Categories
evil sexy ladies gloating hypergamy men who really shouldn't be making movies men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny nice guys patronizing as heck post contains jokes post contains sarcasm reactionary bullshit red pill

New Red Pill film masterpiece offers devastating criticism of women who grow old

Good news, everyone! Another Red Piller has made another terrible short film!

“Naughty Nomad,” a Red Pill travel writer who claims to be known as “The Indiana Jones of Pussy,” has produced a not-quite nine-minute film called I Can Do Better. As he explains it on his website, the little drama “explores themes like hypergamy, female entitlement and spinsterhood.” So if you’re into all that you are in luck!

I don’t want to spoil anything, but rest assured that in the film an old woman apparently sort of regrets rejecting some dudes back when she was younger.

The film isn’t as technically, er, challenged as Davis Aurini’s masterpiece Lust in the Time of Heartache, nor does it include any play-fighting ninjas in fedoras and ill-fitting suits. But it makes up for these deficiencies with some awesomely inept acting — and a script that seems to have come straight from the Red Pill subreddit.

In the film, set in the present day, a young woman named Sonia with an assortment of hair styles rejects a succession of suitors, declaring each time that she could “do better.” (Evidently she is supposed to be aging, as everyone knows that young women with shoulder-length black hair eventually mature into women with long blonde hair.)

In the final scene, also seemingly set in the present day, Sonia has suddenly been transformed into an old woman. But she’s up to her old tricks, rejecting a similarly old suitor because she still thinks she can “do better.” At least that’s what she tells her son and his family, who are waiting in her apartment to drink coffee and eat cookies with her.

But then they suddenly vanish. See, they were imaginary, because no woman who rejects dudes that other people think they should be grateful to date can ever hope to have children.

Apparently this is supposed to be a sad ending, at least for her, even though she gets to eat all of the cookies herself.

There is also a Russian version of the film, in case you were wondering, “hey, is there a Russian version of this film?” Though I’m not sure why you would be wondering that, frankly.

H/T — TheBluePill subreddit

Subscribe
Notify of
guest

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

190 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
FrieVonFrieburger
FrieVonFrieburger
5 years ago

Wow. That’s some Birdemic levels of acting and overdubbing right there.

Mrex
Mrex
5 years ago

But it’s probably a good sign that no, you should definitely not sign a lifelong commitment with that person.-kootiepatra

Depends. Commitment is always a big risk, and some level of cold feet are the rule, not the exception. It’s really important to get down to the reason why you’re afraid in the relationship, and work out your own fears. You want to separate your own fear from the legitimate problems in the relationship so that you can make as rational of a decision as possible.

I would say that at the same time someone desperate for a relationship should ask why they are so afraid of being alone, and work out their fears, so that they can make a rational decision based on the strengths of the relationship and not their irrational fears. I think the saddest thing is to die asking “what if”, because decisions where made based on fear, whether that fear was of being alone, or of being vulnerable and intimate.

Just my opinion.

Mrex
Mrex
5 years ago

Let me just put this out there, as I don’t think its been mentioned yet;

Every man sucks in some way, just as every women sucks in some way. We’re all human, we’re all flawed. This doesn’t mean that everyone’s compatible, but no-one’e perfect, and I hate this “knight in shining armor” ideal that we inadvertently teach our children by making kid’s movies so damn unrealistic. “Happily ever after” my ass.

Not to mention that despite what fairytales say, not everyone’s cut out to be, or wants to be, in a relationship-male or female.

Mrex
Mrex
5 years ago

Let me also give out the best dating/marriage advice I ever got; “go into your wedding with your eyes wide open, live in your marriage with your eyes half shut.”

I fucked up the wording, but I think the intent is clear. 😉

ParadoxicalIntention
5 years ago

Mrex

[…]and I hate this “knight in shining armor” ideal that we inadvertently teach our children by making kid’s movies so damn unrealistic. “Happily ever after” my ass.

I read somewhere that a knight in “shining armor” must be a pretty shitty knight if they don’t at least have a scratch, some dents, or at least a patch here or there.

Means they haven’t gone into battle for long enough.

Professor fate
Professor fate
5 years ago

Honestly I’ve never quite understood why for a woman not getting married is considered some horrible failure while it’s not treated as such for a man – gets my goat it does, as it ‘s just so unfair. Life’s hard enough without folks trying to make people do things like marry somebody, anybody, just because THEY think it’s right. I’m in my late 50’s never married and nobody ever asks me why or how come I didn’t get married. it’s simply accepted. In fact sometimes my younger male friends will half jokingly congratulate me on managing to ‘escape’ getting married. which is kind of weird as they are mostly all married and seem to be happy with it.
Myself I never married mostly because I suck at relationships – my childhood left me with all sorts of shame low self esteem issues and a bed rock conviction I was fundamentally unlovable which managed to sabotage my few attempts at any sort of relationship. I’m okay now with me as me and my life as I live it. Time and a lot of therapy has helped but some wounds just never quite heal right.

Mrex
Mrex
5 years ago

On the other my most recent ex’s grandmother dumped her firstborn on her parents. So there’s probably a happy medium there?-Argenti

Yeah there defiantly is a happy medium. Boundaries and a give and take are good for all! 🙂 I was more referring to the grandparents who act like persecuted heroes if they watch their grandkids at all because they feel they’ve “done their time”.

Grandparents, even those who love their grandkids specifically and children in general to pieces, have done their “time”.-proxieme

“Doing time”, what is this, prison? 😉

Yes, I know all about how exhausting small children are, which is why the bulk of their care shouldn’t fall on the shoulders of any one person (lets face it- usually the mother). The single largest contributor in child mistreatment and abuse is overwhelmed, isolated, parents.

Like it or not, parenting is a lifelong commitment. Your kids don’t stop needing your help, love, or advice just because they’ve turned some magic number. Of course, I’m not suggesting that you allow your adult children to use you to escape responsibility. You should have different expectations for a 25 year old than you have for a 18 year old, just as you have different expectations for a 10 year old than you have for a 2 year old. You should have different expectations for an adult child set up in a career with a 10 year old child than you have for a young parent trying to not to lose their career during the first years of their child’s life.

Like it or not, childcare is flat out *unaffordable* for anyone in the middleclass or lower in the US. The waiting list for subsides can span *years* and are income/household dependent.

Take me for example; My childcare costs would be $600/wk, $2,000/mth, $24,000/yr. Including my taxes, transport, and other expenses, I would have to be making over 50k a year just to break even, which would put me in one of the higher income groups in my area. Needless to say, I gave up my career so that I could work around childcare as I literally couldn’t make enough to afford to keep it. What would happen to someone less fortunate than me? Someone who could’t quit a job over a weekend and not starve? (Note- don’t assume this is a bitter rant about my own parents, my dad helps out all he can, and my mom is dead, so don’t make my societal complaints about me.;))

It’s not a belief that childcare should be “cheap”, it’s a belief that it should be subsidized, like public education is. It’s the belief that working shouldn’t *actually* be a luxury. Feminists worked hard so that women could work, what good does it do if women (or husbands, for that matter), can’t afford to show up?

Tl;dr

Childcare is priced out of reach for most families, and should be subsidized. Parents owe it to their kids to continue being parents for life, and help out, as reasonable for the situation.

ceebarks
ceebarks
5 years ago

Grandparents, even those who love their grandkids specifically and children in general to pieces, have done their “time”.

I actually have a dream/plan: To add to our house/convert some spaces as time and money allows to make room for my Mom once she gets a bit older – not so she can be a back-up babysitter, but so she can spend her old age not having to worry about property taxes and bills and can focus her time and money on doing whatever the hell she wants (and, since we’re in the US, on healthcare *I Love Lucy Ewww face*).

That’s an awesome idea. My mom has been talking about someday coming to live with us. She’s in her mid-50s so it probably wouldn’t be until my kids are pretty well grown themselves, so I think it could work out, space-wise. We also have a large outbuilding that could also be converted into living space for maybe 40K- 50Kish… it is insulated and has electricity and nice windows but needs plumbing, a bathroom, a heater, and some interior finishing work….

My MIL still babysits in her 70s, though now it’s often the great-grandkids she’s chasing. From chatting with her I get the impression she’s really not feeling that great about it, but I don’t think she tells the children’s parents how she feels, so it’s not really their fault, either. I don’t really understand how she got into this position to begin with, but the whole family is a lot more “entwined” than my own family, so there are a lot of things I fail to grasp. And hey, my ILs have told my husband that I seem aloof and distant, so I know the perplexity goes both ways.

But I’d no more ask my similarly-aged grandparents to babysit regularly than fly to the moon– and if I did ask, they’d probably tell me that they’ve already raised a generation of kids, thankyouverymuch. My own mother is still working and has some chronic health issues to boot, so that’s out, even if we did live closer together. If I were in a position to fully support her financially in exchange for afterschool childcare and some light housekeeping, that’d be fair and she’d probably even enjoy that. But expecting her to work 40 hrs for her bread and then spend another several hours chasing kids gratis strikes me as really unfair and unsustainable, even if she agreed to it out of… misplaced guilt or whatever.

ANYWAY, the moral of this story is that the old “traditional” lifelong-marriage-and-kids path does not, in any way, shape or form. preclude the facing of interpersonal drama, complicated emotions, and conflicting demands, even in one’s older years. So if someone’s trying to sell you marriage-and-kids so you’ll have some kind of promised happy/comfortable ending, you should probably go realtalk with a variety of older women before inking the deal. ha

ceebarks
ceebarks
5 years ago

Oh, I’m definitely for subsidized public childcare. The demands of childrearing often come at during a low ebb in household incomes (20somethings and early 30somethings haven’t peaked income-wise, and that’s pretty much when we expect them to have kids!)

And child-rearing is necessary to the functioning of society, so it should be subsidized just like public education.

I too quit work for years to be SAHM, because infant care was 800/month where I lived ten years ago, and once you added in a second and third kid… forget about it! It burns my ass to look at my resume now: there’s no place on there to talk about being a SAHM, whereas if I’d worked comparable hours at a daycare center I would have had a whole lot of recent official work experience.

I just don’t think grandparents should be the ones to bear the brunt of providing cheap-to-free childcare for parents. Most of them already struggled to raise their own offspring once, including, in many cases, sacrificing their own career ambitions and leisure time. It’s crappy to ask them to do it twice (or even three times) over.

Two totally separate issues.

Mrex
Mrex
5 years ago

Uh fucked up my blockquote tag. Also

*definitely, not defiantly

*I misentered the numbers for my chidcare costs- $600/wk, $2400/mth, $28,800/yr. That’s what I get for doing things for memory and not doing out the math from weekly payments. And yes, the 50k/yr number is accurate, I remember that one, as I’ve done a lot of defense of my decisions with it.

@ParadoxicalIntention

I suppose “knight in shining armor” sounds more attractive than “knight in bloody, battered armor”, but it really that just reillustrates how the whole concept is about image, and not substance. Makes for nice entertainment for adults, but kids unquestionably absorb everything they see.

I was somewhat impressed by Frozen, and even more so by Big Hero 6 and Maleficient, so maybe Disney is at least moving in the right direction.

Bina
Bina
5 years ago

I mean, I’ve never heard anyone go, “Well, this guy really gets me. He’s smart, funny, and pretty much has his act together when it comes to knowing How To Adult. We enjoy each other’s company and have compatible values. Buuuuut…. what if there’s one out there JUST LIKE HIM but with WASHBOARD ABS, too? I’d better not tie myself down yet!”

If you like somebody—really, really like somebody—you’re too busy counting your lucky stars to be with them to ponder if there’s a hypothetical better person out there. If you find yourself thinking, “I can do better”, it’s almost certainly because something in the relationship is making you unhappy. That might be on you, that might be on them, that might just be on the fact that dating can be super awkward and not work sometimes. But it’s probably a good sign that no, you should definitely not sign a lifelong commitment with that person.

This! I’ve never done that first thing, either.

But…and this is a big BUT…I can recall at least two guys I dated pulling the “upgrade” card. One of them claimed I was an “upgrade” from his previous girlfriend. Which was, gee, awww, kinda-sorta flattering…until I got dumped by said guy a year and a half later. Then it was “gee, I wonder if he ‘upgraded’ from me to someone else, someone with the party-girl personality and ‘coconut-crushing thighs’ he was always on about, the ones I didn’t have…” I didn’t bother trying to find out, though. I was already hurt enough.

The other was kind of a proto-PUA type who made no secret of the fact that he chased a lot of “good looking women” (gee, thanks, also soooo flattering) and was trying to go out with as many as possible. Oddly, though, he chickened when it came to sex. When he dumped me, we were both still technically virgins! I was so broken up about that one, too…which is stupid, really, because he kind of left the warning sign out, and I just didn’t pay much attention to it. Oh well…what goes around comes around. And when he came around again two years later, I was the one who told him “sorry, there’s someone else now!” and hung up the phone feeling, well, not too shabby. Ha, ha.

weirwoodtreehugger
5 years ago

I was dumped by a guy once because he didn’t think the relationship was like a movie relationship which is what he wanted.

GrumpyOldMan
5 years ago

I would take issue with the phrase “hostile sexism” applied to the Japanese — it is very strong (in terms of “proper” gender roles) but it isn’t really that hostile. The Japanese are raised to be extremely conformist, to believe there is a right way to do everything. (When they confront a situation which has no “canned” response, they tend to become confused. My wife’s great-great-grandfather, who is all but forgotten in the US [or was until some goofy professor started trying to argue that he was Emily Dickinson’s secret lover], is very famous in Japan as a major contributor to turning Japan into a modern nation. When we were in Japan, people would ask my wife about the stories about him that had been passed down in the family, and when she replied truthfully that there weren’t any, they would become completely discombobulated — it was unthinkable to them.) Even in writing the characters that make up most of their written language there is a correct sequence of strokes for each character that must be memorized. The Japanese therefore tend to have a great fear of doing something improper, which leads to a very high degree of conformity without the appearance of heavy-handed enforcement.
Things may have changed somewhat over the 20 years since we were there last, but it was quite true that when women married they were expected to give up their careers and become full-time mothers, largely devoted to keeping their little scholars on track in the oppressively competitive Japanese education system. Women who wanted to keep their careers — we met a few — tended not to marry. I got the impression that it will be a long time before the working mother — at least in the middle and upper income ranges — becomes a common thing in Japan.

proxieme
proxieme
5 years ago

Mrex – Dude, you don’t have to tell me. I’m staying home right now, too, because the costs of infant/toddler care + before/after school care for two older kids would have eaten most of the paycheck that I was bringing home with two, and I would have been paying to work in the summer. (And we did intentionally look at only my pay when considering the move since (1) I would have been / am the one staying home since at the time my husband made more than me and neither of us had careers that allow for easy “downshifting”.)

I 100% agree that we should have subsidized, quality childcare in the US, if for no other reason than that study after study has shown that *quality* childcare has a substantial impact on subsequent school performance.
I’m surprised that the Republicans haven’t brought it up as a “leg-up” solution since they don’t want to address structural issues behind their new dear, income inequality.

And, yep – I’m looking at my professionally stagnant LinkedIn and the future gaping hole (save volunteering) in my resume with a little trepidation.

We can get by on my husband’s income (and, not to break my arm patting myself on the back, the money that I’m currently saving us with home cooked meals, in-sourced manual labor, etc), but the grand plans outlined for additions to accommodate my Mom (and, not mentioned, our kids – we’re in a high-cost area, and I’d be surprised if they don’t camp out here and save for awhile as young adults) will more than likely only happen if I can bring more money to the table.

And what gets me is this is a conundrum that primarily only hits those already doing relatively well.

I’ve been a single Mom, and the stress of trying to make sure that your kids are in a safe, constructive environment while you try to work to pay the rent is mind numbing.

More to say, but I’ve already written too much.

proxieme
proxieme
5 years ago

GoM – I think that The Washington Post had something on that (and the dive in the Japanese birthrate) awhile back.

No time to search now, but it was within the last month or so if you want to have a go.

Mrex
Mrex
5 years ago

I just don’t think grandparents should be the ones to bear the brunt of providing cheap-to-free childcare for parents. Most of them already struggled to raise their own offspring once, including, in many cases, sacrificing their own career ambitions and leisure time. It’s crappy to ask them to do it twice (or even three times) over-ceebanks.

Guess I just don’t see it that way. Yeah definitely, there should be some middle ground, and the grandparent’s stamina and health definitely need to be taken into consideration, but I do feel that it’s a literal responsibility for grandparents to help out as appropriate. (Appropriate meaning circumstances such as the health of the grandparents, work and other commitments on the grandparents time, the reason that the parents need childcare (childcare needed for a job being more appropriate than childcare needed to go clubbing), appreciativeness of the help on the part of the adult children, etc.)

It wasn’t until a few generations ago that there even was paid childcare, before that childcare *was* the extended family. Of course, lots of dumb things were done in the past, but I just don’t view the expectation that hands-on childcare as a jail sentence that expires as progress. Just my opinion.

Perhaps in fairness I should mention that I have a much less closely-held opinion that the best childcare developmentally for *babies* and *toddlers* is by a family member that will be involved with the child over the long term. I realize this is an *opinion* and not a *fact*, but in the spirit of transparency/fairness, it probably does bias my other opinions on the role that grandparents should take.

Can totally relate to the damage done by a childcare induced career change, slowdown, or break. Wish I had known JUST how bad it would be beforehand. Hugs if you want them, ceebanks. 🙂

katz
5 years ago

Fun fact: We don’t have public childcare in the US because the filthy commies did it.

http://www.vydr.ru/fs/a_articles_photos/9094_pic.jpg

Buttercup Q. Skullpants

I’m up against the economic realities of childcare too…single mom, so I have no choice but to work. (In a lot of families these days, both parents have to work – it’s not a choice or a luxury.) Around here, 2 little ones in daycare runs me $1900 a month, which is like taking on an extra mortgage. Since my twins missed our state’s kindergarten cutoff date by a few weeks, that will cost me an additional $23K in daycare. I’m praying we can hang on financially till then.

I wish state-funded preschools were more common in the US. The school district we live in is piloting a pre-K program this year, but admission is lottery-based, with 60% of the slots allocated to families that already receive state aid, and there are way more applicants than there are spaces. Some school districts also do rolling kindergarten starts, where kids start the semester after they turn 5, rather than make some kids wait almost a whole year and having huge age disparities in the classroom.

Of course, the expense doesn’t end when they get to kindergarten. There’s before and after care, school vacations, summer vacations, bank holidays, professional days, half days, snow days…and then they start getting into sports, camps, and activities, with all the associated fees and equipment costs. I’ve heard estimates anywhere from $250,000 – $500,000 per child to raise an average middle-class child here in the U.S., and that’s not even counting college tuition.

The $3000 per child tax credit is ridiculously small, IMO. It’s a drop in the bucket compared with what most people pay annually for child care. Same with the $5000 limit for FSA dependent care costs. At the very least, all child care expenses should be tax deductible.

Something has to give. Families are scrambling to put together a patchwork of child care, parents don’t have enough sick days to take care of their kids, women find they can’t afford to stay home with kids any more (or worse, they can’t afford to work and have to leave the workforce), families find themselves in a slowly sinking financial boat, and marriages start to crumble under the pressure of constant money worries. Meanwhile, the “family values” crowd spends an enormous amount of time bleating about keeping the traditional marriage and family intact, and zero time enacting policies that actually help families.

ceebarks
ceebarks
5 years ago

I think grandparent care can be nice, but it can’t be expected, not as a society-wide solution. There are a lot of reasons. Not all grandparents are responsible or effective caregivers, not all adult children are capable of using grandparent care w/o abusing it.

Some families are geographically too scattered for it to be effective even if you passionately wanted it to work, and others have such diametrically opposed caregiving styles that no accord can be reached on what’s appropriate.

Plus, my mother sacrificed her career completely for the sake of her children, and now she’s slowly building it back up, from scratch. I plan to follow a similar path. Kids first, then bear down on education/work.

I have a hard time being a’tall pleased with the idea that in ten years, my children should have any business deciding that I have a “responsibility” to take another career/indepedence hit in favor of unpaid domestic work, so they don’t have to, you know?

I think I would be PISSED.

The public option keeps that kind of angsty family dynamic down to a minimum. ha

And it PAYS the workers, hopefully at least as decently as public-school teachers are paid now: that’s what’s best about it to me.

Like it or not, money = respect in our society! Everyone talks about respecting caregivers, blah blah blah, but as far as I’m concerned it doesn’t amount to a hill of beans until they start putting some real money in that hand.

Argenti Aertheri
5 years ago

Proxieme — that sounds awesome! If you can, try to plan for when she’s quite old and needs things like no stairs and an accessible bathroom and such — my grandfather’s tub became too dangerous for him to try to get in and out of long before he reached the point we couldn’t handle his care in-home, a walk-in shower with chair would’ve been great. (I think the funniest solution to this I’ve ever seen was a bathroom with a fully draining floor and long handheld showerhead, so you could just sit on the toilet and shower. Hilarious, but hey, it worked!)

sn0rkmaiden
5 years ago

Living in Britain I get it a lot easier as a single mother, we do get 15hrs a week free nursery care from age three, and the benefits system is a lot less punishing (for now). I agree that the U.S. should have good quality, state sponsored childcare. Having a family shouldn’t be regarded as a luxury.

Back to the OP, I’ve never rejected a man on the grounds that ‘I can do better’, what does ‘better’ even mean? Either you’re into someone or you aren’t, and to be with someone you’re not into because you think you’re running out of options is unfair on both of you.

I’ve completed my own version of ‘I Can Do Better’ on my blog, if anyone would care to check it out:

http://depressedfeminist.blogspot.co.uk/2015/02/a-badly-drawn-rebuttal-to-i-can-do.html

karleenamarx
5 years ago

The fact is that people are allowed to set their standards however they like. I could say I’m waiting for a millionaire supermodel who owns 2 black horses and a meadow for us to ride through. Am I going to get it? Probably not, but that’s not the point. If I decide I’d rather have a relationship with someone rather than wait for my sexy millionaire equestrian, that’s another valid thing I–or anyone else–can do. The dudes making shit like this are just upset that some women’s standards will never be low enough to date them.
That said, when people set high expectations, it’s not fair of them to complain that no one meets them. You can set your standards however high you want, just as long as you’re ok with the idea that it’s possible you won’t find someone who meets them (who will like you back).

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
5 years ago

@sn0rkmaiden:

That was awesome. I could clap, or laugh out loud, or snap my fingers in appreciation, but really there’s only one possible response.

*♫ poignant music ♫*

karleenamarx
5 years ago

As for whether the “I can do better” rejection even exists? I’ve only ever heard it used post break-up from the friends of the dumped party, like “Oh, you don’t need him, you could do so much better.” And in that one Avril Lavigne song as an incentive for the subject to dump his girlfriend.

GrumpyOldMan
5 years ago

Yes, the Japanese birthrate has been falling for a long time, and they face real problems in caring for an aging population with a shrinking population — they may be forced to make it easier for women to go back to work and perhaps let their adolescents fend for themselves a bit more (Japan is the land of the helicopter mother — she hovers because there’s not that much else for her to do.) The Japanese have a national belief that their relatively high social harmony comes from the fact that they are so ethnically homogeneous and not, as many of us would believe, from social conditioning. This makes them resistant to change.

I was a SAHD. My wife and I are about equal in education, but I have a criminal record as a Vietnam era draft resister and she has always been very good in business-related work so she has had a relatively easy time finding good-paying jobs that were looking to hire women for non-traditional jobs. When we married, she was earning 3 times as much as I was, so we agreed that when we had children (which she definitely wanted) I would be the one to stay home with them. (I was already pretty experienced with small children because my first wife was schizophrenic and had periods where she was incapable of handing even routine child care.) I had a part-time job that paid so little that I was essentially a volunteer, and I did some maintenance work on the house across the street that she bought as an income property, but basically our financial survival was based on her ability to perform at a high level professionally and my doing things that we would have had to pay for if I’d been working full time.
I’ve always felt that it’s better to have a parent at home when children are small (not so much when they are older and a stay-at-home parent is inclined to over-parent) — but of course that’s a time when people are starting careers and not making a lot of money. I wish men would read things like what the women have written on this blog to understand how women are responsible for most child care AND for the care of their aging parents,. to understand what a major contribution this is to the welfare and functioning of society. When I read about these dudes writing about how women are worthless selfish gold-diggers, I feel like saying, “Why don’t you crawl out from that rotten log you’ve been living in and actually look at what really happens in real life.” I mean, all men had mothers (except those raised in the woods by wolves), and most of them have sisters, daughters, etc. Why they can’t understand that women bear these burdens imposed by biology and society and deserve a bit of consideration towards having things made easier for them in other ways — I’ll just never understand. Why we let parenthood be a serious disadvantage to a woman’s career prospects completely escapes me. Children need care FFS. The richest country on the planet ought to be able to manage that.

Mrex
Mrex
5 years ago

meanwhile, the “family values” crowd spends an enormous amount of time bleating about keeping the traditional marriage and family intact, and zero time enacting policies that actually help families.-Buttercup Q. Skullpants

But that’s what all the tax breaks for the rich are for-trickle into rich peep’s pockets, er, trickle down! /s

single mom, so I have no choice but to work. (In a lot of families these days, both parents have to work – it’s not a choice or a luxury.

As a single mom, if your income was lower than what getting to work costs, you literally would not be able to work- there would be no partner to borrow the difference from. You would either be on welfare or the street- hence the tongue in cheek comment about work being a “luxury”. The poorer you are, the harder it is to “afford” the ability to work.

Most SAHM are poor and hispanic and home because they have no other option. It’s not the grand, privileged “choice” of white elites that society makes it out to be.

I have a hard time being a’tall pleased with the idea that in ten years, my children should have any business deciding that I have a “responsibility” to take another career/indepedence hit in favor of unpaid domestic work, so they don’t have to, you know?

Fair enough. Different strokes for different folks I guess. I don’t think that grandparents should give up their jobs so their kids don’t have to, grandparents need to worry about having enough to support themselves in old age (plus all the social/psychological benefits.) But as for all the concerns about freedom, or leisure, yeah, I just don’t get it. My parents *couldn’t* give me the time because of their health, or for work reasons, barring unforeseen circumstances, I don’t want my kids to struggle like I have. Besides, Why would I make the sacrifices I make now for my minor daughters if I expected them to grenade their careers 5-10 years in?

The government will never replace family or friends. What happens in an emergency? Or when both parents can only work nights?

ceebarks
ceebarks
5 years ago

Fair enough. Different strokes for different folks I guess. I don’t think that grandparents should give up their jobs so their kids don’t have to, grandparents need to worry about having enough to support themselves in old age (plus all the social/psychological benefits.) But as for all the concerns about freedom, or leisure, yeah, I just don’t get it. My parents *couldn’t* give me the time because of their health, or for work reasons, barring unforeseen circumstances, I don’t want my kids to struggle like I have. Besides, Why would I make the sacrifices I make now for my minor daughters if I expected them to grenade their careers 5-10 years in?

But if grandparents shouldn’t have to give up their careers to provide care, and they should still provide enough care to make a big dent in the childcare bills, when exactly should most of them do this? In my family, grandparents of young children are mostly between 45-60, and working about that many hours a week, too.

I kinda think that romanticizing family care keeps parents from getting real about assessing cost and quality. If childcare is a labor of love, bringing money into it sullies it somehow, I guess. OTOH… if it’s free, it’s not actually worth anything.

I’ve met women who totally resisted hiring childcare even when they KNEW their unpaid caregivers were unreliable, unqualified, or plain old sick of it. I don’t even think it’s always (so much) cheapness as it is that paid caregiving has a weird stigma in some circles, since the family should do it all.

“OMG, me and Hubby NEED a night out. If I could just get someone to watch Dudley! *…hint hint*”

“*not taking it* Dude, you should try my sitter. Awesome college kid, and only like $10/hr. She made watercolor caricatures of the kids. Then she organized the toy bins after the kids went to bed. Goddamned genius.”

“Oh! I could never leave Dudley with a stranger!

But your clearly burned-out cousin who ignores your increasingly frantic babysitting-solicitation texts for days and then barely makes eye contact with your toddler when he arrives is ok?

(ppl are weird: news at 11.)

Anyway, who knows, I may soften up about this when/if my actual grandbabies arrive. A lot can change in ten or twenty years. 😀

ParadoxicalIntention
5 years ago

Mrex

I was somewhat impressed by Frozen, and even more so by Big Hero 6 and Maleficient, so maybe Disney is at least moving in the right direction.

I haven’t seen Big Hero 6 yet, but I’ve heard good and bad things. Frozen was pretty good, but OMG MALEFICENT.

It was an AMAZING movie, and hearing whiny man-babies complain it failed a reverse Bechdel test was just icing on the delicious, delicious cake.

http://38.media.tumblr.com/7cf268cf3fb6a9cf55cc62a3fc5ebd23/tumblr_n6iaxw5n6P1rfduvxo1_500.gif

Ceebarks

I have a hard time being a’tall pleased with the idea that in ten years, my children should have any business deciding that I have a “responsibility” to take another career/indepedence hit in favor of unpaid domestic work, so they don’t have to, you know?

Exactly. My grandma always agreed to take my siblings and I for a month in the summer, and we were free to come visit whenever we liked, but that was her choice to do so. (She also raised my cousins essentially. My mom’s sister had a bit of a rocky life with her past relationships.)

Grandparents should want to be in their grandchildren’s lives, but they shouldn’t have to take care of them and babysit whenever Parental Figures want to go off and be adults. Grandparents have already done their time raising the parents.

Bette Hopper
5 years ago

Chiming in late on this thread but this “spinsterhood” theme is one my favorites from these guys, because really, it’s patriarchy in a nutshell. Women as a class are brainwashed with the “having a husband is the pinnacle of achievement” propaganda because marriage is a much better deal for *men* and it’s *the* way that the dominance/submission paradigm that defines patriarchy thrives like a zucchini plant in August. They get their legal housekeeper/fuckdoll/broodmare, they often still cheat, and the woman gets what, exactly? If she has to depend on him, a potentially pretty shitty situation.

Granted there are many women who enjoy being married, and that’s their choice. Power to you if you’ve found a decent guy and a way to make it work. But that’s why some men hate feminism so much—it (and birth control) freed women from the *necessity* of depending on men (albeit it’s still privileged woman who have more of that mobility). Thus we have the everlasting specter of spinsterhood as the WORST fate that could befall any woman. I myself tried living with a man twice, and after the second time I said NEVER AGAIN. Peace. Freedom. Financial independence. I wallow in them. I thank the feminists who came before me who made it possible, and if I’d wanted children, I’d have most likely visited a sperm bank; it’s the ultimate in misandry you know. Bwahaahaha.

(Also, this is the part where some A+ dude says, “The lady doth protest too much, methinks,” for anybody playing at home.)

Mrex
Mrex
5 years ago

But if grandparents shouldn’t have to give up their careers to provide care, and they should still provide enough care to make a big dent in the childcare bills, when exactly should most of them do this?-ceebanks

I think it’s more that the grandparents should help out as much as they *can* and is *appropriate*, rather than that the grandparents should watch the grandkids a certain amount time. of hours how many hours that turns out to be. But if the grandparents are worn down, sick, etc, then no, forcing themselves to watch the grandkids is not good for anyone.

Ideally I wish that we would go back to a more communal concept of child-rearing. I think that parents are truly over-burdened and isolated in our society. But no, grandparents shouldn’t be forced into a situation that doesn’t work for them either!

@ParadoxicalIntent, I really liked Big Hero 6, in fact, it’s probably one of the best movies I’ve seen. It kind of annoyed me that the lead characters were Japanese(?), and you couldn’t really tell. The movie was obviously made by some anime fans, as it kinda bit it pretty hard.

Other than that;

-no real romantic attachments that I can remember
-people of different cultural/racial backgrounds
-even though the story revolved around two brothers, all women were well rounded and integral to the storyline IMO
-I don’t want to give too much away about the plot, but I think that the way he movie explores it’s themes about life ect. is really well done. I had just lost a family member shortly before I watched this movie, and it honestly hit me in the feels and moved me deeply.

Bina
Bina
5 years ago

I was dumped by a guy once because he didn’t think the relationship was like a movie relationship which is what he wanted.

Which movie? Because some of them can be quite ghastly (hello, Sleeping With the Enemy!)

weirwoodtreehugger
5 years ago

I’m assuming he meant more Say Anything or Sleepless in Seattle type movies, but who knows?

katz
5 years ago

It kind of annoyed me that the lead characters were Japanese(?), and you couldn’t really tell.

They’re actually biracial, FWIW.

melissayears
5 years ago

Well, I’ll never get those eight minutes back…

sn0rkmaiden
5 years ago

@kirbywarp

Thanks 🙂 Though I did post it with a glaring type-o that ruined the joke initially.

Ellesar
5 years ago

Bette Hopper: I think these guys are pining for a previous Golden Age, when he got his housekeeper, fuckdoll and broodmare and she was grateful for the respectability of marriage and children. This is why they hate single parent women so much, and exaggerate the problems that children from those families have (but only the boys – hey only mention the boys!).

I honestly do think that some men literally CANNOT UNDERSTAND why a woman might want to say no. I had so many approaches from men when I was younger that were twice my age, or in other ways utterly inappropriate. I NEVER said ‘what the hell are you thinking?’, but I did want to. I think that they have an inflated sense of self, that just being a MAN is enough.

Of course this is breaking down, but rather then become a more interesting/ less sexist/ more thoughtful person, or whatever it takes, many men are resorting to the whining option, as that is much easier than actually looking at oneself and saying ‘OK I can see why my relationships fail’.

Falconer
5 years ago

I’d rather go see Big Hero 6 than Battle of the Five Armies, really. It’s a shame, albeit a small one — I’ve seen the rest of Jackson’s Tolkien movies in the theater, it would be nice to complete the set. But that would mean leaving my children with someone for over three hours, which doesn’t quite seem fair. Plus, it just doesn’t look that interesting, nothing in the plot to support the big set pieces.

What I’ve seen of BH6 on the Internet looks awesome, by contrast.

Robert
Robert
5 years ago

We (husband and me) know two women who are single mothers by choice. Both are college educated professionals, both own their own homes, both adopted their daughters. I like to imagine just how pig-biting angry they would make RedPillocks.

One did date a man about a decade ago, who seemed all right until he got convinced that, when married, they would move to rural Oregon. She did not want to raise her daughter in that environment, he wouldn’t budge, bye bye. She has never regretted that.

Ellesar
5 years ago

Robert – I am a single mother by choice (sperm donors) and I believe that the choice, right from the start is a totally different experience to the typical single mother, who usually did not want to be a single mother. I accept the stats about more negative outcomes for boys of single mothers, but I would v v much like to see the study where women like me and your friends were looked at in detail, and the outcomes of our kids examined. I do not think that we would come out badly at all!

I do not have the money your friends have, but my kids are SUCH nice boys, and do not have problems, not even the usual adolescent stuff that all parents expect. But I am sure that the manosphere would call them manginas – just as well I am not doing it for them!

Nick Anderson
Nick Anderson
5 years ago

Thank you for bringing this gem into my life! Mark Zolo has achieved the same stupid sexist garbage film making as The Room, dare I say we are seeing the horribly bland start of another Wiseau-esk filmmaker. I look forward to his next feature being the next episode of How Did This Get Made? and the next live simulcast of Riff Trax.

I implore any other feminist MSTies like me to watch this… thing. And even if you’re not just go scroll through the comments: for once in YouTube’s miserable life they are an uplifting read!