So once again I took a look through some of the weirder search terms that people have used to get to this blog.
There are of course a number of misguided souls who get here by accident while searching, rather incompetently, for porn. Here are a few of their less obscene queries:
sex pron lades@man dowounlod
men who like to fart in womens faces
filling horny guim with egg
(I’m assuming this last one is a porn-related query. Though I have no idea what a “guim” is, and Urban Dictionary, frankly, is no help here.)
Perhaps the saddest of all the porn-related queries:
sexual contact between men and women videos
Aw, dude, seriously, there are like a billion videos of “sexual contact between men and women” online. It’s just that NONE OF THEM ARE ON THIS SITE.
There are also numerous visitors with seemingly urgent sexual questions to which this blog provides no answers:
my vagina gapes naturally
jerk off instructions serious
A suprising number of these involve spitting. Specfically, spitting into women’s mouths, a topic I addressed in one post some time ago.
what does spit in my mouth mean
what does it mean when a man spits in your mouth during sex
how do you spit in a girls mouth
why would you spit in someones mouth
What really strikes me, though, is how many of these queries would make perfect opening lines for truly awful conversations:
why are white women so stupid
i hate women that like bad boys
females are sneaky
what do fatties think of mgtow
how can i punch a woman
Backing away slowly now.
And then there was this one, essentially a very sad, very short story in the form of a Google query:
am somali matuher 45age my husband died now i need to marry his 25 years young brother of my husband died
Contact me to inquire about obtaining the movie rights to this or any of these other queries.
And if you’re feeling brave: see if you can work one of these phrases into a real-life conversation today, and report back on how it goes.
Sniping mammoths from afar is definately the best strategy. Less goring involved. Or letting a dragon duke it out with them. That’s always fun to watch! (If I’m short on dragons flying about I summon Durnehviir. Badass undead dragon ftw!)
With a high enough Smithing skill and a good rock to sneak behind, you can OHKO the mammoths pretty easily. Giants, too.
Mine’s a tiefling nun 🙂
http://fc06.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2015/040/1/c/sister_mary_malacoda_by_gckatz-d8hdpez.png
@Katz “Mine’s a tiefling nun 🙂 ”
Tieflings are awesome! I especially liked the large planescape table for randomly generating their abilities/appearance.
@ladysunami:
I have obviously been playing Skyrim wrong, doing things by hand when I could have my dracolich thrall do them for me. I will have to see about binding the puling wyrm to my will.
@katz: Beloved played a tiefling mage a couple years ago. It wasn’t her fault that she kept catching the assassin with her area spells; he insisted on trying not to be seen!
I just find it comical that a movement insists that women’s opinions have no weight to them, yet conduct searches like this and title their rants stuff like “why mgtows matter to women”.
The societal doom and gloom talk is the best stuff though. Especially from the ones who look forward to defeating feminism by causing mass economic turmoil, in turn forcing society to examine and address what’s making them unhappy. The idea is if enough men withdraw their economic support and live a minimalist lifestyle for themselves, women will lose their collective meal ticket, goverment assistance will be strained beyond capacity, the market will suffer, and we will be at their mercy begging for the return of their irreplacable maintenance of society with the promise to never step out of line again. In their fantasy world, female self reliance isn’t a thing, economies aren’t pliable, there’s no gigantic line of foreigners who would love to fill their abandoned niches, and they can convince enough men to turn against women and abandon their way of life to pull it off.
It must take one hell of a “the world revolves around me” mindset to conclude that the world will stop without you.
Oh crap, that got a might more text wall-y than expected.
Have any of you all played Dragon Age Inquisition?
Shadow of Mordor?
If so, what do you think of them?
I am confused by the ‘fatties’ thing. Surely fat people are non gender specific? And aren’t some MGTOW fat? Certainly the one I saw on youtube was. And then of course – why would ‘fatties’ (definition please – my BMI is 33, do I qualify?) have any particular view on MGTOW that would differ from those with lower BMI?
So many questions….!
I’ve always heard the “fatties” used as a perjorative specifically for women (whether or not we are actually “fat” might not even have anything to do with it)
*the TERM fatties
*pejorative
sigh…
@katz
That’s actually pretty cool. What’s the story there?
yutolia – so it is ‘better’ when men are fat? Their fatness is not misogyny but our fat is misandry?!
She was going to be married to a prince of Hell, but she didn’t want to so she ran away and joined a convent.
@proxieme: Unfortunately, I’ve played neither of them. I do have DA 1 & 2 but haven’t played more than a few hours in 1 (again, it would violate the Not-In-Front-Of-The-Children Act).
I have heard positive things from LGBT+ folks about Inquisition, and glitchy things about Shadow of Mordor (apparently sometimes the big, bad orc you just killed can come back to life?).
@katz: Beloved’s tiefling was found on the doorstep of a monastery as a baby. Somehow, she convinced everyone to let her go out for wizarding.
Our tieflings could totally be long-lost siblings!
They could! They totally could.
Getting all that back child support would literally need a white knight, though.
@Falconer “Getting all that back child support would literally need a white knight, though.”
Or a social justice rogue!
Hey, where’d our Social Justice Ranger get to? Am I just inattentive?
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Eh, most people know BMI is bullshit anyways. Though, I wouldn’t put it past MGTOWs or MRAs to think it’s the holy grail of science because biotroofs.
Tinyorc
I have a mod that lets Brynjolf be my follower (and husband~) and he’s also really, really, bad at stealthing. : I
I think he’s just really trying a little to hard to impress me. It’s kind of cute, how he runs in with his little quips and starts slashing everything in the room whilst I provide cover fire from the shadows.
Falconer
The first time I played Skyrim, WAY back when it first came out, I got the mission from Yolsolda in Whiterun, who wanted a mammoth’s tusk to trade with the Kajhiit caravans. I was wandering about, and I found a mammoth, thinking “Oh, good! I can just kill that and take it to Yolsolda! Quest done!”
The next thing I knew, my body was flying fifty feet in the air and I had to reload from the gates of Whiterun.
I couldn’t go NEAR a mammoth again until I was at least level 45.
proxieme
It looks good, from what I’ve seen. I’ve only played Origins though, and I had to stop because I got caught up in a love square with three characters and I couldn’t handle my feelings because I loved them all so much and you can only have ONE romance at a time.
From what Tumblr tells me, Dragon Age Inquisition is a giant bull-man, a woman with resting angry face, and a wimp of a mage kill everyone and promote homo nups Ferelden.
Oh, and Morrigan shows back up to not-wear a bra at you again.
Similarly, Pokemon Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire is the torrid tale of the love that blossoms between a hairy surfer in blue and an uptight accountant in red. I think Pikachu is involved somehow.
Not Shadow of Mordor, but yes to Inquisition. I love inquisition!
Hey, do you have Oblivion for the PC by any chance? If so, you should check out Nehrim. It’s a total conversion mod with an amazing atmosphere! I love the lore and setting so much. The voice acting is all in German, but there is an English subtitled version.
My current D&D character (actually Pathfinder) isn’t sneaky at all… Although she can cast invisibility l suppose. Does that count?
She’s a sylph sorceress with an air elemental bloodline. (In pathfinder, sylphs are half human-half air elemental. Not like in D&D 3.5 where they are a monster race.) She flies around shooting lightning at people. It’s fun!
Well, I found out that Last Time, On Skyrim, I was about to be framed for murder, and the game was going to turn into an episode of Prison Break and I’d have to shiv my way to freedom.