So once again I took a look through some of the weirder search terms that people have used to get to this blog.
There are of course a number of misguided souls who get here by accident while searching, rather incompetently, for porn. Here are a few of their less obscene queries:
sex pron lades@man dowounlod
men who like to fart in womens faces
filling horny guim with egg
(I’m assuming this last one is a porn-related query. Though I have no idea what a “guim” is, and Urban Dictionary, frankly, is no help here.)
Perhaps the saddest of all the porn-related queries:
sexual contact between men and women videos
Aw, dude, seriously, there are like a billion videos of “sexual contact between men and women” online. It’s just that NONE OF THEM ARE ON THIS SITE.
There are also numerous visitors with seemingly urgent sexual questions to which this blog provides no answers:
my vagina gapes naturally
jerk off instructions serious
A suprising number of these involve spitting. Specfically, spitting into women’s mouths, a topic I addressed in one post some time ago.
what does spit in my mouth mean
what does it mean when a man spits in your mouth during sex
how do you spit in a girls mouth
why would you spit in someones mouth
What really strikes me, though, is how many of these queries would make perfect opening lines for truly awful conversations:
why are white women so stupid
i hate women that like bad boys
females are sneaky
what do fatties think of mgtow
how can i punch a woman
Backing away slowly now.
And then there was this one, essentially a very sad, very short story in the form of a Google query:
am somali matuher 45age my husband died now i need to marry his 25 years young brother of my husband died
Contact me to inquire about obtaining the movie rights to this or any of these other queries.
And if you’re feeling brave: see if you can work one of these phrases into a real-life conversation today, and report back on how it goes.