An open thread for personal stuff.
As usual for these threads: no trolls, no MRAs, no Iām-not-really-an-MRA-buts, no being jerky.
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Open Thread for Personal Stuff: February 2015 Cat Wearing Box in a Sink Edition
Hugs to Mouse Farts and Isidore. There’s also leftover pizza if anyone wants it.
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I’m not allowed to take cortisone pills anymore, and my pains are coming back. The other medication was supposed to kick in by now – I don’t think it’s doing anything. Now what? :/
Oh and also, I think I’m finally done watching Real Time. I love the format, which is why I stuck with it for so long (it’s also great because you don’t have to use your eyes – I treat it like a podcast and listen while playing Minecraft), but I can’t fucking stand Bill Maher anymore. Especially this week’s episode was one long facepalm from start to end (except for Janet Mock, I guess). Fuck it, I’m done. Out of my life, Bill. You’re not welcome.
You’ve all been very lovely to me since I started lurking on this site, even when I’ve put my foot in it with something crass. So I’d like to share something with you. Never told anyone this, not even my closest female friends, but I think there may be use.posting here. You can maybe refer people to this post when you get a #notallmen, “why are.women so paranoid?” type crop up.
Ok, so our story starts years ago when I lived in London. I was strolling to court one day. I had to step aside to avoid some mess on the pavement. As I did so, something struck me in the back of the leg. It really hurt.
I turned around to see what it was. It was a young woman, probably in her early /mid 20s on a bicycle.
Now, I’m the most placid person you can imagine. I very much subscribe to the views of Marcus Aurelius and I lived in London long enough to know these things happen when you cram 12 million people into a few square miles. My usual approach to bike collisions was to say “Oi mate, watch where you’re going”, the other party would say “Sorry” (apologising is our national pastime) and we’d all be on our way.
That was all irrelevant though. We never got to that stage.because as soon as I turned round I saw that the girl was frozen. I could see that she was absolutely TERRIFIED.
Now bear in mind, although I’m a pretty big guy I looked the very model of respectability. Ede & Ravenscroft 3 piece suit, clean shaven etc. This was at a time when I would be waved into high security events without even my ID being checked. I hope you get the picture.
And the girl just looked like your average confident metropolitan woman. Not especially timorous or nervey.
But anyway, I was so shocked by the look in her eyes that I also froze. The girl.took the.opportunity to run away.
Now consider that, there was.nothing to.indicate a threat whatsoever but for the.fact she had POSSIBLY MADE A MAN ANGRY!
That was enough for her to.abandon a bike, maybe worth hundreds of pounds and flee. Remember also that this took place a London street, not down some back alley.
Thinking about it now.still.gets to me. I’d love together able to say to her “Hey,dont worry, you were never in ANY danger.” but I can’t and that poor girl probably remembers that event.to this day as the time she may have escaped with her life.
So the moral if there is one, we live in a society where women genuinely fear that any encounter with a man could cost her her life. The worst thing we.have to put up with is a few hashtags. Anyone going on about “female privilege ” want.to swap places?
Adding e-hugs and warm thoughts for Mouse Farts and Isidore. I’ll also set a positive intention for you today as part of my hippie-bullshit-spirituality-practice.
I could also use some hugs/positivity sent my way–going through some tough family stuff and feeling kind of rootless.
All the hugs you want here, WatermelonSugar.
All the hugs and puppies to Mouse Farts and Isidore.
Oh yeah, I’m back around here.
I’ve had some online interactions recently that made me realize I need to spend more time here with people who don’t believe that women should be self-deprecating doormats in order to have a decent relationship or any sort with a man, or that all men should be piggish brutes in order to “succeed.” I really appreciate you guys. Thanks for having this space, Dave.
I’ll send an envoy to dispense all the hugs to everyone in need.
https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/8441577472/h7B4FA2B4/
The Furrinati and Feminism High Council loves ya all.
And here’s one for everyone in need of it right now:
http://media.curse.com/Curse.Core.CurseImageFileViewer/CommunityServer/Components/UserFiles/00/01/97/43/55/kitty%20–%20hug%20owo.jpg-600×450.jpg
Oh, wow, all the hugs to…everybody, I guess. Mouse Farts and Isidore, especially.
Alan, that’s actually a good story to use.
Um, I’m a little embarrassed to ask, what with so many having serious troubles, but I could actually use a little help, too. Much simpler. I’m getting ready for a book promotion, and as part of that, I’m doing author interviews and character interviews. I may yet resort to making up questions for myself, but it would be better if I can avoid that. So if anyone can pop on over to my blog and ask any questions you might have, that would be useful. Thanks.
MouseFarts, Isadore, ej, WatermelonSugar and anyone else who wants one, here’s a panda hug:
http://jamiechin.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/95c50760-75a4-476f-a2ab-867e55ef6613.jpg
Seconding the question about Kittehs – anyone in touch with her? Just hoping she’s well. Cassandra, hellkell and others whose nyms I am forgetting too. So many people I miss around here. Argenti, so glad you’re back!
@Alan Robertshaw, I’ve really enjoyed your posts. Lots of really nice new folks around š
Also, David? You’re awesome.
And finally, this is my Rationalization Hamster:
(at least I think that’s a hamster)
I’d guess guinea pig myself
@dhag85
I agree; I was done with Bill Mahar over a year ago when he had Mike Rowe on and they talked about how women just don’t want to be plumbers. They thought they fixed the wage gap, everyone–it’s just that the laaaaaydeeeez don’t want to work, and if they would just engage in good, honest, menz work, the wage gap would just disappear. Srsly, fuck that guy.
Isidore, I’m sorry for your loss. š Hugs to you.
Mouse Farts, sending you hugs too from a fellow recently single person.
Everyone else having a hard time: I’m not having the best of times myself so I can relate. *Sends ALL the hugs*
@ghilie
I just saw PZ Myers had the same reacton to Friday night’s episode as I did. I’ve been frustrated with Maher for years, but now it’s just unbearable. I’m becoming smarter, and he’s becoming dumber. :p
Thanks for all the hugs everyone! Baby Henry is doing well. He’s back under the bili lights today, but he is definitely a fighter.
Hugs from me to everyone who could use some.
dhag85 – I had it with Maher when I saw a thing on youtube where he was doing stand up about the ‘feminisation’ of society, which he clearly saw as a BAD THING. But what he meant by feminisation is that women are more visible and audible in more areas of life than they were and he doesn’t like it!
This puts me in mind of the female dominated genres of fiction, and other media representation which I do not like (eg rom books, rom com films, Pinterest, mumsnet, fashion blogs etc), but nonetheless doesn’t mean that the women who like those things do not deserve a place in society!
Maher seems to think that because many interests that are women dominated are non essential to life itself this proves that women are stupid, frivolous and generally just a bit crap! I can think of a lot of male dominated interests that I find utterly dull and certainly not life affirming (boxing, gambling, for instance), but wth does that prove?!
@Ellesar
I think one of the things that pisses me off the most about Maher is the way he pretends to support women, and in the same show he will do some dumbass joke on the theme “women are b*tches, amirite?” and his equally dumbass audience will lap it all up, every single time. Or, like this week, he will pretend to care about trans people because Janet Mock is there, and next week he’ll be back with more transphobic jokes in the opening monologue. IF he can squeeze it in between the endless streams of “Chris Christie is fat” jokes.
He’s got the slimey smugness combined with knowing absolutely nothing about anything ever. I saw someone in the Pharyngula comments said the show should be renamed to The Dunning-Kruger Effect as exemplified by Bill Maher, which I thought was brilliantly spot on.
It’s easy jokes too. He’s a total hack comedian, which pisses me off doubly. Remember in Seinfeld when Jerry is upset that his dentist converted to Judiasm just so he could use Jewish jokes, and when asked if this upsets him as a Jewish person Jerry says “no, it offends me as a comedian”?
In conclusion, AAAAHHHHH
I’m so sorry isidore, all the hugs for you, and you too MouseFarts and WatermelonSugar. Hope y’all have the support and kindness you need right now.
I bounced off the Mammoth for the last few months (work, work and more work) and it’s good to finally have the time to catch up with what’s going on in the Manurosphere in all it’s turdlike glory and start commenting again :). I’m still catching up with the threads and seconding Tracy – I haven’t seen many of regulars around, Cassandrakitty or PoM, pecunium or kittehserf and many others, and their absence is so very noticeable. I hope they’re all ok, they’re much missed.
I’m in touch with kittehserf, actually. I can pass messages if anyone wants. You can email me – fartsmouse at gmail. I don’t bite, but I might cry on you a little bit.
hey gang.
I know I haven’t been around much except to drop the occasional GamerGate-related snarky one-liner and mention my transition or my games or whatever, but I appreciate these threads and they’re a little bit removed from where I normally say stuff so I appreciate the space and I wanted to briefly talk about a thing.
My dad is an early-sixties long-haired radical weirdo who loves to work on the house and his garden and teaches educator-actors to do imagination games with kids and plays the guitar and cusses about reactionary politics and is just generally this amazing galvanized ex-hippie.
A few weeks ago, we learned that he has Stage IV melanoma all over his body. Shoulder, arms, neck, legs. A spinal tap revealed four lesions in his brain.
Since then, my family has been fighting Kaiser Permanente to get him aggressive treatment right the f now, and mostly winning. There’s hope, still but the odds aren’t in his favor to make it to my 2016 wedding.
My dad is determined, mom is optimistic, brother is … unreadable, kinda. I’m personally alternating doing just fine and terrible. My partners have all been great. The community around dad is contributing a lot, and the theatre community has set up a volunteer schedule (with a coordinator!) for dogwalking and bringing food. My best friend even set up a friggin gofundme to help take care of my bills while take time away from work and go down to Maryland to help my family, and my community overfunded it by over half within two days. It’s honestly amazing and if not for everyone being as wonderful as they’ve been, we’d certainly all be doing a lot worse. And dad might already be gone.
But I don’t know how well I’m coping, nor how I’m supposed to. People ask me what I need and I say “I don’t know.” People who’ve had family cancer battles try to commiserate and I react internally really badly, like “I don’t want to hear that you went through this!! that just sucks and it doesn’t help me at all!!!” Part of me just wants the waveform to collapse, to know how much longer I have with dad, even if it’s short. Whether I should try to move the wedding or assume he’ll be able to attend or … or whether there’s not enough time left to even bother.
Thanks for listening, I just don’t always know what I’m doing right now and it feels weird.
@inurashii
That’s horrible. š
I’m sending virtual hugs (if you want them) and $50 your way. Good luck with this.
;_; oh wow thank you. I promise that I was posting the link for reference/clarity and mainly just needed to get my feelings out, but I also appreciate the support a lot. Excess is being held for emergency transportation in the event of sudden bad news.
I would’ve spent it on ice cream anyway. š