There are a lot of good reasons to give Valentine’s Day the side-eye. It’s a holiday, as many people dutifully point out every year, that’s more about selling candies, cards and jewelry than it is about love, promoting a backwards version of (hetero)sexuality in which men trade expensive gifts for sex – a philosophy perhaps most crassly expressed in the ad slogan for Kay Jewelers: “Every Kiss Begins With Kay.”
It’s a day that causes stress for a lot of couples and resentment amongst the single. And those little chalky heart candies with the words on them, whatever their kitschy charm, are really kind of crappy as candy.
But there are bad reasons to dislike Valentine’s Day as well. Amongst the Men Going Their Own Way of the world, “National Vagina Worship day” is the holiday they most love to hate; in their minds, the “bitches” don’t deserve any kind of respect at all, much less flowers and candy.
The folks at MGTOW.com has decided to fight back against V-Day, sort of, by inventing a holiday of their own. Here’s a semi-official annoucement:
FEB 14th is INTERNATIONAL MGTOW DAY and it is 17 centuries too late!
That’s ok cunts of the universe. We have the Future Covered Bitches. Fuck You!
The MGTOW.com regulars are celebrating the day (they claim) by treating themselves to nice dinners and new power tools and whatever else they can think of. As Soul Man put it on the MGTOW.com forums,
It’s gonna be a GREEEEEAAAAATTTTT DAY!!!
I am going to treat myself to whatever the fuck pleases me! I think I’m going to have a big fat steak and go ride my crorch rocket at very excessive speeds! If I’m feeling altruisric, I will find some cheap trollop to toss on the back and give her a couple of miles of “Mr. Wrong”! HAHAHA!
Yeah, that’s gonna happen.
Ned Trent, reporting in from Germany, has similar plans, minus the motorcycle ride:
For this evening I am going to take myself out for a substantial meal like a big Schnitzel with fries in a cool restaurant which specializes in this at a pre-ordered table for one person (myself), before heading out to a local nightclub on a mission: taking the piss out of /pissing off any female that I may encounter during that night over there, whilst having a great time myself on my own…
Mostly, though, as you may have already gathered from these two comments, the MGTOW.com regulars seem to be using the day as an excuse to do the same thing they do every day: try to take over the world kvetch about women and fantasize about making them miserable.
Mycocaine, writing back in January, allowed himself to dream:
This will be first 2.14 I am looking forward to. Rubbing my hands together. What say all men in unison dump that bitch on Feb 13. and go buy themselves a car.
GoneGalt had a somewhat more labor-intensive plan:
We ought to start some campaigns to counter women, small or large or just funny. One might be to derive a list of chick flick movies and then use it as a guide to rate all such movies as ‘1’ star on Netflix/IMDB/Rotten Tomatoes to bring the ratings down, and every now and then write a review that’s generic (so you can cut and paste it) and extremely insulting of that movie (something like ‘typical female drama and romantic garbage – amazing how women view themselves as soooo special’) 🙂
ListenUp! announced an equally, er, creative way to punish the women of the world on their (allegedly) special day. It involved a photo of celebrity feminist lawyer Gloria Allred.
Tonight after printing 30 pages all with this photo on it, I’m going to the gym to tape this photo on every punching bag in the place. Carry on men!
Machiavelli tried to live up to his namesake with a proposal to ignore women real hard:
Studies have show that [ostracism] creates the same effect in the brain as physical pain (google it). People become co-operative when ostracised to win back approval. … It’s hard wired into us for evolutionary reasons.
Women are particularly sensitive to being ostracised.
The more guys that become mgtow the more women will be ostracised for mistreating men (either yourself or another man). …
14 February 2015, it’s a “nice day for an ostracism” for women everywhere.
We (men) are 50% of the population, so let’s see what women think when this half of the population starts ostracising them until they treat all men with equality and respect.
As I read through all of these little fantasies, none of which seem at all likely to ever be implemented in the real world, I found myself thinking of the title of an old album by the eccentric British post-punk band Television Personalities: “Mummy Your Not Watching Me.”
Because the one insurmoutable problem of all these plans is that they depend on women actually giving a shit about what these guys do. And as most of these guys in their hearts probably realize, no one really cares if they eat a nice steak dinner (go for it, dudes) or waste their evening giving “chick flicks” one-star ratings on Netflix (knock yourselves out).
If they were decent human beings, being ignored by them actually would hurt. Of course, if they were decent human beings, they wouldn’t be giddily fantasizing about ostrasizing the women of the world for being women.
Maybe the MGTOWers need to replace their clumsy five-letter acronym with a new one: MYNWM (Mummy You’re Not Watching Me, pronounced “minwim”).
Here’s the actual song “Mummy Your Not Watching Me,” by Television Personalities (music only), followed by a video of them pretending to perform their song Painted Word. Happy Vagina Worship Day!
I don’t get how these guys can take good advice and turn it into something horrible. Why put so much effort into hurting other people?
Going to a nightclub to insult women is not going your own way, it is being a shit. Go your own way, don’t date and enjoy your single life but don’t demonstrate this by emotionally hurting random strangers for no reason. They have done nothing to you.
I do care about the plans not because I’m so desperate to date I’d settle for someone who hates me, but because I don’t want anyone to go for a fun night out when they are feeling down only to be approached by one of these guys determined to make them miserable. That is just so horrible.
OH NO! NOT THE IMDB RATINGS!
Also, I still don’t understand this idea that Valentine’s Day is all about men buying women things (how does that even work out in gay and lesbian couples?). I always try to buy my husband a gift or bake him something nice, and he does the same for me. Of course, if you find the whole thing tacky, you have no obligation to.
Anyway, belated, but my thoughts are with all unhappy singles, and I hope you treated yourselves anyway. (Same with the happy singles, of course!)
Arctic Ape, I work at a children’s hospital and on Valentine’s (if I am working), I have a pocketful of heartshaped suckers and wish everyone (kids and adults alike) Happy Valentine’s. I wouldn’t do that at, say, the grocery store, though.
lkeke35 | February 15, 2015 at 2:15 am
Damn MGTOWs, sneaking around my garbage cans so they can hurl words they think hurt at me while they scavenge for power tools and steak from my garbage…
Hugs to everyone suffering from heartbreak this Valentine’s Day (Though, it’s long since been over, but meh). May you find your happiness however you can, but for now, I have hugs if you want them.
It seems like terrible things are happening in the romance department all around this year. My friend was talking to me the day before yesterday and saying that his parents are getting a divorce because his father cheated on his mother, and it’s been less than a month since his mother’s mother died. : ( He’s very upset with his dad because he’s a serial cheater and he’s a pretty terrible person.
On a happier note though, I spent the day single myself playing Minecraft (and doing lots of Thaumcraft research. That mod can be rather time-consuming), won a run of the Binding of Isaac: Rebirth, and I bought myself some games off of Humble Bundle, since they had a special Valentine’s Day set. I got Long Live the Queen, Analogue: A Hate Story, and Go! Go! Nippon! ~My First Trip to Japan~. I think they’re visual novel type games. And Humble Bundle was giving out some Valentine’s Day card images with them as well, so that was nice. : 3
I would have gotten the bigger bundle, but I didn’t have enough for it, unfortunately. Still, more games to add to the Steam hoard!
I’ve also made the decision that I want to collect lots of physical copies of horror games. I’m not sure if I want to specialize in a specific company or series or not, but I love horror games, and having a good collection of them would be awesome for me. Though, I’d have to get some of the older consoles to play them all, I’d imagine.
@Christina
In my experience, the MRA view of gay/lesbian couples is that lesbians aren’t actually lesbians, but simply angry feminists who can’t/won’t get laid with men (and therefore EVIL). Gay men are either men who can’t get laid with women (and therefore victims of the evils of feminism), or they can sometimes be viewed as actually truly gay if the angle can be used to promote an MRA talking point.
This confusion is probably due to the fact that the existence of non-straight and non-cis people completely ruins the simplistic MRA view of human sexuality.
When does the Going Their Own Way part start? All of these plans involve women.
@Arctic Ape
I don’t know of anyone who does that. The usual response to single friends is to pretend the holiday doesn’t exist.
I spent my V-Day in kitchen.
Not mine, but I was helping to arrange a St. Valentinus festival, medieval style (I was mostly working to get food for the evening’s feast done). I spent most of the time speed-peeling garlic, which means that I’m thoroughly suffused with the smell of it. And some time was spent chopping up carrots and handling lunch arrangements for vendors who had set up their tables for sales of stuff.
Kitchen is one of my fave places to be when helping big things like this happen. It usually has people I already know, and we can shoot breeze and joke every which way we want to, because there aren’t any outsiders listening, or kids underfoot. Plus, I freakin’ love cooking, because cooking is like alchemy, except better, because it actually works. Cooking good food from scratch is like personally building an awesome PC and installing the OS and then fine-tuning it to heck and back, and not too coincidentally, both are my passions.
And I’m sorry for those who have it rough and because I am not a good hugger because of things, here’s my hug-ambassadors.
http://i.imgur.com/C0kXkKf.gif
People here do tell each other happy VD, in my experience. Likely stems back to grade school where we had VD parties and everyone got valentines and candy, at least one valentine from the teacher.
The taking yourself out and getting yourself a treat is a great idea! I tell my kids to take care of themselves as if they were their best friends or their own children. I personally believe you can’t take care of anybody else until you have taken care of you. Too many well meaning people’s priorities are like an upside down pyramid with them on the bottom. I feel that is a recipe for disaster.
That extremely twisted part of this clusterfuck of bitter tears is the “BITCHES!” part.
You cannot make other people unhappy enough to make yourself happy. There is not a shortage of happiness and other people aren’t using it up before you can get any. Dedicating a day to wishing other people were miserable and lonely will not a joyful day make. These guys act like they couldn’t get a date to prom and they are still not over it. Their jealousy is red hot. Somewhere women are being loved and appreciated by the men and women they love and appreciate in return. That actually makes them mouth frothing angry. That is just fucked up. You can’t tell me that all the steaks and motorcycles in the world could make a person like that happy. Which is a shame because steaks and motorcycles are pretty sweet.
My Valentine’s week was great.
We sent my grandmother a package and she called us crying because he was so tickled.
The little boy down the street brought my youngest a hand written note on plain paper that said, “Would you be my Valentine?” She responded with a sparkly homemade Valentine of her own. He then brought her a rose. She then gave him candy. Love was in the air.
By now the oldest brother realizes that their are two girls on the block he likes and he begins to make them Valentines. One of the girls got chocolate too. (I did not ask which one.) He received one hand made Valentine in return.
My husband and I were given several cards made mostly from construction paper and glitter. My home now sparkles like a disco ball. The kids presented their dad with short stories they had written for him.
Hubby and I celebrated Valentine’s Day by having sex til we were hungry and then hitting a deli for some lunch. Last night we snuggled up and watched Clueless and Pitch Perfect.
Best day ever, as far as I’m concerned. Life is so much nicer when you don’t waste it hating.
As usual when I go out to a restaurant, I got too excited and chewed the food too fast and ended up biting my lips, tongue and inside of my mouth. So much pain today. Whyyyy can’t my teeth just be normal.
Oh darn, I wanted to have Future Covered Bitches be MY band! I’ll just have to wait for the next unintentionally hilarious bandname from MGTOW (maybe, eventually, but they are still women to try and annoy how can they possibly go their own way effectively when there are so many women ignoring them??).
Re: wishing everyone a happy valentines – I’m the only one in my current work group in a long-term relationship, and as a group we still do the whole “happy valentines!” and one person brought in flowers and another cupcakes because we all want each other to have a nice day. And candy, we all want everyone to have candy.
In comparison, my husband and I made dinner together and watched Guardians of the Galaxy.
Also, this is my favorite post break-up song, Garfunkel and Oate’s Silver Lining:
I think I started to dislike Valentine’s Day right around the time when it stopped being about everyone in class just giving each other cute cards and sharing cupcakes, and when it started being about “Naaa, naaa, I have a boyfriend and YOU DON’T, YOU LOSER!!” In other words, around Grade 7. Until then, it was okay; just a nice excuse for a class party on a mid-winter day. After that, it became a kind of torment, and once I was through school, something to ignore when I wasn’t puking over the commercial excess of it, and the blatant lies (no, diamonds are NOT forever; just look at an oil rig drill bit!).
I really would like to get back to what it was in grade school: Just everybody being more or less friends, swapping silly cards and eating gooey cupcakes with pink icing and those little red cinnamon hearts on top, and dancing to corny tunes in a circle around the record player. Can we do that instead of making the uncoupled feel like losers, please?
There is the old urban legend about divorce lawyers sending random Valentines gifts to strangers to generate work for themselves.
MouseFarts & WWTH,
(((HUG))) I’m sorry you are both weathering such rough times.
Nope.
I think sexuality is more flexible than most folks realize.
Zolnier,
I’ve heard that called a “check back”. I watched a couple gay friends go through a phase kinda like this: “Am I sure I don’t like sex with people of that gender at all? Maybe I’ll try it just once more…. Nope, definitely not. I am definitely not into that.”
Good wishes and whatever good Karma I have to the folks having such a rough time.
Love Television Personalities – here’s a fav of mine.
Spindrift
“That was almost like reading about myself! Hugs if you want them.
I don’t think it’s wrong to go out with a woman who asks you out if you’re honest with her.”
Thanks and yeah I would never be like ‘yep I’m totally lesbian’ I would tell her that I’m straight but would go out with her. The reason of why I asked is I don’t want to make someone feel like I’m using them or make them feel like I’m just going out with them because I had too. I don’t know if any of this makes sense.
lkeke35
“@fruitloopsie: I think that’s called being Hetero-flexible. Or Homo-curious. (I could be wrong about those terms, though. They might be outdated.)”
I thought it was called being ‘queer’ though I could be wrong too. I apologize if I used that inappropriatly.
Bina
Valentine’s day it feels like it’s about who can buy more stuff for their sweet hearts nowadays. I made everyone in my class at church heart envelopes (I folded a paper heart into an envelope and you open it up it reads happy Valentine’s Day) with coupons that reads ‘unlimited free hugs and fist bumps without expiration’ and candy inside. And I also gave candy to the little kids in the other class.
My mom and I made cards to each other. We are going to wait until the candy in stores becomes half off.
Thanks for all the hugs from everyone for all the singles
I’d just like to be IN that band! Can I audition for a place as a backup singer? I don’t have the vocal quality to sing lead but I can carry a tune without the need for a bucket and can sing harmonies without covering my ears. I could handle a tambourine, too but if you want dance moves, you’ll have to be patient teaching me.
I work in retail and had a shift yesterday, so I wished many people a happy Valentine’s and received many such wishes from custys as well as co-workers FWIW.
@Fruitloopsie “I don’t know if any of this makes sense. ”
Makes sense to me.
European here, Valentine’s day’s not very commercial here as of yet, not compared to the USA anyway.
As for band names, I think I’d go with “respects is earn” or “NVWD” (national vagina worship day) , sadly I’m not musically talented in the slightest.
Is “Ethics in Journalism” a band name? I’m too young to know about bands, sorry. :/
Band names: Fempire, The Sperm Jackers, Vagina Dentata and Pedastal Goddesses is all I can think of at the moment.
It’s also funny how the Schnitzel guy is leaving out the traditional salad to go with Schnitzel and fries. Because salads are for women and have cooties. It’s probably misandry that the healthy stuff isn’t in the fries.
@Fruitloopsie
If you’re still feeling lonely and you feel like chatting, I could drop an email address and we could have a back and forth, like penpals 🙂