So once again I took a look through some of the weirder search terms that people have used to get to this blog.
There are of course a number of misguided souls who get here by accident while searching, rather incompetently, for porn. Here are a few of their less obscene queries:
sex pron lades@man dowounlod
men who like to fart in womens faces
filling horny guim with egg
(I’m assuming this last one is a porn-related query. Though I have no idea what a “guim” is, and Urban Dictionary, frankly, is no help here.)
Perhaps the saddest of all the porn-related queries:
sexual contact between men and women videos
Aw, dude, seriously, there are like a billion videos of “sexual contact between men and women” online. It’s just that NONE OF THEM ARE ON THIS SITE.
There are also numerous visitors with seemingly urgent sexual questions to which this blog provides no answers:
my vagina gapes naturally
jerk off instructions serious
A suprising number of these involve spitting. Specfically, spitting into women’s mouths, a topic I addressed in one post some time ago.
what does spit in my mouth mean
what does it mean when a man spits in your mouth during sex
how do you spit in a girls mouth
why would you spit in someones mouth
What really strikes me, though, is how many of these queries would make perfect opening lines for truly awful conversations:
why are white women so stupid
i hate women that like bad boys
females are sneaky
what do fatties think of mgtow
how can i punch a woman
Backing away slowly now.
And then there was this one, essentially a very sad, very short story in the form of a Google query:
am somali matuher 45age my husband died now i need to marry his 25 years young brother of my husband died
Contact me to inquire about obtaining the movie rights to this or any of these other queries.
And if you’re feeling brave: see if you can work one of these phrases into a real-life conversation today, and report back on how it goes.
@your username is amazing, PussyPowerTantrum!
yes, definite overlap there. You guys remember all the people who threatened to “go Galt” during the worst days of the recession? As if there weren’t ten people who’d jump at the every one of the positions the “Galters” were threatening to vacate. I very much doubt most of them actually went anywhere, particularly the ones who claimed to be well-educated and making good money.
Go, then: inside of six months, someone hungrier will have filled in your old place.
I thought it totally wasn’t supposed to matter what women thought of mgtow. Apparently these guys are secretly dying for some sort of reaction. Why the interest in fat women’s in particular, is it out of some hope that a shrinking availability of men will scare-motivate them into hourglass figures? Me no understand.
Sarity
Understand?
If you’re looking for things you can understand …
… this blog, and especially this post from David, may be the wrong place to start.
We talk about mockery, but that’s mainly because that’s the only thing we can do with the impenetrable writings that turn up.
Contra — idk, like I said, just dredging the “QI facts” corner of my brain! But yes, the doodles in old bibles! Classical Rome is still my favorite though, just look at Pompeii (note: but not at work XD )
Great to have you! You don’t have to introduce yourself, but if you do, you get a welcome package.
fromafar2013 | February 11, 2015 at 8:30 pm
You play as khajiit too? Noice~
I also play as argonian, but I’ve dabbled in orc, redguard, and high elf.
My orc lady had a lot of fun with some…mature….mods.
In Finnish, “egg” can be a slang term for penis. Possibly also in some other languages. You get famously nonsensical expressions when people think English works like their native language.
My bosmer Skyrim character is also quite stealthy… Her Dunmer companion not so much. Jenassa gets to guard the front of the cave these days. And to think, sneak is supposedly one of her primary skills. Tsk.
It’s true! I walk around in a semi-crouch all the time these day!
@ladysunami, all followers are basically rubbish at stealth! I only ever use followers if I’m playing a barrell-through-the-cave-warhammer-a-swinging tank style character!
tinyorc – “Wait here. You suck at stealth.”
*an hour later*
“Where did I leave my companion…?” ????
I’m guessing that the Googler is himself a MGTOW, and specifically interested in fat women, and I have two guesses as to what he’s hoping to find:
A) Women weeping over all of the men who have GTOW, therefore disadvantaging them on the supposed sexual marketplace, and/or crushing their self esteem because there are men who would rather GTOW than date them. This would be leverage to try and pressure fat women into behaving in ways that MGTOWs deem acceptable: “See, if you don’t want to end up alone, then lose some weight, or at the very least act like I want you to, or else you won’t convince me to grace you with my godlike presence.”
B) Women assuming that MGTOW’s real problem is that they’re too shallow re: beauty standards to date them (which becomes a HA YOU LIKE TALL MEN DON’T YOU, DOUBLE STANDARDS AND BIOTROOFS gotcha). This would then get screencapped and circulated around Reddit to mock fat feminists (they must be feminists, because they are outspoken women, y’see) who are hypocritical about body positivity.
Of course, it will be genuinely difficult to find these women, seeing as how MGTOWs have pretty much entirely made them up. This also completely ignores the reality that fat women can (and do!) have self esteem, they can (and do!) find love with folks who aren’t self-centered, entitled poopheads, and the vast majority of such women will happily wave MGTOWs along with a “Don’t let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya.”
But MGTOWs are not generally big on reality, so.
I’m just gonna put this out there. Am I the only one who thinks a mewling quim would look something like this:
@Kootiepatra
Those sound plausible. If I may add a C), it could be they hope focusing their “opinion research” on women who are already vulnerable to low self esteem might yield what they’re looking for to record and use as “proof” that mgtow is totes working and women are demonsterably worrying about our movement (just as absurdly unlikely to happen for the same reasons, but as you say, reality needn’t apply).
I’m amused by the idea that they think a single Google search can locate “the fatties”, as if there’s one website where everyone over a certain BMI threshold hangs out.
It’s fun to imagine these people as moles, tunneling through the dark recesses of the internet looking for creepy-crawlies, when suddenly they stumble across WHTM and are blinded by a shaft of dazzling reality. AAAAAAAIEE!
Once my mage character got to be archmage of the College of Winterhold, she set her sights on other organizations to conquer. She chose the thieve’s guild in Riven, thinking that her spells would help cover for her low skulduggery skills until she worked them up, but it’s a hard slog.
And then I decided to work through my quest log by working on the bottom quest (the oldest one) until I got an update, then cycling through. Had to get off the Strange Gems one because I think I missed one in the Bosmer Embassy and couldn’t get back in.
I think she’s a Dunmer, but it’s been so long I can’t remember. Skyrim’s not exactly a game to play in front of kiddos.
Now let me tell you about my last D&D character ….
I miss playing Skyrim (I will save up for a new gaming computer one of these days). One of the best things about it is that even when you’re at max level and have 100%’d the quests, you can still just settle down and play out the rest of your life like a sim game. Fuck being the Dovahkiin or the Archmage or the next in line for the throne, my character and her wife Aela prefer to team up, grab their bows and go on hunting parties for the day’s dinner. I even modded them their own butchery shop in Whiterun.
… Two women who literally hunt mammoths. I just realised that. Heh.
@contrapangloss
Moren din var et hamster og faren din lukter hyllebær! And to fisnish off: Jeg promper i din generelle retning. (I fart in your general direction) 😀
“Rassragr” is “asshole” – rasshøl – in old norse.
PS! I’m absolutely chuffed to bits that I can finally make a contribution to this awesome page!
Going back to lurking again…
*finish… I’m so embarrased now, I must stop internetting for at least an hour. Himmalaya så flaut. 😀
Oh man, I haven’t had the guts to hunt mammoths. I got crosswise with a pair of giants once, and after that, Valentina Tereshkova didn’t have nothin’ on me.
I texted my (thin) sister to ask what fatties think of MGOTW. She emoji smacked me.
Sarity | February 11, 2015 at 11:30 pm
Yeah, I think they are honestly surprised by our reaction.
IF YOU ARE A MAN GOING YOUR OWN WAY –
PLEASE!!! JUST!!! FUCKING!!! GO THERE!!!
^ The one time I hunted mammoths in Skyrim (I think for ingredients for something…it’s been awhile) I hit, raaaan to a ruin of something, and just pummeled them from afar as they raged beneath.
For some reason I’m picturing a twilight zone-ey scenario where a MGTOW wakes up to find he’s the last person on earth, forced to actually go his own way, deprived of the female attention he so desperately craves.
Think even then he’d refuse to go his own way, propping up mannequins and pretending they’re begging him not to go.
Of course the MGTOW thing is all about trying to get an “Oh, no, please don’t go!” reaction from women. They think they can reverse the feminist trend by threatening not to bang women any more — as if the women hadn’t already decided that these guys are unbangable. It’s all “You’re going to miss me when I’m gone. You’ll be a lonely old lady with cats. [Here’s where the women say, “Great!”] I’m going now. See me go. I really am going. Look at me go! You’re not looking. You’ll be sorry when I’m gone. This time I’m really going. Why won’t you look at me?” And so on.
It’s sort of like a five-year-old: “Mommy, I’m running away from home, I really am this time. Make me a PB&J. [Ed. note: Five-year-olds don’t know that you’re supposed to say “sammitch”.]. Oh, and some brownies would be nice …”
They seem to think that all women would prefer having an unacceptable man to no man at all. And there are such women, of course, but not enough of them, and the number is decreasing as more women give up on the type of man who tends to join the MGTOWs. The ironic thing is that — although the MRAs do constantly point to the fact that women live longer than men — they don’t seem to realize that as an obvious result the great majority of married women outlive their husbands and are therefore going to be “alone in their old age” anyway.