Film Runner, they seem to live in an alternate reality in which child support payments (in general) are actually some kind of lucrative income source that the mother gets to spend entirely on “wants” rather than barely (or not even) enough to take care of the father’ share of the expenses of raising a child.

tinyorc
9 years ago

Film Runner:

Could someone please educate me as to the cause of this fucking semen-theft obsession? It’s one of the few things on this site that still has me legitimately baffled.

MRAs genuinely believe that a statistically significant percentage of women are so desperate for a child (and/or that sweet sweet child support jackpot) that they habitually fish used condoms out of the trash under the cover of darkness and… I dunno, presumably rub the contents around inside their vaginas in the hopes of getting pregnant?

Greatest human rights movement in history.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
9 years ago

Co-Workers Going Their Own Way. Because there’s no way behaving like a weird reclusive close-lipped hermit towards women could ever backfire. Particularly if your job requires communicating with a team, or interacting with the public.

After all, scoring passive-aggressive MRA points is far more important than getting work done and keeping customers happy.

Doug
Doug
9 years ago

The semen thief thing is about the notion that women intentionally get pregnant to trap the guy and/or ensure child support payments.

sparky
sparky
9 years ago

Adding onto what Fnoicby said, they seem to think that women will go to ridiculous extremes in order to get sperm from these guys, up to and including fishing used condoms out of the trash can. Because women are just that evil and that desperate to get pregnant by an asshole who thinks women are stupid evil manipulators and children are nothing but financial burdens. Because of all that sweet, sweet child support money.

sparky
sparky
9 years ago

Ninja’d mulitiple times!

Viscaria
Viscaria
9 years ago

This dude is totally ruining my strategy of promising men that they will get superpowers if they sleep with me, thereby giving me the chance to steal their sperm in order to become pregnant with children that I don’t allow them to be actively involved with. Stop messing with my business, bro!

Professor Fate
Professor Fate
9 years ago

if memory serves re number 4 and 5. these are also the folks that complain very loudly about having to pay child support yes?
These people make my head hurt.

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