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Alex Jones, Men's Rights Activist: We Hunted the Mastodon to Feed You!

Here are some things that Alex Jones, the bellicose conspiracy theorist behind Infowars and Prison Planet, actually believes:

Yep, Alex Jones is a Men’s Rights Activist in all but name.

In the video above, ostensibly an analysis of the “the political and social agenda pushed during the Super Bowl,” Jones argues – and I use the term loosely – that the secret cabal running the world is using the media to tear down men and destroy the patriarchal family.

One of their primary weapons? “Bumbling dad” characters on TV sitcoms, which make men in general, and fathers in particular, look silly. (Huh. I’m pretty sure I’ve heard this one before.) Demonstrating that he has his finger on the pulse of contemporary culture, he cites the examples of Archie Bunker and Al Bundy.

The rest of his rant is fairly typical Alex Jones material, an ominous if mostly incoherent assortment of dubious assertions and dire predictions about the future. Only this time he works in some oh-so-familiar MRA tropes. Strikingly, though his arguments in favor of the patriarchal family are thoroughly sexist, he  displays none of the overt hostility towards women you see amongst Men’s Rightsers, whether on Reddit or on A Voice for Men.

He reminisces about visiting the homes of his alleged “black friends” as a kid, distressed to discover that the mothers were in charge. He suggests that Planned Parenthood’s is up to no good, but doesn’t explain why and tells his listeners to “look it up” themselves. (I looked it up: Apparently they’re a “Eugenics Death Cult.”)

At one point he claims that children are being taught “fisting” in grade school sex-ed classes. No, really.

But my favorite bit comes about 8 minutes in, when Jones, in the midst of explaining away the pay gap between men and women, declares that men are basically hard-wired to work harder than women:

It’s men that are meant to go out and not sleep for three days chasing down mastadons, to run them over the side of a cliff, to haul back enough … meat so that everybody survives for the winter.

That’s right: Alex Jones believes WE HUNTED THE MASTADON TO FEED YOU.

I only skimmed the comments over on Infowars, but I did enjoy this one:

 wlrpaul • 2 days ago  Dirty secret, most women despise and fear men, but spend their entire lives pretending otherwise. They fear male power, male sexual energy, male freedom. Jealous and angry, they refuse to own up to anything, so men become the convenient punching bag.  Mothers thus train their boys into submission, to hate themselves and their gender.  Some externalize this hatred of men by latching onto the CIA funded feminist movement, attacking all men based on a pile of ill conceived, dishonest gripes.  The stuff most men have to put up with, when it comes to women. Imagine, if women were in men's shoes -- the human race would die out, no way would women submit to marriage as a husband, when it would be routine for her children, salary and house to be taken from her at a whim. Talk about powerlessness.  The day we men can bear babies will be the first time in human history when men are truly free of the evils of women. It is just the truth.  BTW, I love women, sure some women are good, many are, but good, marriageable ones who are single for any length of time are as rare as unicorns.

I have to say that I am much less enthusiastic than Wirpaul about the prospect of bearing children, as I am under the impression it hurts a LOT.

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Sissy
Sissy
5 years ago

I have a confession. My dad actually listens to that man’s nonsense when he comes home on Sundays and Mondays. It once got so crazy, my oldest sister who was visiting from Tennessee decided to make a drinking game out of it (like the “word or words of the day”).

I cannot tell you guys how many times I’ve heard the words “Obama” and “Dear Leader”. Rolled my eyes so hard that they almost fell out of my damn head.

Also, note that there was no drinking involved, because nobody wanted to die of alcohol poisoning.

And last I checked, weren’t sitcoms with “bumbling dad” types usually created by/written by OTHER MEN? Just askin’.

weirwoodtreehugger
5 years ago

Misogynists never acknowledge that a lot of paleolithic cultures ate a diet heavily based in fish. You don’t have to be a big manly man to catch fish.

marinerachel
marinerachel
5 years ago

I love so many of our grandmothers’ forearms. They’re so strong from having done so much laundry and food processing.

sb77
sb77
5 years ago

Re: that kids book about suffragettes: Earlier today I was watching a YouTube video with the host of the Young Turks interviewing (and yelling at) a well known “honey badger” who was pontificating on how those naughty suffragettes did all kinds of nefarious things like try to push this one dude off a cliff. I’m not even kidding. Thanks, Shaenon, for showing us her source for these revelations. It must be the only book she has ever read about the history of the women’s movement.

If you want to torture yourself with some of the most idiotic historical revisionism ever:

weirwoodtreehugger
5 years ago

I’m having fun with my Prison Planet DVDs. The one attempting to die George H W Bush to the JFK assassination isn’t that unreasonable as conspiracy theories go. I’m easing into it. Next up 911 truth stuff. Then I’ll move on to Bohemian grove and Arnold Schwarzenegger. I think I’ll save the JFK Jr one for last because it’s the funniest.

Ken L.
5 years ago

Is there a more smug human being in the world the Karen Straughan?

Jennifer King
Jennifer King
5 years ago

Alex Jones latches on to every reactionary movement out there, because the way things were done in the magical past (pre-Abe Lincoln) were more free than the “Orwellian” present. Or he’s a smart businessman, and knows what market to exploit. One of those. So, I’m surprised he hasn’t butted heads with feminists earlier (probably has actually, but tends to reiterate his points as the years go by). The guy says whatever he wants, knowing that when his doomy predictions never come true, and his insightful “investigations” into conspiracy theories go nowhere, he knows his fanbase won’t stop and say “Hey, how come Alex Jones is constantly wrong and never has had a mea culpa?” I think Alex Jones can be best summed up with a quote of his, that really captures his entire career and philosophy

“You see, 666 is a doubling of 33. And 33 is pi.”

Here you go folks (2:36 for the million dollar quote (sorry if the link is screwed up)

http://youtu.be/n9_gUDQe4uE

wordsp1nner
wordsp1nner
5 years ago

33 is pi.

33 is pi.

This is…

WOW.

And he probably has gone after feminism before, but he’s just so… so 33 is pi, that nobody bothers to listen to him to find out.

Not only is he divorced from reality, reality served him a restraining order.

Mari
Mari
5 years ago

I’ve encountered a lot of strange ideas over time. I’ve read bullshit from the pseudoscientists (with obsessions ranging from outer space to the weather to evil vaccinations), the sovereign citizens, the rabid homophobes, the nasty racists, the Truthers, the Birthers, the assassination theorists, and, of course, the misogynists. It’s fascinating how they all seem to dovetail into one well of incoherence called Alex Jones. I think I’ll develop a conspiracy theory about it.

Jarnsaxa
Jarnsaxa
5 years ago

I do hate the bumbling idiot dad/angry shrew mom sitcom pairing. It makes both stereotypes look awful–but that doesn’t make it misandry.

weirwoodtreehugger
5 years ago

33 is pi? Oh my.

And how is 666 a doubling of 33?

I guess my sheeple brain has been too brainwashed by the New World Order to comprehend this advanced math.

GrumpyOldMan
5 years ago

Actually a lot of the bumbling father sitcoms (at least when I was young) seemed to have not an angry shrewish mom but a shrewd mom (or housekeeper when, frequently, mom was dead) who quietly kept bumbling dad from getting into really serious trouble — sort of pricking the bubble of the pretenses of patriarchal infallibility.

Mrex
Mrex
5 years ago

The main benefit of infowars is I can tell when the SUV on front of me is owned by a character while I’m sitting in line waiting to drop my kids off at school. I’m still trying to figure out who the last SUV belonged to. My guess is the it’s the lone lady who spends too much breath protesting common core standards. She’s the only female conspiracy theorist I know. The rest are middle aged conservative men. A few beers in with them and the good times roll.

There was a “fisting” controversy at a local school in the 90s. Turns out that “teaching a how to guide on fisting”=mentioning that it, and lesbian sex, exists. Why does it seem that all these guys are so hung up on fisting?

I give Alex Jones free speech props, at least. I could never get past the whole reptilian people thing. It actually scares me when he’s right about something, as I find myself second guessing all my logic just because he agrees. :/

Thread needs more reptilian people.

wordsp1nner
wordsp1nner
5 years ago

He reminds me of NWOSlave, but possibly even less coherent. At least NWOSlave had the decency to stick to text.

Jarnsaxa
Jarnsaxa
5 years ago

Hmm. Let’s see, “Everybody Loves Raymond” and “Modern Family” both have that sitcom dynamic. Sometimes the wife is the “only adult in the house” stereotype, like in “Home Improvement,” but other times she’s just a mean person (I could never watch “Everybody Loves Raymond” because she struck me as actually abusive).

weirwoodtreehugger
5 years ago

The CIA was founded in 1947. I’m sure the founding date of feminism is open to debate but for sure it existed in the 1800s.

Also, feminism has never been exclusive to the US. Is it their contention that the CIA funds it globally? Or just domestically?

Apparently people think the CIA has been around for the entirety of US history. When I Google CIA founding date, CIA founding fathers is what got autofilled.

Bina
Bina
5 years ago

Well, SHIT. Here I am, almost daily denouncing the CIA’s real, actual skulduggery on my blog.

No wonder I never get paid to sit on my ass and eat scented fucking candles.

Nathan Hevenstone
5 years ago

About the “Bill Hicks is Alex Jones” conspiracy… I hate to say it, but Bill Hicks would probably have a lot in common with Alex Jones were he still alive. Worse, there’s a chance Hicks might have even been an MRA.

I am actually somewhat of a fan. I was obsessed with Hicks for a while, and even got my hands on a lot of unreleased stuff. He is actually the one who introduced me to the ideas of skepticism and freethought (I know… I know… shut up). I adored his anti-Reagan and anti-Bush rants, his anti-war rants, and his rants against politics in general. I empathized oh so much with his rants against modern (for him 90’s) Top 40 music, and at the time I was a misanthropic little shit. I came so damn close to worshiping the guy as a prophet at one point, just before I started losing my faith. It’s actually kinda sad, looking back on it now, just how close I came to worshiping him… all I needed was an alter, really…

However, Hicks was a top-tier conspiracy theorist (starting with Kennedy and going from there). I can actually kind of understand why some people think Alex Jones may be Bill Hicks.

But there are some problems:
1) They don’t actually look alike.
2) They sound nothing alike.
3) Alex Jones is extremely religious. While Bill Hicks did believe in a personal higher power, he hated religion, especially Christianity, with an almost bigoted-like passion (which might be considered okay if you think hating Christianity is punching up… and he was much more tolerant of Christians, choosing instead to attack the religion itself, the Bible, and fanatics).
4) Alex Jones is extremely conservative. Bill Hicks, by contrast, was hella left-wing. Granted, he was a Libertarian, but he was one of those rare “Socialist Libertarians” we occasionally hear about but always somehow manage to miss actually hearing from.

So in a couple extremely important ways, Jones and Hicks are nearly the exact opposite of each other. And I seriously doubt that Hicks could keep it up for this long.

No… Bill Hicks is dead. Alex Jones is a separate person.

Bina
Bina
5 years ago

Also, if the CIA is funding feminism, then why are so many feminist groups all over the world opposed to it?

Alex?

http://chauvetproblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/smell-the-color-9.jpg

gilshalos
5 years ago

Beaker!

portlantonio
5 years ago

@Mrex, oh there are other Alex Jonesians besides Middle-Aged men, unfortunately.

I used to live in Austin, TX, where Jones and his wack-jobbery are based. Plenty of rich-kid twenty-somethings who so desperately wanted to believe they were part of some fight against the world order.
His trash print-paper is even available for free at delis and hamburger joints and such. Right next to the Onion.

I picked it up once, expecting a laugh. Instead I was so pissed I couldn’t eat. He’d written a three page editorial days after the Sandy Hook Massacre saying that the kid who did the shooting must have been brain washed by the government, that it was too convenient a ploy for “dear leader” to take our guns.

And god, chem trails. I couldn’t escape people talking about chem trails.
“There’s a pretty clear explanation for those.”
“Any scientist that says that is part of the conspiracy.”

My impression of him, at least living there, was that he was Rush Limbaugh for hipsters.

M. the Social Justice Ranger
M. the Social Justice Ranger
5 years ago

My knowledge of Alex Jones is limited to how I used to joke that right-wing conspiracy theorists probably think that Obama has a time machine only to find out that Alex Jones actually does believe that, and I intend to keep it that way.

leftwingfox
5 years ago

@David: Huh. Alex Jones may have proved that the truth isn’t stranger than fiction, but the truth is certainly pretty interesting. Thanks. 🙂

wordsp1nner
wordsp1nner
5 years ago

This has nothing to do with Alex Jones, but you need to watch the cougar bit at the end… it is hilarious.

GrumpyOldMan
5 years ago

“Also, if the CIA is funding feminism, then why are so many feminist groups all over the world opposed to it?”

Bina, you should know better than anyone else that feminist opposition to the CIA is merely a black flag operation to fool the sheeple.

Once you accept that black can be white, up can be down, and in fact absolutely nothing is what it appears to be, you can explain the most impossible things. You can believe that 9/11 was an inside job and the government harvested airliner parts from a crash in the Andes and dropped them from military transport planes onto the Pentagon lawn without anyone being the wiser and without any of the hundreds of US troops that must have been involved either objecting or squealing.

By the way, Matt Taibbi did a hilarious account of how the plotting conversion between Cheney Rumsfeld et. al. would have gone: http://www.alternet.org/story/42181/the_idiocy_behind_the_%279_11_truth%27_movement

Boogerghost
5 years ago

I can only buy the “‘bumbling dad’ representation is hateful” argument in cases where the character’s gender is the explicit source of the bumbling. And even then, it’s more stupid and lazy writing than it is hate. When people in your demographic are represented in such a huge variety of ways, a few bumbling dads represent, if anything at all other than narrative choices, PERMISSION for a man to be bumbling.

If and when they do use “reflections” of masculine characteristics in real life to joke at the expense of or criticize (innocent) men in general, it can be unfortunate, but alongside all the male snide attorneys and male inventive programmers and male fame-hungry musicians and male underappreciated painters and male lewd professors and male tasteful politicians and male kindly poets and male earnest call center employees and all the different types of people males are allowed to be on television, I’d say the effect is comparatively minimal. Men are still put in a box, but it’s a much, much roomier box.

I think one day I’m going to make a silly video about this that uses the acronym “RUMP” (Reflect, Unfold, Mandate, Permit) and share it with you all.

Mewens
Mewens
5 years ago

I’m still trying to process how “we hunted the mastodon” can live in the same world as “not all men.”

Like, you want credit for some asshole killing an animal 15,000 years ago? Then you get to take credit for some asshole stalking a woman last March, jerkoff.

Wetherby
5 years ago

The CIA was founded in 1947. I’m sure the founding date of feminism is open to debate but for sure it existed in the 1800s.

I certainly would be mildly surprised to discover that Mary Wollstonecraft (1759-97) had had CIA backing. But I’m clearly not joining the dots in the right way.

Spindrift
Spindrift
5 years ago

@Mrex “Why does it seem that all these guys are so hung up on fisting?”

I can only assume it’s cause there’s no penis involved, making it the height of misandry!
Especially considering their laughable beliefs on how vaginas break down from being used. They might think it’s a conspiracy to stretch all the vaginas till they won’t be able to please any man! Misandry!!! The CIA is probably in on it too! Government misandry!!!!

(obvious sarcasm is obvious, there’s no such thing as misandry)

Orion
Orion
5 years ago

This is what I know about Alex Jones, one day he will go super saiyan:

http://youtu.be/uR2UXmTGK4M

(Hope this works)(If not copy/paste it’s a 14 second clip and it’s hilarious)

Brazen Lee
5 years ago

LOOOOL!!! What a fucking ass hat. WOW.

M. the Social Justice Ranger
M. the Social Justice Ranger
5 years ago

Like, you want credit for some asshole killing an animal 15,000 years ago? Then you get to take credit for some asshole stalking a woman last March, jerkoff.

Reminds me of #GamerGate: Any small amount of charity is from all of them, but the dizzying amounts of rape and death threats are from none of them.

Cheryl Kerkin
5 years ago

Referring to all the nonsense about hunting mastodians (do they score more points than mammoths? FFS…) I suddenly remembered a book I read many years ago, and still have. The Descent of Woman by Elaine Morgan. She was not a scientist but took it upon herself to wade into anthropology after losing her patience with the type of nonsense written by Desmond Morris and the proponents of the ‘Man,The Mighty Hunter’ baloney. She coined the term “hunter gatherer”. Morris for instance, came up with the idea that women developed breasts to mimic our buttocks, the better to entice men to copulate ‘frontways’ and thereby begin to pairbond. Many male anthropologists tend to theorise that everything about women, body and mind, has developed to make men happy, in the ways men believe they have to be happy. Elaine Morgan toppled Tarzan. She was logical, coherent and what she said was obvious, the minute she said it. I.e. breasts developed because they protrude and are easier for a baby to grasp when feeding. The book will also make you laugh out loud. Some details could do with updating now, but I think Ms Morgan is no longer with us and the body of her book is to this day, I think, underestimated as an academic text. Maybe many people here know of it. If you haven’t, read it and laugh! – http://www.amazon.com/The-Descent-Woman-Classic-Evolution/product-reviews/0285627007/ref=cm_cr_pr_top_link_1/187-6568193-9321700?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=0&sortBy=bySubmissionDateDescending

Kootiepatra
5 years ago

Re: the Bumbling Dad trope – Yeah, it’s unflattering on paper, but I think it’s not quite as simple as a negative stereotype. Because while these sitcom dads do bumble up a storm, they are also the main protagonists of the story. They’re doofs, but they’re lovable doofs that you can’t stay mad at. Besides, everything works out in the end. And the consequence of their doofiness is that they should be left to the couch in front of a game with a beer, so a) they’re happy, and b) they don’t mess up the house and/or kids.

And yeah, if you’re a guy who cares about keeping up with the house and kids, that’s going to be (rightly) insulting. But if you’re a guy who thinks your wife really should be doing those things anyway, then it’s a pretty convenient out. “Oh, but gee, honey, you’re so much better at loading the dishwasher than I am. You’re such an amazing cook, why don’t I just stay out of your way.” etc. etc. The wife is put on a pedestal for being apparently smarter or more capable, but she’s derided as a nag if she complains about carrying a disproportionate amount of the family/housework.

I guess what I’m trying to get at is that, generally, in media, when wives are portrayed as juvenile, it allows their husband to dismiss them and their ideas since they clearly don’t know what’s best. But when husbands are portrayed as juvenile, it’s to let them off the hook for doing hard grownup things that should really be their wives’ jobs anyway.

So yeah, the Bumbling Dad is a negative stereotype, but it was invented to reinforce a patriarchal status quo.

The Big Banana
The Big Banana
5 years ago

Oh lordy, the bumbling dad thing.

This isn’t even the negative trope it appears to be. It’s actually celebrating and promoting men over women, as per usual. It’s “look at these funny guys and their boring wives!”

No one’s favourite Simpsons character is Marge (sorry to any unexpected Marge fans out there!)

These characters are usually the heroes and main focus of the shows. I wager that if someone made a gender swapped version of the trope, with a wacky wife and her sensible, intelligent husband, the MRAs would complain about it not focusing on the dude.

Lea
Lea
5 years ago

You know who else has to stay up for days straight? Parents of coliky babies. Babies that could only be nursed then. Little ones must be nursed around every two hours, 24 hours a day. I did not sleep all night long until my baby did and I didn’t have to fend off predators and scramble to find enough food to meet the additional 800 calories a day my body needed to make enough milk to keep a growing baby healthy. Women still got the postpartum back then. It must have been hellish.

Ever watch the “Living with the _____” shows where two dudes go live with people who are still living as their people have since forever? The women do all of the day to day labor and most of the food production.

These babymen could not survive a day as a prehistoric woman.

howlcat
5 years ago

The day we men can bear babies will be the first time in human history when men are truly free of the evils of women.

Yet more research for this project, I assume. I don’t suppose the prospect of becoming less of an asshole is more appealing to these people than something so… fictional? No? Let’s just keep working on life without women.

@Orion: That super saiyan clip was hilarious 🙂

WatermelonSugar
WatermelonSugar
5 years ago

Off topic, but I know you all will enjoy it–Buzzfeed has a great new story up about our pal, Paul:

http://www.buzzfeed.com/adamserwer/how-mens-rights-leader-paul-elam-turned-being-a-deadbeat-dad?s=mobile

David gets a shout-out! And it’s by ICMI14 veteran/AVFM Hate Machine target Serwer! And Esmay is already stinking up the comment section! Wheeeee.

I am sick with flu, so I am sorry I haven’t been commenting more. I just had to share this.

Lea
Lea
5 years ago

Alex?

Beaker!

Dr. Scott!

AAAtheist
5 years ago

It’s men that are meant to go out and not sleep for three days chasing down [mastodons], to run them over the side of a cliff, to haul back enough … meat so that everybody survives for the winter.

When’s the last time Alex Jones gave a woman anything but a stress headache or an increasing sense of dread and regret? Women are waiting on those mastodon burgers he seemingly wants to cook up and serve them out of the generosity of his big male heart.

Oh, right. Alex Jones would have been the Nice Guy™ of the Clovis world, expecting “payment” for his excellent mastodon-stabbing skills.  I’m sure Clovis women could get their own mastodon meat, if they wanted it, without Clovis Alex’s “help.”

AltoFronto
AltoFronto
5 years ago

Hehehe. In my head, I gender-swapped Wirpaul’s first 3 paragraphs and replaced “CIA funded feminist” with “Men’s Rights” and it rings much more true. Classic projection. 😀

gilshalos
5 years ago

Janet!

ssaly88
5 years ago

Every time I hear the phrase, “I love women, but ,” I think of the song “That Ain’t Love” by REO Speedwagon.

Now I want to listen to that song.

chrisnordlander
chrisnordlander
5 years ago

So what, are we going to have to change the domain name again now?

chrisnordlander
chrisnordlander
5 years ago

Also, many people making good points about the “bumbling dad” stereotype.

Falconer
5 years ago

So in case you read the suffragette book and wondered what the hell a tailor’s goose is… it is an iron. Of the heavy iron kind, not the nice light heated kind.

Family lore says a great-something grandma was a laundress and had arms like steel because of it.

Thank you, I was wondering. Although actual gooses are scary enough, I wouldn’t blame anybody for running all the way home.

So the score stands at one sufferget drowned, one whipped, one implied to be severely injured or dead, and one who is arguably dead.

Jolly.

fruitloopsie
fruitloopsie
5 years ago

http://mylittlefacewhen.com/f/8608/
This Alex guy has taken the red pill hasn’t he? I heard it has acid in it. Btw you know whom makes those sitcoms? Men. Not women not aliens but men. Most of the things we watch and listen to are men, by men for men with male leads. Men are not opressed when they rule and own most of the world.

Alex
“Women are pretending to fear men but they really are jealous”

You mean after years of been physically, emotionally and sexually abused by my father and been taught the ‘boys will be boys’ phrase is just me being jealous and not afraid of being around guys? Okey dokey smoky

Alex
“Mothers train their sons into submission to hate themselves and their gender”

I’v read about men and been around men at church that it’s their misoygnist fathers that made them hate their fathers, themselves and their gender. It’s mostly Misogny that creates misandry. But I know that there are abusive mothers I can’t understand why this is feminism fault.

Alex
“I love women”

Lol mras/puas/red pillers be like “I love women”
And I be like:
http://youtu.be/G2y8Sx4B2Sk
Love is when you care about someone very much, you are kind to them because it’s the right thing to do and not just be doing it to get something back, you hold them close to your heart and willing to protect them. Love is very special. What you feel is ‘lust’ you don’t see us as individual human beings you just love us for our bodies that’s it.

Everything else he said is the acid talking he wouldn’t last a day as a woman and bearing children yeah good luck with that but no seriously don’t have children, I can’t imagine what the poor dears will go through with someone like him.

Falconer
5 years ago

Rocky!