A Voice for Men’s embattled Grand Wizard Paul Elam and his followers have responded to Buzzfeed’s devastating profile of him in some predictable ways, and in a few less predictable ones.
If you’re read the Buzzfeed piece – and if you haven’t, you really, really should – you know that it devoted a lot of time to the sad and sordid history of Elam’s three marriages and the even more sad and sordid story of the daughter he abandoned.
In a long and rambling post on Buzzfeed’s piece, Elam – all too predictably – goes after “Susan,” his first wife and the only one of his three ex-wives who was willing to talk on the record, trying his best to destroy her credibility by portraying her, essentially, as a lying slut.
Elam miraculously, and probably with considerable effort, managed to avoid the s-word – a favorite of writers on his site. But his attempts to slut-shame her are as transparent as glass.
Over the course of his post, he describes her as “very enthusiastic about sex,” “indeed very enthusiastic about sex,” and “a promiscuous wife.” He alleges that during their brief marriage “her sexual enthusiasm wasn’t limited to me,” and repeats the accusation that he leveled at her at the time – that she lied about being raped in order to cover up her own infidelity. He declares her to be a “habitual liar,” someone who “cheated and lied constantly.”
Elam also suggests that Buzzfeed paid his ex-wife and daughter to talk trash about him; and he makes several other serious allegations against his ex-wife that I won’t repeat. (EDIT: Buzzfeed’s Editorial Standards and Ethics policy forbids paying sources.]
A decade ago, you may recall from Buzzfeed’s piece, Elam reunited with the daughter he had abandoned as a baby, only to drive her away several years later after, she claims, spanking one of his grandsons for opening the refrigerator.
In his post, while referring to her as his daughter, he resurrects an old accusation, writing that “I need to point out that it has not been established that I actually have a daughter.”
Buzzfeed quotes what it says is an email Elam sent to his daughter in 2005, in which he apologized to her and to his brother. “I owe both of you a tremendous debt,” he wrote. “I just said some unflattering things involving [his ex-wife], but the more important truth here is that I failed both of you.”
In his post, though, Elam declares that “I did not, as alleged, tell Bonnie [his daughter] that I was sorry that I had failed her. I told her that I was sorry such misfortune had been her lot.”
If the email quoted by Buzzfeed is authentic, this is a blatant lie.
While the attacks on his ex (and his halfway renunciation of his daughter) are sadly predictable, Elam also resorts to a desperate if inventive diversionary tactic, suggesting that the art used to illustrate Buzzfeed’s post is somehow … anti-Semitic, reminiscent of Nazi propaganda. Uh, no. I’m pretty sure that one or both of the authors of the Buzzfeed article, Adam Serwer and Katie Baker, would have said something if this were even remotely the case; they’re both Jewish.
Judge for yourself. Here’s the picture AVFM used to illustrate Elam’s post:
In the comments to his post on AVFM, meanwhile, Elam’s supporters circle the wagons and lash out at pretty much anyone they can think of who’s ever said less-than-flattering things about their dear leader. They are considerably less careful with their language than Elam.
In the post’s “Featured Comment,” with close to 70 upvotes at the moment, AVFM contributor “Andybob” lashes out at Elam’s enemies:
A disgruntled ex from decades ago and a brainwashed daughter that probably isn’t his who were doubtlessly given some kind of monetary incentive to say that Paul Elam won’t be getting their votes for Man of the Year any time soon. After months of sleepless nights planning his cunning revenge, the best Serwer could come up with was to drag out this pair of bitter malcontents who were probably chomping on the bit to take a swipe a man who chose not to serve them in the ways to which they obviously feel entitled.
Suzie McCarley, AVFM’s “Assistant Managing Editor,” says of the Buzzfeed article that “it will be quoted by skanks and bitches of both sexes for years to come.” She snidely writes of Serwer that “I hope the blow job his ho Katie B. owes him in exchange for his credibility, is worth it.”
Several others cleverly refer to Serwer as “Sewer.”
Very few of the commenters deal with any of Buzzfeed’s specific allegations. Instead, they resort to evasive euphemism.
AVFM’s social media director, who writes under the name Janet Bloomfield, laments what she calls “the hysterical ad hominem attacks on a man who turns out to be ….SHOCK…. human.” “I’m shocked! Who would think that an ex-wife might have shit to talk about her ex? Amazeballz!” AVFM contributor Jason Gregory writes sarcastically. “Overlord Elam is a human man?” jokes someone called ComradePrescott. “I can’t serve any master that isn’t a reptilian monster!!!!”
Others offer excuses, making clear that they would probably forgive Elam for anything short of mass murder:
In a separate post, AVFM’s Sage Gerard offers an even less coherent “rebuttal” to Buzzfeed’s post, filled with vague accusations against Buzzfeed and weirdly evasive defenses of Elam that if anything make him look worse.
Gerard declares that Buzzfeed’s
“evidence” is opinion carefully framed to manipulate, not persuade. This is David Futrelle’s style of toxic propoganda: Distort context until the target and all supporters appear inhuman.
It’s hard to tell what on earth Gerard even means by any of this, and of course he provides no examples.
He then goes on to offer this oddly backhanded defense of Elam’s terrible behavior:
In terms of his difficult decisions during his youth, Paul had to live with choices that only prove that he is human. Today, Paul faithfully operates within the boundaries of the law as an advocate.
Even more strangely, Gerard praises Elam for … not pocketing money from fundraisers intended for others.
Another money fact that keeps slipping by unreported is that Paul has allowed others to feed off his main revenue stream. Paul hosts fundraisers on this site where AVfM gains no money. I offered Paul a percentage in Zen Men’s last fundraiser, and he refused the money. He also gave Dean Esmay money for private dental work in public view. …
Between Dean and Zen Men, AVfM gave up access to over $10,000, which means Paul gave up more than AVfM itself raised in its last fundraiser. …
Greedy people out to exploit the masses don’t give away money.
Actually, lots of them do. Are you kidding?
If these are the best defenses that Elam and his allies can muster, he’s going to have a hard time rebounding from Buzzfeed’s report.
Dare we hope that this is the beginning of the end for this scumbag and his whole sordid “movement”?
I’m still marvelling that he managed to persuade three women to marry him. Poor souls! There should be a support group for ex-partners of MRAs.
haha, I quite agree with “Reason.” Elam’s story probably is the same as a lot of his fellow-travelers, only the names have changed. Dysfunctional, irresponsible, emotionally stunted people.
… to take a swipe a man who chose not to serve them in the ways to which they obviously feel entitled.
This is an unintentionally frank admission. Apparently for MRAs, being abandoned as an infant child is the very heart of “female entitlement” against which they rail.
The same goes double for the other defenses, which try to tell us this is the typical dirt any ex-wife would have on their husband. Apparently this sordid tale is what they’re willing to admit is NORMAL in the life of MRA-husband/fathers.
I’m just going to leave a post-it note on my monitor reminding me how to properly Blockquote.
blockquote monsta is out in force today. Beware!
Do… do they not realize that that Paul illustration is directly based on the We Can Do It poster retroactively called “Rosie the Riveter”? I mean… why would you attempt to say it looks like something it blatantly doesn’t look like, when the inspiration is so obvious?
I would say so!
The fact that at least one of the others wouldn’t go on record due to fear of the way these “human rights activists” treat anyone who criticizes them, speaks volumes.
Personally, I thought the authors of this piece were more than fair to Elam. But I’m still waiting for a mainstream article that critically examines his claims about how opressed men are as a class.
BTW, I can’t recall if it was in Buzzfeed or in Mother Jones, or both, that Elam compared himself to Eldridge Cleaver and Valerie Solanis, but–
Cleaver and Solanis were never mainstream voices of their respective movements. Solanis was never a “leader” in any sense–she was a mentally ill loner who wrote a single piece that was published, as satire, by Maurice Girodias’ Olympia Press (which was dedicated to pushing the boundaries of free speech) and later picked up by Robin Morgan for her collection, Sisterhood is Powerful.
If MRAs aren’t at the cult of personality stage yet, they’re pretty damn close.
Ah yes, the Nazi propaganda thing is classic. What an idiot.
Does he not realize that his managing editor, Deanypants, is a rabid GamerGate supporter, and that they actually use actual anti-Semitic imagery all the damn time?
In the comments he admits to having used the N-word plenty while he was younger because he was born in the ’50s in Texas. But yeah, feminists are racist and anti-Semitic.
Also, Sage Gerard can no longer claim that his campus group KSU Men/Zen Men is not affiliated with A Voice for Men (as he has done in the past). He says right there, point blank, that Paul is using AVFM funds for KSU Men/Zen Men.
Would that be helpful to KSU to get that group off campus, I wonder?
Amazing that people actually donate money to P.E. – has any of them ever seen any proof that the money are spent the way P.E claims???
Excuse me, what? I stopped at the comment about every kid in the 90s getting beat and actually had to shake my head and blink and read it again to make sure. Not every kid in the 90s was beaten, and it is far from natural or harmless.
Fixed your projection for you, AVFMorons.
At least Gerard admits that he has a problem with evidence based arguments.
I seem to recall reading somewhere (was it here?) that Elam is, quel surprise, also a rabid antisemite. Yet he doesn’t hesitate to use antisemitic imagery to claim that he’s being persecuted on the same level as six million exterminated Jews.
“Idiot” doesn’t even begin to cover it.
I grew up in the 80s and 90s and corporal punishment was not the norm. At least not where I lived.
I think I’m going to keel over and die of not surprise.
I am still reeling over the fact that we’re now allowed to refer to the 1990s as “back in the day”.
The illustration makes me think of Joe Camel, or a real camel, crossed with Rosie.
http://171.67.24.121/tobacco_web/images/tobacco_ads/targeting_teens/joe_camel/medium/joe_116.jpg
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/5386106/images/1249789861486.jpg
Elam could have disallowed comments to avoid the savaging of his daughter. He let the gang run wild instead. He’s letting them say all the vicious stuff he doesn’t think it politic to say himself. You can bet every one of those comments was reviewed by him before it was posted. Talk about proxy (emotional) violence!
Not to mention calling her a liar about what he told her, when the email proves he’s the liar. Nice work picking up on that, David.
The AVfM commentariat: such Human Rights, so ethics.
Cause there’s no way she might actually be a competent editor or something. Nah, she’s just there to pretty up the place and ‘raise morale.’ Can’t ask more from a lady yanno.
Ugh. Ugh.