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antifeminism imaginary oppression incoherent rage mansplaining MRA none dare call it conspiracy patriarchy

Alex Jones, Men's Rights Activist: We Hunted the Mastodon to Feed You!

Here are some things that Alex Jones, the bellicose conspiracy theorist behind Infowars and Prison Planet, actually believes:

Yep, Alex Jones is a Men’s Rights Activist in all but name.

In the video above, ostensibly an analysis of the “the political and social agenda pushed during the Super Bowl,” Jones argues – and I use the term loosely – that the secret cabal running the world is using the media to tear down men and destroy the patriarchal family.

One of their primary weapons? “Bumbling dad” characters on TV sitcoms, which make men in general, and fathers in particular, look silly. (Huh. I’m pretty sure I’ve heard this one before.) Demonstrating that he has his finger on the pulse of contemporary culture, he cites the examples of Archie Bunker and Al Bundy.

The rest of his rant is fairly typical Alex Jones material, an ominous if mostly incoherent assortment of dubious assertions and dire predictions about the future. Only this time he works in some oh-so-familiar MRA tropes. Strikingly, though his arguments in favor of the patriarchal family are thoroughly sexist, he  displays none of the overt hostility towards women you see amongst Men’s Rightsers, whether on Reddit or on A Voice for Men.

He reminisces about visiting the homes of his alleged “black friends” as a kid, distressed to discover that the mothers were in charge. He suggests that Planned Parenthood’s is up to no good, but doesn’t explain why and tells his listeners to “look it up” themselves. (I looked it up: Apparently they’re a “Eugenics Death Cult.”)

At one point he claims that children are being taught “fisting” in grade school sex-ed classes. No, really.

But my favorite bit comes about 8 minutes in, when Jones, in the midst of explaining away the pay gap between men and women, declares that men are basically hard-wired to work harder than women:

It’s men that are meant to go out and not sleep for three days chasing down mastadons, to run them over the side of a cliff, to haul back enough … meat so that everybody survives for the winter.

That’s right: Alex Jones believes WE HUNTED THE MASTADON TO FEED YOU.

I only skimmed the comments over on Infowars, but I did enjoy this one:

 wlrpaul • 2 days ago  Dirty secret, most women despise and fear men, but spend their entire lives pretending otherwise. They fear male power, male sexual energy, male freedom. Jealous and angry, they refuse to own up to anything, so men become the convenient punching bag.  Mothers thus train their boys into submission, to hate themselves and their gender.  Some externalize this hatred of men by latching onto the CIA funded feminist movement, attacking all men based on a pile of ill conceived, dishonest gripes.  The stuff most men have to put up with, when it comes to women. Imagine, if women were in men's shoes -- the human race would die out, no way would women submit to marriage as a husband, when it would be routine for her children, salary and house to be taken from her at a whim. Talk about powerlessness.  The day we men can bear babies will be the first time in human history when men are truly free of the evils of women. It is just the truth.  BTW, I love women, sure some women are good, many are, but good, marriageable ones who are single for any length of time are as rare as unicorns.

I have to say that I am much less enthusiastic than Wirpaul about the prospect of bearing children, as I am under the impression it hurts a LOT.

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Hyena Girl
5 years ago

Alert! Alert!
Code Mango!
He’s onto us!

greyskye
greyskye
5 years ago

Dammit, Wirpaul has rumbled us. I wondered why my Feminist check from the CIA was less this month than it was last month.

Fnoicby
Fnoicby
5 years ago

I just love it how wirpaul throws out the “CIA funded feminist movement” as if it requires no explanation.

Radioactive Elephant
Radioactive Elephant
5 years ago

Whelp… time to bust out the ol’ shredder.

tooimpurenangel
5 years ago

I’m not sure if I’m horrified or amused? I mean, I’ve heard of him before but seeing his beliefs laid out like that is pretty magical, you know?

Radioactive Elephant
Radioactive Elephant
5 years ago

Fnoicby:

I just love it how wirpaul throws out the “CIA funded feminist movement” as if it requires no explanation.

Does it really need one? Is there one that would make it less stupid than saying “CIA funded feminist movement”?

tooimpurenangel
5 years ago

Reptilian funded feminist movement?

Andrew Johnston
5 years ago

At one point he claims that children are being taught “fisting” in grade school sex-ed classes. No, really.

Couple possible sources for that, but it’s probably based on a nugget of bullshit that was lobbed at Kevin Jennings. Among the materials distributed by GLSEN over the years was a pamphlet demonstrating how to turn a latex glove into a dental dam; Some right-wing crank (Peter LaBarbera, I think) saw a glove and decided that this was a “fisting kit.”

isidore13
isidore13
5 years ago

Hey, did anyone else not get their check from the CIA? Feels like I’ve been waiting for that for yeeeeears.

esp
esp
5 years ago

Even if the mastadon thing were true they don’t realise that often in tribal cultures the men spend a short time hunting for meat then spend the rest of the time sitting on their asses or getting high. Whereas the women work all of the time – sourcing the vast majority of the food, processing and preparing it(often extremely laboriously), looking after the kids etc. Presumably stone age people lived in a similar manner;

“Eat yer hunk of mammoth woman but you better get a fire made and cook it for me cause I’m gonna be loaded offa shaman juice in 5 minutes.” – neolithic man living the mra dream.

Jo
Jo
5 years ago

The cheques might be late from time to time, but the black helicopter that brings me cupcakes on my birthday makes it all worthwhile.

Mercy
Mercy
5 years ago

MRAs want to be the ones who get pregnant and bear children? Be my guest, I say! Have at it. It’ll take some serious science, but I’m all for that. >.<

Cheryl Kerkin
5 years ago

The man is ill.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
5 years ago

Does anyone else think that Bill Hicks might have faked his own death and is now pretending to be Alex Jones as part of some weird comedy performance art projec?

Or is that just me?

tooimpurenangel
5 years ago

I never had, but I’m kind of loving the idea.

GrumpyOld Man
5 years ago

It’s a testimony to the lack of critical thinking in US life that anybody listens to this very disturbed man for more than twenty seconds.

weirwoodtreehugger
5 years ago

Another thing Alex Jones believes; George W Bush assassinated John F Kennedy Jr. using a Manchurian candidate who Co piloted the plane and crashed on purpose. Apparently, to be a top Illuminati member you have to assassinate someone.

I have some Prison Planet DVDs my mom’s coworker gave her. I might have to watch them tonight.

Sara Flower Kjeldsen
5 years ago

Lol seriously wtf?

GrumpyOldMan
5 years ago

It’s a testimony to the failure of critical thinking in the US that anyone listens to this terminally bewildered man for more than 20 seconds.

Cyberwulf
Cyberwulf
5 years ago

Is there any evidence at all that only men did the hunting back in the Stone Age? Idk, it doesn’t make a lot of sense to me that you would deliberately exclude half of the young, fit, able-bodied members of the tribe from hunting expeditions. Surely the more people out running and wielding spears the better.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
5 years ago

Yey! I am so glad that we are actually discussing actually hunting mammoths on this site. 🙂

I’m having to do my Internet stuff on my phone for a few days ’cause away from home so can’t ponpontificate at length as I am usually want to do (suspect there’ll be a lot of relief at that). There are some really interesting points about gender relationships involved though so I’d have loved to natter about it.

If this thread is still going when I get back near a proper keyboard I’ll bore you to tears with dubious theories about hunter gathering and the shift from beneficent Matriarchy to oppressive patriarchy.

Also “Flint knapping and the foundations of Capitalism” 🙂

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
5 years ago

Argh, Cyberwolf is going to anticipate one of my points (and no doubt going to illustrate it better than I could)!

marinerachel
marinerachel
5 years ago

There wasn’t much big-game hunting in the past. Spear-hunting mammoths only happened if there was a weak animal readily available. The way early people actually procured meat: they set snares. Everyone did.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
5 years ago

One starting point for all this is to note that, contrary to popular myth,mammoth hunting was neither particularly arduous or dangerous. It was so low cost that hunters could afford to slaughter numerous animals and only consume the very nice bits (basically imagine today only using the fillet from cows and throwing the rest away)

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
5 years ago

@ marinerachel

Yup, along with the occasional cliff drive.

katz
5 years ago

It was so low cost that hunters could afford to slaughter numerous animals and only consume the very nice bits (basically imagine today only using the fillet from cows and throwing the rest away)

They were only able to carry 100 pounds back to the wagon.

GrumpyOldMan
5 years ago

I think the theory was that in primitive societies you would lose so many women to disease in pregnancy or in childbirth, and then so many children would die before reaching reproductive age, that you could not afford to risk losing the reproductive capacity of women in the process of hunting a dangerous animal. In order to keep your reproductive success at or above replacement, you could risk losing a few men but not women, as the men’s reproductive contribution could be replaced. Of course nobody has any idea whether this is true — it probably was in some environments and not in others.

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
5 years ago

Dirty secret, most women despise and fear men, but spend their entire lives pretending otherwise. They fear male power, male sexual energy, male freedom. Jealous and angry, they refuse to own up to anything, so men become the convenient punching bag.

Lessee, lessee… Where did I put my…

http://media1.giphy.com/media/w6MNHOoLEzBVm/200.gif

No, no that’s not it. Here?

http://www.fayetteville-ga.gov/vertical/Sites/{7C2ED344-BB55-4347-B057-121AA147A84D}/uploads/inspection_.gif

No, no. Ah, so scatterbrained these days. Was it…?

http://i456.photobucket.com/albums/qq287/schoolcounselor4kids/FirewallProtection.jpg

Close, but not quite. Hang on… Ah, here we go!

http://www.animated-gifs.eu/leisure-cinema-projection/0020.gif

*sigh* Beautiful.

Shaenon
5 years ago

This is making the rounds of the Internet, but I wanted to make sure everyone saw and enjoyed this anti-feminist picture book from 1910.

http://www.slate.com/blogs/the_vault/2015/02/04/history_of_anti_suffrage_movements_children_s_book.html

The only thing that’s changed in a century is that MRAs aren’t as good at drawing anymore. (Extra irony: whoever drew this is clearly copying the style of popular lady cartoonist Grace Drayton, who created the Campbell’s Soup Kids and founded the U.S.’s oldest society of women artists.)

seraph4377
5 years ago

The conspiracy theories are always so intricate. So many figures in the shadows. So many whispers and hints. And they always talk about things like the CIA like they were entities in themselves, instead of collections of people. I think they would be deeply disappointed if someone turned on the lights and revealed that, even if they’re absolutely right, the world is secretly ruled by…a bunch of rich old men sitting around a board room.

Maybe that’s why somebody made up the Reptilians.

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
5 years ago

Huh. So… uhh… that was the first time I had ever watched or listened to Alex Jones. I expected… well, I expected a different accent for starters. I dunno what I expected, maybe something more like the midwestern media voice.

But wow, I expected at least a little coherency. A guy who’s relatively famous that people listen to should be able to hold a single train of thought for just a little bit, right? Good god, I couldn’t follow him at all. Practically the only thing that I could parse out was little one-liners like “women being the head of the household is bad” and “men hunted the mastodons.” The rest was just a stream-of-consciousness mess.

He surely had a script, I saw him look down at a set of papers. How do people listen to this guy and even figure out what he’s saying long enough to nod in agreement? Do they just wait for the one-liners of “Planned Parenthood is evil” and treat the rest as filler?

Buttercup Q. Skullpants

Imagine, if women were in men’s shoes – the human race would die out, no way would women submit to marriage as a husband

I bet you’d find a lot more takers for this, than MRAs willing to submit to marriage as one of their own wives.

Funny how the grass is alway greener right over the septic tank.

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
5 years ago

@seraph4377:

Based on what I just watched, the reason these conspiracy theories seem so intricate, with so many moving parts, is because those parts are actually just thrown together at random. They whisper and hint because they don’t have any real model in mind; they just imply the connections strongly enough so you get the sense that they must exist but never bother working out what they actually are.

Shalimar
Shalimar
5 years ago

I would love to hear his explanation for why the CIA funds the feminist movement. They have done a lot of evil shit over the years, but at core the CIA is an overwhelmingly male reactionary organization that acts against foreign and domestic enemies to protect traditional american power structures. I can’t think of any way at all that the CIA would benefit from funding feminism to undermine american men.

ej
ej
5 years ago

I’m glad to hear the CIA funding came through. I was starting to worry that I was going to run out of money for bonbons and scented candles.

Boogerghost
5 years ago

@Fnoicby I know, right? So is the CIA full of manginas in feminism’s pocket, or is the whole organization secretly women?

@Katz That was indeed beautiful.

boogerghost
boogerghost
5 years ago

@Shaenon CAKE EVERY DAY

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
5 years ago

@ David

Whilst we’re on the subject of the Suffragists any chance of an article on Edith Garrud?

As you may have sussed from my previous posts I’m a bit of a fancy of hers. 🙂

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
5 years ago

*fanboy*!

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
5 years ago

On a boring non mammoth related serious note, the UBL and Aldrich Aimes teams were headed by and mainly staffed by women.

katz
5 years ago

I, for one, support the cake every day platform.

chaltab
chaltab
5 years ago

Dammit my brother listens to this asshole.

Fabe
Fabe
5 years ago

I think Alex Jones where to tell his theories to Fox Mulder and the Lone Gunmen they would just smile and start to back away slowly.

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
5 years ago

@David:

Also, everyone, watch the Alex Jones video I linked to about Mr. Pickles and his Satanic agenda!

O__________________________O

This guy is paid to do this. Paid to take a cartoon that is so painfully, blindingly obviously going over the top with satanic imagery and “analyze” all the blatantly purposeful satanic imagery as if it were some subtle thing. Paid to “analyze” a cartoon by putting a camera in front of his computer and manually scrub back and forth on windows media player.

I can’t wait for the thrilling expose where he takes a jar of peanut butter and reveals all the blatant peanutty imagery, opening the lid to reveal… well, I’ll let you look it up.

The add for pills at the end was a nice touch. Made by super expensive ingredients (really really expensive) that do… something… (did I mention really expensive?) sold with random assortments of sciencey things and people in lab coats (like, super expensive, even though we’re giving it to you so cheap). That was an experience.

Maybe Paul Elam could learn a thing or two about fleecing his audience.

wordsp1nner
wordsp1nner
5 years ago

@ tooimpurenangel, I am actually going to have to disagree with you. I think CIA-funded feminism is actually less likely than reptilian-funded feminism, because we have evidence that the CIA is patriarchal and anti-feminist (also racist, colonialist, etc.). There is no evidence that reptilians exist, ergo there is no evidence that they are anti-feminist.

They might even be related to these lizards: http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/asexual-lizards/

ParadoxicalIntention
5 years ago

It’s men that are meant to go out and not sleep for three days chasing down mastadons, to run them over the side of a cliff, to haul back enough … meat so that everybody survives for the winter.

Yeah, but that was…how long ago now?

We’ve moved on from this. People work jobs and buy their meat pre-packaged, and we’ve done it that way for ages. We don’t need to go hunting anymore.

Why is it guys who think like this like to claim past men’s glories as if we should drop to our knees and worship them for it now? Like “I’m descended from a paleolithic man who used to hunt mastodons for the wimmens.” Great. So did we feeeemales. Or did you forget? Seriously, any past human glory that these men want to jump on to prove their point now women can claim too, regardless of the gender of those doing it.

Because we’re descended from these people. My grandpa was in the navy during World War II, do I get to claim his military service? Fuck no, it makes no borking sense, doesn’t add anything to the conversation, and it’d be disrespectful to do so.

Oh, but where do I claim the mastodons on my tax returns?

marinerachel
marinerachel
5 years ago

Dear god, I think the tenth little sufferget actually broke her head and died at the end.

wordsp1nner
wordsp1nner
5 years ago

So in case you read the suffragette book and wondered what the hell a tailor’s goose is… it is an iron. Of the heavy iron kind, not the nice light heated kind.

Family lore says a great-something grandma was a laundress and had arms like steel because of it.

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