There are a lot of good reasons to give Valentine’s Day the side-eye. It’s a holiday, as many people dutifully point out every year, that’s more about selling candies, cards and jewelry than it is about love, promoting a backwards version of (hetero)sexuality in which men trade expensive gifts for sex – a philosophy perhaps most crassly expressed in the ad slogan for Kay Jewelers: “Every Kiss Begins With Kay.”
It’s a day that causes stress for a lot of couples and resentment amongst the single. And those little chalky heart candies with the words on them, whatever their kitschy charm, are really kind of crappy as candy.
But there are bad reasons to dislike Valentine’s Day as well. Amongst the Men Going Their Own Way of the world, “National Vagina Worship day” is the holiday they most love to hate; in their minds, the “bitches” don’t deserve any kind of respect at all, much less flowers and candy.
The folks at MGTOW.com has decided to fight back against V-Day, sort of, by inventing a holiday of their own. Here’s a semi-official annoucement:
FEB 14th is INTERNATIONAL MGTOW DAY and it is 17 centuries too late!
That’s ok cunts of the universe. We have the Future Covered Bitches. Fuck You!
The MGTOW.com regulars are celebrating the day (they claim) by treating themselves to nice dinners and new power tools and whatever else they can think of. As Soul Man put it on the MGTOW.com forums,
It’s gonna be a GREEEEEAAAAATTTTT DAY!!!
I am going to treat myself to whatever the fuck pleases me! I think I’m going to have a big fat steak and go ride my crorch rocket at very excessive speeds! If I’m feeling altruisric, I will find some cheap trollop to toss on the back and give her a couple of miles of “Mr. Wrong”! HAHAHA!
Yeah, that’s gonna happen.
Ned Trent, reporting in from Germany, has similar plans, minus the motorcycle ride:
For this evening I am going to take myself out for a substantial meal like a big Schnitzel with fries in a cool restaurant which specializes in this at a pre-ordered table for one person (myself), before heading out to a local nightclub on a mission: taking the piss out of /pissing off any female that I may encounter during that night over there, whilst having a great time myself on my own…
Mostly, though, as you may have already gathered from these two comments, the MGTOW.com regulars seem to be using the day as an excuse to do the same thing they do every day: try to take over the world kvetch about women and fantasize about making them miserable.
Mycocaine, writing back in January, allowed himself to dream:
This will be first 2.14 I am looking forward to. Rubbing my hands together. What say all men in unison dump that bitch on Feb 13. and go buy themselves a car.
GoneGalt had a somewhat more labor-intensive plan:
We ought to start some campaigns to counter women, small or large or just funny. One might be to derive a list of chick flick movies and then use it as a guide to rate all such movies as ‘1’ star on Netflix/IMDB/Rotten Tomatoes to bring the ratings down, and every now and then write a review that’s generic (so you can cut and paste it) and extremely insulting of that movie (something like ‘typical female drama and romantic garbage – amazing how women view themselves as soooo special’) 🙂
ListenUp! announced an equally, er, creative way to punish the women of the world on their (allegedly) special day. It involved a photo of celebrity feminist lawyer Gloria Allred.
Tonight after printing 30 pages all with this photo on it, I’m going to the gym to tape this photo on every punching bag in the place. Carry on men!
Machiavelli tried to live up to his namesake with a proposal to ignore women real hard:
Studies have show that [ostracism] creates the same effect in the brain as physical pain (google it). People become co-operative when ostracised to win back approval. … It’s hard wired into us for evolutionary reasons.
Women are particularly sensitive to being ostracised.
The more guys that become mgtow the more women will be ostracised for mistreating men (either yourself or another man). …
14 February 2015, it’s a “nice day for an ostracism” for women everywhere.
We (men) are 50% of the population, so let’s see what women think when this half of the population starts ostracising them until they treat all men with equality and respect.
As I read through all of these little fantasies, none of which seem at all likely to ever be implemented in the real world, I found myself thinking of the title of an old album by the eccentric British post-punk band Television Personalities: “Mummy Your Not Watching Me.”
Because the one insurmoutable problem of all these plans is that they depend on women actually giving a shit about what these guys do. And as most of these guys in their hearts probably realize, no one really cares if they eat a nice steak dinner (go for it, dudes) or waste their evening giving “chick flicks” one-star ratings on Netflix (knock yourselves out).
If they were decent human beings, being ignored by them actually would hurt. Of course, if they were decent human beings, they wouldn’t be giddily fantasizing about ostrasizing the women of the world for being women.
Maybe the MGTOWers need to replace their clumsy five-letter acronym with a new one: MYNWM (Mummy You’re Not Watching Me, pronounced “minwim”).
Here’s the actual song “Mummy Your Not Watching Me,” by Television Personalities (music only), followed by a video of them pretending to perform their song Painted Word. Happy Vagina Worship Day!
Not sure if talking about riding motorcycle…or masturbating.
Whichever. Knock yourself out, dude!
I have a sad today, but that is because I became single a week ago today and it still hurts like a goddamn fucker. And then for some reason I thought it would be a good idea to sign up on POF because I honestly forgot what holiday it was, and woke up to over a hundred and fifty messages from dudes, and then burst into tears because every single one made me feel icky at how much they were not my ex and I don’t want it.
None of that has anything to do with MGTOWs or sexism. I’m not sure they could actually make me any more miserable. So, I mean, if they wanna make themselves feel better about their bitterness, have at I guess.
Give 1 star ratings to random movies on Netflix? These guys are just too cruel. My Valentines day is ruined. 🙁
@MouseFarts
Hugs and potato chips if wanted.
@MouseFarts
I’m not sure if this will help, but it’s my favorite “it gets better” song.
Internet hugs if you want them.
@MouseFarts oh no, that sucks. I’m so sorry.
Here is a squeaky wriggly kitten, just in case it helps at all:
My fiancee and I used today as an excuse to go to the kind of place we can’t usually afford. We would have gone on to the Museum of Sex, but she has the sniffles. Now we settle down to some popcorn and Mythbusters.
@MouseFarts I’m sorry, dolly. That’s never a good feeling, but for whatever small amount of comfort this provides, at least you aren’t as bitter and unpleasant as those folk.
You’re more than welcome to join me in watching Fried Green Tomatoes (it still has a largely positive rating despite the threat of malcontents) and eating cup after cup of Top Ramen.
For some reason my favorite part of the whole thing is that he specifies that he’s booking a table for one for himself, rather than booking a table for one for someone else.
“…to rate all such movies as ‘1’ star on Netflix/IMDB/Rotten Tomatoes to bring the ratings down, and every now and then write a review that’s generic (so you can cut and paste it) and extremely insulting of that movie (something like ‘typical female drama and romantic garbage – amazing how women view themselves as soooo special’)”
I knew there was a reason there were so many of these twerps clogging up the message boards on imdb. It’s mildly annoying how they infest a lot of my favorite sites with this bunk. I wish there was a program that you could implement to do a quick scan for their buzz words and just make them invisible. They’re pretty much no different from trolls and other useless spam.
Farting competition? Does that work on Price is Right rules? Loudest without soiling oneself?
As to Future Covered Bitches, maybe it’s like pork belly futures, except investing in covered bitches. They’re marketing a line of dog blankets.
Aw, MouseFarts, that sounds like a really shitty day. Here, have a corgi on a carousel:
My sister brought to her boyfriend a remote controlled mini helicopter once and this year her boyfriend gave her a bottle for make giant balloons. BECAUSE THEY ARE SO ROMANTIC
My husband’s birthday is in ten days, and he has long insisted that anything gooey and romantic happening in February should be reserved for then.
MouseFarts – sincere condolences. Maybe you can cheer yourself up by going to fancy restaurants and mocking the cranky dudebros eating steak dinners all by their lonesomes.
I know I’ll get banned for contradicting the Echo Chamber, but I quite like those “little chalky heart candies with the words on them” (properly known as “Conversation Hearts”.) I mean, I wouldn’t want to eat them every day, but once a year seems about right. Likewise with Marshmallow Peeps and candy corn. And I wish there was some kind of annual Pez-themed holiday to help me remember to have a package of those once a year.
Other than that, Future is a brand of floor wax. Maybe MGTOW’s put it on their dogs to make their coats shiny?
I had pizza with my mom earlier and am watching Silent Hill for the hundredth time. This is much more fun than writing one star reviews or going to dinner alone to silently seethe at couples.
I’m putting off emailing my dad to tell him I’m being evicted until tomorrow. I’m scared. But despite the recent financial hardships, I still feel like my life is better than any MGTOW. Because at least I’m not full of hate. At least not being an awful person means that my family, even if disappointed with me, will still help me.
That’s nice, dear. I’m sure the local highway patrol will be very interested.
Oh, like German women won’t be able to smell you coming and simply step aside, so you’re left stumbling over a pool of your own vomit, ALONE? That is, if the bouncer doesn’t get to you first?
Lemme guess: You don’t have one. Or the money for a car.
Oh look, Baldrick has a fiendish plan. One that I’m sure no one will think is the least bit childish.
Also, there are women who don’t give a shit for “chick flicks” because they’re sick of pandering, formulaic drivel churned out by men who think that this shit is What Women Want.
And I’m sure that gym regulations and security (not to mention the mental maturity of all the other dudes in the joint) won’t stand in the way of THIS Fiendish Baldrick Plan™, either.
Uh, we already do. But hey! If you wanna be Forever Alone, have at it.
Hope your Fleshlight is nice and warm, BTW.
I like conversation hearts along with every other confection. Except circus peanuts.
The guy who said he’s booking a table for one person (myself) in a cool restaurant (which will no doubt be extremely bloody busy what with all the loved up couples around) to eat a big Schnitzel with fries and then go to a nightclub on a mission to piss off any female he comes into contact with ‘whilst having a great time myself on my own’ wins a year’s supply of scented candles yay!! for sounding like the unhappiest dude in the world. Light the candles, have a long warm bath, relax and stay in on V Day dude. You won’t feel half as bad or miserable than if you went out! Mwahahahaha *evil laugh*
Hello! Have you helped yourself to a welcome package?
I’m picturing a fabulous woman in an iridescent silver jumpsuit. Someone entirely out of these guys’ league, of course.
mousefarts. I’ve just topped up the barrel of hugs, blankies, and cute, cuddly furry things over there in the corner.
scalyllama I thought I recognised your name? Anyway the official welcome package is thataway –> in the sidebar. Click on the Scented Fucking Candle for fun and information.
Amazing choice of music.
@WWTH
Oh, I’m sorry to hear. 🙁 That’s a horrible feeling when the uncertainties of life catch up with us. For what it’s worth, there is infinite value in being a kind and decent person, and in consequently having good people around you who have your back. I wish you the best.
My valentine’s day I made myself a necklace. It is embellished right-angle weave with fire-polished crystals and IT IS SPARKLY.
My favorite co-worker just left Friday, so I’m feeling a bit down (he got a permanent position on the other side of the country.)